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Not adding to the problem, but providing a solution

By Blamemonkey 17 January 2006 19

Picture this fine day in Canberra, two sexy riotact submitters sitting having coffee when a derro with a cup of methadone walks up and asks “for a smoke”…. What happens next.

On this fine summer’s day myself and RandomGit decide to head down to Gus’ to have a coffee and a catch up, discussing many a subject from SGS and riotact too how his children have ruined his chance for a weekend sleep-in, when all of a sudden some derro asks me if he can bum a smoke.

for starters i thought i would be safe from this sort of harassment especially when sitting at a table at a cafe having a coffee, shouldn’t the cafe provide some sort of security for there customers???

Any who with the smokes sitting on the table and me just lit up I hand one over and off the derro goes.

Git then pipes in saying “why didn’t you just tell him to fark off?”

I pause for my rebuttal

Git fires up again “that derro has just scored his methadone, see that cup he is carrying with the liquid? They’re meant to make them drink it there!! You are just assisting his habit, adding to the problem!” with the rage in Git escalating i need to diffuses the issue quickly.

“I’m not adding to the problem, I’m assisting with the solution…. every cigarette he smokes it puts him one step closer to cancer.”

Git was so proud he almost cried….

My two cents

What’s Your opinion?

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19 Responses to
Not adding to the problem, but providing a solution
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Absent Diane 12:25 pm 19 Jan 06

Ever had a beadie?
Yup… im jiggy with it now..

RandomGit 8:25 am 19 Jan 06

sonofabitch still owe me $260 too…

There should be a law against that.

Jey 7:02 am 19 Jan 06

I hate seeing ppl picking up butts and putting them in a little bag or worse, their pockets.
It really makes me sad and feel a little sick.
It hurts to care.

bonfire 4:24 pm 18 Jan 06

sonofabitch still owe me $260 too…

RandomGit 3:54 pm 18 Jan 06

bonfire has hereby coined the new word:

Alcodole: derogatory. An alchoholic wretch living a soused parasitic existence in welfare states.

bonfire 3:11 pm 18 Jan 06

as soon as you touch down at hatta international its the first thing you smell. kreteks are ok but i couldnt smoke them on a regular basis.

i had an alco dole bludging flatmate 10-12 years ago who used to go to civic bus interchange to collect discarded butts which he would take apart and blend with drum to extend his smoking dollar.

kreteks cost about 80 cents a packet, i wouldnt even want to guess what else is in them. but i remember seeing indons with long thin bamboo sticks picking butts off the ground with elegant ease and putting them in big sacks.

RandomGit 2:40 pm 18 Jan 06

Ever had a beadie? No no, you’d be better off killing yourself first.

Kretek’s, that brings back memory.

Spitfire3 2:20 pm 18 Jan 06

I just googled it and have now learned that they are “Clove Cigarettes from Indonesia. The fragrance of clove cigarettes or kretek is as much a part of Indonesia as sun and rain.”

Spitfire3 2:17 pm 18 Jan 06

I take it a Kretek is a brand of cigarette that is cheap and that most smokers find foul, right?

Absent Diane 2:16 pm 18 Jan 06

What is kretek??? I always liked the idea of buying little fireworks to put into ciggies that people may scam off me… but a)I don’t know where to get fireworks b) I’m sure it would back fire somehow c)Im not that mean…

bonfire 10:40 am 18 Jan 06

i always offer a kretek which i keep in the other side of my ciggarette case for just such as occasion.

at $14 for 20 smokes, im unlikely to proffer one to a derro.

i particularly dislike teenage girls attempting to bum smokes from me at the bus interchange.

just cause im taking 5 and pondering the world through a portable smoke screen doesnt mean im a soft touch.

Indi 9:06 am 18 Jan 06

Solution – quit smoking…”every cigarette you smoke puts you one step closer to cancer. But I guess it’s soo cool these days to smoke.

RandomGit 8:34 am 18 Jan 06

My view on these happenings is that they needn’t be shared with all of Canberra.

But my actual comment, said without trying to be even remotely serious at the time, was that BM was assisting the guys addictive behaviours in general. Actually, I’m a tight fisted prick and wouldn’t have shared a cig based on that.

Thumper 8:19 am 18 Jan 06

My view of these happenings depends upon the moon cycle.

Either I say fuck off, or I simply couldn’t be bothered and give them a durrie so they’ll piss off.

Either way, it’s no skin off my nose and the smackhead disappears.

RandomGit 8:11 am 18 Jan 06

The above responses are totally reasonable, given the wholesale maiming of the English language and gross misquoting present in the article.

It’s ok BM, you tried your best. Just send your missives to me first for a proofread in the future M’kay?

DoppelFrog 11:41 pm 17 Jan 06

Can we have that again in English this time please ?

michael 5:42 pm 17 Jan 06

You’re surprised that you were accosted by one of Canberra’s more unique citizens while sitting down at Gus’?

colsim 4:54 pm 17 Jan 06

Sorry, just to clarify – you’re assisting his methadone habit by giving a ciggy?

RandomGit 4:26 pm 17 Jan 06


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