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Jury Service

By HenryBG - 4 March 2012 123

I was greeted on Friday afternoon by an unwelcome-looking summons-like document in my mail.

“Oh no”, I thought, “they’ve finally caught up with me for….that DUI I skipped 20 years ago in Victoria by using erm, a creative ID?”, nah, not possible.

Open it up – I’ve got #$@*ing Jury Service for 3 weeks. They’ll pay “an allowance”, they say…

What I need to know is this:

1/ Will the allowance cover my company’s loss of $1400/day for me being stuck in a room of slow-moving lawyers doing %$@#-all to stop a limp-wristed magistrate from giving some scumbag druggie his 35th “chance”?

2/ Please give me the best strategy for getting out of this, because it’s just not going to work. Not for me, nor for anybody else. Pretty please.

3/ How much is the contempt-of-court fine for mouthing off at the slow-motion lawyers/magistrates for being parasites fleecing the public with their time-wasting bollocks? (If it’s less than a couple of $,000, it might be worth it, if it gets me kicked off quick smart).

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123 Responses to
Jury Service
dixyland 8:57 am 04 Mar 12

As the great Homer says “Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races”.

Viridian 8:53 am 04 Mar 12

Have you ever thought that attending and making a decision on the matter, with your fellow jurors, that you could make a difference for the future. Let’s see, maybe the druggie won’t get a 36th chance.

Jim Jones 8:53 am 04 Mar 12

You have an opportunity to give a little bit back to the society that’s obviously given you so much.

Your attitude about this opportunity speaks volumes about you, and it’s not good.

patrick_keogh 8:21 am 04 Mar 12

To get out of jury duty you just need to move house. I’ll help by drawing up a list of countries where they don’t have pesky jury duty and where the authorities hand out more meaningful sentences like 500 lashes, getting your arm chopped off or getting hung. Then you can move to one of those countries which would suit you much better.

Mothy 8:06 am 04 Mar 12

You think you’re worth $1400 income a day to the company eh? Must make your wage negotiations a hoot.

I love that you’re having a whinge about judges who aren’t perfroming, yet when you’re called on to do your part for the process, you’re looking for a way out.

Suck it up princess.

Deref 8:00 am 04 Mar 12

I’m rather envious. I’ve never been called and I think it’d be interesting.

vg 7:14 am 04 Mar 12

1. No, but you’re not worth $1400 a day unless your be of the later mentioned ‘druggies’.

2. Best strategy is join the Police, then you never have to do it

3. Not quite as much as the fact you’ll lose your $1400/day job because of your new criminal history. That and you’ll get to see the inside of a court room again.

Mind you I am impressed that people can be professional wankers, and the pay seems great

bryansworld 6:05 am 04 Mar 12

Feng said :

LOL.

I am surprised that you stated your company’s income to such a degree. I don’t think anyone really cares like you don’t care about jury duty.

It also sounds like you got ‘alot’ of money to waste so why not donate it to some charity rather than think of using it for some seriously twisted personal issue?

Some countries would kill for a court system like ours. It may be slow at times but it’s damn good. It’s not perfect but nothing is in this world. I think it does the job nicely and I think the process behind the outcomes of decisions that come out of the courts is pretty darn good.

So why not just think about doing a good service to your community and to a system that’s giving you the protection to earn your ‘$1,400’ income?

But what I really wanted to say after all that is seriously, shut the hell up and think about doing some good rather than dwell in your own idiocy.

+1.

buzz819 5:50 am 04 Mar 12

It’s just one of those things you have to do.

Contempt of court, last time I saw it was an imprisonment term, so it’s not something that I would do lightly.

Your company also has to suck it up, unless you are a lawyer, teacher, Police officer or Doctor, it is one of those things that you can’t really get out of.

You can turn up on the day and hope that you don’t get selected, but that is it. But seems as the supreme court has put a huge rush on a heap of cases of the next month or two, I’m sure you you will be found suitable for something.

Hey you might even learn a thing or two.

damien haas 3:43 am 04 Mar 12

Am i the only person who appreciates the irony of a person who wants to do nothing for their community, appealing to the same community for advice ?

JC 3:38 am 04 Mar 12

You should go to find out how the system works. For one you will find that you won’t be in a court with a magistrate, they generally operate solo.

molongloid 2:56 am 04 Mar 12

molongloid said :

It was very wet on Friday and your mailbox was full of water, wasn’t it? The letters were just a soggy pile of mush, right? You didn’t know what was in them.

OR

You’re a contractor / sole trader.

OR

show them this thread. I doubt they’d want you on the jury.

molongloid 2:53 am 04 Mar 12

It was very wet on Friday and your mailbox was full of water, wasn’t it? The letters were just a soggy pile of mush, right? You didn’t know what was in them.

OR

You’re a contractor / sole trader.

Feng 2:16 am 04 Mar 12

LOL.

I am surprised that you stated your company’s income to such a degree. I don’t think anyone really cares like you don’t care about jury duty.

It also sounds like you got ‘alot’ of money to waste so why not donate it to some charity rather than think of using it for some seriously twisted personal issue?

Some countries would kill for a court system like ours. It may be slow at times but it’s damn good. It’s not perfect but nothing is in this world. I think it does the job nicely and I think the process behind the outcomes of decisions that come out of the courts is pretty darn good.

So why not just think about doing a good service to your community and to a system that’s giving you the protection to earn your ‘$1,400’ income?

But what I really wanted to say after all that is seriously, shut the hell up and think about doing some good rather than dwell in your own idiocy.

ummmm_no 2:03 am 04 Mar 12

I just want you spending the next three weeks there on general principle. Let your company find out whether they get a net gain.

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