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Unusual honesty in advertising

johnboy 23 November 2010 17

7 Frater Crescent

This ad from AllHomes has been sent in which we thought you’d enjoy.

LOST: HOUSEMATE
We’re looking for someone to pay rent for the empty room in our house. Occupation of room is optional.

We are a young, professional couple (of people who aren’t in a relationship [but who do occasionally cuddle {other people}]). We seek someone who is tidier and more attractive than our last housemate.

– room is about yay* big, unfurnished, with window, vertical blinds, horizontal carpet, two power points, one light, one lightswitch and built in wardrobe
– hallway cupboard
– 70s kitchen, laundry and bathroom, all tiled
– kitchen has lots of cupboard space, fridge, microwave, oven, grill, stovetop, and a secret cupboard that you will have to find in order to proceed to the next level
– bathroom has bath, sink, power point, light, shower, mirror
– laundry has washing machine, cupboard and door to outside with missing key
– one toilet with sign that says ‘toilet’ on door
– loud English neighbour
– backyard of grass and concrete, Hills Hoist clothes line (that gets caught in neighbours tree), garden beds of bushes, weeds and strawberries that just started growing one day
– bedrooms, hallway, loungeroom and study are carpeted (no further comment)
– giant loungeroom with low hanging light fitting
– four couches (but we’re not attached to two of them)
– extra room off loungeroom that we’re unsure of what to do with
– occasionally an elderly woman with an eye-patch and a young exchange-student sidekick comes around and gives us medallions of the Virgin Mary and invites us to her church

*I was supposed to measure the room and provide ridiculously accurate measurements here, but I forgot. Sorry. (The room’s about five metres by five metres. You could fit two Queen-size beds in there if you chopped one of them up.)

North Lyneham is a short drive from most places within a 5km radius and also has (to the best of our knowledge) the only home-made-scale-model-of-new-Parliament-House-in-someone’s-front-yard in the world.

“It’s like you live in some sort of urban ghetto Narnia.”
– Colleague

HURRY! STOCKS ARE LIMITED! EVERYTHING IN THIS AD IS TRUE. NO, REALLY. ESPECIALLY THE NARNIA BIT. WE CALL OUR LANDLORD ‘ASLAN’.


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17 Responses to Unusual honesty in advertising
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Ozi Ozi 12:00 am 26 Nov 10

Brilliant. Love that, and would be tempted to apply just to live with such funny people.

a shame that they have had to change it due to offending people. There is absolutely nothing offensive about it: clearly a joke. be nice if some more ads like that were on All Homes, and less humourless people ruined the fun for everyone else.

AHornbag AHornbag 10:22 pm 25 Nov 10

PMSL!!

jayskette jayskette 9:43 pm 25 Nov 10

If only all real estate ads are like this! You will instantly know whether to buy that place, since all the physicals/legals will be on display at the open houses anyway. Not in the market for share housing but thanks for making me laugh 🙂

ChaseMe ChaseMe 4:10 pm 25 Nov 10

Holden, thanks for HMSM of PH in SFY – proof that Canberra is the weirdest place on earth.

Propriety Police, thanks for banning the contrabland: the only thing on allhomes.com.au that proves personality still lurks in Camberra.

RiotACT, thanks for preserving the evidence.

Please support your local eccentric (which in Canberra means anyone not wearing beige and carrying a copy of the APS Code of Conduct) who in danger of becoming extinct.

Jivrashia Jivrashia 11:20 pm 23 Nov 10

Calm down everyone.

I live just around the corner from this place, and the last thing I need is a rowdy congregation of people paying their respect to this PH in SFY.

Darth Weston Darth Weston 6:54 pm 23 Nov 10

Holden Caulfield, thanks for locating the HMSM of PH in SFY. I started to think my memory was shot. It does exist!

Deano Deano 5:38 pm 23 Nov 10

North Lyneham is a short drive from most places within a 5km radius and also has (to the best of our knowledge) the only home-made-scale-model-of-new-Parliament-House-in-someone’s-front-yard in the world.

A tribute to the source of the marble letterbox and front path perhaps?

Holden Caulfield Holden Caulfield 5:06 pm 23 Nov 10

“North Lyneham is a short drive from most places within a 5km radius and also has (to the best of our knowledge) the only home-made-scale-model-of-new-Parliament-House-in-someone’s-front-yard in the world.”

That is awesome!

HERE ‘TIS!

electric589 electric589 4:19 pm 23 Nov 10

Ha, less pervy, more, erm, derivative. (Twitter meme/thing.)

And the free hugs guy is still going isn’t he? Didn’t he get onto Oprah or something?

N

UrbanAdventure.org UrbanAdventure.org 4:10 pm 23 Nov 10

I’m an “other person”. Do I qualify for cuddles. If so, happy to pop over and take up the room. I am in serious need of a cuddle or hug. Hey, what ever happened to the free hug movement….. Err, clean answers only thanks.

Pommy bastard Pommy bastard 4:07 pm 23 Nov 10

“Derivative Hulk?

Oh my, avoid! Sounds pervy….

electric589 electric589 3:56 pm 23 Nov 10

Haha, thank you for the kind words and the repost.

The response to the advertisement has been overwhelmingly positive, (much more than the response to the room itself, surprisingly).

Anyone who is interested in the room, feel free to email derivative.hulk@gmail.com and we can work out a viewing.

Thanks again,
Nick

p1 p1 3:55 pm 23 Nov 10

Wish I was looking for somewhere to live so I could apply. I’m tempted to apply anyway, and take a six pack to the interview.

I needed that giggle.

sirocco sirocco 3:54 pm 23 Nov 10

That is GOLD!

Jivrashia Jivrashia 3:41 pm 23 Nov 10
aidan aidan 3:23 pm 23 Nov 10

Sometimes the internet is beautiful

http://www.google.com.au/search?q=allhomes+narnia+aslan

I love that URL.

JessP JessP 3:10 pm 23 Nov 10

Oh. My. God.

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