Hamburgers: The G Spot vs the greasy van out back of the Belconnen Labour Club

Aurelius, there used to be a dodgy kebab van that preyed upon patrons of the Victory hotel in Brisvegas. I presume he is still there. Perfect for that late night lamb sandwich after a night on the bundy

In Brisvegas, these food vans are nowhere. And I missed the G-Spot’s garlic prawn rolls while I was away. But when I came back, I tried them, and they’ve gone downhill in the meantime. Sorry JR, but Andrew’s standards have dropped while he’s been outsourcing it or whatever has been happening with the G-Spot in recent years

Sorry Danman,

CR – in response to your question

1. Yes
2. Yes
3. Yes

As Thumper pointed out, I am employed by an overseas agency. I have signed a contract with them, and they have examined my role on RA, and have given me their permission to post private stories here. Starting a food review blog is expressly forbidden while I am associated with that agency.

In order to distance myself from a professional capacity – I have toned down the text. I am professional enough a writer to be able to write in several different senses, and to several different forums.

I have called the genre of fast food caravans ‘greasy food van’ for a number of years – although in my native home, they are more appropriately called ‘pie-carts’. Nearly everybody I’ve ever been to the GFV with, has called it the GFV, so obviously you are hanging out in a more exclusive club of patrons. If the owner of the GFV is offended by my terminology, then – well, tough.

Test post to see if canberra resident can handle not having the last word

His/her canberraresident google alert must be going nuts

@Danman – WTF sounds like something you’d find on Gordon Ramsey’s menu.

So is “~” the sh!take mushroom sauce that comes out of your mouth? Sorry, I’m not real good with emoticons, so I’m just taking a wild-rice guess.

By including a couple of culinary references, I’ve managed to stay relevant to the thread.

WTF ?

Restaraunts should save money on gas and employ CR – he will grill everything like he has me – well done and canberraresidentalicious

(insert emoticon here as well game) :P~

yeah, and Danman will have Mewhoknows Sauce with his.

That’s kinda like Mayonnaise, but with a twist …

emoticon = 😉

this thread is flame grilled hungry jacks whopper with genuine smoky/faux char grill seasoning on them… Not quite the real thing, but ill settle for it.

How can you get into a flame war over burgers? How?

meh

@Danman, I was prepared to just let the subject go, without any malice, insults or swearing. You, on the other hand … see/do things differently. Well done Danman.

cr did you not see my emoticons 🙂 and :P~

It was in jest – and not necessarily aimed at anyone.

However, if I said

Q- How does CanberraResident change a lightbulb

a- S/he holds onto it and let the world revolve around them

then that is aimed solely at you…

And you think I’m self centered….Sheesh, seriously, I would prefer talking to a brick wall sometimes…at least you know what you saw will not get through to it.

a few for extra cr brownie points..meh meh meh brickwall brickwall fcuktard brickwall

H1NG0 said :

Ah a ha a ah a ahaha I love it. I like the idea of CR standing up for Checkers. Picketing out the front saying “Its not a greasy van! Its not a greasy van!”. The image is fantastic. Goon on ya CR! Go mate! Go!!!!!

That’s a super-upsized idea if ever I’ve heard one …

Ah a ha a ah a ahaha I love it. I like the idea of CR standing up for Checkers. Picketing out the front saying “Its not a greasy van! Its not a greasy van!”. The image is fantastic. Goon on ya CR! Go mate! Go!!!!!

@H1NG0 – yes, you win, if you choose to take the simplistic view, then yes, you’re right. But there’s a little more to it than that. Don’t make me say it H1NG0! “Meh, what’s the point, it’s like talking to a brick wall” … gosh I love that. Meh … meh … meh … brick wall …

@danman – yes, you win. Maelinar is the best professional food critic in Canberra, and the G Spot wins over Checkers anyday. There you go. You win. I lose.

@AMD – no

CanberraResident said :

@H1NG0, it’s not about that. It’s someone’s business and probably their livelihood. Have some compassion. If you ran a food van business, would you want someone talking about it in that manner? I suspect you wouldn’t care.

Anyway, up the Checkers!

Over and out.

(Sheesh, another repeat of PlaySchool? Three year olds aren’t silly ABC1 …)

Ah right. So you are afraid they would be offended. Thats fair enough I suppose

My G-Spot will whip your checkers arse 🙂

besides that G-spot is closer for me :P~~

so you are just concerned about the feelings of the guys that run said food van. i am sure that they are aware that their food van is infact a greasy food van or whatever.. and i am sure they realise that is part of the appeal.

Absent Diane said :

so canberra resident are you suggesting that all types porfessional writing should lack any form of personalisation or character?

No.

@H1NG0, it’s not about that. It’s someone’s business and probably their livelihood. Have some compassion. If you ran a food van business, would you want someone talking about it in that manner? I suspect you wouldn’t care.

Anyway, up the Checkers!

Over and out.

(Sheesh, another repeat of PlaySchool? Three year olds aren’t silly ABC1 …)

so canberra resident are you suggesting that all types porfessional writing should lack any form of personalisation or character?

I don’t think he gets paid to post his own personal reviews on riotact, so it doesn’t really matter. Last time I went to checkers, yeah it was greasy, and it was a van…a food van. They do a good job of it. Who cares really? Its not like any family is going to take the kids out to Checkers for a fine dining experience. The boozed up 18-30 year olds keep it alive regardless.

He is a professional food critic. I believe he is paid/ contracted to a company based in London to write reviews about the canberra region so they can be read by potential tourists.

Professional? And uses language like “greasy food van”? C’mon mate, nothing professional about that term. Does he seriously get paid for this? Is he a member of orble – check it out – great food critic reviews by normal people like you and danman. wwwdotorbledotcom I think.

@danman. OOohh! Not check mate yet! I’m a “professional” chess player and I say it isn’t “Checkers Mate” yet. Get it? Checkers? Greasy food van? Hah I love amusing myself, even if others take me for a fool. What argument? You see it is an argument danman, because that’s how your brain is trained.

Oh, Play School is on … I’m off to play.

So we are going to get lots of european tourists lining up at the G Spot? Finally, a tourist attraction to rival Parli House.

Check. Mate.

Here endeth the argument

@danman

LOL, bandwagon. You.

Angry much? PMSL.

Professional whinger? Do you need an ABN for that?

If you call responding to three threads in as many days a “serial”, then what do I call you? ROFL. Hey, you need some anger management therapy. There’s a great thread going … something, something, in the City?

CR your just a serial complainant – put a fcuking cork in it – seems you need to go to any said food van and get an extra turbo large cup of STFU.

If mael gets paid for his reviews he is a profesisonal, if he gets an ABN it means he can earn more than 5k PA without anything exceeding that 5K getting taxed at the rate of 49.5%.

Seems you should get an ABN as well as it seems to most people on RA that you’re a professional whinger.

Who really gives a shit? Lets get back to the food discussion.

@M – contradiction. You’re a “professional food critic”, and therefore you are permitted to “post reviews here” as you say, but these reviews are “not in the course of any official capacity I hold as a food critic”?

So then, how would starting your own blog be a conflict of interest, if you’re not writing on here in any official capacity?

Also, as a “professional” food critic:

1) do you have an ABN (see loud music thread where it was pointed out that to call oneself a professional, you must have an ABN relating to that line of business), and

2) do you agree that a true professional would not use the words “greasy food van”, the same gutter language you’d expect from, uuhm, for example, danman’s footballer mates, or were you just trying to identify with potential greasy food van patrons?

A professional independent food critic can write reviews on his/her own blog which was my suggestion.. You’re not signed to any contract with anyone are you? You’ve labelled yourself as a “professional” (ABN equipped I assume), so where is the conflict of interest, and with whom?

@CR – unfortunately for me thats a conflict of interest. I am a professional food critic. I am permitted to post food reviews here, but they are not in the course of any official capacity I hold as a food critic – I paid for the food myself, on a private dining session.

I think if I were to start a blog about it, that grey little line would be well and truly crossed (actually, I think its a breach of contract as well, it’s pretty watertight from the top of my head).

I’m certainly happy to offer my independent professional services, including RA Admin crew to any business that would like a frank and open opinion of their catering service in the Canberra region as a separate business venture however…

p.s. also includes wine and beer tasting.

A question that only a male can ask: Where is the G-Spot?

Or perhaps that is a question for the other thread running at the moment…

@danman – you missed the point. I’m sure the food isn’t healthy; it was the wording I was questioning. It could have been phrased differently. Nobody said anything about salads. Meh, what’s the point … and you know the rest.

@M – I saw post #1; doesn’t change what you wrote. I’m not lending any professional beat-expertise. Nobody asked for continual comparisons. Was merely pointing out that it’s a little unfair to label someone’s business in this way; they probably have a family and kids to feed, and your post, unjustifiably, may turn some people off going there. Oh, but you gave it 10’s, so I guess that makes it ok. I know if I had no knowledge of this place, and someone called it “that greasy food van”, I’d look for an alternative. For what it’s worth, I do usually read your reviews. Canberra needs a real food critic; get yourself a mobile phone with 5mp camera, take pics when you wine and dine, and start your own blog. I’d read it, but it’s gotta be fair. Out.

Props out to across all threads complainants.

Anyone who thinks that late night eateries sell heart smart food must be living in la la land…If anything Mael was just playing a game of state the obvious.

Yeah I can see the local footy team rocking up to generic food van X after their grandfinal booze-a-thon and asking for a few dozen green salads with the dressing on the side.

If I’m drunk I crave greasy savoury food, not food that is good for me. That is why people who drink excessively get fat (see my other post about glycaemic index of corn)

Being located in a football club carkpark, I think they have kind of cornered an after hours market dontchya think

@CR – I’m not that regular a customer to know it by name. I asked Thumper about it yesterday, and he thought it was called ‘Dollys’, but that didn’t quite ring true. Deadmandrinking posted the correct name at post #1.

Happy for you to lend your professional beat-expertise towards food reviews, although I’m not entirely sure the canberra community wants continual comparisons between dunkin donuts and krispy kreme.

For the record though, I was tempted to call it by the name related to my cultural heritage and background, but I was attempting to be more Australian, and descriptive in my terminology sans actually knowing the name.

Oh and there is a facebook group for these vans too:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=4268888598

I thought it was a pretty good description. I don’t think it is a negative calling it greasy. They aim for the after-pub crowd and lets face it, if there is a time I want greasy food, its when I’m pissed. I love the Canberra food vans!

@M – if you’re going to give food reviews, could you at least be fair to both parties?

People will remember the words “greasy food van” which you have so daringly put in the title, … they won’t remember the 10/10/10 score you’ve given, but I know you luuurve to create an impact with your post titles …

Unfair food critics? 1/1/1

skaboy – make it home and you’re a bloody champ

Ill hedge my bets that cop cars can not fit down back alleyways and dark bike pathes, of which there are many in my locale.

Granted its been 15 years since I have evaded authority in this manner, given the chance dunno how good I would go….

I would prefer drink riding than drink driving – at least I could only go max 40kmh when drunk riding, and can avoid roads.

you’re

Danman said :

H1NGO I think there is a picture of you in another thread ya galah 😛

Seriously though… G-spot is definetly drunken goodliness – and drunken bike riding distance from my house. Yet to try that though…..

Try the double dog wrap….

As a friend of mine found out, you can get done DUI on a pushie, so don’t drink and ride or your a bloody idiot.

H1NGO I think there is a picture of you in another thread ya galah 😛

Seriously though… G-spot is definetly drunken goodliness – and drunken bike riding distance from my house. Yet to try that though…..

Try the double dog wrap….

Danman said :

What is the move to teh current trend with people quoting entire posts and then saying yep I agree

Why not just say post # x or @ Riotacter X I agree with you ?

Now dont be cheeky and post this entire post and say I agree :P~

I agr….oh shit. OK Point taken Danman

What is the move to teh current trend with people quoting entire posts and then saying yep I agree

Why not just say post # x or @ Riotacter X I agree with you ?

Now dont be cheeky and post this entire post and say I agree :P~

But does it have beetroot?

FB said :

I have been told about Cafe MoMo in Bruce numerous times, none good, but I decided to brave it.

[Ed. (Jazz) – edited so that you dont have to read the entire post again]

Yep. Cafe Momo sucks balls.

tap said :

I ate a crazy bastard the other day from the G-Spot the other day, two patties of meat, double bacon, two eggs.

My heart seized with pleasure.

That wasn’t pleasure seizing your heart, tap, it was your arteries hardening.

😛

Andrew Dale who owns the G-Spot also runs a restaurant in one of the clubs in town and a catering business. The food at the G-Spot has always been exceptional and is far more gourmet in nature than any other food vans around. Which other food van offers garlic prawns?

Mælinar, as a burger connoisseur I appreciate your review so I will offer one of mine!

I recently had the displeasure of being in Bruce at lunch time when the burger need struck. We all know that when the need strikes you can not deny the body its burger.

I have been told about Cafe MoMo in Bruce numerous times, none good, but I decided to brave it. The Cafe was quite busy and the sandwich bar and seating area seemed quite pleasing. The take away area was a little on the down side. I ordered a burger with the lot only to find that the meat pattie, bacon & worse, egg, are all pre cooked and sitting in the bain-marie! There is nothing and I repeat nothing worse than rubberised pre cooked egg. I was truly shocked that an establishment could openly get away with that. What’s so hard about cooking it fresh? It only takes a few minutes! Another gentleman had ordered a burger just before me. They had just made his burger including the egg when a fresh batch of fried eggs arrived, the staff just piled the fresh stuff on top of the old ones, not that I’m complaining because I got fresh egg but why wouldn’t they put the older stuff on top? It makes me wonder how many cycles of fresh eggs do the ones on the bottom stay for?

The staff seemed OK but were not very engaging, at first glance it seemed quite clean. The staff all wore a latex glove on one hand but they didn’t take it off when exchanging the money, which I find disgusting. Money is the filthiest thing ever yet they handle it with the same hand they make the food with YECH!

The burger itself was surprisingly quite tasty, the pattie was thick and nicely spiced. The egg, being a fresh one was good and the bacon was thickly cut. The other odd thing I noticed was that it was backwards! Not that it’s a big thing but because all the ingredients were pre cooked they put the pattie on the bottom with the bacon, onion, egg & salad in that order.

The scores out of 10

Burger as a whole 7
Pattie 8
Flavour 8
Size 7
Cost 5*
Staff 5
Cleanliness 5#

* The price was a reasonable $6.50 but for the quality of the burger I don’t consider it fair.

# If the staff removed or changed the glove when handling money the score would be a lot higher.

In summery, the burger was quite tasty and reasonable priced but the fact that it was not fresh was the real let down. Would I eat it again? Only If I was very hungry.

Over all score 6.5

They have a website somewhere with their menu listed. What a site it is! I’m not going to search for the webiste at work due to the name, but I have never seen so much heart-attack, artery clogging food in all my life. I only live around the corner. I should give it a go one night.

Good work Mael

Deep fried mars bars in a flour tortilla…. mmm

@ Canberra Cafe dot com – feel free to rip my food review posts with appropriate references, but I’m more interested in persuading the admins of this site to add ‘food’ to the category list again.

[Ed. (Jazz) – Aren’t bugers a lifestyle choice?]

Have the G-spot changed ownership? Because when I was there in November, the burger was that weird meat-jelly stuff they use in cheap sausage rolls – kind of like seafood extender, but brown.

On the other hand, the one near Corinna Chambers in Woden do proper burgers that actually have a meat texture.

I’ve had both on many occasions. I have to say it’s the G Spot. The temptation of a deep fried mars bar is just too good. The G Spot burgers are bigger in my opinion anyway.

I ate a crazy bastard the other day from the G-Spot the other day, two patties of meat, double bacon, two eggs.

My heart seized with pleasure.

We have a ‘eating out’ section in the Canberra Cafe website – feel free to join up and start posting reviews if you like.

If they used proper bread buns nowadays, and not those things that crumble to bits in yer mitts, you’d have clean (ish) hands. I’m still very happy with the Alpine Hotel hamburger I had in Cooma a while back. Bloody impressive. The one with the lot (called the Alpine Burger) was scary-looking and I’m glad I didn’t have that.

Checkers – Belconnen Labor Club.