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Psyched out on the bus

By Madam Cholet - 24 April 2012 55

I had to share the experience I had on the bus this morning….it’s a first world type of problem and I seek your forgiveness in advance for even bringing it up.

There I was, on the number 111 on my way to work. Just approaching Woden town centre, about two or three stops away when we stopped to pick up some more passengers. Minding my own business, sitting close to the back door in a normal forward facing seat – not one of the extra room seats. Not paying much attention as to who got on but seconds later was alerted to someone standing right infront of me….seemed a bit odd as I wasn’t aware of the bus being so full, so I looked up to meet the eyes of my newest travelling companion.

This is were it got weirder. My new travelling companion, (a youngish looking & decently dressed woman, obviously on her way to work), just stared at me….no problem, thought I, and I moved my gaze down again and promptly notice that she was pregnant. Looked up again into the still unblinking eyes of my newest companion and said “oh, right, ok, you want to sit down…”….no response still. I stood up…still staring, still no response, not a thank you…and moved to stand by the back door. As I stood up I caught the gaze of another passenger who was giving me a “WTF is going on?” sort of look. I gave one back.

Managed to get a seat as the strange pregnant lady got off a few stops later and was told by my new neighbour that it was one of the weirdest things they’d ever seen.

Anyway, after my strange non-verbal confrontation with weird pregnant lady, I just had a quick look at the Action website to see what they say about giving up your seat. It says “we request…” when referring to giving up your seat. I have to say that I was quite miffed at the way that she went about “asking” for the seat, and spent the rest of the journey considering what I could have said to her. I’ve been there and done that pregnancy wise and no one, not one person got up to give me a seat, and you know what, I didn’t mind. I had people climb over me on planes and experienced security officers watch me haul heavy baggage onto their table for checking when going through airports. Not to say that they were right, and not to say that I should not have given up my seat today – which I always do if I see someone who is more in need than I.

But what’s the etiquette? Is it right to stare somone out so they are psyched out enough to move? Should you be allowed to target which seat you want, and BTW there were some of the folding seats available nearer the front of the bus.

What’s Your opinion?


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55 Responses to
Psyched out on the bus
1
Kurva 7:36 pm
24 Apr 12
#

You actually got up and gave her the chair? You should have shoved her sense of self-entitlement right back in her face and totally ignored the idiot. I am appalled that you didn’t have the balls to sternly ask her what she wanted.

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2
screaming banshee 7:36 pm
24 Apr 12
#

My wife never had anyone give up a seat for her when with child. Re psycho lady, my two year old doesn’t get what he wants by pointing or staring at something he has to ask. If someone notices and willingly gives up a seat fair enough, otherwise if she doesn’t ask she doesn’t get.

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3
arescarti42 7:49 pm
24 Apr 12
#

I believe the accepted thing to do is to give up your seat to the elderly, pregnant, disabled, etc. if there are no free seats left. Simply staring at someone seems rude and aggressive to me, and if there were other free seats around I would’ve continued ignoring her.

Incidentally, if you’re elderly, pregnant, disabled etc. and you want to sit down, and no one has made the offer, then I don’t think that necessarily means that no one wants to. Most people travelling on the bus are probably totally switched off, and just may not have noticed or made the mental connection. I would have thought a polite request to those around would do the trick.

It reminds me of a similar situation I found myself in, on a bus in Kyoto a few years ago. I had managed to get a seat on this packed bus, when this old Japanese woman got on. Not wanting to be the rude foreigner, I got up and offered her my seat, which she refused. I think she may have actually been offended that I thought she was old enough to warrant being offered a seat.

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4
ScienceRules 7:51 pm
24 Apr 12
#

Sounds to me like you were just unlucky scoring a pregnant nut job. Probably a good thing that you gave up your seat though (aside that it’s the right thing to do anyhow) just in case she was a violent pregnant nut job.

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5
HenryBG 7:53 pm
24 Apr 12
#

If a lady is standing, I always give up my seat regardless of whether she is pregnant or not.

I’m not sure the basic rules of polite society have been explained to people under the age of 30, though.

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6
Woody Mann-Caruso 8:04 pm
24 Apr 12
#

Do it because it’s the right thing to do. Not getting a smile or a thank you doesn’t matter if that’s not why you did it in the first place.

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7
maniac 8:20 pm
24 Apr 12
#

It was her choice to be pregnant, so if she is plain rude, then don’t stand up for her. If she was blind/disabled/sick then that is not a choice and those people deserve a seat.

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8
Slumlord 9:16 pm
24 Apr 12
#

ACTION buses and the interchanges attract these sorts. It’s like a circus.

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9
steveu 9:24 pm
24 Apr 12
#

ScienceRules said :

Sounds to me like you were just unlucky scoring a pregnant nut job. Probably a good thing that you gave up your seat though (aside that it’s the right thing to do anyhow) just in case she was a violent pregnant nut job.

Spot on.

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10
arescarti42 9:34 pm
24 Apr 12
#

HenryBG said :

If a lady is standing, I always give up my seat regardless of whether she is pregnant or not.

I’m not sure the basic rules of polite society have been explained to people under the age of 30, though.

I think what you’ve just described might now be considered chauvinistic and sexist.

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11
astrojax 9:41 pm
24 Apr 12
#

it’s nice to be nice, my da always says… you done good in giving up your seat; as others here have pointed out, s’nice to give up your seat for elderly, women, etc irrespective of their vitality. know your reserve of karma is duly replenished, if preggers nutjob’s is depleted – that’s her pigeon…

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12
chewy14 9:57 pm
24 Apr 12
#

HenryBG said :

If a lady is standing, I always give up my seat regardless of whether she is pregnant or not.

I’m not sure the basic rules of polite society have been explained to people under the age of 30, though.

Do that and you’re liable to get abused and given a lecture on sexism and equality.

Polite society disappeared years ago.

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13
Gerry-Built 10:10 pm
24 Apr 12
#

arescarti42 said :

HenryBG said :

If a lady is standing, I always give up my seat regardless of whether she is pregnant or not.

I’m not sure the basic rules of polite society have been explained to people under the age of 30, though.

I think what you’ve just described might now be considered chauvinistic and sexist.

Personally, I think it would be nice to at least offer, though… Although you do risk a response like “arescarti42” highlighted – of course, the appropriate response would be; “I’m sorry, I was raised with manner, unlike you”…

But the scenario outlined in the OP; out-of-the-box weird… I think if someone expects such manners, they need to respond in kind (ie with manners; if that wasn’t clear)…

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14
Gerry-Built 10:13 pm
24 Apr 12
#

chewy14 said :

Polite society disappeared years ago.

That is no reason to give up; actually, more of a reason to hit people in the face with UR kindness :)

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15
p1 10:22 pm
24 Apr 12
#

Some people are just dicks, irrespective of gender or gestational capability.

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