After a decade trying, Marky finally won Canberra's best beard (probably by a whisker)

“Canberra’s best beard presents …”

It’s how Marky Worthington will introduce all of his stand-up comedy shows over the next 12 months.

Marky has been entering the annual Beard Competition at the King O’Malley’s Irish Pub in Civic for the past 10 years, and this year his dream came true – he took out the big prize.

His glorious ginger mane won the ‘best beard’ category, a title it will hold until next year’s competition, when Marky hopes to cross the table and join the judging panel.

The award came at the perfect time.

“I first started growing my beard 10 years ago this year,” he says.

“They call it a ‘beardversary’, so my beardversary is September, so the competition is within the same month too.”

The facial turf started with a goatee in 2014, until he asked his Tinder date what she thought of beards, and she replied, “I hate them”.

“So I shaved it completely off – clean shaven – but then she ended up standing me up on our next date. I vowed never to shave again.”

His next date happened to like beards, and the one after that became his wife – the first relationship he’s entered into where the other party “doesn’t care whether I have a beard or not, but she does like it”.

“The funny thing is, the beard has been my longest relationship I’ve ever had.”

It was eight months into his beard growth that he heard about King O’Malley’s Beard Competition for the first time, when the year’s theme was ‘Ned Kelly’, with an award for the best costume.

“I was just passing by the pub and saw the signs and was like, ‘Hey, my family’s been calling me Ned since I started growing the beard; I may as well try to get the title’.”

He won and won in another category the following year, and he has always won at least an honourable mention every year ever since. A shelf in his home has become a sort of shrine to King O’Malley, littered with certificates, trophies and plaster busts of the pub’s namesake.

“The blokes I met at that first competition became good mates, and the competition became an annual meet-up for all of us.”

In 2013, they even founded ‘CanBeards’, as the ‘Beard and Moustache Club of Canberra’.

Marky works in IT by day, where he says beards are part and parcel of the job.

“It’s a bit hard to hide who the IT guy is when I’m walking through the office.”

But his side hustle is comedy, and he says the $500 cash he won on the night will be poured into growing this.

“I’ve been doing stand-up comedy in Canberra for seven years come November,” he says.

“I started at Smith’s Alternative in the city, and I now have branched out, and about five years ago, opened my first-ever open mic at the Basement in Belconnen.”

He says audience numbers have exploded since COVID, when people scampered out of their homes after being cooped up for months.

“In the last 12 months, I’ve been able to run a second night at the Basement every first and third Tuesday of the month, and I’ve also opened one at Dear Prudence in the city and Pot Belly in Belconnen.”

The beard does feature in the jokes occasionally, but more as a side note.

“I bring it up every now and again, maybe just as a tag between jokes, but I try to write material that’s relatable to everybody.”

Besides, the beard has a more important role to play elsewhere.

“I’d rather use it as a conversation starter,” he explains.

“The beard competition was also held on RUOK Day, and the amount of dudes who might be introverted and not really know how to talk to someone, sometimes just having a beard helps to start a conversation if there’s another guy with a beard.

“Even if it’s just a compliment … you feel a little better about it.”

Marky is supplied with products by the US-based Mad Viking Beard Co in a collaboration-type arrangement, and they’ve even invited him to attend the World Beard and Moustache Championships in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, in July 2025 as a guest judge.

With that under his belt, he’s keen to attend next year’s competition at King O’Malley’s, this time as a judge.

The King O’Malley’s Beard Competition also includes categories for longest beard, fullest beard, sharpest beard and this year, Antarctic beard and Shackleton beard for “bearded men who have sent their photos all the way from Antarctica, showcasing the resilience and ruggedness of their facial hair in one of the hardest climates on earth”.

The winners of the last two – ‘Rusty’ and ‘Dr Peter’, based at the Davis Station in Antarctica – have been sent engraved winners tankards and bottle of Shackleton’s Whisky to celebrate.