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“Pubes” a TV comedy series. Call for ideas.

By Kerehona 6 September 2011 91

PUBES is a mocumentary TV series I am developing which was inspried by the BBC Comedy Series the Office (starring Ricky Gervais), ABC TV’s Hollowmen and BBC Two’s People Like Us. Pubes is about public servants who are following their dreams, aspirations and creative ambitions outside of their usual public service role – and fail.

So far, some of the disillusioned characters I have that can potentially work could include an artist, singer songwriter, actor, cafe/restaurant owner, sportsperson or a filmmaker (like me – you have to write what you know about).

I find that some of the comments on RiotACT are extremely funny – I often find myself laughing out loud, so I’m throwing it out there for you all to contribute your quick wit and humour. If you have a typical public service story – such as an all staff meeting about cleaning the tea room (and a colleague asking if that they went to buy chux wipes, can they claim it on their tax?), or, organising a meeting to set a time for a meeting; or any other anecdote please contribute your ideas and experiences here!

Thanks alot.

K.


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“Pubes” a TV comedy series. Call for ideas.
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Emma29 10:35 am 20 Sep 11

1. A suck up teenager who is stoked that she/ he was selected in the public service after just completing school and is so over enthusiastic, Whilst all the middle aged public service workers – hating their job and dreaming for more – resent the youngun’s enjoyment of the workplace.

2. A dorky middle aged Dad who is overly proud of his children, and feels the need to paste pictures everywhere and constantly boasts to his uninterested colleagues of their achievements. ( picture him wearing out of fashion nits and pants that don’t quite reach his ankles)

3. An over dramatic aspiring actor, who attends productions weekly, and is currently the main character in an up and coming show that is “gonna be huge” but never seems to happen. He/She is often late to work after having slept in after ‘staying up all night rehearsing’.

Would love to see this show when its finished! 🙂

Thumper 10:00 am 09 Sep 11

One APS4 performing well decides to try his luck at an APS5 round being offered, acting in position, good work output, no comebacks for errors etc. Attends interview and is told no questions, just sell yourself. At end of interview told by panel of two that interview went well etc. Couple of days later said APS4 shattered to hear some blow-in from outside had been assessed as a better candidate, hard to believe as position knowledge and skills very specific

APS 6 who has been acting for a couple of years at EL1 level and getting perfect feedback goes for interview for own job and misses out to someone who then needs to been trained by the APS6. After a few months promoted person moves on, EL1 position is not filled but APS 6 still has all the responsibilities as before.

Not uncommon I believe.

troll-sniffer 9:48 am 09 Sep 11

One APS4 performing well decides to try his luck at an APS5 round being offered, acting in position, good work output, no comebacks for errors etc. Attends interview and is told no questions, just sell yourself. At end of interview told by panel of two that interview went well etc. Couple of days later said APS4 shattered to hear some blow-in from outside had been assessed as a better candidate, hard to believe as position knowledge and skills very specific.

Boss who had formed 50% of panel then instructs said APS4 to ‘help and train’ new APS5 as he was having problems getting his head around the duties. APS4 tells boss to take a jump, of course and concentrates on his own important work.

Boss employs services of APS5s, APS6s and even EL1s and 2s to sit with this new APS5 for half a day at a time to try and get him to understand the concept of the work at hand. Finally, after two months, this new APS5, previously assessed as being the best candidate for the job by two brilliant EL1s in a half hour chat, resigned, giving ‘incompetence’ as the reason for resignation.

The label of sheer incompetence on this occasion should be affixed to the two brilliant EL1s who conducted the interview!!!

Tootza 9:38 am 09 Sep 11

1) The RiotACT should feature in some way
2) The lovely young man who sent an email to all DIAC staff looking for the woman of his dreams whom he had met on the weekend.
3) You MUST get your hands on and include a copy of the photos on the back of the toilet doors at the Australian Bureau of Statistics. They are hilarious.

Good luck!

dpm 8:04 am 09 Sep 11

wildturkeycanoe said :

Looks like most of the respondents to this post are pubes, judging by the the fact that the post times are 75% during work hours [I bet the rest of you claimed OT for your efforts]. That means at an average of 10 minutes for everyone to read the story and think of a response, there were 9 hours wasted in total so far, with say a conservative hourly rate cost to the taxpayer of $50/h equating to $450 overall thus far. WHAT A WASTE of space and money. No wonder the government regularly culls the numbers. Get a life and stop indulging the likes of this wannabe going nowhere.
As for you, Kerehona, I thought PS staff are living their dreams….why leave to pursue anything else?? If ABC and the BBC [government funded media] are your target/inspiration, then why even bother……….[oh, revelation, you are part of the government].Good luck in the big wide world.
Sorry for the knee-jerk reaction, it’s normal for someone in the trades who sees you guys having Friday wine and beers every week, free parking, hour long lunch breaks, etc. etc. I’m just jealous. If you want real drama related to PS, just see the comments on Riotact about stealing milk from the fridge, I’m sure it’s worth a thousand laughs [sarcasm attached].
My next post will probably be tomorrow morning at around 5:30, before I go to work, or some time in the evening…if I get a chance before I fall asleep from exhaustion.

Hahahaha!
Well, when I was a kid, we had to sleep on rocks! And I had to walk 15miles to school every day….! etc etc…
Hahahaha!

BerraBoy68 8:45 pm 08 Sep 11

How about:

1. An SES Band 1 being counselled by for being caught shagging a young blonde APS 6 in a car park in the basement;

2. A Section bringing an a non-ongoing APS 4 for a couple of months to help the Section catch up on it’s filing, only to have the said non-ongoing APS 4 ask (quite seriously) at the next weekly Section meeting if anybody had considered having someone come in to help them with their filing;

3. Various employees using yellow pages as pillows to go to sleep on their desks over lunchtime;

4. A personal favourite – A young graduate lawyer with a passion for fighting censorship who hears the US President is looking at ways to censor the Internet. The young grad Lawyer then finds via a web-search the e-mail address for the US President and immediately fires off a ‘nasty-gram’ likening the President to Hitler and Stalin. Hilarity ensues when he is called to the Departmental Secretary’s Office the next to be interviewed by two visitors from the US Embassy demanding to know why the Australian Government is threatening the President. An all-staff e-mail follows within 15 minutes of the end of the meeting reminding all staff that all e-mails sent from work end in ‘.gov.au’.

5. A love-lorn employee searches for someone he met at a party via an all staff e-mail that next day makes national news.

6. A supervisor starts action against an under-performing staff member only to be told by HR that that staff member couldn’t possible be back in the APS as he had been fired a few years previously. Said staff member jumps before he was pushed, but returns yet again a year later in a non-ongoing role. He still can’t perform the required duties but is left in the position until his contract expires as this is seen as an easier approach than terminating the contract. Staff spend several awkward weeks tip-toeing around him as he’s made several comments stating that he was bullied and harassed out of the APS previously. He later runs for an executive position on the board of a local a local major club.

7.a. The staff member who always turns up on Friday with loads of cakes for morning tea. When told after several weeks that she needn’t go to so much expense and trouble, she say’s it’s no problem, she just goes into local bakeries on a Thursday arvo telling them she’s collecting their leftovers for charity.

7.b The same staff member places fundraising chocolates on the every floor of the building for about 5 months with signs saying she’s raising money to send her daughter to the national netball comp. When she is asked by other people (who also want to raise money) how much longer she’ll be doing this for, she replies the while netball finals were held months ago, it’s a good way to earn some extra cash.

8. The Departmental Secretary traveling overseas with the Minister who rings his Exec. Assistant back in Canberra telling her to find the angora sweater that he’s lost somewhere in South Africa.

9. The much hated SES member who decides (or has it decided for him) that the Public Service isn’t for him. He calls his own farewell morning tea only to have a lone sycophant EL 2 attend. The remaining 82 staff in the Branch spontaneously decide to go for coffee at that time somewhere else.

Disclaimer: The above may or may not be fictional and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. That said, I can’t believe I’ve lived through all of the above. While any of the above might make you’re blood boil, they’ve also given me and my colleagues a bloody good laugh.

Deckard 7:22 pm 08 Sep 11

wildturkeycanoe said :

it’s normal for someone in the trades who sees you guys having Friday wine and beers every week,

Do tradies actually work on Fridays? Most pubs on a Friday afternoon are packed with fluro yellow shirts.

MissChief 4:56 pm 08 Sep 11

What about the EL1 who sent out corro to stakeholders in every state & territory with the RESLUTS of the survey!

Gungahlin Al 1:29 pm 08 Sep 11

Try this true story: staffer inadvertantly CCs an email to a list addy that actually goes to every staff member in the department. The ensuing streams of “Please remove me from this list” emails followed by hundreds of “Stop using Reply All” emails while replying to all that quite literally bogged down the entire network for over an hour (yes even worse than how the internet melted down when Steve Irwin died). Followed by a mini reburst the next morning from people who weren’t there on the day…

Early days of email usage? Nope – about 3 years ago.

Me no fry 11:03 am 08 Sep 11

poetix said :

Me no fry said :

Androyd said :

…obnoxious SES person…

The word obnoxious is surely redundant when used to describe somebody in the SES.

My own example (partly covered by others): – working on the planning for the redevelopment of an large-scale database system I wrote heaps of doco outlining the various alternatives, costings and time-lines. Then the consultants (from a well-known IT company with close links to the department) arrived – one spent most of his time big-noting himself, telling everyone how fast his car was and how expensive his collection of wine was. The other one was OK (in that he wasn’t a lazy braggart), but it was apparent that they both were mainly concerned with collecting any existing doco on the proposed redevelopment rather than doing any detailed investigations of their own.

Sure enough, when the report came out, most of my work was in there, word for word, along with the unchanged costings and time-lines. The consultancy firm was basically paid tens of thousands of dollars to plagiarise my work.

Consultants aren’t in the SES. They may be paid as much, but that’s a different issue.

I know that. The two comments were meant to be separate and unconnected – a quick swipe at the SES (could not resist) then my little story about useless consultants. Sorry if it wasn’t clear.

Kerehona 8:46 am 08 Sep 11

What about a new ‘Tradies’ comedy series?
* Over quoting on jobs, not turning up to work and when they do, smoko break…then leaving a shitty job 🙂

Jethro 8:30 am 08 Sep 11

wildturkeycanoe said :

Jethro said “Refugees, aboriginals, teachers and now public servants… who else can I add to your list?”
Jethros? Good to see you’re burning the midnight oil. Just make sure you enjoy your sleep in, 9:30am start and remember government computers aren’t for private internet browsing, especially not on taxpayer funded time. Let’s see how may responses come through after clock on this morning…starting at post #77.

1. I’m not an office worker.
2. I work part time and have today off.

Kerehona 8:27 am 08 Sep 11

LSWCHP said :

Jesus Christ Almighty. I hate to be the cloud that rains on the parade here, but this makes me spew. I don’t think it’s hilarious, because I don’t work in the APS, and my money pays for this nonsense. For over 20 years I’ve busted my arse contributing to a company that builds and sells useful things. We live by our wits, and if we don’t come up with the goods every single damn day then we lose our jobs. It’s that simple.

Where I work, bludgers who spend the day surfing the net are counselled, given their 3 chances as required by law, and fired if they don’t shape up. People who don’t show up for work are given a chance to explain themselves and start showing up. If they choose not to, they are fired. People who show up drunk are fired. A senior manager on a 6 figure salary who showed up for 2 hours per day, as described here, would either shape up or be fired within days.

Issues are dealt with. people are treated fairly and with consideration, but issues are dealt with. They have to be, because if they are not then we will not survive. And let me tell you all, we are considered by others to be a pretty soft hearted and considerate touchy-feely organisation.

Come and see what life is like in private enterprise people It may seem a little harsh, but I’d rather drink a schooner of cold vomit than put up with the crap I’ve just read here.

Do you have to read it if it makes you sick

Kerehona 8:25 am 08 Sep 11

wildturkeycanoe said :

Looks like most of the respondents to this post are pubes, judging by the the fact that the post times are 75% during work hours [I bet the rest of you claimed OT for your efforts]. That means at an average of 10 minutes for everyone to read the story and think of a response, there were 9 hours wasted in total so far, with say a conservative hourly rate cost to the taxpayer of $50/h equating to $450 overall thus far. WHAT A WASTE of space and money. No wonder the government regularly culls the numbers. Get a life and stop indulging the likes of this wannabe going nowhere.
As for you, Kerehona, I thought PS staff are living their dreams….why leave to pursue anything else?? If ABC and the BBC [government funded media] are your target/inspiration, then why even bother……….[oh, revelation, you are part of the government].Good luck in the big wide world.
Sorry for the knee-jerk reaction, it’s normal for someone in the trades who sees you guys having Friday wine and beers every week, free parking, hour long lunch breaks, etc. etc. I’m just jealous. If you want real drama related to PS, just see the comments on Riotact about stealing milk from the fridge, I’m sure it’s worth a thousand laughs [sarcasm attached].
My next post will probably be tomorrow morning at around 5:30, before I go to work, or some time in the evening…if I get a chance before I fall asleep from exhaustion.

Hi WildTurkeyCanoe
Thanks for shedding light on the public’s perception of puclic service culture – obviously negative. This is why i thought it would be good material for a comedy series. I do think that calling me a wannabe going nowhere is a kick in the nuts.

I was a tradie too once and went to uni at 35, did it tough with a baby and several years later landed a PS job. Its not as much money as being a tradie. My mates earn three times more than me and didn’t finish school 🙂

wildturkeycanoe 6:08 am 08 Sep 11

Jethro said “Refugees, aboriginals, teachers and now public servants… who else can I add to your list?”
Jethros? Good to see you’re burning the midnight oil. Just make sure you enjoy your sleep in, 9:30am start and remember government computers aren’t for private internet browsing, especially not on taxpayer funded time. Let’s see how may responses come through after clock on this morning…starting at post #77.

Henry82 12:00 am 08 Sep 11

You really need to have a good read through all the archives. There are some absolute gems in there. I’m not sure if it’s possible, but you could try asking mods for the top x hundred posts with the most replies.

A couple that instantly came to mind.

– The woman that didn’t like the smell of bananas in the workplace, and the effort it took to resolve the issue.
– Change of governments, being fired on the friday, and being rehired as a contractor on the monday.
– Meetings + time wasting to make final decisions.

Jethro 11:37 pm 07 Sep 11

wildturkeycanoe said :

Looks like most of the respondents to this post are pubes, judging by the the fact that the post times are 75% during work hours [I bet the rest of you claimed OT for your efforts]. That means at an average of 10 minutes for everyone to read the story and think of a response, there were 9 hours wasted in total so far, with say a conservative hourly rate cost to the taxpayer of $50/h equating to $450 overall thus far. WHAT A WASTE of space and money. No wonder the government regularly culls the numbers. Get a life and stop indulging the likes of this wannabe going nowhere.
As for you, Kerehona, I thought PS staff are living their dreams….why leave to pursue anything else?? If ABC and the BBC [government funded media] are your target/inspiration, then why even bother……….[oh, revelation, you are part of the government].Good luck in the big wide world.
Sorry for the knee-jerk reaction, it’s normal for someone in the trades who sees you guys having Friday wine and beers every week, free parking, hour long lunch breaks, etc. etc. I’m just jealous. If you want real drama related to PS, just see the comments on Riotact about stealing milk from the fridge, I’m sure it’s worth a thousand laughs [sarcasm attached].
My next post will probably be tomorrow morning at around 5:30, before I go to work, or some time in the evening…if I get a chance before I fall asleep from exhaustion.

Refugees, aboriginals, teachers and now public servants… who else can I add to your list?

LSWCHP 10:40 pm 07 Sep 11

Jesus Christ Almighty. I hate to be the cloud that rains on the parade here, but this makes me spew. I don’t think it’s hilarious, because I don’t work in the APS, and my money pays for this nonsense. For over 20 years I’ve busted my arse contributing to a company that builds and sells useful things. We live by our wits, and if we don’t come up with the goods every single damn day then we lose our jobs. It’s that simple.

Where I work, bludgers who spend the day surfing the net are counselled, given their 3 chances as required by law, and fired if they don’t shape up. People who don’t show up for work are given a chance to explain themselves and start showing up. If they choose not to, they are fired. People who show up drunk are fired. A senior manager on a 6 figure salary who showed up for 2 hours per day, as described here, would either shape up or be fired within days.

Issues are dealt with. people are treated fairly and with consideration, but issues are dealt with. They have to be, because if they are not then we will not survive. And let me tell you all, we are considered by others to be a pretty soft hearted and considerate touchy-feely organisation.

Come and see what life is like in private enterprise people It may seem a little harsh, but I’d rather drink a schooner of cold vomit than put up with the crap I’ve just read here.

wildturkeycanoe 10:33 pm 07 Sep 11

Looks like most of the respondents to this post are pubes, judging by the the fact that the post times are 75% during work hours [I bet the rest of you claimed OT for your efforts]. That means at an average of 10 minutes for everyone to read the story and think of a response, there were 9 hours wasted in total so far, with say a conservative hourly rate cost to the taxpayer of $50/h equating to $450 overall thus far. WHAT A WASTE of space and money. No wonder the government regularly culls the numbers. Get a life and stop indulging the likes of this wannabe going nowhere.
As for you, Kerehona, I thought PS staff are living their dreams….why leave to pursue anything else?? If ABC and the BBC [government funded media] are your target/inspiration, then why even bother……….[oh, revelation, you are part of the government].Good luck in the big wide world.
Sorry for the knee-jerk reaction, it’s normal for someone in the trades who sees you guys having Friday wine and beers every week, free parking, hour long lunch breaks, etc. etc. I’m just jealous. If you want real drama related to PS, just see the comments on Riotact about stealing milk from the fridge, I’m sure it’s worth a thousand laughs [sarcasm attached].
My next post will probably be tomorrow morning at around 5:30, before I go to work, or some time in the evening…if I get a chance before I fall asleep from exhaustion.

Spykler 10:00 pm 07 Sep 11

1. The ASO4 who was provided the interview questions and suitable answers by the chair and sat at her desk reviewing them an hour before she went in for the interview, upon leaving for the interview she threw the page in the bin where it was discovered by one of her colleagues. The recruitment process was re-started and she eventually won the job.

2. The ASO 6 who missed out on the job she had been acting in for 18 months and refused to come into work for 7 weeks, they relented and gave her the position.

3. The EL2 who had used so many lies and excuses for continual absences, eventually got exhausted with making shit up and simply decided that turning up at 11.00am and leaving at 1.00pm was for her. No one lifted a finger for 2 years until a new SES arrived.

5

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