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Police need a heart and are there any good doctors open on Good Friday?

nyssa76 21 March 2008 69

We all know (well the older RA’s do) that I am not a fan of the police.

A victim of domestic violence (close to me) was asked “Are you happy now?” with the fact that her husband, who had assaulted her, was going to the watch house.

This woman was thrown around the room and has bruises on her chest and back as well as stiffness in her neck and shoulders.

“There are conflicting stories” – she was told. “He’ll sign an undertaking to stay away from you but we won’t remove him from the house. If he breaches the undertaking (by coming near you) he will be arrested.” (Children are in the house btw)

Hubby breaches it within 20-30 mins and throws a bottle at her to boot.

“You brought us out for this?” and “We’re not here to sort out your childish problems”.

Yes, ACT Policing at it’s finest.

Now, does anyone know of a good doctor that is open Good Friday to have her injuries recorded? It seems that only medical evidence can persuade the copper to take it seriously.

I expect flamage, but I don’t care. She needed help and was treated like crap. It’s unacceptable.

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69 Responses to Police need a heart and are there any good doctors open on Good Friday?
TBA TBA 12:28 pm 25 Mar 08

Without the facts on this incident I don’t think anyone can comment on the Police actions or the truthfulness of the story. Domestic Violence isn’t as simple as people think.

Well done, enough said.

realityskin realityskin 9:29 am 25 Mar 08

surely spike is too weedy to do too much damage !?

vandam vandam 3:17 pm 24 Mar 08

In actual fact – DV offenders are held in custody until they face court ( either after the paperwork has been processed or the next morning).

And in most DV’s, the lead up is often the Police trying to arrange for the parties to seperate. No Violence = No offence, but if both parties don’t want to leave, then that leave’s Police with a problem in securing each other’s safety. Every DV incident is reported to DVCS with them attending the incident on most occasions.

Normally this whole process of negotiation with the parties takes about 1 hour at best and can be extremely frustrating for Police. Eventually and agreement is made and Police are happy to leave. Once they leave it is out of Police hands as to what both parties do. 30mins later they called back, obviously this time someone has to be arrested.

Further you will find that Police attend the same addresses numerous times, only to be dealing with the same problem week in week out. Police attempt to provide support to the victim, however they keep going back to their abbusive partner.


There is absolutely no excuse for Domestic Violence, however 90% of the time both parties are to blame for the violence in the first place. If only people acknowledged they had problems and sought professional help before it getting out of hand.
Without the facts on this incident I don’t think anyone can comment on the Police actions or the truthfulness of the story. Domestic Violence isn’t as simple as people think.

I-filed I-filed 10:59 pm 23 Mar 08

Nyssa, do not stay in any sort of contact with this partner. If the police are unsympathetic, it probably means you are displaying the sort of symptoms that really frustrate the police – partners who stay with a violent ma, can’t listen to reason, and put themselves serially at risk.
Remove yourself to permanent safety, have a good look at whatever the issues are that prevent you from functioning well, work on addressing those, and leave your partner – permanently – to sort himself out. Do not expect a reunion down the track.
Most of all, try not to respond in an ashamed way. Get counselling, but don’t hang out with the sort of support group that perpetuates misery.

gladbag gladbag 9:42 pm 23 Mar 08

Nyssa76 – You need to get legal council and an AVO. There are two sets of loved ones you do not negotiate with, druggies and dv cases, they need to sort themselves out first (seriously long process). @thecman, I don’t know much about Nyssa76’s case, however, have heard previously that the advice is not to leave the house if possible, as the person left seems to be in an more positive position to take possession, however, should she or the kids be in danger, there are safe places she could phone and people will come and load herself and the children into a car and take her somewhere. As mentioned previously, legal council should be able to give her those numbers.

DJ DJ 6:32 pm 23 Mar 08

Damnintellectuals – I am not discarding the DV issue at all, in fact I have very strong views relating to DV that are mirrored by many on this forum. Don’t forget that not all DV is the traditional husband beats wife scenario – I AM NOT SUGGESTION NYSSA76 FITS INTO THIS CATEGORY. We simply just don’t know and are speculating based on the poor account provided by Nyssa76.

I don’t fully believe the account provided and from how she portrays herself in this and other instances I think she needs help on several fronts. In short I believe that she has an ulterior motive behind her posting.

“Why shouldn’t a person voice a concern on RA”… isn’t this going before the Courts? Is this another case of finding somebody guilty before the trial based on one side of the incident? What do you think the Courts will ask her that I didn’t?

Jemmy – Why would a magistrate not grant access to medical records in this case? There is an allegation that physical injuries were inflicted and if a doctor examined the person this would corroborate to a certain extent their story. Even better, why would the victim not sign a release for the medical records to assist the investigation? Perhaps this is where the “conflicting stories” mentioned by Nyssa76 come up?

bigred bigred 6:27 pm 23 Mar 08

I hope this story isn’t accurate because I thought the AFP had actually turned it around of late. Gee they were even booking cars parked illegally in disabled spots in Dickson the other night.

freddie281 freddie281 6:13 pm 23 Mar 08

Thecman, you are spot on. I could not have worded your comments better.

thecman thecman 12:01 pm 23 Mar 08

Nyssa’s story just isn’t realistic but it is consistent with her long-held, anti-Police attitudes. As a previous comment noted – it would not have mattered what the Police did or did not do they were always going to be wrong as far as Nyssa was concerned. I wonder how long the domestic violence situation has been developing in Nyssa’s life – my experience is that these things rarely (if ever) suddenly appear, inevitably there is a long period of emotional abuse leading up to a violent incident such as the one claimed by Nyssa. None of this excuses domestic violence assault of any kind, but surely we all bear the primary responsibility for our own safety and well being. Police cannot solve domestic problems that have taken months / years to develop except in the most immediate respect – by arresting offenders if there is sufficient evidence to do so and placing them before the Court.

Putting aside the ideological, anti or pro-Police aspects of the comments on this thread it appears to me, on the few ‘facts’ available that:

Police attended a DV incident at Nyssa’s place, warned both her and the partner that if they were called back someone would be locked up and probably told them both to stop behaving like children. I have absolutely no doubt Nyssa was advised repeatedly to take the kids and leave the house for the night. The partner would also have been advised to leave – the obvious aim being to get one of the warring parties away from the house to give the situation time to cool down. Both parties obviously ignored this advice. Police leave but then have to return when the DV situation blew up again. This time the partner is arrested – again the Police probably did make a comment to Nyssa along the lines of, “are you happy now”? Nyssa may have been assaulted but really, doesn’t she bear at least some responsibility for how this situation panned out? Still can’t see how any of this is the Police fault.

As far as the partner getting locked up and then returning several hours later – not the Police fault. In this country we rarely lock people up indefinitely for even the most serious of offences. Most likely the partner requested and received bail and therefore was released – hard to see how that was the cops fault. Nyssa deserves our sympathy and support as would any victim but let’s remember that in all likelihood her version of events is biased, coloured by her self-confessed dislike of Police and ignores her own role in becoming a victim in the first place.

jessieduck jessieduck 11:14 am 23 Mar 08

I am shocked at the venom directed at Nyssa76 by some of the posts but I can’t help but wonder why posting on the riotact was high on her “things to do list”… I just don’t get the point of it all. Yes, police sound like they were pretty horrid but this post probably would have been more sympathetic had she written it saying “in the end I have gotten the medical attention I needed, moved out and the kids and I are safe etc”.

le sigh- I hope she is OK.

ant ant 10:39 am 23 Mar 08

Some of the vitriol written by some people on this site is amazing. And my point about ‘newbies’ was, new members of any forum who wade in with very strong attitudes about certain things are generally viewed with some suspicion. They are often either old members with new names, or have entered the forum to participate in a particular topic, but without declaring their special interest.

I also do not understand the apparent anger of some participants towards others. If you don’t like someone’s opinion, argue the facts, but argue doesn’t mean fight, or insult, or attack. And labelling someone a liar becuase you don’t like what they’ve written is not on. If you have other facts to refute what they’ve said, then state them. but suggesting that someone is making stuff up, when you’ve got no more reason other than you don’t like what they’ve said, is poor.

The laws against violence are coded in line with our community’s attitudes towards it. When a person beats up someone in their own home, we expect the police to remove the person doing the beating. There is a raft of measures the police can use to control the actions of the beater, and we expect them to employ them so the beaten person is not beaten again.

The beaten person should not be insulted by teh police, and the beater should certainly not be in a position to return and resume their activities. I’m very sorry to learn that this is still happening in our community, in 2008. For a woman to be bounced off the walls in her own house, and to be subject to censurious comments from the police, and for the attacker to be able to return and apparently start up again, is indefensible, no matter how much you like the police.

CanberraResident CanberraResident 10:35 am 23 Mar 08

you you = use
(need my coffee)

I don’t expect a response from Nyssa76.

CanberraResident CanberraResident 10:32 am 23 Mar 08

Nyssa76. Domestic Violence is nothing to be ashamed of. Had you admitted that this “friend” was in fact yourself in the first place, I doubt you would have received a 55 post response, most of which was not favourable (including my own response).

You chose to tell your story to RiotACT, but …

Did you seek counselling?
Did you call DVCS?
Did you speak to SupportLink ?) (the police DV support people?
Did you call a family member?
Did you end up going to a doctor that had been recommended to you by RiotACT users or did you you your own 31-32 year old common sense?
Did you have it documented?
Did you take photos for evidence?

I would really like to know what other avenues you have taken. Please do tell us, now that your computer is fixed.

Thumper Thumper 10:06 am 23 Mar 08

There is simply no excuse for domestic violence whatsoever.

All the best Nyss.

Special G Special G 9:12 am 23 Mar 08

Figured the friend was fictional. Sounds like hubby was locked up. Did you provide a formal statement? What more do you want. Go get a protection order. As I said in my previous post people have to take appropriate measures to protect their own safety.

If the police in question behaved in a manner that was not acceptable then there are enough checks, that this would be picked up and appropriate action taken. There are plenty of avenues to complaint – any police officer, professional standards, Commonwealth Ombudsman, local minister.

If Nyssa simply was as obnoxious as she is here towards, well pretty much everything, then I’m not surprised some copper might have told her so.

Nyssa aside, there is no call for Domestic violence ever and people who partake in it should be locked up.

jemmy jemmy 7:09 am 23 Mar 08

Of course the police don’t have access to the medical records DJ. Why do you think they would? If they want to see the record, it’s off to get a subpoena they go, and I suspect most if not all magistrates would have a long, hard look at their request first.

damnintellectuals damnintellectuals 4:14 am 23 Mar 08

DJ said :

Answer this: What were you trying to gain by using the RA forum? Sympathy?

The obvious answer, DJ, is that Nyssa wanted to voice a concern to the greater Canberra public. Your assumptive insinuations have less weight than Nyssa’s assertions because your tact is one of spurning discourse. Why shouldn’t a person voice a concern on RA, especially regarding a public service that all Canberrans pay for?

Saying that, I’ve read plenty of Nyssa’s education posts and I find them repulsive. Still, I don’t think that disqualifies this DV post outright, like DJ has done.

hutch hutch 12:38 am 23 Mar 08

Intresting how everyone now takes this to be proven fact… does anyone know nyssa76?

Also, when people are emotionally involved in disputes, facts may get distorted. Human nature! Think about your last relationship breakup and all you’re friends telling you to break up and you being stubborn… love is blind, or rather emotions can make you blind!

At the end of the day, here at the RIOT we will probably never know what really happened.

To nyssa76, I wish you the best – but ask this, what’s worse for your kids: going to the media and trying to fix your situation or having you’re kids live with DV? Having lived in a DV house for my younger childhood – I know that sweeping it under the carpet isn’t the solution. Seek DVCS or other organisations help – even a Centrelink Social Worker!

For everyone else some interesting reading

Like I have mentioned before I have never had any issues with the Police involving DV on either a professional or personal level – they have always dealt with matters professionally and lets face it, DV in the family home can’t be an easy thing to investigate or a pleasant environment to be in!

I think people need to realise how lucky we are in OZ. Sure our cops can improve – like we all can, but compared to other places in the world I count myself really lucky to have relatively helpful and friendly cops compared to some foreign nations.

DJ DJ 12:12 am 23 Mar 08

I maintain that despite this revelation you are still a fool. Foot is firmly out of mouth and no twang of conscious felt.

Answer this: What were you trying to gain by using the RA forum? Sympathy?

I bet you had an attitude like you display here when you dealt with Police. I bet you’ve never been wrong in your life.

Perhaps you didn’t come across as a credible/ honest person or there were other factors that you haven’t considered? Why jump on RA and use the pathetic “friend” story. I bet that there is nothing that Police could have said or done that would have satisfied you.

It looks like you would rather voice your story through RA than actually get medical or professional attention. Do you know of any hospital that doesn’t keep records of persons examined? Did you think that the Police wouldn’t have access to the records? Is there a conspiracy between medical services and the Police that might have sunk your story?

“The silence from me in the past 24hrs was that I had to put together my computer” – How did you post the first story?

“My cousin works for the CT, but I don’t want my children to cop shit for it.” – So what? Just what do you think the CT will do?

“I had tried to keep myself out of the situation…” – No you didn’t.

I can only hope that you are ok and can share with us more stories of your “friend” in the future.

Deadmandrinking Deadmandrinking 10:28 pm 22 Mar 08

That is awful. I was going to comment based on the fact that she heard it from a friend, but now I hardly think she’d be making it up.

If Nyssa reads this, then I say she should complain everywhere she possibly can to bring this disgusting behavior by those ‘policemen’ to light. Cops may see a lot of sh-t on the line of duty, but none of that can justify vilifying a victim of domestic abuse. There’s not so many things worse than being unable to have physical safety in your own home.

I hope those cops get a hiding from above or better, lose their badge for that behavior. We may need more cops on the streets, but we don’t need thugs or people who praise them.

Also, I’m under the impression from experiences I won’t care to discuss that a shared property usually goes to the victim in the case of a separation due to violence. I hope this is still the case. No-one should be kicked out of their home because their partner beat them, ever.

Good luck, Nyssa.

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