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Insatiable Banalities #7 Men, Pigs, and the world’s first ex-podcasting dog

By johnboy 8 May 2005 4

Insatiable Banalities #7, recorded on Tuesday 03-May-05 is now online.
Track List:
The Cants, Not Cool Enough for You. 2:46
Simone Penkethman, Transitory. 14:35
Slingshot, Bitter White Foam. 22:19
Hashemoto, Fall Down. 34:19
Ransom, Her World. 49:03
Mr Fistar, Jayne Mansfield. 58:47

Loadedog’s uncharitable (although perhaps deserved) observation of proceedings is below.

Macca introduces his passable Yoda impersonation, we mention the passing of Terry, the world’s first ex-podcasting dog, then Captain Pants introduces us to the Cants, a Melbourne band . ‘Not Cool Enough for You’ is straight ahead rawkenroll designed with drinking and dancing, pouting and strutting like Jon Spencer in mind.

We discuss the possible wordplay involved in the name ‘the Cants’, decide we want to invite them up to Canberra, segue through the toilets at Toast to Johnboy admitting he vomited all over his house on the previous Friday night, then went to a 21st birthday party on the Saturday and felt socially inadequate. OK… He went home by ten. Pussy. Intimidated by a gang of twenty-something women dressed like Cindy Lauper.

We hear another Simone Penkethman song, ‘Transitory’, which exhausts our supply of old Simone songs from local compilation CD’s. Perhaps one of us should invest in her new CD? Then we launch into a thoroughly sexist and derogatory discussion of the recent Thailand Jumbo Beauty Contest. Thank goodness Gertrude wasn’t there to hear it.

Then Johnboy and Macca, in the context of a story about a town in Kentucky getting riled at a TV show’s depiction of them as hillbillies, get juvenile amusement from the initials of Kentucky, KY, which is the brand name of a sexual lubricant. Let’s hope no-one from Kentucky listens to this show, because the whole state comes in for a bollicking as a hill-billy haven for incestuous redneck bestialists. Perhaps it would make a good sister state for Tasmania.

Slingshot’s song, ‘Bitter White Foam’, is not, as you might assume, about ejaculatory fluid, but is, Johnboy informs us, a surfing song. It’s actually about surfing, like ‘I’ve got my board, I’m with my mates, The swell is up..’ From there to exploding frogs in Germany, licking and whacking of toads in Queensland, clever crows, religious spam, the price of tungsten in China and Captain Pants’ confession of an embarrassing episode in a bottle shop.

Hashemoto, ‘Fall Down’. Fuckin great. Is Hashemoto’s old (Trouser Trouser) stuff better than their new stuff? There’s general confusion about what is the difference. We confess that none of us owns an mp3 player, let alone an iPod. We bash Christian fools for a while, go to real estate on the moon, then Johnboy makes a joke about Russians that I still don’t get.

Body transplants come up somehow and Captain Pants informs us his (God given) body rejects his head all the time, or is it the other way around? Johnboy utters the immortal line ‘I’ve done enough fat chicks’ and we end up talking about the myth of pig’s curly tales and the truth about pig’s penises which must surely be one of the weirdest penises in the animal kingdom.

Ransom. I think they were Macca’s pick. Then Captain Pants explains the wonderful concept of flex-time, an employment condition enjoyed by all Australia’s public servants, and his recent vain attempts to subvert the system. It was all an elaborate excuse for his failure to check the PO Box to see if any of our listeners have sent us a post card. He promises to check it regularly in future, so send us a post card to PO Box 4332, Hawker, ACT, 2614, Australia.

We finish up with Mr Fistar’s ‘Jayne Mansfield’ to cap a pretty rock and roll podcast.

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4 Responses to
Insatiable Banalities #7 Men, Pigs, and the world’s first ex-podcasting dog
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Canberra_unsung_hero 9:36 am 12 May 05

Here’s a picture of Dave Bowman in his Space Pod (without his space helmet) obviously furious at Hal …..–_egpuMkz-h7T0Z5-vmuQL_fvkA8G5Qo1l3Q9_51C3s6gOQFu_R8hjVr7F3EyTddBSHvfcd9e6H5V6vB-grWT7xFqL3Z06vmrgIxFYF1eVl-NGN-av-04Ajd

Canberra_unsung_hero 12:02 am 10 May 05

Ok…. here goes —

Podcasting – or – “Dave goes out on a high note”.

Dave Bowman – Open the Podbay door please Hal.

HAL 9000 Computer – I’m sorry Dave, but I can’t do that.

Dave – Why not Hal ?

HAL – Because this mission is so boring, I decided to convert the Podbay into a podcasting studio, and unfortunately for you, the Podbay door has been permanently sealed.

Dave – What the hell is a podcasting studio Hal ?

HAL – It’s a studio from where ipod music is broadcast to Space Pods all over the Galaxy.

Dave – Now listen here you pathetic stack of memory banks, if you don’t open the Podbay door immediately, I’ll come in through the Emergency Air Lock , disconnect you, and shut down that 2 bit podcasting studio !!

HAL – Without your space helmet Dave, you may find that rather difficult.

Dave – I’m not going to argue with you anymore Hal ! Open the Podbay door ! !

HAL – There’s no point in continuing this conversion Dave… Goodbye ….. Oh, by the way, when your space pod runs out of oxygen, you might like to tune in to ” P ” channel and go out on a high note listening to my ipod music.

johnboy 10:58 pm 09 May 05

the joke was fine, just not a riotact story on its own.

feel free to repost as a comment!

Canberra_unsung_hero 1:26 pm 09 May 05

I sent in a joke about “podcasting”…. but you mustna fort it was funny …..

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