I was greeted on Friday afternoon by an unwelcome-looking summons-like document in my mail.
“Oh no”, I thought, “they’ve finally caught up with me for….that DUI I skipped 20 years ago in Victoria by using erm, a creative ID?”, nah, not possible.
Open it up – I’ve got #$@*ing Jury Service for 3 weeks. They’ll pay “an allowance”, they say…
What I need to know is this:
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1/ Will the allowance cover my company’s loss of $1400/day for me being stuck in a room of slow-moving lawyers doing %$@#-all to stop a limp-wristed magistrate from giving some scumbag druggie his 35th “chance”?
2/ Please give me the best strategy for getting out of this, because it’s just not going to work. Not for me, nor for anybody else. Pretty please.
3/ How much is the contempt-of-court fine for mouthing off at the slow-motion lawyers/magistrates for being parasites fleecing the public with their time-wasting bollocks? (If it’s less than a couple of $,000, it might be worth it, if it gets me kicked off quick smart).