Not to be outdone by Labor’s ridiculous spill/no spill circus, the local Liberals have stepped forwards remind us that they are just as much a parody of a real political party by bringing in lawyers to settle this whole Zed Seselja versus Gary Humphries malarky.
For those who have blissfully avoided or managed to forget the civil war dividing the Canberra Liberals, let me ruin both your day and faith in our country by bringing you up to speed. Tough kid Zed and his gang of Zeddites had a secret club meeting and didn’t invite Humphries’ Pogo gang along. At this secret meeting they determined that Zed was king of the playground. The Gary and the Pogo’s would have none of that and said that wasn’t fair, their tiny hands balling into fists. Zeddites have now started chanting “No takebacksies!” and have presumably climbed into their tree house and locked the door. Both sides have now burst into tears, bottom lips quivering and shrill screams echoing across the playground. They have cried loud enough that teachers have to come and sort it out for them. They are being paid quite well for this, as this is their job. They are professionally childish.
People often assume I’m lazy when I tell them I usually do my best to avoid following Politics, which is fair. However the truth is that every time I look at these screaming, hair-pulling children I get reminded that they are currently occupying the most powerful and important jobs in our country and I become incredibly afraid. I can’t understand how anyone could behave the way they do, and I’m even more amazed that we allow it. I wonder where their parents are and why they haven’t been called to take them home. I spent 6 years working in child services and I demanded better behavior of the children I looked after than I see from the supposed adults in question time.
The following two sentences are jokes, but are also completely true.
I frequently work with clowns all of whom conduct themselves with more grace, professionalism, and sincerity than these politicians do.
I vote we replace our government with a circus.