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I need help with a bullying issue?

Worried_Mum 23 May 2013 126

Hello fellow rioters. I thought I would throw the question out here to see what knowledge you guys have.

I am not a wordsmith by any means so apologies in advance if this is disjointed and or confusing, I will do my best and apologies for any spelling and or grammar issues.

I have a dilemma on my hands where by my children are the constant target of school bullies. It has escalated to the point of having a protection order against the main ring leader, and we need to go back to court to increase that to some of the others in the group.

The majority of them are in my daughter’s year, so throughout the day she is constantly barraged with name calling, pointing, laughing and dirty looks, the constant threats that they will be waiting for them after school and that they are going to bash her.

Then there is the end of day torment where the above kids, their cousins and 18 year old boyfriends are waiting for my children to assault them, they will block the way for my girls to walk home so that they have to take another path home, but each path always intersects at the same under pass where they generally converge and wait for them.

When they are waiting out the front of the school the teacher on duty will tell them to leave, which they will then just wait across the road so they are not on school premises and the teachers cannot do or say anything. The teachers will hold my children back some times up to an hour after class until they seem to leave ( or go down to the second waiting point).

If the girls see them waiting at the underpass they go back to school and call the police or call me to come and pick them up, which is not a sustainable thing to do. This is how they attacked another student at the school and gave her concussion. This child now hardly attends school due to all the issues and the family is looking to move interstate.

There have been over 10 breaches of the protection order, but only given a case number in 9 – 10 instances to date now.

Most times I am told that nothing has happened and refused a job number. I now insist on a job number, but then that doesn’t guarantee that someone will attend.

Then we get to the wonderful rafter of reasons as to why nothing will be done:

  • We are happy with the explanation from the other party, so no further action will be taken
  • Too hard to prove that a breach has occurred ( let’s just overlook the fact that there have been numerous occasions that teachers and other witnesses have been willing to give statements and these have not been taken)
  • Her mother has said that she was not in the area at the time of the alleged breach ( regardless of the fact that teachers have seen her)
  • Because the respondent has not used your child’s name she could have been saying those things to anyone ( lets overlook that she is looking my child in the eye and is almost in her face)
  • Because the respondent has only used your child’s first name she could have been referring to anyone with that name (what are the chances of someone with my child’s name walking the same way my children walk home and them also having problems with this group of kids)
  • Because your daughter made a comment in her statement about not caring about the words used, she was therefore not threatened or intimidated ( I think the fact that she has called people including the police shows she really does care and she is trying to be tough and not show emotions)

Then there is the ever so helpful advice and comments from the police:

  • Change schools
  • Get them to find a new way home
  • Let them catch a taxi home every day
  • The respondent is free to stand and wait where ever she wants its public space
  • Doesn’t matter if they are threatened, nothing has happened
  • She is only pointing and laughing, that is not a breach of the order
  • We have 15 – 16 year old’s with 150 counts of burglary against them and they have not seen the inside of a cell, so this kid will never see the inside of Bimbirri.

Then we have the schools aspect. They say their hands are tied; they have put requests into the department of education to have something done as the ring leader has protection orders from about 5 different children now and the others in the group are slowly reaching the same point.

The school were suspending these kids when they breached the orders, but they are no longer allowed to do that as they can only suspend these kids when they breach the school rules and a court order does not come under school rules.

Even when these kids are suspended they still make their way over to do the after school saga, then when they return to school they are on half days and still manage to cause issues and breach the orders continuously.

These kids have no fear as they have seen that they can get away with whatever they want and the police and school will not do anything besides a stern talking to and get a couple days off school to chill, drink, do drugs and other cool things.

My daughter comes to me and asks “mum what can I do she is constantly breaking the order, I am always having to think of how I can avoid her and she just doesn’t care and no one seems to want to help me” What answers can I give my child as I have none.

This is a bright kid who loves school and wants to get an education, yet she is starting to not want to attend school due to the constant bulling, taunting and fear that something is going to happen to her or her younger sister (who has been assaulted by this girl already in an attempt to get my daughter to fight her).

She is not sleeping well, her attitude at home is changing due the frustration that she feels, She puts on the brave face and tries to act strong for everyone and in front of everyone, and this has been to her detriment, because she tried to be tough and made a flippant comment to the police that she was not threatened by comments or didn’t care about what words were said to her, this child is let off again. She was obviously feeling threatened, otherwise she would not have called for assistance and the police would not have been called out to attend. She puts on the brave face and tries to fool people, but those close to her can see the truth that it is destroying her on the inside. No child should have to live like this.

She does not want to change school as she feels that she has a right to stay there and learn and if she leaves this does not fix the problem, and give the bullies a sense of power that they have destroyed another kid.

Being that she is 1/2 way through year 9, she is worried about her school certificate if she was to move and not be able to continue with her planned classes. She is completing  two majors and is aiming and on track to graduate with a distinction, despite all the goings on.

I worry that my daughter will be the next unheard statistic of suicide due to the bullying or she herself fed up with the non-action will snap and take matters into her own hand and then find herself the one who is in trouble.

My daughter was offered counselling once when this first started, no one has followed up and I have called the school and requested that she be spoken to by the counselor. This happened last week and my daughter came home saying that the counselor didn’t help she just said to look at them as cute cuddly baby animals that need a hug.

Things I have done so far:

  • I have begged and pleaded with the police and school to do something
  • I have asked to speak with the station sergeant ( I am still waiting for him to call me as apparently he only works 8 – 4)
  • I have requested the contact details for who I can escalate this to, so I can assist to have everyone’s hands untied
  • We have gone back and forth to the court system at the request of the police,
  • I spend most days either at the school/ police station/ court house or on the phone to one of the aforementioned.
  • I have called CPS and listed my children at risk
  • I have called the Salvation Army to set up counselling as we are still waiting to hear from the youth counselling service through the police
  • I requested counselling through the school
  • I have written a plea for help to the Minister for education, Youth, Policing, and their shadow minister counter parts. I only receive two responses that this will be looked into and that was about 2 weeks ago
  • I have sent my plea to the Canberra times highlighting the case of the 13 year old girl in Sydney who took her life a few weeks ago
  • I have even written to the likes of ACA.

I am hitting brick walls everywhere and it seems that everyone is just happy with burying their heads in the sand and hopes that it will all go away.  Or something will be action when it’s too late and they have been assaulted further or dead.

How can I get people to stand up and listen and take action rather than these add hoc groups about anti bullying or the one punch groups that make the news every now and again when we lose another person to this senseless stupidity of bulling behavior?

Any further ideas on where I can turn or anyone I can ask for help.

Thanks in advance

One troubled mum


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I need help with a bullying issue?
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Alegnaj 6:22 pm 18 Jan 15

Worried_Mum … your original post is over a year old now. But how did things turn out of you and your family? I hope everything was resolved – it sounded like a very rough time.
Best wishes

Masquara 10:19 am 30 Dec 13

Comic_and_Gamer_Nerd said :

Would be interesting to get a follow up from OP.

I hope everything turned out ok.

God yes. OP please let Rioters know.

Comic_and_Gamer_Nerd 8:18 am 30 Dec 13

Would be interesting to get a follow up from OP.

I hope everything turned out ok.

caf 2:26 pm 23 Sep 13

Maybe this judgement will convince schools to take their responsibilities more seriously.

Dilandach 6:41 pm 01 Jun 13

Worried_Mum said :

Sad thing is these ferals continue to cause havoc at the school and outside of it. They have found yet another target to focus on and get the exact reactions out of that poor child, and the jaw dropper the victim has been suspended twice because these bullies are allowed to push their buttons.

Yep, that was always my experience. Retaliate and suddenly all the people you’ve been begging for assistance suddenly swing into action in their defence. Pissed me off to no end.

Worried_Mum said :

In my meeting earlier this week with the Education members, it was explained to me that there have been many studies that show it is an 8 -12 week cycle of continuous bullying then a bit of a lull before it starts again, but normally the severity decreases over each cycle.

Mind boggling stupidity. If that was said to me during my troubles I would have punched whoever it was in the throat and if its said to either of my kids if they’re in the same situation which I hope they’re not, I suspect the same reaction would be forthcoming. I commend you for your restraint.

Worried_Mum said :

This truly makes me sad, as the poor victims are forced to deal with this behaviour while there are attempts made with the bullies to correct their behaviour. How has the world come to this and become acceptable?

Because you’ve got a naive bunch making policy and suck up whatever kids like this tell them.

Worried_Mum said :

It appears that one of the bullies is aware of this thread and is calling me every name under the sun and making new threats against my children.

Mehh a scrawny little 14 year old person who can only fight in a group scenario does not scare me. I teach my children that they have to follow the right path in life, to be a better person in society, as lets face it, someone will need to support these no hoper’s in the future.

I really hope they have and I hope they do. That way they can read where they’re ending up and there’s no two ways about it, they’re going to be human trash for life. They’re going to be living in dodgy suburbs for the rest of their lives. The kind where they’re going to be broken into multiple times and have their meagre possessions stolen repeatedly, they’re going to have partners who will smack them around and they’re never going to be able to have cool things like new cars, big TVs, overseas holidays. Their lives are going to be filled with teenage pregnancies, violence and drug/alcohol abuse. They may be sitting there attempting to laugh it off but joke really is on them, its going to happen.

I hope they do read this and remember this thread when they’re sitting in their govvie house, their partner of the month in jail for smacking them around and no food in the house for their already starving kids.

Of course you could think I’m full of crap but the truth of the matter is that you and your kin are the types that will be shining my shoes, cleaning my toilets and saying thankyou for any scraps I allow to fall your way.

bundah 3:27 pm 01 Jun 13

@worried mum

So one of if not all the bullies are now aware of this thread and are dishing out more abuse? Well what can one expect from a lowlife mob mentality however confront each of them when they’re on their own and observe the coward emerge in the POS!

Comic_and_Gamer_Nerd 3:14 pm 01 Jun 13

I find it hard to believe the bogan human trash causing you these problems is even capable of reading, let alone using a search engine.

Don’t worry, your kids will get a education and do well in life while the bogan trash will be on welfare living in a crappy govvie house and more than likely drug addicts just like there own human trash parents taught them to be.

I’m glad you are getting your kids away from this disgusting environment.

Worried_Mum 2:57 pm 01 Jun 13

Just thought I would give a quick update.

I have had a meeting with the Tuggeranong School network leader to follow up on the school side of things. I am making a meeting next week with the station Sargent for Tuggeranong to discuss the list of promis cases ( I have only been requesting to speak with him or get him to return my calls from late March early April).

My children have been enrolled in counselling and start self defence classes next week.

The change of schools is currently under way as well.

Sad thing is these ferals continue to cause havoc at the school and outside of it. They have found yet another target to focus on and get the exact reactions out of that poor child, and the jaw dropper the victim has been suspended twice because these bullies are allowed to push their buttons.

Although the cogs have slowly started to turn, I still want to try and get something more substantive done, to stop this occurring for other children.

In my meeting earlier this week with the Education members, it was explained to me that there have been many studies that show it is an 8 -12 week cycle of continuous bullying then a bit of a lull before it starts again, but normally the severity decreases over each cycle.

This truly makes me sad, as the poor victims are forced to deal with this behaviour while there are attempts made with the bullies to correct their behaviour. How has the world come to this and become acceptable?

It appears that one of the bullies is aware of this thread and is calling me every name under the sun and making new threats against my children.

Mehh a scrawny little 14 year old person who can only fight in a group scenario does not scare me. I teach my children that they have to follow the right path in life, to be a better person in society, as lets face it, someone will need to support these no hoper’s in the future.

But just a little insight to my background for the little gits to take into consideration. I am living proof that you choose to let your upbringing be your downfall/excuse for repeating the cycle or you can choose to use it as a basis to boost yourself to immeasurable heights. You think you are tough growing up in Chisholm. You would not last a week in Western Sydney.

So I think you should really sit down and choose your battles wisely, really rethink being a bully my little friend, as my patience for your little games grows really thin. You are just a silly teenager who will get bored of this eventually, but I will not, your stint of being a bully WILL come back to bite you in the ass.

Dork 10:25 pm 28 May 13

Haha Waniassa school? Seriously? They had at least two lockdowns last year. The students at that school constantly exhibit destructive behavior. Not recommended.

Comic_and_Gamer_Nerd 4:34 pm 28 May 13

I don’t think things will get better any time soon. The government keeps allowing bogan human trash to act this way, hell it’s even encouraged. Problem kids should be taken away from their family and placed elsewhere.

scorpio63 3:13 pm 28 May 13

Bullying long term causes Anxiety, Depression and other mental illnesses and over a period of time left untreated; goes into the ‘physical’.

Whereby the Department of Education or Police have not ceased the bullying and the child has been bullied and assaulted by a group, the following steps should be taken to protect your Child and/or Children;

(I) remove your Child from that particular school as this group will continue targeting your other Children until they have all completed school. Until the Government/Department of Education come up with innovative strategies other than the latest concept throwing millions into a bullying website and book (by Minister Garrett) which will assist some victims and is great for those who come across the website and read it, however the bullying still continues by the same old bullies in the same old families right through into adulthood until someone (a role model through either work, socially or an interest) educates ‘the bully who is the follower’ and they drop out of these little local groups; alternatively some eventually move out of Canberra or the City they have grown up in and cause trouble elsewhere or straighten out away from their own cosy little environment.

If I were the Education Minister today, I would be taking half these kids out of each ‘local’ school in or around their suburb, turning away half that live near one another and placing them at a young age in another school one or two suburbs away to break down the culture of ‘suburban and local school groups’ leading to trouble and bullying. For instance, at the commencement of kindergarten, turn 50% away locally and place these kids who reside in or around one another, into a school one or two suburbs away. This occurs in Catholic and private schools, where parents are turned away to another private school when numbers are high in each of those schools.

Next, there should be legislation introduced into government schools whereby if there are ‘known troublemakers and bullies’ with one or two complaints of bullying accompanied by witnesses; these kids are automatically removed and relocated to another school. Legislation should have been drawn up years ago on this point. This teaches kids that it is unacceptable and more importantly will NOT be tolerated by the Education system and Government.

For any Parent of a Victim of bullying; take a week off to straighten out the issue yourself as I did once many years ago when one of my Children was bullied by one person for a few days. I nipped it in the bud and collected my Teenager from school with one of her other friends for a week; within a week, the bully wanted to be friends with my daughter and her couple of friends never bothered my Child again. One on one bullies are easier to deal with; a group is where the hard work comes in. Your kids need some adult presence or someone you are able to recruit after school for a term, walking home with them or picking them up. Preferably a Male of Fit Female with plenty of muscles! The bullying group are not so facetious when seeing an unexpected visitor to the school walking or driving home with their victims. It worked for one of my Children believe me!

TheBusDriver 10:07 am 28 May 13

Another relevant story in today’s media;
http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/schools-should-be-ranked-on-bullying-to-prevent-mental-health-problems-psychiatrist-says/story-fngqim8m-1226651773491
I think that’s a great idea. It might embaress some schools into doing something about the issue instead of sweeping it under the carpet.

beedlebum 10:17 pm 27 May 13

So sad that this has happened.
Before you move your kids out of Tuggeranong, can I recommend Wanniassa School? Great school with a strong values program and good community.

farq 4:54 pm 27 May 13

> There have been over 10 breaches of the protection order, but only given a case number in 9 – 10 instances to date now.

I saw plenty of bullying in my day but I’ve never heard of a student getting a protection order against another student. It’s shocking that the public education system in this town has become so bad this is now not an extreme situation.

It was bad enough back in my day, it must be like lord of the flies now.

No wonder more and more parents are moving to the non-government and private school system.

Also, is it a surprise that Caroline Chisholm High School is a super school?

IrishPete 1:25 pm 27 May 13

Tooks said :

Thanks for clarifying.

Unfortunately though, a civil case against a feral kid and his/her feral parents, is unlikely to gain much.

True. You’d probably initiate it against the school for failing to protect the child. And a lawyer could help you strengthen the AVO conditions.

IP

Thumper 12:12 pm 27 May 13

therefore it would just be point-scoring to make this a Labor Vs Liberal debate when neither side has seemingly done anything about it.

I wasn’t point scoring. I was simply stating the obvious.

Yes, there probably was bullying at the school when the libs were last in power. However, that is totally and utterly irrelevant in relation to what is happening at present.

Therefore my original statement stands.

Tooks 11:37 am 27 May 13

IrishPete said :

Tooks said :

Confusing criminal and civil matters. What do you think civil litigation would achieve in this case?

Strictly speaking AVOs are a civil matter, not criminal. Breach of an AVO is a criminal matter.

But what I meant is that a private lawyer is more likely to commence a civil case, which is for damages (money) than a criminal case (private prosecution). Even if that isn’t what the OP wants, it’s how lawyers get people to sit up and take notice, by commencing a case seeking damages commensurate with the harm, and also sometimes seeking punitive damages which can be any amount at all – a claim for really large punitive damages one will sometimes get the case reported in the media, which can also receive a quick outcome. Given there is money involved, a lawyer may even be willing to do it a no-win no-fee basis (if that’s allowed in the ACT). Slater and Gordon are the name that comes to mind first, as they have a reputation.

Personally I think there isn’t enough legal action by common people – we always want the system (police, DPP etc) to do it, and when they fail to act, we accept it, instead of being more assertive and taking the case ourselves. However, there is a financial and emotional cost to doing so.

Sometimes a letter from a lawyer is all it takes to get the negligent party to take appropriate action. In this case we believe from the information provided that the school is the negligent party.

IP

Thanks for clarifying.

Unfortunately though, a civil case against a feral kid and his/her feral parents, is unlikely to gain much.

Ghettosmurf87 11:21 am 27 May 13

Thumper said :

But feel free to put it on the GOVERNMENT’s (read Labor from you) head and politicise the matter, rather than the fact that most schools seem to both have their hands tied while simultaneously sticking their heads in the sand to deny problems in the blind hope that the school doesn’t get a bad reputation.

Sorry, can’t let this one go.

Who has been in power for the past 10 years. Who continually tells us that they take bullying seriously? Who continually and systematically keeps sweeping these issues under the covers?

Who is the only organisation who can actually do anything about this?

I don’t deny that we need changes at an institutional level, but I was also pointing out that the stories in this thread seem to imply that there have been bullying problems at Caroline Chisolm and across the ACT for MULTIPLE decades, i.e, far longer than just the past 10yrs that Labor has been in power, therefore it would just be point-scoring to make this a Labor Vs Liberal debate when neither side has seemingly done anything about it.

I also have a rather depressing feeling that neither side of politics has the stomach to actually tackle this issue, which is why it seems to get put in the too hard basket as everyone tip-toes around and hopes that no one gets sued for the gross negligence which occurs as a result of worrying about litigation in the first place.

I’d say it’s an idictment on today’s society in general, not any side of politics.

That’s all.

Thumper 11:07 am 27 May 13

But feel free to put it on the GOVERNMENT’s (read Labor from you) head and politicise the matter, rather than the fact that most schools seem to both have their hands tied while simultaneously sticking their heads in the sand to deny problems in the blind hope that the school doesn’t get a bad reputation.

Sorry, can’t let this one go.

Who has been in power for the past 10 years. Who continually tells us that they take bullying seriously? Who continually and systematically keeps sweeping these issues under the covers?

Who is the only organisation who can actually do anything about this?

Thumper 11:03 am 27 May 13

Ghettosmurf87 said :

Thumper said :

The OP should simply name the school.

Maybe then the ACT government will <actually do something, rather than throw around meaningless slogans and motherhood statements.

The school was named ages ago Thumper.

Caroline Chisolm High I do believe.

From reading the numerous posts, it would seem that there have been bullying problems at that school for DECADES.

But feel free to put it on the GOVERNMENT’s (read Labor from you) head and politicise the matter, rather than the fact that most schools seem to both have their hands tied while simultaneously sticking their heads in the sand to deny problems in the blind hope that the school doesn’t get a bad reputation.

Check the politics at the door on this one, please.

Thanks man, not enough time to read through every post 🙂

7

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