No excuse for choking boys who upset his stepson, 'Dad mode' stepfather told at sentencing

A stepfather who went into ‘Dad mode’ and choked two 13-year-old boys at a sleepover after they upset his stepson was blasted by a judge at his sentencing, who said there was no excuse for his behaviour.

He was in the ACT Supreme Court to be sentenced on Wednesday (5 July) when he heard he would not be returned to jail to continue his rehabilitation, but he was also told his behaviour was not acceptable.

“Whether the cause was a spontaneous exacting of revenge for the harm done to his stepson or an impulsive and misplaced attempt at vigilante justice, it is obvious that the offence must be condemned in the strongest possible terms,” Justice Verity McWilliam said.

“Whatever dispute has erupted or harm has been caused between their children, there is nothing that excuses parents from inviting themselves into another’s household and using any force against a child victim, let alone choking them, however short-lived such conduct may have been.”

In July 2022, the 12-year-old stepson was invited to meet up with the 13-year-old victims in a park and they started playing a game of ‘slap boxing’, but one of the older boys claimed the younger one had broken the rules and punched him in the eye and nose.

The stepson became upset, went home and told his mother that he had been winning the game and the other boys had “jumped” him.

The older boys were at a sleepover at a home at 9 pm that night when one of their sisters, aged eight, heard someone calling from outside.

Both the 12-year-old’s mother and stepfather then entered the home and asked the girl where her brother was. She pointed at his bedroom.

The stepfather opened the bedroom door to see the two 13-year-olds and some other boys inside and told them, “Well, you boys, we’re going to have a talk”.

One of the 13-year-olds told him to get out, but he grabbed the boy in a headlock and fell onto the bed on top of him.

He also reached out and momentarily grabbed the second 13-year-old by the neck, restricting his ability to breathe.

The father of one of the older boys arrived to find the stepfather and mother in the bedroom and told them to get out.

Police arrested the stepfather the next day, during which he tried to hide under a bed. The mother was also arrested and, in an interview with police, agreed the stepfather had gone into ‘Dad mode’ and raised his voice throughout the incident.

“The offence was designed to threaten harm,” Justice McWilliam said.

“It was a disproportionate response to what had occurred between the victim and the offender’s stepson in the park.”

However, she said it was not deliberate or planned, saying there seemed to have been “a spur-of-the-moment loss of control when he came face to face with the victims”.

She said the stepfather’s personal circumstances had great significance in learning what fed into the offending. She said he is a victim of repeated childhood trauma which had a “catastrophic effect” on every aspect of his life, but he was now taking steps to get treatment and address that trauma.

The justice also said the stepfather’s partner and mother to the 12-year-old had shed light on why he committed the offences.

She said her son struggled with friendships due to his disabilities and had returned from the park with a battered face, in pain and extremely upset.

She said she asked the stepfather to drive her to the sleepover so she could talk with the parents and boys to deal with what happened.

The stepfather had been in custody until he was granted bail on October 2022, but most of this jail time, except for one day, was used up on a sentence for a different matter.

Justice McWilliam said he had made “a last-minute plea” and pleaded guilty to two counts of choking, suffocating or strangling on the morning his trial was supposed to start.

She sentenced him to jail for eight months and one day, ending in March 2024, but almost wholly suspended it – minus the one day he has already served – for him to enter into a good behaviour order for the remainder of the sentence.

He must also attend any rehabilitation or intervention program that the authorities require.

Region has not named the mother or stepfather to avoid identifying the children involved.