Where are all the ladies?

i have been to tongue and groove and the crowd was really energetic and amazing.
Although i have never been asked about my annual salary so far in my life doing clubbing.
but it becomes an amazing advertisment to someone who is getting the cream packages :p

In the many years of pubbing and clubbing in Canberra, I’ve never been asked what I earn.

But such an enquiry would be nice as it would establish up front the commercial nature of our encounter and I could ask about their hourly rate without fear or care of offending.

Ive found it hard meeting women mainly because of my job working offshore and away overseas all the time. This time I left Canberra start of June and Im still away till end of this month and then back for a few weeks the off again lol. So its hard to come back and every one is going about their lives back home and then I have to sort of fit in each time. Anyway thats just the way it is and just have to get on with it!

watto23 said :

I reckon on around 50% of dates with women from internet dating sites, I’ve been asked, what level am I. Often when I saw i’m not public service they have asked something like, oh what do you do and then the conversation has been oh so is that worth more than ….

I’ve found a women who is from Melbourne and not been indoctrinated into the Canberra PS culture. She never asked me about my pay, she asked me about my family and interests and vice versa. Took me 39 years though and hoping this relationship will last, so far so good after a couple of months.

I think people in general, both men and women in Canberra, need to judge less on superficial things and actually go on a date or two and get to know someone.

I’ve also asked the same thing on dates and had the same thing asked of me, however it’s more because it’s a common interest if you both work in the public service. It’s easy to talk about different Departments and ask what it’s like working there etc and provides some fodder for conversation.

I find it’s not just something asked on dates but lots of Canberrans use it as a talking point.

I reckon on around 50% of dates with women from internet dating sites, I’ve been asked, what level am I. Often when I saw i’m not public service they have asked something like, oh what do you do and then the conversation has been oh so is that worth more than ….

I’ve found a women who is from Melbourne and not been indoctrinated into the Canberra PS culture. She never asked me about my pay, she asked me about my family and interests and vice versa. Took me 39 years though and hoping this relationship will last, so far so good after a couple of months.

I think people in general, both men and women in Canberra, need to judge less on superficial things and actually go on a date or two and get to know someone.

As a single woman I have to say that meeting men in clubs and pubs has been out for me for a long time. Too scary.

I think we all get into our own ruts – work, home, maybe a dinner at a mates place. Repeat. And then we wonder why we aren’t meeting possible partners.

Guys – you aren’t going to meet many women if all you do is work and go to the football.

Girls – same for you. Not many blokes in the fashion precinct at the Canberra centre

I apologise for the stereotypes but I hope you kind of get my point. Anyone seriously looking for new friends and a possible partner needs to take the risk and do something different. Try learning something new, a community group or volunteering.

For what it’s worth though, I second the Meet-up groups. There seems to be something for everyone and based around socialising and hobbies rather than ‘hooking up’.

“Just because you may not hit it off with a woman doesn’t mean it has anything to do with the above. ”

At the same time many guys out there want to find the right girl but have to deal with the fact that many out there only want his money. It works both ways.

I know many guy friends that just haven’t been able to find a lady to have a long term relationship with.
Canberra people are in one of three camps.

First are those that find someone in school and marry them young and have kids.
Second are those that have many many relationships or sleeping around. Likely end up with a child and single. Usually are the clubbers.
Those that never really date and eventually find someone like them they finally get married really late in life.

Approaching woman in a bar isn’t terrifying its just a waste of time.

Wellington Sludge said :

As a response to the second paragraph – I too am wary of going to generalisations, but I would have to say, from personal experience through one of the major online dating sites, as well as talking to some single female friends that are slightly older than me, that the “annual salary” thing is actually more common than I remember in the last capital city I lived in.

Seriously??? I can’t imagine anyone being so rude.

As a response to the second paragraph – I too am wary of going to generalisations, but I would have to say, from personal experience through one of the major online dating sites, as well as talking to some single female friends that are slightly older than me, that the “annual salary” thing is actually more common than I remember in the last capital city I lived in. Maybe that’s because I’m older, or maybe that’s because people in the last city were less upfront in what they wanted. I’m just saying that it isn’t necessarily bad form or misogynistic to make that point (although I can imagine many blokes saying it in a very misogynistic manner….). I’m sure the average single Canberra bloke has issues as well…