30 December 2005

News flash: Giant camel eats Canberra

| Kerces
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As I was returning from a picnic (in the shade) by the lake on this hot summer’s day I looked up at Black Mountain, as Canberrans do fairly regularly, and, to my horror, saw a giant camel devouring Telstra Tower.

I went and found a camera and dutifully took some shots to share with you all the reason why your mobiles may not work tomorrow, seeing as our main telecommunications infrastructure had just been taken out.

When I got home I called Urban Services, but they were all on holidays, so I guess the giant camel will probably be allowed to roam our fair city until they all get back.

Camel eating Telstra Tower

(Well you’re all on holidays right, so I can write whatever I want…)

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What is the difference between a one humped camel and a two humped camel?

A two humped camel is called a Bactrian Camel. These are Asian camels, which come form the deserts of China and Mongolia. These camels have thick, warm, long, shaggy coats in winter and are equipped for very extreme temperatures. They can withstand cold down to 40 degrees below zero. In summer they shed and can take heat up to 120 degrees farenheit.

Dromedary camels have one hump. These camels come from North and East Africa. They have a shorter fiber coat, even in winter, and they are typically taller than Bactrians at the humps. Dromedaries are not equipped for the degree of cold which Bactrians can withstand, and I always make sure that my Dromedary has a solid shelter from the wind, cold and rain.

I think that a Bactrian camel would be more suitable for Canberra’s temperature climes, although I still haven’t found anybody willing to sell me one as a pet.

You are such a little bitch.

Sorry, alcoholic goose.


It’s eating the top off Telstra Tower, goose.

One of those Central Asian ‘stans’ where camels abound…much local interest. They’re sending a reporter over – by camel.

Tadzik tv?

Yeah, full coverage on Tadzik TV. Your career is made!
BTW, any mention on Camelvision??

So, I’ve been away for half a week since posting this and thus missing papers and other news. Anyone else pick up on our exclusive?

Damn you Bulldog; I was going to mention cameltoes! 😉

You can solve it by releasing a giant crab into the area, as the giant crab is natures perfect killing machine.

actually my pet giant camel has escaped from my yard in Watson (stupid town planners forbidding 1000m fences) but that one isnt it. has anyone seen it?

Insert idiotic ‘camel-toe’ joke here. Saves some of the other clowns the time of thinking of something ‘clever’ to say.

Nice work K.

That’s coz he IS real, Thumper. I had to scrape up a camelturd the other day that was bigger than my dinner table.
Happy New Year, by the way. And here’s hoping for early wickets!

ancientartifact11:46 am 01 Jan 06

# It’s the Perl Camel 🙂 !
# What I want to know is why hasn’t the Australian
# Camel News website heard of this development !?
Use Perl or Die;

You think the Camel could’ve waited til Parliament was in session then taken a few bites out of the big house on the hill.

Is my comment breaking sedition laws???

It’s just a means to an end. The Canberra Times predicted this in a front page article, April 1 at the height of the “Feel the Power of Canberra” campaign…
Does any one else remember that?

Samuel Gordon-Stewart12:42 am 31 Dec 05

Well, that explains it…

Alexander Camel?

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