Smoque (Pronounced Smoke) is a relatively new player in the restaurant game. It’s on Petrie Plaza just next to Ted’s Cameras off London Circuit.
They’ve gone to the trouble of making a sexy video which gives a feel for the place:
I had a dinner meeting for three to organise so foolishly thought booking a table a few days beforehand would be a simple affair.
No. Smoque only takes bookings for groups of six or more. Smaller groups must take their chances eating at the bar and hoping a table is available.
Turning up at 6 on Friday night I went through four different staff members, was seated at a table barely large enough to hold the hot sauce bottles, and then offered a decent size table on condition I could be out of the place by 7.30.
Or as they put it on their website:
Smoque welcomes reservations for groups of 6 or more, leaving our tables of less than 6 free for walk-ins. Once the restaurant is full, we take a waiting list and most parties choose to wait at a nearby bar until their table is available.
With orders placed over the counter there’s not a lot of guidance for the quite unusual menu.
To save confusion with ordering the three of us ordered the $79 Hi-Five Platter (pictured above) and washed it down with Budweiser.
They’re serious about wanting you to eat with your hands (yes, half a chicken, with your hands). Fortunately copious amounts of kitchen roll are available.
There are no plates either, just the platter shared. Which is novel, but I’d suggest you all decide in common where to deposit your chewed bones.
For all that it can be jarringly unfamiliar the food is seriously delicious.
It had been described to me as “Dude food” and it seriously delivered.
Three big healthy men did not come close to finishing the platter, but thoroughly enjoyed it.
They do have a big selection of salads for the weirdos, and even a smoked vegetables plate, but who would know?
While we were there it was platters all the way.
Also a word of warning. I’d had their Hot Wings at “Suicidal strength” as take away a few weeks before.
They’re not joking.
The things are delicious going down, will make you feel decidedly odd for hours afterwards, and (to put it delicately) will forcibly remind you of the meal for days to come.
So it’s something very different, it’s relatively cheap, and it’s extremely tasty.
You just have to be ready to do things differently.