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I need help with a bullying issue?

By Worried_Mum 23 May 2013 126

Hello fellow rioters. I thought I would throw the question out here to see what knowledge you guys have.

I am not a wordsmith by any means so apologies in advance if this is disjointed and or confusing, I will do my best and apologies for any spelling and or grammar issues.

I have a dilemma on my hands where by my children are the constant target of school bullies. It has escalated to the point of having a protection order against the main ring leader, and we need to go back to court to increase that to some of the others in the group.

The majority of them are in my daughter’s year, so throughout the day she is constantly barraged with name calling, pointing, laughing and dirty looks, the constant threats that they will be waiting for them after school and that they are going to bash her.

Then there is the end of day torment where the above kids, their cousins and 18 year old boyfriends are waiting for my children to assault them, they will block the way for my girls to walk home so that they have to take another path home, but each path always intersects at the same under pass where they generally converge and wait for them.

When they are waiting out the front of the school the teacher on duty will tell them to leave, which they will then just wait across the road so they are not on school premises and the teachers cannot do or say anything. The teachers will hold my children back some times up to an hour after class until they seem to leave ( or go down to the second waiting point).

If the girls see them waiting at the underpass they go back to school and call the police or call me to come and pick them up, which is not a sustainable thing to do. This is how they attacked another student at the school and gave her concussion. This child now hardly attends school due to all the issues and the family is looking to move interstate.

There have been over 10 breaches of the protection order, but only given a case number in 9 – 10 instances to date now.

Most times I am told that nothing has happened and refused a job number. I now insist on a job number, but then that doesn’t guarantee that someone will attend.

Then we get to the wonderful rafter of reasons as to why nothing will be done:

  • We are happy with the explanation from the other party, so no further action will be taken
  • Too hard to prove that a breach has occurred ( let’s just overlook the fact that there have been numerous occasions that teachers and other witnesses have been willing to give statements and these have not been taken)
  • Her mother has said that she was not in the area at the time of the alleged breach ( regardless of the fact that teachers have seen her)
  • Because the respondent has not used your child’s name she could have been saying those things to anyone ( lets overlook that she is looking my child in the eye and is almost in her face)
  • Because the respondent has only used your child’s first name she could have been referring to anyone with that name (what are the chances of someone with my child’s name walking the same way my children walk home and them also having problems with this group of kids)
  • Because your daughter made a comment in her statement about not caring about the words used, she was therefore not threatened or intimidated ( I think the fact that she has called people including the police shows she really does care and she is trying to be tough and not show emotions)

Then there is the ever so helpful advice and comments from the police:

  • Change schools
  • Get them to find a new way home
  • Let them catch a taxi home every day
  • The respondent is free to stand and wait where ever she wants its public space
  • Doesn’t matter if they are threatened, nothing has happened
  • She is only pointing and laughing, that is not a breach of the order
  • We have 15 – 16 year old’s with 150 counts of burglary against them and they have not seen the inside of a cell, so this kid will never see the inside of Bimbirri.

Then we have the schools aspect. They say their hands are tied; they have put requests into the department of education to have something done as the ring leader has protection orders from about 5 different children now and the others in the group are slowly reaching the same point.

The school were suspending these kids when they breached the orders, but they are no longer allowed to do that as they can only suspend these kids when they breach the school rules and a court order does not come under school rules.

Even when these kids are suspended they still make their way over to do the after school saga, then when they return to school they are on half days and still manage to cause issues and breach the orders continuously.

These kids have no fear as they have seen that they can get away with whatever they want and the police and school will not do anything besides a stern talking to and get a couple days off school to chill, drink, do drugs and other cool things.

My daughter comes to me and asks “mum what can I do she is constantly breaking the order, I am always having to think of how I can avoid her and she just doesn’t care and no one seems to want to help me” What answers can I give my child as I have none.

This is a bright kid who loves school and wants to get an education, yet she is starting to not want to attend school due to the constant bulling, taunting and fear that something is going to happen to her or her younger sister (who has been assaulted by this girl already in an attempt to get my daughter to fight her).

She is not sleeping well, her attitude at home is changing due the frustration that she feels, She puts on the brave face and tries to act strong for everyone and in front of everyone, and this has been to her detriment, because she tried to be tough and made a flippant comment to the police that she was not threatened by comments or didn’t care about what words were said to her, this child is let off again. She was obviously feeling threatened, otherwise she would not have called for assistance and the police would not have been called out to attend. She puts on the brave face and tries to fool people, but those close to her can see the truth that it is destroying her on the inside. No child should have to live like this.

She does not want to change school as she feels that she has a right to stay there and learn and if she leaves this does not fix the problem, and give the bullies a sense of power that they have destroyed another kid.

Being that she is 1/2 way through year 9, she is worried about her school certificate if she was to move and not be able to continue with her planned classes. She is completing  two majors and is aiming and on track to graduate with a distinction, despite all the goings on.

I worry that my daughter will be the next unheard statistic of suicide due to the bullying or she herself fed up with the non-action will snap and take matters into her own hand and then find herself the one who is in trouble.

My daughter was offered counselling once when this first started, no one has followed up and I have called the school and requested that she be spoken to by the counselor. This happened last week and my daughter came home saying that the counselor didn’t help she just said to look at them as cute cuddly baby animals that need a hug.

Things I have done so far:

  • I have begged and pleaded with the police and school to do something
  • I have asked to speak with the station sergeant ( I am still waiting for him to call me as apparently he only works 8 – 4)
  • I have requested the contact details for who I can escalate this to, so I can assist to have everyone’s hands untied
  • We have gone back and forth to the court system at the request of the police,
  • I spend most days either at the school/ police station/ court house or on the phone to one of the aforementioned.
  • I have called CPS and listed my children at risk
  • I have called the Salvation Army to set up counselling as we are still waiting to hear from the youth counselling service through the police
  • I requested counselling through the school
  • I have written a plea for help to the Minister for education, Youth, Policing, and their shadow minister counter parts. I only receive two responses that this will be looked into and that was about 2 weeks ago
  • I have sent my plea to the Canberra times highlighting the case of the 13 year old girl in Sydney who took her life a few weeks ago
  • I have even written to the likes of ACA.

I am hitting brick walls everywhere and it seems that everyone is just happy with burying their heads in the sand and hopes that it will all go away.  Or something will be action when it’s too late and they have been assaulted further or dead.

How can I get people to stand up and listen and take action rather than these add hoc groups about anti bullying or the one punch groups that make the news every now and again when we lose another person to this senseless stupidity of bulling behavior?

Any further ideas on where I can turn or anyone I can ask for help.

Thanks in advance

One troubled mum


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I need help with a bullying issue?
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Alegnaj 6:22 pm 18 Jan 15

Worried_Mum … your original post is over a year old now. But how did things turn out of you and your family? I hope everything was resolved – it sounded like a very rough time.
Best wishes

Masquara 10:19 am 30 Dec 13

Comic_and_Gamer_Nerd said :

Would be interesting to get a follow up from OP.

I hope everything turned out ok.

God yes. OP please let Rioters know.

Comic_and_Gamer_Nerd 8:18 am 30 Dec 13

Would be interesting to get a follow up from OP.

I hope everything turned out ok.

caf 2:26 pm 23 Sep 13

Maybe this judgement will convince schools to take their responsibilities more seriously.

Dilandach 6:41 pm 01 Jun 13

Worried_Mum said :

Sad thing is these ferals continue to cause havoc at the school and outside of it. They have found yet another target to focus on and get the exact reactions out of that poor child, and the jaw dropper the victim has been suspended twice because these bullies are allowed to push their buttons.

Yep, that was always my experience. Retaliate and suddenly all the people you’ve been begging for assistance suddenly swing into action in their defence. Pissed me off to no end.

Worried_Mum said :

In my meeting earlier this week with the Education members, it was explained to me that there have been many studies that show it is an 8 -12 week cycle of continuous bullying then a bit of a lull before it starts again, but normally the severity decreases over each cycle.

Mind boggling stupidity. If that was said to me during my troubles I would have punched whoever it was in the throat and if its said to either of my kids if they’re in the same situation which I hope they’re not, I suspect the same reaction would be forthcoming. I commend you for your restraint.

Worried_Mum said :

This truly makes me sad, as the poor victims are forced to deal with this behaviour while there are attempts made with the bullies to correct their behaviour. How has the world come to this and become acceptable?

Because you’ve got a naive bunch making policy and suck up whatever kids like this tell them.

Worried_Mum said :

It appears that one of the bullies is aware of this thread and is calling me every name under the sun and making new threats against my children.

Mehh a scrawny little 14 year old person who can only fight in a group scenario does not scare me. I teach my children that they have to follow the right path in life, to be a better person in society, as lets face it, someone will need to support these no hoper’s in the future.

I really hope they have and I hope they do. That way they can read where they’re ending up and there’s no two ways about it, they’re going to be human trash for life. They’re going to be living in dodgy suburbs for the rest of their lives. The kind where they’re going to be broken into multiple times and have their meagre possessions stolen repeatedly, they’re going to have partners who will smack them around and they’re never going to be able to have cool things like new cars, big TVs, overseas holidays. Their lives are going to be filled with teenage pregnancies, violence and drug/alcohol abuse. They may be sitting there attempting to laugh it off but joke really is on them, its going to happen.

I hope they do read this and remember this thread when they’re sitting in their govvie house, their partner of the month in jail for smacking them around and no food in the house for their already starving kids.

Of course you could think I’m full of crap but the truth of the matter is that you and your kin are the types that will be shining my shoes, cleaning my toilets and saying thankyou for any scraps I allow to fall your way.

bundah 3:27 pm 01 Jun 13

@worried mum

So one of if not all the bullies are now aware of this thread and are dishing out more abuse? Well what can one expect from a lowlife mob mentality however confront each of them when they’re on their own and observe the coward emerge in the POS!

7

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