Skip to content Skip to main navigation

Lifestyle

Part of the Canberra community
for over 30 years

Tinder… and two degrees of separation

By Samara Gentle - 7 November 2014 11

6-degrees-of-seperation-stock

There is the theory that within the world we have only 6 degrees of separation between us and anyone else – in Canberra it feels like 2. We are a small capital city where by it seems everyone is connected by a friend, uncle, sister, colleague..

I’m not a born and bread Canberran, but I’ve been here long enough to realize that you should always be careful what you say or who you talk about, because someone who knows someone who knows someone is listening.

2 degrees of separation that makes Canberra feel connected, that you don’t just know ‘of’ someone, you feel like you know them because that’s a friend of so-and-so’s sister.

Add into the mix an online dating app that almost every single person in Canberra is on and you’re bound to get into some interesting conversations.

I have two friends who are on Tinder, both beautiful brunettes who are trying their hand at online dating. One has been on Tinder for a few months, the other only just recently joined. As friends do they talk about it, talk about the potential prospects and help decipher ‘what does that sentence MEAN?’

No surprises that they’ve both been matched with a few of the same people. No big deal, when you’re using an app like Tinder you should immediately assume the person you’re talking to is likely to be matching and talking to a lot of other people – that’s the whole point of it.

It gets interesting when a guy their both talking to makes a flat out lie ‘Oh, I’m only talking to you’.

I know, shock horror. Not everyone who engages with online dating is an honest person. I expect there to be liars and cat fishers, however when you live in Canberra it seems like a slightly stupid thing to do, because in the end it always comes out.

Canberra is so small and so well connected that it’s not worth it. It’s not worth lying about something you so simply shouldn’t be lying about.

I’m sure this happens on the mans side as well, a few friends might find their matched to a few of the same women – I’d like to know what happens in that situation. Does it become competitive? Do you get upset knowing she’s talking to your friends as well as you? Do you compare what she says for truths?

Any men that have been through something similar – please, share with me! I want to know what you do, do you treat the situation the same as my friends did? Did you block the person immediately or call them out on it?

What’s Your opinion?


Post a comment
Please login to post your comments, or connect with
11 Responses to
Tinder… and two degrees of separation
JimCharles 4:04 pm 16 Nov 14

gooterz said :

About 90% of the ladies on tinder are in relationships. And are just using it to see how attractive they are to the other sex

My boss is on it, and she’s single. Thus I am no longer on it :-). 1 degree of separation is enough in a small town.

Maya123 11:18 am 09 Nov 14

gooterz said :

About 90% of the ladies on tinder are in relationships. And are just using it to see how attractive they are to the other sex

And I see that you have surveyed them.

Masquara 6:16 pm 08 Nov 14

Does photoshopping one’s promo portrait count as dishonesty in this context?

gooterz 11:30 am 08 Nov 14

About 90% of the ladies on tinder are in relationships. And are just using it to see how attractive they are to the other sex

chewy14 11:07 am 08 Nov 14

Oh how cute, you think Tinder is a dating app? LOL.

dkNigs 9:10 am 08 Nov 14

Oh no, a guy on an anonymous dating app based on swiping left or right told two girls he’s only talking to them? Shock horror.

Has he told them both he’s only sleeping with them? That could be different, but why would he sabotage himself in chat when he doesn’t even know if someone is interested in meeting with him yet? Do your friends join twitter, start one conversation, then block everyone else?

Samara Gentle 8:56 am 08 Nov 14

curmudgery said :

Let me get this straight.

You’ve got two female friends who are using a dating app (OMG!) and they’ve both been linked up to a particular male.

They compare notes and decide to ask him if he’s talking to any other female knowing full well that he is and, further, that it is probable and reasonable that he would be.

Now, what’s he to do?

If he says No, he knows he’s telling a lie and he’d rather not – that’ not a good start to any relationship.
But if he says Yes, he knows that the female is likely to crack a wobbly of some kind, act hurt and abused, give him the flick and bad mouth him all over Canberra with its two degrees of separation.

And if she’s at all unsure if she should do that, her girlfriend will push her ’till she does – or do it for her.

So, on balance, which is the lesser of the two evils that must come about from the trap that your insecure little friends have set?

Trap? Slightly hilarious with all the assumptions in your comment. While you seem to have the attitude that every female is conspiring against this poor defenceless male on Tinder, I think you’ve slightly missed the point of the article 🙂

HenryBG 8:09 am 08 Nov 14

Tinder? That’s that app you use when you want to get thrown off a balcony, right?

thatsnotme 11:24 pm 07 Nov 14

Why does this stuff have to be so hard?

If you find that someone’s not being honest and it bothers you, then move on. If you’re ok with it, then see how things go.

So much drama and angst here. I’ll let you in on a secret – there are only two degrees of separation in Canberra when you don’t bother to spread yourself beyond your immediate friends and acquaintances. In a city with over 350,000 people, the idea that ‘everyone is connected’ is frankly ridiculous.

curmudgery 5:51 pm 07 Nov 14

Let me get this straight.

You’ve got two female friends who are using a dating app (OMG!) and they’ve both been linked up to a particular male.

They compare notes and decide to ask him if he’s talking to any other female knowing full well that he is and, further, that it is probable and reasonable that he would be.

Now, what’s he to do?

If he says No, he knows he’s telling a lie and he’d rather not – that’ not a good start to any relationship.
But if he says Yes, he knows that the female is likely to crack a wobbly of some kind, act hurt and abused, give him the flick and bad mouth him all over Canberra with its two degrees of separation.

And if she’s at all unsure if she should do that, her girlfriend will push her ’till she does – or do it for her.

So, on balance, which is the lesser of the two evils that must come about from the trap that your insecure little friends have set?

kumadude 5:48 pm 07 Nov 14

Fear and loathing in Captains Flat.

Related Articles

CBR Tweets

Sign up to our newsletter

Top
Copyright © 2017 Riot ACT Holdings Pty Ltd. All rights reserved.
www.the-riotact.com | www.b2bmagazine.com.au | www.thisiscanberra.com

Search across the site