12 October 2005

Domestic Violence Council wants to raise your children (and ban parental corporal punishment)

| johnboy
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ABC Online has a story on a debate proposed by the ACT’s Domestic Violence Prevention Council on plans to outlaw parents making use of corporal punishment.

Former community advocate Heather McGregor raised the prospect earlier this year in her departing address.

She said physical punishment of children is rarely effective or justified and should be treated the same way as domestic violence.

Real domestic violence too hard for them so they decide to spend taxpayers money telling parents how to raise their children? Fascinating.

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I believe I thought only of you when I wrote that LG.

RG I love you.

No it doesn’t and when it does I’ll have to abide. Too bad if I don’t like it.

We aren’t talking about a tit in public, unless you were off to the local for a few that is.

Rg – how dare you strike that child. it has rights, enshrined in law, to stop that sort of behaviour.

I smacked my kid once, for holding her brother under the water in the bath. As much as there is a perfectly logical reason why she shouldn’t do this, she is too young too understand it yet. So I need to create an emotional reason to stop her doing it again.

This is where theory runs into practicality and practically, I don’t want her to drown her brother. That is the priority over a slight resentment for the perception of a punishment that was not deserved.

Thumper, I’ll get your cane.

Thanks Dave,
If a child forms the foundation of their being in the first 6 years of life, and they are not disciplined at a basic level, could this potentialy cause psychological problems down the track as well? Whilst I don’t have children of my own, I am surrounded by small children in my peer group and my family. It is painfully obvious when comparing different children’s behaviour that the kids who have been smacked on occasion have a much more concise understanding of right and wrong. You can attribute this to the individual personalaties of the children, but I call it learned behaviour.

As for my position that smacking can form part of an effective parenting strategy, I don’t think (and I’m sure most will agree with me) that it is akin to ‘extreme psychological trauma’; in fact I believe that far from being barbaric, it is a legitimate way to correct a small child, and provided it is used responsibly; can accelerate the social and learning growth of a youngster.

I think we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one. My only comment would be that just because an idea doesn’t work for you, let people make up their own minds about it and avoid terms like ‘child abuse’ and ‘extreme pschological trauma’. It makes you sound quite militant, and some people might lose interest in discussing this with you.

Anyway, once again, I appreciate your input and a different perspective.

David Heidelberg5:53 pm 13 Oct 05

Thank you Bulldog.

I have two little girls, 6 and 9.

Nik the copper points out that many people use smacking as an aversion technique – a very ill thought out one as it doesn’t consider the child to be beyond a mechanised primitive being.

I accept your example about being smacked not causing you extreme psychological trauma. However, consider for a moment that it has contributed to your view that smacking is an acceptable parenting strategy.

A child forms the foundation of their being in the first 6 years of life.

Dave, I respect your position but I very much disagree. Smacking should not be a single tool to bring up a child, it should be part of a parenting strategy for those who elect to utilise it.

IMO a smack (you don’t have to lift the child of their feet for gods sake) is a far more efficient way of communicating displeasure to children between the ages of two and four. Once a child has a grasp of language then reasoning and communication can be just as effective.

As Nik points out, it’s natures most basic form of aversion therapy. If a small child knows better and is being intentionally naughty then discussing their actions may not be as effective as a slap on the wrist and a firm NO. I do not advocate hurting children. A smack should not leave welts or bruises.

All of my family (brothers, sisters, cousins etc) and most of my mates were smacked on occasion as children and there has been no harm done.

Dave, do you have children? I’m not reading through the bleeding heart blog to find out, I’m just curious. I don’t have children yet so maybe I will change my view down the track, I can accept that. Are you leaving yourslef open to suggestion? You sound pretty militant about the whole thing. Enlighten us a little further.

Don’t hit children when they’re small, but beat the living crap out of them when they’re teens!

No David, “smacking” is lawful chastisement.

I agree physical discipline is not the best form of education and can have detrimental results but pain is the most basic and natural from of learning our bodies have, natures aversion therapy telling us DON’T DO THAT AGAIN. Used in moderation, appropriately, it can teach where verbal communication and comprehension is unable to.

David Heidelberg2:34 pm 13 Oct 05

‘smacking’ is child abuse.

People who hit their children should be before the court in the same way you would be if you assaulted someone on the street.

What sort of message are we giving our children, that violence is how conflict is resolved?

Can I hit my wife if she doesn’t do what I ask?
Can I hit the sales assistant because he won’t give me a refund?
How about my boss who is really pissing me off?

Violence of any type inflicted on children is a horrendous betrayal of trust, and one of the most despicable acts I can think of.

I’ve written more about it here

“aren’t you glad I’m not like that?”…

I say the same thing to my mother when Im shopping … but then again I am 44 🙂


Sure we’ll have peace, but at what price?

Whilst I also advocate the use of canned goods to punish other peoples unruly children, I’m not too fussed on world peace. Your fighting nature and evolution at that point.

There will be world peace if they decriminalise bludgeoning with tins of tomatoes….

So, the argument is that there will be world peace if parents don’t smack their kids?

Spot the wog10:25 am 13 Oct 05

Yes thankyou so much!!another one with the right frame of mind if god says its ok

Yes STW, it may. I will smack my kids on the bum (not too hard) when they are doing some wrong and they know better. If I’m perpetuating a downward spiral then so be it. In my humble opinion Mr and Mrs Never-Smack (I hate hyphenated names; they sound so pretentious), have done too much harm to society already.

Fat and/or rude children are in plague proportions. This is one step in fixing the bleak future being presented. So, smack your children. They will inevitably deserve it at some point and God says it’s okay!

I don’t smack, but that’s my choice as a parent. I have never needed to smack my child, as I have other methods of dealing with her, which have been far more effective. I guess Idon’t believe in violence against children, having been regularly and severely beaten as a child myself.

Having said that, many has been the time at the supermarket when some feral little shit has been carrying on and I have wanted to throw a can of tomatoes at his head. (but I do feel superior when my child says “aren’t you glad I’m not like that?”). But still, if carrying a firearm was ok, there would be a lot less children in Belconnen, courtesy of myself. Maybe it’s just violence against MY child that I don’t like…..

Spot the wog10:07 am 13 Oct 05

hmmm i can say we were all children once and a smack on the bum wasn’t that bad, in the end we were all little shits to our parents at some point.

However the parenting techniques learned by the child may inflict on how they act as a parent its an intergenerational cycle of dicipline and in the unfortunate cases violence.

I think most of us would have copped a smacked bum or a whack with the wooden spoon when we were kids. I certainly don’t feel there was any harm done and I know that I learned what was innapropriate behaviour really quickly.

IMHO these do-gooders are trying to justify their pay-checks by making outrageous claims that smacking a naughty child is domestic violence. Don’t get me wrong, there’s no room for cruel and unusual punishments or flogging the crap out of a kid who may not know any better, but a smacked bum for doing the wrong thing when they know better is okay by me.

I don’t have any kids (yet), but when there are bulldog puppies on the loose, I feel sorry for the poor pricks who want to tell me or my partner how to raise our kids.

spend some money on making basic parenting classes compulsory, and let parents make their own choice on how to raise their children.

Ban childbirth and parenting.


I should note that I can see arguments on either side.

But if lasting physical damage isn’t being done to the child then I don’t think it is any business of the state at all.

I can hear the bleating about psychological damage now. But there are so many ways for parents to do that I really don’t think we can afford to go down that path.

How about Dads who tell their daughters they are fat? Mums who won’t hold their children?

Where will it ever end?

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