Awkward Noises... What to do when you don't want to listen?

This thread needs a poll on what action should be taken to notify the woman.

breda said :

We may just have a Mully Cup winner before April has even got up to a trot! Extra points for the sound effects.

Maybe JB should notify the winner. . .

MWF said :

colourful sydney racing identity said :

Change your wifi network name to ‘Apartment #x – we can hear you having sex’

This is the solution.

hahaha +2

were you literally sitting at home making a list of the absolute WORST possible ways of dealing with this “problem”? just a list of like 200 things that could help the LEAST amount and posting about it on the riot act was #2 after eating ice cream?

colourful sydney racing identity said :

Change your wifi network name to ‘Apartment #x – we can hear you having sex’

This is the solution.

Ello Vera said :

I don’t get this. If it is an unidentifiable person then surely the photo becomes one of a generic child.

I don’t think so. It is definitely not a “generic child pic”. The child has been photographed in close-up, not incidentally. The child is identifiable as her face is shown, and the exact location and occasion she was photographed at has been specified by the photographer. The photographer probably shouldn’t be treating this as a Wikicommons type image unless it’s his own child, or he has permission from the parents. Some parents mightn’t be sensitive about the juxtaposition – but some might. And if they haven’t been given the opportunity to exercise their judgement about it – it’s wrong to use the photo. IMO.

We may just have a Mully Cup winner before April has even got up to a trot! Extra points for the sound effects.

As a female person who has always enjoyed a roll or several in the hay, I’m inclined to support those who suggest that these are professional, rather than personal, emanations. But then again, it’s a blurry line – perhaps her boyfriend is paying the rent on her flat?

Anyway, you have two choices – earplugs/loud TV/music – or just knock on the door and tell her.

It never ceases to amaze me how often people come on websites to complain about things instead of actually addressing the problem by having a conversation – and how many people respond with ideas to avoid having the conversation.

Passive/aggressive rools OK.

I-filed said :

Sorry, but despite your disclaimer, it’s pretty icky to use this photo in this context. It’s attributed to one “Tim Parkinson” but it was taken in Sheffield among a lot of crowd shots, and it looks unlikely that the child’s parents gave permission. The fact that someone has put a photo of someone else’s unidentified kid on a photostream does NOT make it OK to use it without checking with the parents – especially in a discussion that is inevitably turning to porn. Good luck finding a parent who is happy to see their child illustrate this discussion – even if it’s illustrating “not suitable for children”!

I don’t get this. If it is an unidentifiable person then surely the photo becomes one of a generic child. If you’re worried about when the kid grows up, I doubt they would look anything like this shot.

It reminds me of some news story that had a little baby in it. The station put a black bar across the baby’s face presumably so they would not be recognisable. This struck me as even more unlikely for someone that young.

I second (or third) the ear plugs. I live in Braddon too, the neighbours aren’t too bad but as a shift worker, I couldn’t live without them.

You’re never going to be able to change other people’s behaviour. Apartments with thin walls are never going to suit people who love peace and quiet. You’re essentially roommates with the people around you but with no say on what they do.

This person is clearly a Pro

madamcholet said :

poetix said :

‘…I more than appreciate the activity at hand, however I am not sure noises of that level are really necessary in any occasion nor are they appealing.’

You sound a little like a missionary describing the troubling habits of the Polynesians. I doubt she was worried about appealing to anyone, let alone that creepy person up the corridor who makes those strange recordings. Two words: Ear. Plugs.

+1

Ear plugs will assist you greatly. Instead of posting to RA for all to get their jollies, why don’t you try having a word, leaving a polite note or similar. You may find that she does not care, in which case then you might want to take further action such as contacting the body corporate to have a word with her about her unseemly behaviour. Not being a prude, but your approach has been rather odd. A description would have sufficed.

Nonsense. MP3 sound file or it didn’t happen.

poetix said :

‘…I more than appreciate the activity at hand, however I am not sure noises of that level are really necessary in any occasion nor are they appealing.’

You sound a little like a missionary describing the troubling habits of the Polynesians. I doubt she was worried about appealing to anyone, let alone that creepy person up the corridor who makes those strange recordings. Two words: Ear. Plugs.

+1

Ear plugs will assist you greatly. Instead of posting to RA for all to get their jollies, why don’t you try having a word, leaving a polite note or similar. You may find that she does not care, in which case then you might want to take further action such as contacting the body corporate to have a word with her about her unseemly behaviour. Not being a prude, but your approach has been rather odd. A description would have sufficed.

Change your wifi network name to ‘Apartment #x – we can hear you having sex’

devils_advocate said :

poetix said :

Two words: Ear. Plugs.

The right to swing one’s arm ends where another’s nose begins.

Two words for the screamer: Ball. Gag.

Actually, that’s a good idea. Buy a ballgag, have it all wrapped up nicely in a little box and leave at her front door. She’ll either use it or get the idea.

Two suggestions:
– Let them know that you take quite a bit of enjoyment in their performance, and feel obliged to join in from a distance. Once they work out what you mean, they will stop. Trust me on this one.
– If you send them the sound file, be polite and send a second file with the sound dubbed into a particular video for Massive Attack’s “Paradise Circus (Zeds Dead remix)”.

(NSFW warning – the following link is most definitely not one to watch in the company of your HR team, potential employers, your parents/children, minister/mullah/rabbi/priest, or those prone to general excitement: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nwyc2J-QOPA)

poetix said :

Two words: Ear. Plugs.

The right to swing one’s arm ends where another’s nose begins.

Two words for the screamer: Ball. Gag.

‘…I more than appreciate the activity at hand, however I am not sure noises of that level are really necessary in any occasion nor are they appealing.’

You sound a little like a missionary describing the troubling habits of the Polynesians. I doubt she was worried about appealing to anyone, let alone that creepy person up the corridor who makes those strange recordings. Two words: Ear. Plugs.

Well it serves you right for buying an apartment in Canberra… Canberra is a place for houses…

Just ask everyone to post this link on Facebook. Soon enough, she’ll get it posted to her wall too… Then the problem will either disappear, or get much, much worse. Of course a small cheersquad clapping and whooping in the corridor at the cessation of ‘hostilities’ might help, too… Personally, I’d try several similar recordings on a USB, left in the mailbox… Or a flashing red light in the corridor to warn passers-by of the embarrassing awkwardness… Some remarks to your neighbour about “last night’s performance” along with a rating out of ten may be useful; but again could go either way, especially if she is the competitive type…

Sounds like she’s having a great time.

I suggest playing that recording extremely loud at times when she’s trying to sleep. With luck, she’ll recognise her own voice and understand your pain.

2nd thought… Are you sure its not the ladies tennis final?

Just do the right thing!

Buy her some KY

Perhaps respond xkcd style?

Try the pleading note on the door.

If that doesn’t work, get a step ladder and duct-tape a larger note to the front of the building next to the entrance door asking the lady from [insert apartment #] to rein in her exuberance.

If that doesn’t work, get some old sheets and drape a banner in front of the building pleading for the moaning from [insert apartment #] to stop.

With any luck someone will take a photo and it will go viral, and then hopefully she’ll get the message in her email.

Shame we don’t have the UK ASBO laws ….

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1171244/Woman-handed-Asbo-loud-sex-sessions-neighbours-complained-police-25-times.html

NoAddedMSG said :

As part of my job, I reguarly have to write letters to people about noisy sex, “showering together” in communal showers, and unsanitary bathroom habits of varying levels of ick

Ouch – I always feel for the security staff at Parliament House.

Travelling for work once – and staying in a country town motel frequented by FIFO mining types – I returned to my room after a counter-meal in the adjoining pub.

Was surprised not to see the motel walls shaking as I could hear the sounds of ‘oh yeah baby, give it to me harder’ shrieking from my neighbour’s room. After the novelty wore off in about two minutes, I decided to drown them out by turning on my TV. Of course, from the in-house channel, I soon heard the stereo sounds of ‘oh yeah baby, give it to me harder’…

Assuming you have a sound system of some sort, next time you hear her crank your speakers up (perhaps put a speaker in the stair well), and play the Benny Hill sound track until she stops.

Be sure to stop the music as soon as she does, then start it again when she starts up again… that way she’ll be left in no doubt that the music is for her 🙂

she’s faking it.

Just go and bang (not an euphemism) on the door and tell them to pipe down. That surely is enough embarrassment to stop.

You sure you didn’t record this soundbite at Brodburger; as this could well explain the hold-up in the kitchen which is causing the average one hour wait for a burger?

Extra mayonnaise or aioli, anyone?????

Ah reminds me of an experience I had whilst living in a Belconnen townhouse several years ago. Our townhouse backed on to another row of townhouses, but they were raised up a level over our back courtyard areas.

I remember myself and my girlfriend at the time going to bed on a summer night at about 1am, only to be woken by a highly enthusiastic performance from a lady who had obviously been watching too much porn. There was moaning, screaming and numerous highly explicit phrases thrown around.

As it was a hot Saturday night, our neighbour had obviously left their window open and this meant that all of this girl’s sweet melodies came floating down to our own bedroom. This went on for over an hour, to the point that our flatmate came and joined us in our bedroom and we listened and commented on this young ladies vocal performance.

We then had to stiffle down an absolute burst of laughter when we heard this potential opera stars’ male lover politely suggest that she might want to keep it down a little, to which she responded “Stop talking and f%$# me harder”… This carried on for another 10 minutes and then it was all over red rover.

Since this never happened again, we came to the conclusion that our neighbour was the male and that he “brought home a live one”…

I also had a friend who was living in some of the apartments on the big round about between Kingston and Fyshwick. She was constantly petrified of coming into contact with her neighbours, who had a set up their own personal dungeon in the room next door to her bedroom and conducted long weekend S&M sessions. She finally met them, and was mortified to find they were an overweight couple in their 50s. If only you could buy clean and wipe for your memories…

Must be a professional.

Sorry, but despite your disclaimer, it’s pretty icky to use this photo in this context. It’s attributed to one “Tim Parkinson” but it was taken in Sheffield among a lot of crowd shots, and it looks unlikely that the child’s parents gave permission. The fact that someone has put a photo of someone else’s unidentified kid on a photostream does NOT make it OK to use it without checking with the parents – especially in a discussion that is inevitably turning to porn. Good luck finding a parent who is happy to see their child illustrate this discussion – even if it’s illustrating “not suitable for children”!

Martlark said :

NoAddedMSG said :

As part of my job, I reguarly have to write letters to people about noisy sex, “showering together” in communal showers, and unsanitary bathroom habits of varying levels of ick.

Sounds like you have a job at ADFA or the police academy.

AMC?

http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/Box-200-Pair-Foam-Ear-Plugs-Comfy-Quality-32NRR-USA-made-LL-1-3301105-/230767218272?pt=AU_ISafety&hash=item35bacc4e60#ht_1044wt_1297

Enough there to last years

Facinating. Maybe you could take her to court?
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/woman-faces-court-rap-for-noisy-325107

If they’re doing it outside, just dump a bucket of cold water on them, and ask them to move on. If they’re in a house, just knock on the door until they answer, then ask them to stfu?

Who cares if you seem them in the hallway later, why should you be embarrassed?

jessieduck said :

dazzab said :

Why is everyone assuming she’s in there with partner/s? Never underestimate the power of vegetables.

Nah, she’s definitely putting on a show for someone.

I’m guessing manager/custodian/whatever of a uni dorm or similar.

Perhaps it’s just porn turned up REAL loud…

NoAddedMSG said :

As part of my job, I reguarly have to write letters to people about noisy sex, “showering together” in communal showers, and unsanitary bathroom habits of varying levels of ick.

Sounds like you have a job at ADFA or the police academy.

johnboy said :

if one were to listen closely there’s am “Oh baby” in there

How many listens?

NoAddedMSG said :

As part of my job, I reguarly have to write letters to people about noisy sex, “showering together” in communal showers, and unsanitary bathroom habits of varying levels of ick.

I can’t remember when I’ve been so intrigued!

dazzab said :

Why is everyone assuming she’s in there with partner/s? Never underestimate the power of vegetables.

Nah, she’s definitely putting on a show for someone.

Why is everyone assuming she’s in there with partner/s? Never underestimate the power of vegetables.

any chance of organising a flash mob (not in THAT sense, although who knows….) next time this happens?

Leave a note pinned to the front door so she sees it, and your neighbors see it and cheer!

NoAddedMSG said :

As part of my job, I reguarly have to write letters to people about noisy sex, “showering together” in communal showers, and unsanitary bathroom habits of varying levels of ick.

I don’t know what this job of yours is, but have you considered changing jobs? I mean seriously.

Leave a link to this post under her door, and hopefully she will connect the dots.

Just leave a note in her post box, stating that she can be heard. Poor thing would be so embarrassed to know that she was heard (she must be bloody loud)

As part of my job, I reguarly have to write letters to people about noisy sex, “showering together” in communal showers, and unsanitary bathroom habits of varying levels of ick.

It seems to be more effective if you are completely upfront, don’t use cliches, and are as clinical in your descriptions as possible. Passive-aggressive approaches may be satisfying, but tend to get a passive aggressive response in reply. I do sometimes avoid talking to people directly if I think it will make them feel humiliated as I’m not after revenge, just for the behaviour to stop. I’d go with a note like “Dear neighbour, we can all hear you when you are having sex, even in our apartments with all the windows closed and the tv on. It makes us all feel very uncomfortable. We would all appreciate it if you could please stop making so much noise while having sex.”

If it then keeps going, you will know at that point that she is getting a kick out of knowing you all can hear her. Good luck dealing with that if it is the case.

Dilandach said :

Its okay, everyone hogs at least once. Think of it like a quota that everyone needs to fill.

Never have, never will.

Well, never is a long time. I’m still: relatively young; wealthy and attractive. Who knows what the future will bring.

devils_advocate said :

gospeedygo said :

I am x’ing the suggestions of the other rioters, leave a nice cd/dvd/usb drive under their door with a little note. If you have the time, you might want to make up a little techno remix with auto tune for their enjoyment.

Exception said :

Definitely not hot.

The large ones are always the weirdest….

and the most grateful.. not that I’d know firsthand, you understand.

Its okay, everyone hogs at least once. Think of it like a quota that everyone needs to fill.

The Traineediplomat said :

This is one of the funniest posts of all time on RiotAct and I hope it wins the Mully for April.

Agreed, I also like the multimedia component.

This is one of the funniest posts of all time on RiotAct and I hope it wins the Mully for April. To note that either she’s going solo (and bravo for several hours) or the man/men/woman/women/goat that she is with is very quiet.

Have you tried gathering a few friends together and cheering them on. That’s what we used to do in uni ressies when this happened and most couples only did it once (with the notable exception of the B2 screamers).

gospeedygo said :

I am x’ing the suggestions of the other rioters, leave a nice cd/dvd/usb drive under their door with a little note. If you have the time, you might want to make up a little techno remix with auto tune for their enjoyment.

Exception said :

Definitely not hot.

The large ones are always the weirdest….

and the most grateful.. not that I’d know firsthand, you understand.

Lazy I said :

Is she vocalising in the bedroom or straining in the bathroom? sound file is ambiguous.

or straining in the bedroom? some people’s proclivities should not be queried! 🙂

Lazy I said :

Is she vocalising in the bedroom or straining in the bathroom? sound file is ambiguous.

ROTFL.

Gold.

Is she vocalising in the bedroom or straining in the bathroom? sound file is ambiguous.

00davist said :

In the end we worked out that the central heating system was not helping, it became an amplifier for the sound, room to room!

My wife can lie in bed and ask for a cup of tea and I can hear from the kitchen through the “speaker-like” duct in the ceiling…..quite a novelty at first.
Unfortunately, we also discovered when anybody uses the bathroom it’s wise to turn the TV volume up right away.

Deref said :

LOL. She’s obviously enjoying herself.

I wonder if those are the flats that our first Chief Minister bought one of and ended up selling six months later, because the walls were so thin that every time someone flushed a toilet the whole block knew.

I think you should burn the track onto a CD. Slip it under her door with a note saying “We, your neighbours. think it’s great that you’re enjoying yourself so much. If more people would spend time having fun like that the world would be a better place and no-one would have time for wars. Don’t stop.

But we’d be grateful if you’d keep it down a little while we’re watching TV.”

Better still, put down an address from an adjoining suburb.

Reminds me of a housemate I had a few years back, nice enough person, but MAN, not quiet when her beau was around, and we had brick walls thorough, and even from the other end of what was quite a large old house, you couldn’t get sleep unless she was sleeping (it didn’t help that she had one of those 2 inch from the ground bed’s either, I swear the floor should have given out)

In the end we worked out that the central heating system was not helping, it became an amplifier for the sound, room to room!

I am x’ing the suggestions of the other rioters, leave a nice cd/dvd/usb drive under their door with a little note. If you have the time, you might want to make up a little techno remix with auto tune for their enjoyment.

Exception said :

Definitely not hot.

The large ones are always the weirdest….

In the middle of a session, knock on the door in some sexy kit and ask if you can join in!

copy it onto a disk. print out this thread and tape both of them to the door of her apartment.

LOL. She’s obviously enjoying herself.

I wonder if those are the flats that our first Chief Minister bought one of and ended up selling six months later, because the walls were so thin that every time someone flushed a toilet the whole block knew.

I think you should burn the track onto a CD. Slip it under her door with a note saying “We, your neighbours. think it’s great that you’re enjoying yourself so much. If more people would spend time having fun like that the world would be a better place and no-one would have time for wars. Don’t stop.

But we’d be grateful if you’d keep it down a little while we’re watching TV.”

In this context, the information on noise.act.gov.au is quite funny.

e.g.

> On the other hand, let your neighbours know
> if you are planning noisy activities such as
> renovations or a party.

Also:

http://www.noise.act.gov.au/files/Talking_to_NeighbourFINAL.pdf

knuckles said :

“While I tried to get to sleep for several hours”

Make sure you track down the bloke involved and give him a pat on the back for me. What a champion.

Its only seven hours. Not special at all. Its border line premature.

“While I tried to get to sleep for several hours”

Make sure you track down the bloke involved and give him a pat on the back for me. What a champion.

Definitely not hot.

The sound isn’t even coming through the walls (our apartments are not next to each other) and we can’t hear anything that the next door neighbours are doing…..I worry for the hearing of the individual joining her. I’m thinking maybe a usb with the sound clip attached to her door and a pleading note??

EvanJames said :

Why developers are allowed to build apartments with porous walls is beyond me. I was staying in the Mantra in Darwin (on the bay), and became unpleasantly familiar with what the people in the rooms (yes, plural) above me had for dinner, going by the noises in their bathrooms and pipes the next morning. Ugh.

I’ve stayed in a Brownstone in Manhatten, and you didn’t hear a peep from the people on either side or above. It can be done, building places to live in where you aren’t assailed with noise from your neighbours.

It comes down to money. Apartments/houses made from cheap, crappy materials with inadequate sound proofing are common because developers can sell them for the same prices as the ones that have been built properly. It’s an issue of greed.

In relation to the OP – why not have a word with her about it? If that’s a little awkward for you, leave a letter/note for her.

Given how many illegal drug dens and brothels are being run out of apartments in Braddon and Lynham…

noise cancelling earphones?

or an infestation of mole crickets delivered to her rooms before activities commence? [difficult if the whistle signals play before you get home, though..]

or a bogus letter from community health letting her think she has some serious std?

Play some extremely unromantic music as loud as you can to drown it out. Odds are if you can hear them, they can hear you.
Apparently Nickelback is top of the Most Unromantic Music List…

Send them a link to this?

if you know who it is try talking to her like an adult?

Why developers are allowed to build apartments with porous walls is beyond me. I was staying in the Mantra in Darwin (on the bay), and became unpleasantly familiar with what the people in the rooms (yes, plural) above me had for dinner, going by the noises in their bathrooms and pipes the next morning. Ugh.

I’ve stayed in a Brownstone in Manhatten, and you didn’t hear a peep from the people on either side or above. It can be done, building places to live in where you aren’t assailed with noise from your neighbours.

She hot?