I need help with a bullying issue?

Bullying long term causes Anxiety, Depression and other mental illnesses and over a period of time left untreated; goes into the ‘physical’.

Whereby the Department of Education or Police have not ceased the bullying and the child has been bullied and assaulted by a group, the following steps should be taken to protect your Child and/or Children;

(I) remove your Child from that particular school as this group will continue targeting your other Children until they have all completed school. Until the Government/Department of Education come up with innovative strategies other than the latest concept throwing millions into a bullying website and book (by Minister Garrett) which will assist some victims and is great for those who come across the website and read it, however the bullying still continues by the same old bullies in the same old families right through into adulthood until someone (a role model through either work, socially or an interest) educates ‘the bully who is the follower’ and they drop out of these little local groups; alternatively some eventually move out of Canberra or the City they have grown up in and cause trouble elsewhere or straighten out away from their own cosy little environment.

If I were the Education Minister today, I would be taking half these kids out of each ‘local’ school in or around their suburb, turning away half that live near one another and placing them at a young age in another school one or two suburbs away to break down the culture of ‘suburban and local school groups’ leading to trouble and bullying. For instance, at the commencement of kindergarten, turn 50% away locally and place these kids who reside in or around one another, into a school one or two suburbs away. This occurs in Catholic and private schools, where parents are turned away to another private school when numbers are high in each of those schools.

Next, there should be legislation introduced into government schools whereby if there are ‘known troublemakers and bullies’ with one or two complaints of bullying accompanied by witnesses; these kids are automatically removed and relocated to another school. Legislation should have been drawn up years ago on this point. This teaches kids that it is unacceptable and more importantly will NOT be tolerated by the Education system and Government.

For any Parent of a Victim of bullying; take a week off to straighten out the issue yourself as I did once many years ago when one of my Children was bullied by one person for a few days. I nipped it in the bud and collected my Teenager from school with one of her other friends for a week; within a week, the bully wanted to be friends with my daughter and her couple of friends never bothered my Child again. One on one bullies are easier to deal with; a group is where the hard work comes in. Your kids need some adult presence or someone you are able to recruit after school for a term, walking home with them or picking them up. Preferably a Male of Fit Female with plenty of muscles! The bullying group are not so facetious when seeing an unexpected visitor to the school walking or driving home with their victims. It worked for one of my Children believe me!

Another relevant story in today’s media;
http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/schools-should-be-ranked-on-bullying-to-prevent-mental-health-problems-psychiatrist-says/story-fngqim8m-1226651773491
I think that’s a great idea. It might embaress some schools into doing something about the issue instead of sweeping it under the carpet.

So sad that this has happened.
Before you move your kids out of Tuggeranong, can I recommend Wanniassa School? Great school with a strong values program and good community.

> There have been over 10 breaches of the protection order, but only given a case number in 9 – 10 instances to date now.

I saw plenty of bullying in my day but I’ve never heard of a student getting a protection order against another student. It’s shocking that the public education system in this town has become so bad this is now not an extreme situation.

It was bad enough back in my day, it must be like lord of the flies now.

No wonder more and more parents are moving to the non-government and private school system.

Also, is it a surprise that Caroline Chisholm High School is a super school?

Tooks said :

Thanks for clarifying.

Unfortunately though, a civil case against a feral kid and his/her feral parents, is unlikely to gain much.

True. You’d probably initiate it against the school for failing to protect the child. And a lawyer could help you strengthen the AVO conditions.

IP

IrishPete said :

Tooks said :

Confusing criminal and civil matters. What do you think civil litigation would achieve in this case?

Strictly speaking AVOs are a civil matter, not criminal. Breach of an AVO is a criminal matter.

But what I meant is that a private lawyer is more likely to commence a civil case, which is for damages (money) than a criminal case (private prosecution). Even if that isn’t what the OP wants, it’s how lawyers get people to sit up and take notice, by commencing a case seeking damages commensurate with the harm, and also sometimes seeking punitive damages which can be any amount at all – a claim for really large punitive damages one will sometimes get the case reported in the media, which can also receive a quick outcome. Given there is money involved, a lawyer may even be willing to do it a no-win no-fee basis (if that’s allowed in the ACT). Slater and Gordon are the name that comes to mind first, as they have a reputation.

Personally I think there isn’t enough legal action by common people – we always want the system (police, DPP etc) to do it, and when they fail to act, we accept it, instead of being more assertive and taking the case ourselves. However, there is a financial and emotional cost to doing so.

Sometimes a letter from a lawyer is all it takes to get the negligent party to take appropriate action. In this case we believe from the information provided that the school is the negligent party.

IP

Thanks for clarifying.

Unfortunately though, a civil case against a feral kid and his/her feral parents, is unlikely to gain much.

But feel free to put it on the GOVERNMENT’s (read Labor from you) head and politicise the matter, rather than the fact that most schools seem to both have their hands tied while simultaneously sticking their heads in the sand to deny problems in the blind hope that the school doesn’t get a bad reputation.

Sorry, can’t let this one go.

Who has been in power for the past 10 years. Who continually tells us that they take bullying seriously? Who continually and systematically keeps sweeping these issues under the covers?

Who is the only organisation who can actually do anything about this?

I don’t deny that we need changes at an institutional level, but I was also pointing out that the stories in this thread seem to imply that there have been bullying problems at Caroline Chisolm and across the ACT for MULTIPLE decades, i.e, far longer than just the past 10yrs that Labor has been in power, therefore it would just be point-scoring to make this a Labor Vs Liberal debate when neither side has seemingly done anything about it.

I also have a rather depressing feeling that neither side of politics has the stomach to actually tackle this issue, which is why it seems to get put in the too hard basket as everyone tip-toes around and hopes that no one gets sued for the gross negligence which occurs as a result of worrying about litigation in the first place.

I’d say it’s an idictment on today’s society in general, not any side of politics.

That’s all.

The OP should simply name the school.

Maybe then the ACT government will <actually do something, rather than throw around meaningless slogans and motherhood statements.

The school was named ages ago Thumper.

Caroline Chisolm High I do believe.

From reading the numerous posts, it would seem that there have been bullying problems at that school for DECADES.

But feel free to put it on the GOVERNMENT’s (read Labor from you) head and politicise the matter, rather than the fact that most schools seem to both have their hands tied while simultaneously sticking their heads in the sand to deny problems in the blind hope that the school doesn’t get a bad reputation.

Check the politics at the door on this one, please.

Hi worried_mum,

I created an account purely to respond to you as your story really got to me. I’m only 19 so high school wasn’t too long ago for me and some of what you said bears some resemblance to h high school life.

Firstly, I just wanted to share my experience. I was midway through year 9 and also a A-B student when it begun. I had been bullied since year 7 but nothing too extreme. Actually I got beat up go the first time at the beginning of grade 8 at school and it happened twice that year. Year 9 was when it got bad. A certain gang would throw food at me, yell at me, push me over as they walked past me and when they felt like it, they would hit me. Always would be random. I had told the teachers, the principle, the vice principle, the front office, the councillor and the youth workers yet they did NOTHING to stop it. They made me feel like I was in the wrong. When they decided to bash me, other students would gather around and watch and even film it on their phones. I eventually dropped out of school and didn’t return to until college. Even after I dropped out, I was targeted. Turns out that group had connections with a even more dangerous and notorious group that even the police were scared of. I got beat up in woden interchange so bad I was put into hospital for a few days. The police still did NOTHING and said to me “you shouldn’t know these type of people” like I chose to know them. Another time, a group of boys from chisholm high school threatened me with knives at the shops. Another time, that same group broke into my bedroom but my mother called the police. I cant say what happened on here.I had to disappear from the world. I fell through terrible mental issues, addictions and ran away for about a month. I was very close to being gone forever but there was one person saved me. I have many horror stories. I won’t go into detail and I don’t mean to scare you, I just dread for this to happen to anyone else as I know how dark it is.

I STRONGLY advise you move your daughters. Chisholm was very strongly linked to the gang that abused me. It is a very “dodgy” suburb. And speaking for someone younger and “in” with what’s going on, there are very bad crowds there. I knew of many girls who got abused by both boys and girls. Please move her! I suggest telopea park as the crowd will be less likely to be linked to anyone there. Back when I was in high school, Chisholm, Melrose, stromlo and deakin were all linked. There was a gang in each school that were all friends. In saying that, deakin and stromlo are better and I would look into those if you wanted something south side.

In my opinion, nothing is worth risking in terms of your daughters safety. Please just move her, she will thank you later. There’s no getting through to kids like that, well I just know there was nothing I could’ve done to make them stop bullying me. I’m now attending university and I haven’t hear or seen from that gang for years. I just had to get away from them. They still do the same things as before and many of them have gotten locked up. I don’t think it’s wise to leave your daughter in that environment and you have to take her out of there and soon she will grow up and be surrounded by amazing people like I am now. Stay positive and optimistic!

Good luck!

And I apologise if my message is hard to read, I am typing it on my mobile phone.

Tooks said :

Confusing criminal and civil matters. What do you think civil litigation would achieve in this case?

Strictly speaking AVOs are a civil matter, not criminal. Breach of an AVO is a criminal matter.

But what I meant is that a private lawyer is more likely to commence a civil case, which is for damages (money) than a criminal case (private prosecution). Even if that isn’t what the OP wants, it’s how lawyers get people to sit up and take notice, by commencing a case seeking damages commensurate with the harm, and also sometimes seeking punitive damages which can be any amount at all – a claim for really large punitive damages one will sometimes get the case reported in the media, which can also receive a quick outcome. Given there is money involved, a lawyer may even be willing to do it a no-win no-fee basis (if that’s allowed in the ACT). Slater and Gordon are the name that comes to mind first, as they have a reputation.

Personally I think there isn’t enough legal action by common people – we always want the system (police, DPP etc) to do it, and when they fail to act, we accept it, instead of being more assertive and taking the case ourselves. However, there is a financial and emotional cost to doing so.

Sometimes a letter from a lawyer is all it takes to get the negligent party to take appropriate action. In this case we believe from the information provided that the school is the negligent party.

IP

IrishPete said :

Tooks said :

caf said :

Tooks said :

I think you misunderstand the role of defence lawyers. They can’t bring charges against anyone.

Right, that’s the role of the plods who are too busy dreaming about being on NCIS.

I refer you to the text under the submit button:

“Please read our guidelines on how to write constructive, thoughtful and positive comments. You will appear smarter, and are less likely to be moderated.

Don’t give up your day job (if you have one).

Actually anyone can bring charges against anyone. It’s called a private prosecution. However. a civil case is the more likely avenue that a private lawyer will follow.. A private lawyer can also help make the AVO system work better for you because they speak the same language as the courts/magistrates.

IP

Confusing criminal and civil matters. What do you think civil litigation would achieve in this case?

obamabinladen said :

@ Tooks everyone on RA knows your a cop or the wife of a cop so i can understand why you dislike lawyers but put your ego aside this isn’t about you its about the op’s family. Expert legal advice is what she needs. This thread is not the thread to try and take a few cheap shots at me. This kind of bullying and the neglect of the authorities can cause a person irrepairable damage or worse. It needs to be dealt with swiftly and with as much force as possible!

Don’t be a sook. You gave ridiculous advice and recommended a shit lawyer to boot. Thankfully the OP sounds intelligent enough to know what is good advice and what is bollocks. It’s not a cheap shot, it’s calling a spade a spade.

obamabinladen said :

@ Tooks not going to bite on this thread but a criminal lawyer in a criminal matter one plus one mate!

This is interesting because i went to this very school and unfortunarely it sounds even worse now which i didn’t think was possible.

Op if you want the best for your kids definately get them out of their. You definately need to take this matter all the way to the top don’t let any of these bastards get away with anything.

You’ve earned my respect and i wish you and your family the best of luck!

Like I said, not having a go because you mean well, but sorry, it was poor advice.

As someone who was bullied at school and chose not to move schools, I say seriously look into moving schools. It’s just not worth it to be stubborn and refuse to move.

As a kid I feared losing the friends I had and having to make new ones, but really I ended up with such crap friends because of situations caused by the bullying, that I am not friends with a single person from school as an adult anyway.

I’m pretty sure I would of continued to be an A and B student at a new school, instead of dropping to a C and D student at the school I stayed at.

Worried_mum, speak to the Victims of Crime. They will put you in touch with the right people (e.g. the Commissioner) who will give you fantastic support and who will take the Police to task for failing to do anything about this.

Remove your child from the school immediately and on Monday call schools in the Woden area.

I must disclose that I do work at one of these schools in Woden and my son also attends the same school. I have also worked in all but one Tuggeranong high school and really believe that you child is needing an immediate change.

I found this rather timely news story today about private investigators who track down cyber bullies;
http://www.news.com.au/national-news/nsw-act/private-eye-shocked-by-hate-campaigns/story-fndo4bst-1226646306409

The last paragraph seems to ring true to this situation “Previously you have heard governments talk tough about action they want to take, but that is generally what it is, tough talk. There is no legal basis to support these people to try and bring the nasty parties to justice.”

I’m gonna look at the picture here and say that Canberra a bullying issue.
Look at the amount of posts we’ve seen on here (workplace bullying included)
I’ve had a look at some stuff on the abs website and the census figures show that combating bullying is of the most importance to kids. I for one would like to start a conversation on what we can do.
Looking at the education website it advises that schools are to create their own policies in regards to bullying, does this mean that it is different at all schools? This should be standardized.

Hi troubled mum

Wish I had seen your letter before. You are indeed in a terrible position and these little criminals are likely to do more damage before anyone stops them. Short of organising a group of adults who are rostered on as protectors and who will walk home with bullied kids daily, (which would look great as a front page story), I think as a teacher and former high school teacher also assaulted 3 times by students, that you should take your child out of that situation immediately. There are many ways to get a good education in Canberra and if I were you I would find one. There are other schools, there is home schooling and there is distance education. Phone Karabar High Schools Distance education Centre and find out what your options are. You will need evidence to qualify. Your child does not need to tough it out or make a stand, just get them some relief and get them out of there! In the future those little criminals are likely to be on the streets or in gaol as one of those who assaulted me is now. Let her walk away – you have nothing to prove. She has the rest of her life ahead of her, let her get on with it in peace.

My best wishes, Lorese Vera

gazket said :

sounds like some kids need a good old fashioned thick ear

They do but their destiny will be their rightful punishment.

Reading that she is so used to being hit that she tells the bullies to ‘get it over with’ indicates to me that any other school would be better than this one.

Perhaps a school outside the area is the best bet as she is less likely to run into these kids while catching a bus to and from school. It may actually be better to have to leave early and get back late. Some of the schools in Woden might be an option, but I don’t know about them personally. The time she would have to spend travelling is nothing compared to what she has to go through on a daily basis at the moment, and she can relax or study.

Are there schools near where you work, if you are in paid employment?

Looking ahead, you could aim for your daughter to go to Narrabundah College for years 11 and 12. I don’t know how far ahead you are allowed to register your interest, but this is the best public college in terms of students’ results, and there must be a culture of acceptance towards bright students like your daughter. None of the people assaulting her are likely to be going there, more importantly.

sounds like some kids need a good old fashioned thick ear

Wow, you are really doing it tough! I have never dealt with anything that bad but just wanted to say that relocation is not running away and should be a genuine option for you. There may come a point where the emotional load is too much and it is wise to look for a circuit breaker. After sistemic bullying we relocated our daughter to a different high school and within 6 months with counseling was a different kid. 2yrs on and she is thriving. If you go down the road of fighting this just have a clear idea of when you will walk away. It just might not be when you have won.

Just wish you were getting more wholistic support to address a complex problem.

Dilandach said :

[
Second thing would happen, the group would be angry that they got their asses handed to them. They’d escalate in calling more cousins, boyfriends, associates to traumatise their targets further. Turning up at their house, vandalising things and seeking out the targets more often.

.

That is the most likley outcome, granted no-one was suggesting any physical action, merely a show of force. But the result , reaction to a threat, would be the same. Also where would you find a group of random thugs to make the show of force? They would probably be mates of the bullies or their families to begin with.

BelcoMan said :

I don’t see this as necessarily correct. The Bullies are so because hey are the biggest/baddest group/person in the school yard because that is the extent of their world.

I don’t suggest for one second that anyone physically attack these kids, more so that these kids be shown they aren’t the higgest/baddest ones in the area. Such a display will generally let them understand heir place in the food chain. This has been proven in the past and will be proven again.

Okay, say JohnBoy deployed riotact’s rapid response ninja team against this group. They find the group, catch them in the act and pound them all into the ground. The group would run back to their respective homes and two things would happen. First, they’d complain loudly to their parent(s) who by all accounts is just your typical f-bombing houso. The parent would call up police, media, support services and say their children were violently beaten for no reason. The riotact RRNT would then become hunted men and women.

Second thing would happen, the group would be angry that they got their asses handed to them. They’d escalate in calling more cousins, boyfriends, associates to traumatise their targets further. Turning up at their house, vandalising things and seeking out the targets more often.

Things would be bad for all involved in the defence of those bullied, it would take repeated and serious physical altercations before the message got through. Although it would be sweet sweet justice, it just wouldn’t be worth the hassle that it would cause.

These people are cowardly and they *will* whine and cry and scream at police and the other services until something is done. They’ll f-bomb and scream until something is done and most people will just do what they want to make them stop.

Saw this today and thought of the OP:

Self Defence/Personal Safety for Women and Teens

I love teaching women to feel better about themselves.

I love watching a strong, empowered woman emerge.

Come and join us for our Women’s Personal Safety Workshop.

When: Saturday 1 June 2013

Time: 12.30 p.m. – 5.00 p.m.

Location: Deakin Scout Hall, cnr Gawler Crescent, Melbourne Avenue, Deakin.

Cost: $100, or $80 with a friend.

We teach an interactive Personal Safety workshop, suitable for all women. We teach how to set boundaries, shut down an escalating situation and basic physical responses that don’t rely on strength. This workshop is about changing your mindset and approach to Personal Safety.

Please give Louise a call on 0400 1577 32 or email louisewills@grapevine.com.au to book a place.

http://www.canberraaikido.com.au

Worried_Mum, as an ex CCHS student (by quite a few years), I thought I would share this story with you as it was the thing which ensured the bullies which attempted to have a go at me never went near me again.

I have a bit of an English accent (my family is English, but I’ve never been to England), and as such I was teased about it pretty frequently (it also didn’t help that I was smarter than the average bogan and had the grades to back it up). In year 7 I started learning Tae-kwon-do, and I put with with the teasing for the first year, then in early year 8 I “snapped”.

I was walking home with a friend of mine, and again the group of guys who where the usual perps come up to me and did the usual tease thing, and I stopped, pointed at the ringleader, yelled out “F**k you” at the top of my voice and charged straight for him. I still remember his face going from the massive smile to the most worried look I’d ever seen as he turned around and bolted and his mates just stood there dumbfounded.

I chased him down the street (prob about 200 meters) before I decided I’d had enough.

I never actually laid a hand on the bully, I didn’t need to, just the absolute show of confidence against him was enough to make sure that he never bothered me again.

So before you start looking at new schools, just remember and remind your daughter, one big show of confidence is often enough to scare bullies away for good.

Stevian said :

bugalugs said :

I think the quickest, easiest and most effective way to stop this is to make the alleged bullies understand “this has to stop”.

A few cases of beers to some burly blokes at the pub or few extra containers of protein powder to some of the bigger guys at the gym.

Gives these aforementioned chaps the addresses of the “bullies” and instruct them to talk directly to the parents of these “bullies” with the message;

that your kids stop picking on other kids OR we will start picking on you!!!

You need a circuit breaker and unfortunately I think only a increased threat of retaliation will solve your problems.

You do realise this will only escalate the problem. If you’re that desperate for amusement try bear-baiting

I don’t see this as necessarily correct. The Bullies are so because hey are the biggest/baddest group/person in the school yard because that is the extent of their world.

I don’t suggest for one second that anyone physically attack these kids, more so that these kids be shown they aren’t the higgest/baddest ones in the area. Such a display will generally let them understand heir place in the food chain. This has been proven in the past and will be proven again.

I seem to recall there was a nasty incident at that school last year (?) involving a confrontation where the mothers got involved and the bullied kids and their mother ended up hiding in the staff room while the bullies and their mothers threw rocks at the windows.

Apparently a well know gang who the authorities are unwilling to touch. I wonder if the same people are involved.

bugalugs said :

I think the quickest, easiest and most effective way to stop this is to make the alleged bullies understand “this has to stop”.

A few cases of beers to some burly blokes at the pub or few extra containers of protein powder to some of the bigger guys at the gym.

Gives these aforementioned chaps the addresses of the “bullies” and instruct them to talk directly to the parents of these “bullies” with the message;

that your kids stop picking on other kids OR we will start picking on you!!!

You need a circuit breaker and unfortunately I think only a increased threat of retaliation will solve your problems.

You do realise this will only escalate the problem. If you’re that desperate for amusement try bear-baiting

Hi Worried_Mum,

So sorry to hear of the situation you and your poor child is in, I can relate in a big way to what you are going through.

My 13 y/o daughter when through something similar but we had a easy ride with the police and courts when the interim order then the 12 month order was placed, the school wasnt very helpful until the order was in place but once in place they are required to put steps in place to negate the order being breached, and if so they are to suspend the offender and notify the police.

going off the information in your story someone isnt doing their job, the school (ensuring order isnt breached) the police by not acting on the reports…The court has done their job to issue the order but the police are required to investigate each reported incident…..so I am surprised to hear that this hasnt happened.

Im not sure if the laws have changed or what the details of the order are, but if someone is pointing/laughing etc, this would count as intimidation, which should be a breach of the order, someone who is with the person conducting the same behaviour who an order hasnt been served against would also be a breach of the order as they are not allowed to harrass or intimidate on behalf of the servee…

My suggestion would be to approach the police when it does occur, explain the situation, which by most accounts the police would be aware of the person who the order has been served against, and if you get no joy, take the matter to the courts once again hopefully with the names of the people that are undertaking the threatening behaviour. It can be a very fustrating situation but at the same time when it works and you get the right people on side it is rather helpful.

@ Tooks everyone on RA knows your a cop or the wife of a cop so i can understand why you dislike lawyers but put your ego aside this isn’t about you its about the op’s family. Expert legal advice is what she needs. This thread is not the thread to try and take a few cheap shots at me. This kind of bullying and the neglect of the authorities can cause a person irrepairable damage or worse. It needs to be dealt with swiftly and with as much force as possible!

bundah said :

Can I suggest to all the rioters who have commented that we all send an email to the Chief Minister expressing our disappointment and concern that this type of bullying has been allowed to continue essentially forcing the OP to strongly consider relocating her children to a less hostile school.

Unless one is proactive nothing will ever change.

Draft one.

Tooks said :

caf said :

Tooks said :

I think you misunderstand the role of defence lawyers. They can’t bring charges against anyone.

Right, that’s the role of the plods who are too busy dreaming about being on NCIS.

I refer you to the text under the submit button:

“Please read our guidelines on how to write constructive, thoughtful and positive comments. You will appear smarter, and are less likely to be moderated.

Don’t give up your day job (if you have one).

Actually anyone can bring charges against anyone. It’s called a private prosecution. However. a civil case is the more likely avenue that a private lawyer will follow.. A private lawyer can also help make the AVO system work better for you because they speak the same language as the courts/magistrates.

IP

Worried_Mum said :

I was advised by CPS to get a referral to CAMS for my daughter, so I will have to make an appointment with our GP to go and discuss the issues and get the referral. One of the school year advisor’s this evening suggested getting the referral to go to head space. Are we able to get referrals to more than one place?

Who is CPS? (Oh, Care and Protection, I guess.)

CAMHS don’t need referral from a GP. You can phone them direct. Go through the Crisis Team Triage line – 6205 1065 cos I can’t remember the CAMHS intake line. But it does sound to me like CPS shifting responsibility. Ultimately CPS will act against you to make you protect your child, I think they’re unlikely to act against the school or the bullies, so I would steer well clear of them.

Nor, from anything I have read do I think that your child needs the public mental health service. And it’s quite likely CAMHS will say the same. And if the bullies find out she is seeing CAMHS it will give them more ammunition – quite likely some of them see CAMHS and will see her there. A private psychologist/counsellor (completely confidential) or the school counsellor (if it’s sufficiently confidential) should be all the support she needs, if she needs more than her parents can give.

But I’d be pursuing the legal angles. And the self-defence angle.

IP

I think the quickest, easiest and most effective way to stop this is to make the alleged bullies understand “this has to stop”.

A few cases of beers to some burly blokes at the pub or few extra containers of protein powder to some of the bigger guys at the gym.

Gives these aforementioned chaps the addresses of the “bullies” and instruct them to talk directly to the parents of these “bullies” with the message;

that your kids stop picking on other kids OR we will start picking on you!!!

You need a circuit breaker and unfortunately I think only a increased threat of retaliation will solve your problems.

Did I see that this is happening in PRIMARY School???? OMG disgusting. I hope everything works out for your children and personally I would change schools I know your daughter stated that she does not want to but from what you have written it is upsetting to read personally how can everyone not help you. It is wrong and should be stopped and the system needs to change.

I would talk to the dairy flat and Kambah Lions schools and make them aware of the situation with the student (they are diversionary schools) it may make the dept of education take action or at the very least get a high risk case worker onto the bully from one of the schools. I would also ask the school if the child has been referred to these schools.

I’d also get the parents of the other bullied students to take it to the p&c and school board meetings. Have all parents report the family to child services it will get action but you need several reports for child services to act. (Child services will already know about the child but it can’t hurt)..

At worst Calwell is a good close public school option.

Can I suggest to all the rioters who have commented that we all send an email to the Chief Minister expressing our disappointment and concern that this type of bullying has been allowed to continue essentially forcing the OP to strongly consider relocating her children to a less hostile school.

Unless one is proactive nothing will ever change.

beejay76 said :

Worried_Mum said :

Does anyone have current experience of public schools that don’t have a major problem with bullying? Tall ask I know, but schools are not about to offer up that information when going in to chat to them. We were painted a rosy picture of things being great under new leadership and combining to a super school.t

We are very happy with our kids school, but before I got on to spruik it, I looked up where Caroline Chisholm was. I think out school will be waaaay too far for you – we’re in Harrison. However, we are a public school, and a damn big one, that does not have a bullying problem. Of course kids can be wankers to each other, and they are, but I’m quite involved with the school and I’ve only heard of one serial harassment case. In that case the parent recommended a solution, which the school immediately employed and it was problem solved. Anyway, don’t lose hope, there are good public schools out there. Hopefully someone here has recommendations for a school that’s a bit more helpful for you than Gungahlin.

Sadly, most south side schools are awful awful places. The reasons for this are pretty clear. It’s a bit out of your way, but Stromlo and Melrose are currently very very good schools. Off the top of my head, besides the catholic schools in area, I cannot think of a closer high school that is not as bad as Chisholm.

Dear Worried_Mum

I’m sorry that your children had to go through this ordeal. I just wanted to say that I was also a victim of bullying and got close to be a victim of sexual assault. I was grateful to the student from my senior years who stood up for me, her action literally saved me from being sexually assaulted. I will always remember her.

It is disappointing to see that we are in 2013 and nothing is being done more to protect children at school from being a victim of bullying.

If it’s any consolation, I grew up just fine. I am a successful career woman earning six figure salary. It wasn’t an easy process but I definitely found my courage and grew confidence as I surround myself with great people.

I like to think all of us have options, especially when the Government and Law are not available to help or support us. The best thing that ever happened to me was when I changed school. That was another saving grace. I hope you will find that option and gain support from the community who understands – I can see a lot of support just reading responses here. I also hope that your children will grow up stronger and better – please whatever you do, DO NOT GIVE UP!

Your supporter.

Worried_Mum said :

Does anyone have current experience of public schools that don’t have a major problem with bullying? Tall ask I know, but schools are not about to offer up that information when going in to chat to them. We were painted a rosy picture of things being great under new leadership and combining to a super school.t

We are very happy with our kids school, but before I got on to spruik it, I looked up where Caroline Chisholm was. I think out school will be waaaay too far for you – we’re in Harrison. However, we are a public school, and a damn big one, that does not have a bullying problem. Of course kids can be wankers to each other, and they are, but I’m quite involved with the school and I’ve only heard of one serial harassment case. In that case the parent recommended a solution, which the school immediately employed and it was problem solved. Anyway, don’t lose hope, there are good public schools out there. Hopefully someone here has recommendations for a school that’s a bit more helpful for you than Gungahlin.

Brianna said :

Times like this, I think it’s time to get a thug with a balaclava and a baseball bat to beat the crap out of the bullies and tell them the reason. If done properly, they wouldn’t be identified and the bullies would be very sore. You have done all the legal things. Maybe it’s time to take it to the end?

This …

is the dumbest response yet.

My experience with local teenagers is more around Telopea and Narrabundah schools. These kids can pick on each other a bit and make some kids feel excluded. I knew a French teenager with a diplomatic background who had no trouble with adults or older kids but struggled to get along with the local bogans and an awkward girl who discovered bullying following her away from school with random kids she barely knew asking for her at work or refusing to come in when they saw she was working.

But these are drops in the ocean. As you come a little further North you find the schools are more ofa socioeconomic mix. Rich kids from Forrest are in the same public school as Narrabundah ratbags so there’s less tendency to single out the rich kid who must be feeling vulnerable now that she’s out of her private school. They tend to form their little groups of like minded kids and the groups that don’t belong together rather just don’t interact much.

Plus these kids have cafes to haunt, they catch a bus to civic, go to a movie, they have better things to do than pick on each other all evening after school.

As much as we would all like to take the high ground when it comes to bullies sometimes the safest and quickest way to deal with a situation like this is to relocate your child/children to another school.

You can stick it out at the current school but it is guaranteed that your children will continue to be bullied with no help being given by any authorities, these bullies have long since abandoned any respect of authority figures and will continue to rule the roost at the school.

You are spending so much time and effort beating your head against a brick wall with this that it would be much simpler and safer just to relocate your children to another school imo. Then your children can relax and apply themselves fully to gaining their education. Meanwhile the bullies they left behind will continue their march towards their goal of being the Chav’s of the future.

Just read that the school is Caroline Chisholm, that was the school I wrote about in my previous post, In that case I would highly urge you to remove her as soon as you can the school is an extremely violent place and in my opinion needs to be closed and started over with completely new staff, there are a handful of good staff there but they don’t have the authority to do anything.
In the past the school has tried to cover up serious issues so I wouldn’t trust anything they tell you and if you go to camhs make sure she sees the same person every time as they have a habit of passing patients around which hinders progress.
If you’ve got any questions feel free to ask me.

Brianna said :

Times like this, I think it’s time to get a thug with a balaclava and a baseball bat to beat the crap out of the bullies and tell them the reason. If done properly, they wouldn’t be identified and the bullies would be very sore. You have done all the legal things. Maybe it’s time to take it to the end?

While it may be the only thing that they understand (Don’t ever let any bully expert make you think otherwise) and satisfying at the same time, the very things that are set up to support victims of bullying would be used in their benefit. They’d bleat to anyone and everyone who would listen and you’d sitting in a cell because of those deadbeats.

I know, its frustrating as hell. They do it and everyone’s hands are tied but if you do it then its like the wrath of god raining down as people trip over themselves to punish you.

Just take heed in the knowledge that they’re going to live lives that are full of violence, low incomes, stints in jail and very little in the way of actual happiness. Thankfully sometimes short lives.

well it sounds like your options are:
1. beat the living crap out of the bullies so that they never dream of approaching your kids again
2. moving to a different school since the incompetent authorities are unwilling to do anything.

I suppose you could also file civil suit against the people in question and sue them out of their homes (if they own one).

your daughter’s desire to not be forced out of her schools is honourable but impractical. look, there are assholes everywhere in the world. you can’t beat them at their own game without becoming a bigger asshole than they are. if the people charged with enforcing rules are not willing to do the right thing, then the main priority should be (in my opinion) getting the kids in a healthy environment where they can learn and enjoy life without being in fear for their safety.

in short, switch schools. sue the pants off the people involved and their guardians if you can and take your kids on a nice holiday with the proceeds (send postcards to the bullies’ families while you’re at it), but get the kids out of that toxic environment asap.

oh, and name the schools. whatever the regulations, they need to be doing more and they deserve to be identified for not doing more.

Worried_Mum said :

My daughter feels she can protect herself one on one, but these kids never fight fair and will only do so in numbers. She has hit the stage of not caring and has flat out told one of the girls to just hit her and get it over with, the kid just ran to hide behind her group of friends and mouthed off that they will all be waiting for her after school.

Standard modus operandi. As I said, they’re cowardly.

Worried_Mum said :

But I will also look into martial arts to help her reinvigorate her self worth and confidence.

It absolutely will, I hope you do.

Worried_Mum said :

Talking with the parents is out of the question, when the ring leader assaulted my youngest child and the school told us to go to the police, we attended the station mentioned this kids first name and were told she is known to police and we need to take out a protection order.

When attending court to have final issues ordered we already had a few cases of breach of the interim orders and when speaking to the registrar we advised that there are 3 other children who are also in the process of going through the courts with the ring leader.

The registrar looked up the other cases before speaking with the other party and when she came back to our little room, she informed us that the child’s mother is not too happy with her ( the registrar) as she was blaming it all on my daughter, saying that she is causing all the problems and harassing the ring leader.

Yep, they attempt to play the victim themselves. Which in turn causes the gullible few in the support services to lap it up and then victimise the victim.

Worried_Mum said :

The Registrar queried the mother and asked if that was the case then why is her child before the courts another 3 times this week. The response from the mother “That’s none of your F#$king business”.

Unsurprising. I am however surprised the mother was able to string together that many words. You’re dealing with the knuckle dragging class. Meetings, sessions and court appearances only reinforce their view that they’ve been hard done over by society.

They do not have the mental capacity to understand that their actions can cause harm.

Worried_Mum said :

I think I know that I have to move schools, but I worry about bullies at the next school, private school is out of the question at the moment, they have only just moved to this school because private schooling was becoming too expensive.

One thing to be aware of and I don’t mean to worry you further is that if you do move school, it is possible that someone will know someone and it will follow. The best thing to do is not to let anyone from the old school know before hand what the new school is. It may not even be an issue but it was for me when I moved schools, although that was a smaller town and Canberra may be big enough.

Worried_Mum said :

It’s only now that I have heard from another parent whose child was bullied at this school to the point that she brought a knife to school and she was the one to get into trouble. Not a wise move on the kid’s part, but she obviously felt like she had to do something.

As I said, the most frustrating thing is that all the people or services that were apathetic in their response suddenly swing into action when its against you.

Worried_Mum said :

Thanks again for your advice and input, it means a lot

I sincerely hope that you get resolution in one form or another. Reassure your daughter / kids that although highschool may seem to be everything socially, it really isn’t. Succeed in highschool and move onto better things while those other kids languish after having teen pregnancies, stints in jail, abusive relationships and drug issues. Who then sit on the porch of their housing commission house furrowing their monobrows about where life went wrong for them as they concern themselves with a future filled with low paying menial and dirty jobs.

Worried_Mum said :

Someone at work has sent me a link to a small pen camera which can’t zoom in, so I will talk to my husband about investing in one of these for the walk home.

If you want to go down that path, then there are some very nifty and very subtle devices available, e.g.: http://www.bhphotovideo.com/c/product/836317-REG/Bolide_Technology_Group_CAMSTICK_WATCH_Mini_Spy_Video_Camcorder.html

However I would feel remiss not to mention that the use of such a device could breach provisions of the Listening Devices Act. I suspect the desired use here would be okay because of an exclusion in the Act for protecting one’s lawful interests, but thought I should mention it just in case.

Something has really gone wrong with the system when violent kids have multiple protection orders against them, which they ignore, and nothing further can really be done.

@ Tooks not going to bite on this thread but a criminal lawyer in a criminal matter one plus one mate!

This is interesting because i went to this very school and unfortunarely it sounds even worse now which i didn’t think was possible.

Op if you want the best for your kids definately get them out of their. You definately need to take this matter all the way to the top don’t let any of these bastards get away with anything.

You’ve earned my respect and i wish you and your family the best of luck!

I don’t believe a word of any of this – after all, the Caroline Chisholm School website states that the school has:

“Clear and diligently followed anti bullying and anti harassment procedures”

( http://www.chisholm.act.edu.au/our_school – under the heading ‘Individual Pastoral Care’)

Anyway, with Joy Birch on the case, I’m sure the issue will be resolved sometime around June 2530……..

The really sad situation is that the system ie.bureaucracy,police,justice etc has failed you and your children.I have little doubt that you are not alone for i believe that there are other children from different schools who are currently being subjected to this dreadful type of bullying and may be experiencing similar difficulties in having their particular bullying issues resolved.

As i’ve said previously,short of having them beaten to a pulp,the most effective method of immediately resolving this problem is to relocate your children to a more civilised school.

You can’t make people listen to you if they don’t want to. The police have done all they can, the school isn’t interested in solving the problem. You are the only person who can make a change happen.

Private schools, especially catholic, will offer fee discounts or scholarships for particular circumstances. I would look into that as a matter of urgency for your daughter. The sooner you remove her from that school the better. Her good academic results can only help with getting her into another school. Other public schools in Canberra are apparently quite good as well. I’ve heard positive things about the ones in the Woden area.

The important thing is to intervene now before it gets worse.

You have tried playing by the rules with the school and the police and it hasn’t worked. Time to change the game plan and get your child out of that environment and get her into martial arts ASAP (Kung fu is good as suggested by someone else – the pai lum school is fine as is the Canberra Wing Chung Academy in Phillip) my friend has been to both and he suggests that for kids the latter is better.

As an aside, my friends daughter goes to the Wing Chung school (she is 9) and I was at a party where an older boy was trying to fight with her – wrestling, chasing her – and she pulled a kung fu move on him that had him flat on his back on the floor. He left her alone after that.

Do those two things as soon as possible and it can only be a step in the right direction. Good luck.

Times like this, I think it’s time to get a thug with a balaclava and a baseball bat to beat the crap out of the bullies and tell them the reason. If done properly, they wouldn’t be identified and the bullies would be very sore. You have done all the legal things. Maybe it’s time to take it to the end?

I can’t really add anything, Worried Mum, other than good luck and it sounds like you’re doing everything in your power to help your daughter. These cowards make my blood boil. Keep reporting breaches of the order and if police can’t act, make sure you get an acceptable explanation as to why not. It can be tricky to prove a breach, although not knowing the details of these breaches, it’s hard to comment.

I feel for you and I think everyone here probably feels the same.

It’s strikes me as unbelievably unfair for the best solution to be for you daughter to change schools, even if it’s the most straight-forward. She shouldn’t have to find a whole new group of friends because some of her peers are scum-sucking excuses for human beings. Can I recommend the use of extreme violence against the perpetrators? I was a victim of similar ongoing, targeted bullying in high school and I regret to this day not bringing a brick to the playground and braining the ring-leader.

But to be realistic, in your shoes I would kick up as much of a stink as possible, demand action from the school, from the police and from the department of education. If that doesn’t prove fruitful, publicly shaming the school and bullies involved (and their families) would be a good next step. If you can’t make the school expel the bullies then you can make sure the whole city know what wonderful human beings they are. If you can convince your daughter to bait them on FaceBook with a “Why do you hate me?” kind of message. It MIGHT open up a thoughtful dialogue but mainly I’m suggesting it because it will most likely result in more threats/harrassment that you will have a written example of to take to the school/police.

I sit here with tears streaming down my face. Community does exist just not in the numbers it requires to stamp these problems out. I thank you all for responding and giving me more ideas on avenues that we can take.

I will try and answer the questions that have been asked.

The gist of the orders is no contact, not to be within 100 meters outside of school and not within 10 meters at school, not to harass, intimidate or threaten, not to damage property, not to take possessions, not allowed to make someone else to do any of the above.

School is the Caroline Chisholm School. Some staff have been exceptional and are having the same road blocks that I am with department of education and also the police. Some staff not so helpful and don’t seem to have a sense of urgency until I mentioned that I had emailed the Canberra times. Not that that did any good. But here we are today with the same problems occurring again and again.

We have a counselling session set up for next week with Salvation Army and the school counsellor.

The girls have a smart phone, but the police have said they will not accept it as evidence as the camera has zoom functionality. Someone at work has sent me a link to a small pen camera which can’t zoom in, so I will talk to my husband about investing in one of these for the walk home.

My daughter feels she can protect herself one on one, but these kids never fight fair and will only do so in numbers. She has hit the stage of not caring and has flat out told one of the girls to just hit her and get it over with, the kid just ran to hide behind her group of friends and mouthed off that they will all be waiting for her after school.

But I will also look into martial arts to help her reinvigorate her self worth and confidence.

Talking with the parents is out of the question, when the ring leader assaulted my youngest child and the school told us to go to the police, we attended the station mentioned this kids first name and were told she is known to police and we need to take out a protection order.

When attending court to have final issues ordered we already had a few cases of breach of the interim orders and when speaking to the registrar we advised that there are 3 other children who are also in the process of going through the courts with the ring leader.

The registrar looked up the other cases before speaking with the other party and when she came back to our little room, she informed us that the child’s mother is not too happy with her ( the registrar) as she was blaming it all on my daughter, saying that she is causing all the problems and harassing the ring leader.

The Registrar queried the mother and asked if that was the case then why is her child before the courts another 3 times this week. The response from the mother “That’s none of your F#$king business”.

I did get a phone call today from a Sergeant who was working for Minister Burch’s office and I lodged a complaint with him for the issues, he said someone will be in contact to talk with me and once the complaint is finalised the minister will respond to my email.

I feel like the above contact is going to get individuals in trouble and that is not what I want to achieve (although some of the officers do need a kick in the pants there were some who are fantastic and are also fed up and try to do drive bys when they can).

I want my kids to be happy and safe and be able to walk home without fear and without being followed and secondly to have things changed so that no other student and parents have to endure this.

I was advised by CPS to get a referral to CAMS for my daughter, so I will have to make an appointment with our GP to go and discuss the issues and get the referral. One of the school year advisor’s this evening suggested getting the referral to go to head space. Are we able to get referrals to more than one place?

I think I know that I have to move schools, but I worry about bullies at the next school, private school is out of the question at the moment, they have only just moved to this school because private schooling was becoming too expensive.

Does anyone have current experience of public schools that don’t have a major problem with bullying? Tall ask I know, but schools are not about to offer up that information when going in to chat to them. We were painted a rosy picture of things being great under new leadership and combining to a super school.

It’s only now that I have heard from another parent whose child was bullied at this school to the point that she brought a knife to school and she was the one to get into trouble. Not a wise move on the kid’s part, but she obviously felt like she had to do something.

Thanks again for your advice and input, it means a lot

obamabinladen said :

I know compensation lawyers sounds a bit funny but if your child is being bullied and the cops and the education department won’t act they’re breaching their duty of care. If this is causing your child and your family psychological problems you are entitled to compensation. The second the two departments i mentioned above realise their back pocket will be affected watch the hoops they jump through to fix the problem.

Please stop trying to give ridiculous advice. I know you mean well, but ffs, you are so far off the mark it’s embarrassing.

caf said :

Tooks said :

I think you misunderstand the role of defence lawyers. They can’t bring charges against anyone.

Right, that’s the role of the plods who are too busy dreaming about being on NCIS.

I refer you to the text under the submit button:

“Please read our guidelines on how to write constructive, thoughtful and positive comments. You will appear smarter, and are less likely to be moderated.

Don’t give up your day job (if you have one).

I know compensation lawyers sounds a bit funny but if your child is being bullied and the cops and the education department won’t act they’re breaching their duty of care. If this is causing your child and your family psychological problems you are entitled to compensation. The second the two departments i mentioned above realise their back pocket will be affected watch the hoops they jump through to fix the problem.

Like i said lawyer up and go after the school the cops the education department and the kids and the family. Talk to kamy sayeedi or if cash is low go to the personal injury/compensation lawyers where no win no pay. I promise you that your case is strong. A lawyer will have your back 100% thats why they charge so much. Dragging this family to court would cause financial problems for them which alone would probably stop the bullying. You can’t go wrong by lawyering up. Can’t stress this enough!!!

Leon said :

A $30 USB audio recorder, stored out of sight in a pocket, can record evidence of verbal threats (though it probably can’t be used in court because it’s technically illegal to record a private conversation without the other person’s knowledge).

Someone will correct me if I’m wrong, but my understanding is that recordings are legit if one party in a conversation consents to the recording, which would be the daughter.

Barcham said :

I would think about mentioning the school when discussing this matter. You may find the school is suddenly capable of doing a lot more to help once their name starts being mentioned publicly in relation to problem bullying, but be careful not to get into defamation territory. Certainly don’t go pointing fingers at individuals.

Agreed. And remember, truth is an absolute defence to defamation.

This is crap and I feel for you and your family. I understand some of the responses, but I believe that confronting the parents of a child with several protection orders would only make things worse for your daughter and potentially affect your safety too. Kids learn this shitty behaviour from somewhere, and I’m guessing it’s not the Disney channel. People who suggest a friendly chat with whatever makes up this horrible child’s family unit over biscuits and cocoa are living in a fantasy world.

I know you didn’t like the police response about changing schools and your daughter doesn’t want to change either, but that really seems like the most sensible (not to mention safest) option.

Best of luck with this horrible mess that has been forced upon you and your family.

Tooks said :

I think you misunderstand the role of defence lawyers. They can’t bring charges against anyone.

Right, that’s the role of the plods who are too busy dreaming about being on NCIS.

Dilandach said :

The sweetest day was one of the people who bullied me in school, emptying the bins in my office.

Unfortunately the victims of serious bullying are just as likely to end up in that position.

The OP needs to either cut their losses and move the kids or seriously up the ante to the point that it starts making things seriously unpleasant for the staff – it has to get to the point where it becomes a problem for them – though if they can’t get it into the media there may not be a lot more that can be done. – A starting point would be naming the school right here right now though.

If the school and cops won’t do anything now, I doubt having video will help.

Change schools. Immediately. Ideally to the private system.

Changing schools, counsellling, learning martial arts, and reporting verbal or physical assaults to the police are all good ideas. If you can substantiate a verbal or physical assault (e.g. through an independent witness) then you have a case that you can take to court.

If you don’t get a satisfactory response at any level, then escalate the issue to that person’s boss.

It will help if you can arrange an adult escort for your daughter. As she leaves school each day, she can use a digital camera to make a video recording of her trip home. If she is threatened, the threat will be recorded. If not, you can simply delete the video. A $30 USB audio recorder, stored out of sight in a pocket, can record evidence of verbal threats (though it probably can’t be used in court because it’s technically illegal to record a private conversation without the other person’s knowledge).

Hmm… what sprang to my mind was evidence gathering. A small spy camera hidden in the strap of your daughters school bag or somewhere else, where it would see what she sees. She can turn it on just before she leaves the school premises. It is hard for police or parent to deny that kind of evidence.

I think the advice for your daughter to take up a martial art is not a bad one – there are martial arts that are completely non-agressive and defensive. Even if your daughter doesn’t ever use them, the bully is likely to find out that she is trained (though I would try not to let that leak out until she has done a few classes) and leave her alone, since most bullies are essentially cowards.

Your daughter is very brave and you are right to be proud of her.

Another fan of martial arts. I was incarcerated at a boarding school many many years ago. Bastardisation and bullying went with the territory. One student in our dorm (year 7 these days) had reputedly had boxing lessons at the YMCA. He never had a hand laid on him!

With this experience, my three kids learned judo during primary school. None were particularly talented at it, but none ever had a problem with bullies.

My suggestion would be to enroll daught in self defence classes, and some time later (6 months could be ideal), switch schools. Potential bullies at the new school would, I suspect, think twice.

I am disturbed to read what your daughter is going through. My middle daughter (now 16) told me that she was being bullied when we lived somewhere else, and I never actually took it seriously. I should have, because it changed her personality, and did nothing for our relationship with each other. Five years ago we moved to Canberra, and the change in my daughter was astronomical!! I know you are taking this matter seriously, which is great to hear.

I agree with:
* learning martial arts (and being aware of what she can and cannot do),
* continuing to contact the police – to get rid of you maybe they will do something – highly unlikely, but there is that chance
* contacting ACA and Today Tonight – perhaps even ‘The Project’. Unfortunately it seems that it is correct in saying the squeaky wheel gets the results!
* organising your own counselling – see a GP and get a Mental Health Care Plan for her and if you have private health you will be able to claim some of the costs (not sure about Medicare – sorry). If you work for the public service you can access EAP counselling for both you and your daughter (highly recommended if you can access it).
* most of all, unfortunately your daughter should change schools. Understandably your daughter wants to be the ‘bigger person’ however in this instance, it may be the better thing for her in the long run. My kids go to a Catholic school that abhors bullying – yes it still happens – but gee they are onto it quicker than you can bat an eyelid!!

I wouldn’t go near the parents, as it has been already said – the apple does not fall far from the tree!!

You have been given some great advice, but only you can choose what path you wish to take. I do wish you both the best with this, as it can be a very daunting process.

OP, my son was bullied in school, and there really was nothing we could do about it. The school did their best, but they’ve got rules, procedures etc, and they’re limited in what they can do, particularly off school grounds. Similarly, I sympathise that it seems the police aren’t helpful, but there’s limits on them too. I agree with many other posters that changing schools may be the most appropriate action.

Martial arts is an interesting one. My son took that up and while it didn’t make him go around beating up his tormentors, it did give him a huge boost to his self-confidence and self-esteem. That was what finally worked for him. He learned to have self-discipline, how to react and how to control situations, backed up by the knowledge that he could protect himself if necessary. He’s 27 now, and the martial arts experience shaped his life very positively. He did Pai Lum Kung Fu and there’s some good women involved in that club.

I’m not even comfortable being in buildings that don’t have a back door! In a physical threat I just call the police and press the panic buttons like woman alone at night, alcohol, etc.

Dilandach said :

The bullying tag is over used, the above is one such example.

In actual bullying cases, walking away gets you nothing but a punch to the back of the head. It’s as stupid as other suggestions from so called ‘experts’, I remember one asinine suggestion was ‘laugh with the bullies!’. Idiotic responses with no grounding in reality.

Whoa! Wasn’t stupid enough to suggest literally turning eyes away from a physical threat but had in mind winning the fight by 100 metres out better yet a couple of postcodes!

Getting your child to video the incidents is probably only going to result in broken or stolen equipment, Better off getting someone else, perhaps you to do it.

Voice recording is not as effective, but more likely to be achievable.

Just a thought, does your daughter have something that can record video / audio? (eg a mobile phone).

Next time a breach happens, make sure your daughter records it. It’s pretty hard to say “it wasn’t me” when the video evidence proves otherwise.

I’m also not normally one for lawyering up, BUT…. I think in this case, that may be the exact thing you need to do. I’d say both the school and the police have failed in their duty of care in this situation.

Also +1 for self defense classes….

If you can afford it, move your daughter to a school that has the power and will to expel kids who act like this gang. The current school sounds useless, so anywhere else will be an improvement.

Your daughter’s mental and physical health is at risk. It sounds like retreat will be the best option.

She must be an extremely intelligent girl to be doing so well under these circumstances. Very best wishes to you both (and to your other children).

BimboGeek said :

A personal anecdote to support the walking away angle.

I got bullied at work last week and walked out after 3 days. I was being bullied because the established team members were demonstrably and measurably doing their jobs wrong and I assumed they were untrained… So they decided to move me off the job I was hired to do and give me demeaning duties. On Monday I start a dream job with beautiful people who are just as perfectionist and picky as me so won’t dream of responding to my perfectionism as if it’s a personal insult and trying to put me “in my place.” Instead we look forward to exchanging skills and experience.

There’s no shame in walking away from shh!t. They are the ones left standing in it and I’m the one dipped in chocolate and thrown to the lesbians.

The bullying tag is over used, the above is one such example.

In actual bullying cases, walking away gets you nothing but a punch to the back of the head. It’s as stupid as other suggestions from so called ‘experts’, I remember one asinine suggestion was ‘laugh with the bullies!’. Idiotic responses with no grounding in reality.

This is terrible.

but it seems like you have covered all angles already. Sad that the police can’t do anything at all, or the school.

Although it is wrong, it seems to me that moving schools and starting serious self defence is the thing to do.

If you are already worried enough to seek councelling for your daughter and worry about suicide, stop trying to fight fair against an unfair system, and just get your kids out of there.

sue the school for a breach of their duty of care

http://www.lawhandbook.org.au/handbook/ch06s03s02.php

obamabinladen said :

Omg this is a horrifying story but if i was you i’d speak to Kamy Saeedi. Kamy is the best criminal defence lawyer in town in my opinion. Im no expert but he should be able to help you bring charges against the school, the police, the education department and the scumbags who are tormenting your children. Kamy is the best and doesn’t come cheap but when its your kids lives in danger you can’t afford not to and he is also wonderful guy and would definately be able to help.

I think you misunderstand the role of defence lawyers. They can’t bring charges against anyone.

As far as him being the best, you’d have to ask all his clients in AMC.

devils_advocate said :

Self-defence/martial arts is great so long as it is accompanied by realistic expectations of what it can achieve. It is more dangerous to THINK you can fight, and not be able to, than to go in knowing you can’t fight. Martial arts will give you self confidence, sure. But it won’t enable a single, smaller, unarmed person to take on multiple, larger, attackers, bruce-lee style.

Totally agree. Martial arts training makes you better than you would be if you didn’t have it. That may not equate to being better than your opponent.

There is also no guarantee that the bullies haven’t had their own training.

Also despite what movies sometimes show, fighting against two opponents is really really hard. Three or more is a nightmare.

It is hard to know what to do in a situation like this. If you don’t take physical action back you’re seen as weak and therefore a great target. If you do take action back, as opthers have pointed out, you get accused of being the bully and they play the victim. Or are they private school kidswhi get sneaky and nasty?

As others have said, enrole your child in self defence clases as the first of several steps.

Second, get out there and film this happening. Then go to that wonderful people’s alternative, the Media. A good story on A Current Affair of Today Tonight will get things moving. The squeeky wheel gets things done.

Again, as other have pointed out lots of kids, and their parents have no respect for authority these days. I get them on the school runs all the time. Little buggers know we have no real authority over them. I’ve had ones threaten to sue me for seperating them when they are attacking other kids. I’ve even had ones gthreaten to tell the police I was mollesting them (compleatly untrue) when I warn them not to attack others. You should have seen the look on his face when I stopped the bus, called the police and (after 45 minutes) when they turned up I replayed my video footage he got haulled off the bus. I had to take out a restraining order against a few, and sadly that does not stop them or heir parents until I show video footage to the police or school. Most of the kids are great, but the bad ones take advantage of them.

If you know kids are going to be meeting your daughter, get out there with a video camera (iphone anyone?) and video it, wak out there confidently and help your daughter. If you are public property it is perfectly legal to video record what you can observe on that public property (unless nudity is involved but that’s another story).

Also, what ever became of neighbourhood watches and safety houses in this city? We had them, why don’t we have them now? It is clear you need to join / form one in your suburb and give your daughter options of safe refuges to seek where she can wait till you or the police arrive.

Finally, which suburb is this school in? Just so I know to avoid doing any school runs to or from it.

A personal anecdote to support the walking away angle.

I got bullied at work last week and walked out after 3 days. I was being bullied because the established team members were demonstrably and measurably doing their jobs wrong and I assumed they were untrained… So they decided to move me off the job I was hired to do and give me demeaning duties. On Monday I start a dream job with beautiful people who are just as perfectionist and picky as me so won’t dream of responding to my perfectionism as if it’s a personal insult and trying to put me “in my place.” Instead we look forward to exchanging skills and experience.

There’s no shame in walking away from shh!t. They are the ones left standing in it and I’m the one dipped in chocolate and thrown to the lesbians.

Strap a camera to your kid and film the incidents. This may help with the police as the bullies cannot deny the incident.

But I think the time has come for a lawyer.

Holy geesus that is some obsessive behaviour by the bullies. I mean we had “bullies” in our school but they never fixated on one set of kids like these ones seem to do, they’d pick on a few one week, get sick of that then move onto others. This is crazy. Sorry I can’t offer more help.

Genie said :

Strongly recommend enrolling them in self defence classes. Not so they can beat up their bullies, but so you can build their confidence back up (of course being able to defend yourself should physical violence occur is a bonus)

Self-defence/martial arts is great so long as it is accompanied by realistic expectations of what it can achieve. It is more dangerous to THINK you can fight, and not be able to, than to go in knowing you can’t fight. Martial arts will give you self confidence, sure. But it won’t enable a single, smaller, unarmed person to take on multiple, larger, attackers, bruce-lee style.

My nieces were constantly bullied at school. We were fed up with the school doing nothing after endless hospital visits and endless days of convincing them to go to school. Police weren’t much help as the students were under 12.

Each school is allocated a Community Liaison officer. Call them on 62055429. They were extremely helpful in our situation. Thankfully the bullying has stopped (mostly) and they were even friends for awhile.

Strongly recommend enrolling them in self defence classes. Not so they can beat up their bullies, but so you can build their confidence back up (of course being able to defend yourself should physical violence occur is a bonus)

Sorry to hear about the trouble you’re having, I graduated one of the schools with a worse reputation two years ago and my advice to you is to get her out as soon as you can, the system my school had in place for bullying consisted of a bully being put on a behavior contract which was basically a piece of paper where they would write that they’d stop, nothing would happen if it was breached.
In serious cases the students were put in separate classes but nothing was done to keep them separate at lunch breaks, Eventually staff would turn a blind eye to serious bullying because there was nothing else they could do.
There were several cases of serious violence requiring hospitalization which took place in front of staff and parents, The resolution to these was that the bullies agreed to change schools.
While your daughters position is commendable I feel that her state of safety and mind is too precious to risk to these people and I would think she’d do better learning at a school where she feels safe.

Barcham said :

My advice is change schools. I know it’s not ideal, I know it’s not as “noble” or as “brave” and wading through the abuse and fighting on. I know as a high-schooler the idea of starting somewhere new and losing whatever friends you have seems terrifying, but if you’re at the point where you are seriously worried about your children’s mental and physical well being then step one is to get them to safety.

If your kids wont leave, then fight some more, and never ever stop.

+1

Make sure your kids know the number for the Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) because there’s some things you can’t talk to Mum about. Lifeline (13 11 14) and Suicide Callback Service (1300 659 467) are also excellent resources. For face-to-face work, headspace work specifically with young people, although I believe there is a waiting list.

I really hope you can find a way through and, if not find justice, at least find peace.

I don’t have much experience when it comes to dealing with bullies, having been teased at school but to no means the degree you express in your post.

My one suggestion if you are finding it hard to prove orders have been breached is to get your children to walk home with a video camera, video everything that occurs. In the first instance this may act as a deterrent alternatively it will gather fairly irrefutable evidence. If nothing happens after that some youtube uploads with the schools name in the topic might provoke the school to act.

It would be understandable if your children felt uncomfortable doing this, but its just a suggestion.

Pitchka said :

This is the one thing that worries me the most about my kids, although they are still young, the thought of them being bullied later in their teen lives is always a scary thought.

As long as you give them the tools early, they’ll be fine.

Pitchka said :

Now i dont condone what im about to write, and not everyone would do this, but id have no issues showing these thugs a little bit of justice, especially if i had gone to a similiar effort as the OP to protect my child from this scum. I wouldnt care who is watching, id be prepares to go to jail if it meant knowing my kids were safe.

Agreed, even I’m itching for some ‘street justice’ because I’ve been on the receiving end of such behaviour *but* as I said, these types are absolute cowards and if you beat their asses down then they will cry to everyone who will listen and those very services and people that you begged to do something and ended up doing nothing but saying their hands are tied will come out of the woodwork and suddenly whip into action in support of the bully who is now the ‘victim’. That’s what will happen. It is a lose lose situation. Although highly satisfying initially.

Pitchka said :

A very close family member of mine was a bully growing up. They are unable to even watch stories on TV about bullies, in particular those about suicide as a result of bullying, without breaking down…Its a shame it took them this long to realise the damage their actions were causing.
If only these kids knew what effects their actions were having on others, sooner rather than later.

They know. They always know. The kings of the playground end up the paupers of life.

I was victim of various degrees of bullying all though high school and college, culminating in me being jumped in the Belconnen Interchange by about 10 of my school peers one night and rather soundly beaten.

It was not pleasant, and my nose still clicks when pressed and has a bump from where it was broken.

I had friends who copped it much worse than I did.

I was a stubborn kid, and refused to move schools. Instead I did what you have already tried and dragged the ringleader of the group into a courtroom to face me and get a restraining order on him. For me it worked. They left me, and other friends of mine, alone after that.

The school were next to no help, and the principal actively discouraged me from taking the matter to court, seemingly more concerned with school’s reputation than the safety of his students.

I would think about mentioning the school when discussing this matter. You may find the school is suddenly capable of doing a lot more to help once their name starts being mentioned publicly in relation to problem bullying, but be careful not to get into defamation territory. Certainly don’t go pointing fingers at individuals.

Despite getting these kids off my back I had to go to school with them every day after that. I had to pass them in the corridors, and while I was no scared of being harmed physically, seeing the guys who busted up my nose constantly made school a stressful unpleasant place.

It’s hard as a teenager to understand just how short the time you spend at high school is, and how much better life is on the outside. You just can’t see it from where you’re standing. People telling you ‘It’s just a few years” or “Life is better when you grow up” doesn’t really help. Life IS school then.

My advice is change schools. I know it’s not ideal, I know it’s not as “noble” or as “brave” and wading through the abuse and fighting on. I know as a high-schooler the idea of starting somewhere new and losing whatever friends you have seems terrifying, but if you’re at the point where you are seriously worried about your children’s mental and physical well being then step one is to get them to safety.

If your kids wont leave, then fight some more, and never ever stop.

This is the one thing that worries me the most about my kids, although they are still young, the thought of them being bullied later in their teen lives is always a scary thought.

Now i dont condone what im about to write, and not everyone would do this, but id have no issues showing these thugs a little bit of justice, especially if i had gone to a similiar effort as the OP to protect my child from this scum. I wouldnt care who is watching, id be prepares to go to jail if it meant knowing my kids were safe.

A very close family member of mine was a bully growing up. They are unable to even watch stories on TV about bullies, in particular those about suicide as a result of bullying, without breaking down…Its a shame it took them this long to realise the damage their actions were causing.
If only these kids knew what effects their actions were having on others, sooner rather than later.

I agree with Dilandach. It is quite distressing to read what you are going through. I can’t help you with any legal advice but I back Dilandach’s recommendation that you have your children begin a self defence class.

I am a memeber of a reputable martial arts club in Canberra and we often have children joining for the very reason that they are being bullied. Martial Arts builds confidence but also provides the tools and knowledge of what to do when you are caught in a sticky situation. My instructor also takes a personal interest in kids that are bullied (and interestingly kids that are bullies), providing them with personal advice and guidance in respect of their situation. We have had many success stories from these children and knowing this I hope that you will consider giving Martial Arts a go as I feel that this may be something at least that is within your control.

I wish you the best in your plight and pretty sure the rest of the Riot Act community are behind you.

Ok you seem to have a very middle class work ethic.

Any cousins or adults who have nothing better to do than bully a teenager obviously live in a different world view.

If this is the case there is no point talking to the parents. Working class and close families (close enough that cousins socialise daily) value blind loyalty to each other over loyalty to values. In many ways this is good because they know their family will love them if they screw up but in this case it’s obviously gone too far with family enabling wrong behaviors.

It seems like you’re in the suburbs, I’m sure you’d move her if there was an easy bus to another school. Is there a Catholic school near you? They aren’t so very expensive but out draws a slightly different demographic and might be worth a try. They definitely don’t require you to be Catholic and at this age she might be interested in learning about religion for anthropological or philosophical reasons.

Approach a private school to see if they can help. Despite all the s*** some people and governments throw at them they are run by compassionate people and under certain circumstances they will accept students at concessional rates if you are financially stretched.
Having said that, I wonder what’s in the Gonski plan is to combat bullying. Unless bullying on this scale is eleiminated then getting “a well funded education” will be academic.

Enrique sorry mate but that advice is bloody disastrous!!! For kids to act like this can you imagine what the parent would be like? I say parent on purpose because i guarantee atleast one parent is in gaol or non existant.

Scumbag kid equals scumbag parents. This person sounds like they’ve exhausted their options and now they need expert legal advice!!!

The schools really are in a hands tied position. It sounds silly when they tell you that. But everyone is against them. Don’t expect to hear back from the dept of education. Or if you do it won’t be helpful.

I understand your daughters frustration. But realistically she needs to change schools. And somewhere well away from that area. I agree, she shouldn’t have to change, but in this day and age, they won’t budge. At the end of the day this kid will grow up, assault someone and end up in gaol, but that doesn’t help you now.

It’s a stupid situation and something that shouldn’t happen, but it does. You think we’d be in a position to do more, but we’re now in a society where most of the time the guilty have more rights than the innocent. I’m sure people will say that isn’t so, but it is. It’s also a bad situation for the legal system. The gaols are full, instead of building more they’re made to look into diversionary programs, but these don’t work for most people.

That doesn’t help you, but it points to a sad state of affairs in the system. Get your daughter out of that school.

enrique said :

It’s not easy – that’s for sure. Especially if you’ve had past issues with them. But keep trying – turn up with an olive branch a few times (a gift, a bottle of wine) let them know you are genuine about wanting to resolve this in friendly manner. Anticipate that they may be horrible to you the first few times since they’ll be defensive and may be expecting you to be angry yourself. For the sake of your kids, keep at it, don’t give up because it is hard.

If all that fails, then I tend to agree with ‘bundah’s comments… relocate. Get on with life somewhere else. There’s no point staying in a situation that is damaging to your mental and physical health.

Honestly – I hope it goes ok for you.

I have to say the suggestion that she ingratiate herself with the bully’s parents with gifts makes me cringe.

Personally I’d want to rock up and have a quiet unfriendly word, but good on you for wanting to maintain the peace.

Hi ‘worried_mum’, I was incredibly distressed reading you and your family’s ordeal thus far and want to help.
First I wanted to say congratulations for all the trouble you have gone to with all the mind-numbingly pathetic excuses for ‘help’ you have gone to so far. And snaps for still not giving up and even coming here for help! Your kids are lucky to have you 🙂

A couple of suggestions in case it helps:
1. If your kids haven’t yet got the counselling help they need, go directly to a GP (any) and get them a mental health plan and ‘vouchers’ to see a psychologist. If you need help with suggestions of GPs/psychologists feel free to contact me.

2. I’d second the suggestion of ‘Dilandach’s’ to get the kids into self defence class. Not because you want them to beat the others up, just because they will feel even slightly better knowing that they ‘can’ if they should ever need to defend themselves. I’d find a way to incorporate that into their school curriculum (i.e. get out of the useless P.E. class they are doing and get credit for the self-defence class instead!) There are ads on radio at the moment for self-defence classes where the whole family goes together. Maybe you could go too…might be fun for you all together!

3. Look up this article: Bully cases pass to private eye – – KEEP OUR KIDS SAFE
Daily Telegraph (Sydney, Australia) – Tuesday, May 21, 2013. If there is one thing that bullies WOULD be scared of, it would be a threat from someone more menacing than them. It sounds as though the police could use some additional evidence of their criminal behaviour. This needn’t be the behaviour of bullying your kids: Documented evidence of the other crimes they are no doubt committing on a daily basis would eventually mount to something the police would have to take notice of. Hell, even post the evidence on a separate Riot Act post…. the hive-mind here would have an absolute field day with it.
I’m not working at the moment….. if you want to hire me to help I’d consider it my most valuable work thus far in my career…!

4. And as an extension of No. 3, I echo the suggestion of http://australia.bacaworld.org/ or similar. Bullies only understand one language. They will continue their actions for as long as there is a pay-off (i.e. feeding off intimidation). It needs to be stopped. Now.

5. I also echo the suggestion of lawyers. If the school/police/others are constantly using the ‘rule-book’ to say they’ve done everything they can to help, and the problem isn’t fixed, it sounds like they need to get a big smack upside the head with the real rule book. It’s about time someone showed these institutions something about accountability.

6. Finally, a tip for your kids. I’d sit them down and have a proper ‘heart felt’ talk about what impact this is having on them. If it is as serious as you dread it is, they need to share those feelings with the GPs/Psychologists as above. If it came to it, they would be better getting away from that school and delaying their Year 9/10 or even doing it at CIT so that you are only with students who actually WANT to be there.
Having said that: don’t just run away. If it came to having to leave the school, the SCHOOL needs to provide the means and $$$ for you to pursue another avenue. Hence the previous suggestion at No. 5…. we all need to be accountable for our actions – or lack thereof…

I hope you feel the support through this and the other suggestions that Riot Act users will post for you. Above all, I genuinely hope you get through this with your head held high and feel a sense of accomplishment for whatever outcome you achieve.
You deserve it.

P.S. My offer at point 3 is genuine.

Dilandach said :

enrique said :

I’m wondering whether or not you have approached the parent(s) of the bullying children and what people think about that as an option.

What would happen if you went over and had a quiet and friendly conversation with the other parents and started to build up a relationship with them?

Its rare that you’ll actually get a parent who is shocked about what their kid is doing in these situations. They’ll either take the ‘get behind me johnny’ while delivering a verbal spray about how their little angel could do no wrong or they’ll straight up acknowledge it and let loose with a display on why their kids are so bad.

You could try but I wouldn’t expect anything but a demonstration of poor social skills.

Agree with what you are saying here.. the first few times you’ll most likely see the other kids parent(s) in defensive mode.

So instead, don’t go over there on the attack. Just turn up and say you’d actually like to get to know them a bit better and hopefully build up a friendly relationship. Let them know that you are aware that the kids may not be getting on so well at the moment but that you’re not there to pick on that… instead focus on the fact that you genuinely want the adults in the situation to be happy with each other.

Honestly, sort out the adult issues first in order to give the adolescent/undeveloped minds an opportunity to learn from it in a positively reinforced manner.

enrique said :

I’m wondering whether or not you have approached the parent(s) of the bullying children and what people think about that as an option.

What would happen if you went over and had a quiet and friendly conversation with the other parents and started to build up a relationship with them?

Its rare that you’ll actually get a parent who is shocked about what their kid is doing in these situations. They’ll either take the ‘get behind me johnny’ while delivering a verbal spray about how their little angel could do no wrong or they’ll straight up acknowledge it and let loose with a display on why their kids are so bad.

You could try but I wouldn’t expect anything but a demonstration of poor social skills.

Really sorry to hear about this horrible situation for you. I hope it can be resolved.

I’m wondering whether or not you have approached the parent(s) of the bullying children and what people think about that as an option.

What would happen if you went over and had a quiet and friendly conversation with the other parents and started to build up a relationship with them? It might be a bit confronting and uncomfortable at first but over time/a few sessions you may even be able to get your children and their children in the same location while you and the other parents have a series of quiet friendly interactions together…

My thoughts here are as follows… children don’t yet have the mental capacity to fully reason with their own thoughts and actions and as such they tend to follow/mimic the lead of their parents. If the kids see that the parents are getting along then they might start relaxing themselves and mimic this…

I’m basing my suggestion here on personal experience in another context, somewhat similar but not so full-on as yours. When different parents have overtly positive and friendly interactions that the children observe, it is very powerful and permeates down to the kids own thinking. It’s amazing the changes you observe, you can literally see the stress drain away from them.

It’s not easy – that’s for sure. Especially if you’ve had past issues with them. But keep trying – turn up with an olive branch a few times (a gift, a bottle of wine) let them know you are genuine about wanting to resolve this in friendly manner. Anticipate that they may be horrible to you the first few times since they’ll be defensive and may be expecting you to be angry yourself. For the sake of your kids, keep at it, don’t give up because it is hard.

If all that fails, then I tend to agree with ‘bundah’s comments… relocate. Get on with life somewhere else. There’s no point staying in a situation that is damaging to your mental and physical health.

Honestly – I hope it goes ok for you.

This is beyond serious and makes my blood boil. NO CHILD should have to endure this. It is easy to call for vigilantism (sp?) when the system is failing you but there are other more structured methods eg. http://australia.bacaworld.org/

The power to these little s**ts is that they, and their families, think they are only dealing with you. That is not the case. Their behaviour is unacceptable and there are times when the community needs to stand up to support you in this process.

Please don’t feel alone. I can see how this can make you feel.

Speak to a MP too, federal or local. Anyone who will listen.

I despise bullies and I feel for you, but protection orders aren’t the magic forcefield some people would like them to be (not saying that’s what you think). Breaches of these orders can be difficult to prove. Would you mind telling us the conditions of the order (without going into any specifics of course)?

The thing with orders is that people – even young kids – are quite clever and know they can technically breach an order or walk that fine line, without police being able to prove it. Frustrating for you, your daughter, and police.

Another thing to note is that if you or your daughter were to retaliate physically, all the actions that you’ve been hoping the school and the police to take… they’ll take them against you. Another way that they victimise the victim all over again is playing the victim themselves, they’ll cry and scream and bitch to anyone and everyone. They end up using the very support services designed to help people against you.

The bullying experts you see on TV or writing books, seldom are. Common-sense eludes them.

Again, My advice is to turn the screws on the school but I wouldn’t dismiss relocating to a different school/service. I’d also remind your daughter that while these kids are the kings of the school now, thinking they’re the top of the food chain. They end up as the housing commission residents of tomorrow. Basically ending up as the human trash they really are. They peak too early in life and highschool is it for them.

The sweetest day was one of the people who bullied me in school, emptying the bins in my office.

Omg this is a horrifying story but if i was you i’d speak to Kamy Saeedi. Kamy is the best criminal defence lawyer in town in my opinion. Im no expert but he should be able to help you bring charges against the school, the police, the education department and the scumbags who are tormenting your children. Kamy is the best and doesn’t come cheap but when its your kids lives in danger you can’t afford not to and he is also wonderful guy and would definately be able to help.

Given the circumstances and that your daughter is not prepared to stand up to the bullies then i would think it’s probably best to relocate her. If you confront them it would most likely only inflame the situation.The only other unpalatable option would be to have someone threaten them with GBH if they didn’t leave her alone.

Fairly distressing reading this. I’ve been there although my parents didn’t put anywhere near the effort in that you have. I commend you for that. You’ve done everything right.

Not that I’d want to concern you further but something worth checking into would be seeing if there is another area that the kids are being bullied in. Facebook, SMSes etc.

I’d strongly recommend to get your kids into a self defence class, it will do wonders for the situation.

I’d also start looking at getting very serious with the school, let them know if they want to take the apathetic approach then there will be consequences. I’m not a solicitor, so see one and what they say.

In my personal experience and of others I know, despite what ‘bullying experts’ say along with others who just say ‘talk it out’ they have absolutely no clue, no idea. I can tell you exactly what the bullies would be doing when confronted or encouraged to talk it out. They’d straight out deny it or say they were sorry and assure whoever it is that it won’t happen again. Basically saying whatever the sucker sitting in front of them wants to hear. After they’ll just chuckle about it and go back to whatever got them there in the first place

The only thing that people that are doing this to your kids understand is the language that they communicate in.

You’ve done everything right, you are not the problem. Your kids are not the problem. It is the school and whatever you do, don’t buckle. Just don’t.

On another note, suspensions would have to be the most ridiculous ‘punishment’ ever thought up. “Hey, you’re doing the wrong thing! here’s a few days off school.” Yes, I’m sure the kids are really thinking about that one when they’re down the mall catching a movie or playing games all day. Yeah, sure showed them.