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What is Canberra?

By papadoc 25 March 2008 42

A friend of mine is thinking of moving here from overseas and asked me to describe Canberra. After umming and ahhing for a few minutes, all I could say what that “it’s home”.

How would you guys describe this place?

What’s Your opinion?

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What is Canberra?
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radonezh 5:10 pm 31 Mar 08

Canberra is a city built especially to house the Temple built for the worship of the god Mediocrity (favourite deity of the Australian people).

Accordingly, it is ornamented with (amongst other things):
a) miles of roads leading nowhere (and no alternative but to use them),
b) buildings housing thousands of people who are very busy doing a lot of meaningless and ultimately unproductive work.
c) many institutions designed to support the various sects who worship in the Temple

The people of Canberra are almost all members of the various sects. They are a contradiction, as most of them a highly trained and could be considered among the elite, but none of them wish to be recognized in this way as it would be considered blasphemy against the deity. The high-priests who serve the deity in the holy-of-holies (also known as the “House” in the local dialect) are mercanaries who are contracted from the subordinate provinces in order to bring offerings to the ever-hungry deity. The main offerings consist of endless heated discussions (called “Hot Air” or “debates”) and pieces of paper. The adjudicating high-priest (called the “Speaker”) will often be heard exclaiming the word “Order!” (a term of religious ecstasy) during particularly intense sessions of worship.

The citizens of the city are forbidden from owning land due as it is against the spirit of Mediocritanism, which broadly seems to share much in common with communism. Team sport is encouraged due to its imperfectly egalitarian nature. Other religions are officially tolerated, but are subversively discouraged, as they distract from Mediocritanism and often a based on ideals (ideals are discouraged by Mediocritan theology).

Canberra has an artificial lake, a national carillion, several museums and galleries, all of which are described as “Ok, but nothing special”. Allegedly there are shops selling goods, but so far there is no way of ascertaining where they are exactly and it is widely held that they are mythical.

One form of traditional Canberran greeting is “How are you going, mate?” to which the response is invariably “I’m going ok? You?”, “yeah, I’m ok too”.

SilP 4:58 pm 31 Mar 08

Is anybody else having problems with the visiting Portugese Millipedes?

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