13 March 2013

Unearthed Reviews: When Giants Sleep. Three stars

| Barcham
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Unearthed Reviews took a day off to party yesterday, but today have returned with a vengeance. I want you all to know I don’t get to pick which bands I review. There is a system, there are words engraved onto lists that I cannot alter. Today those words said When Giants Sleep.

Here’s what they have to say about themselves:

When Giants Sleep were formed in February 2011 and have finished recording their first E.P. “My Fight, Your Monsters” was launched alongside friends in “Hands Like Houses” at their EP launch in their hometown Canberra.

So far, they have played many shows locally with the likes of “Confession”, “Northlane”, “Buried In Verona” and many talented local acts.

Here’s what I have to say about them:

Aren’t they just precious? Ahem. Under genre they’ve listed metal and punk, under ‘sounds like’ they’ve written ‘themselves’. Under influences they’ve listed puberty. I made up that last part.


When giants sleep are very sincere. Sadly their sincerity makes it hard for me to take them seriously. I understand this is my problem and not theirs, but I’m reviewing them and not me. When I do review myself, I promise you I will take this shortcoming into consideration. I am no expert on punk music, and I am certainly in no position to declare myself a gatekeeper of the genre, but I really think When Giants Sleep might have been stretching the truth a little when they called themselves punk. They’re not punk. They’re screamo new-metal. I don’t mean that as an insult, it’s just what they are. Own what you are.

Their first track on the site is Flint Beastwood. A solid title, and their best song. It certainly contains the least amount of strained, nasal, headache-causing vocals that feature in the other two tracks. It does have a lot of metal roary business, which some people really like. Again, I cannot take it seriously. Musically the tracks are fine. The band are competent and bash their way through the songs with plenty of enthusiasm, but far too much sincerity. There needs to be more fun here to catch my interest.

Their titles suggest a playfulness that is absent from their music. They have a song called Master Splinter’s Making A Comeback. I left this song until last hoping it would save the band for me. It is not a song about Master Splinter. It is a song about angst. There is nothing wrong with songs about angst, but I felt like the title promised something that the song failed to deliver. This makes me sad.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I really like Master Splinter.

They should have called it Angst Is Making A Comeback. It would have shown a self-awareness that would have endeared them to me. I would have liked them more if they had done that. Or alternatively they should have just sung about Ninja Turtles. I would have given that five stars, because I am a nerd.

Three stars.

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