17 November 2014

Women of Canberra, you are spoilt for choice!

| Samara Gentle
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dating-drinks

On the 1st of November the Canberra Times published an online article stating ‘Single Canberra men absolute catches with women spoilt for choice’.

Excuse me while I snort in my coffee over this headline. I then proceed to read the article, which according to matchmaking service Blue Label Life (never heard of them) put out the 60 per cent of their members in their 20s are men.

It then continues on to call Canberra cliquey that if you move to Canberra as an adult it’s hard to make friends yadda yadda yadda.

I’m not surprised that a headline in the Canberra Times reflects the some what cohesive views of most of the comments I get – men are god, women are sneaky devils.

Firstly, from my experience and from my lady friend’s experiences, this in no way rings true. While yes there are more men than women using matchmaking services and online dating (in their 20s) the end goal does not match, therefore it creates an opposite imbalance.

The majority of men that my friends and I have encountered on online dating say straight away up front ‘I’m not looking for anything serious’ or ‘I’m not ready to settle down.’* Compared to the majority of women who are looking for something serious and are ready to settle down.

I’d like to see a survey that compares not just sex and age, but what people are looking for. We can argue black and blue that men just want sex and women just want babies, I’d really like to see a matchmaking service or dating app share the data. This is the important stuff, I don’t care how many men there are compared to women, I want to know how many are looking for the same thing I’m looking for.

Also, I’m not a native of Canberra, I moved here in my late teens. Yes, high school was extremely cliquey (what high school isn’t?). However as I’ve gotten older I’ve noticed most Canberrans are open to making new friends and meeting new people. I’ve made more friends in the past 5 years than my whole time at school.

Of course there are parts of Canberra that can be cliquey, but overall most Canberrans are pretty awesome. We love food, art, culture, good coffee, I personally can’t fault us.. clearly I’m biased 😉

*NB – This is a toned down version of the messages we actually received that are too explicit to publish.

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Evilomlap said :

With regards to you and your friends hearing “straight away up front ‘I’m not looking for anything serious’ or ‘I’m not ready to settle down.’”, I’ve dated online and in other ways, and I find that women use these phrases just as often as men.

I hear it approx 50% of the time from women when dating through various methods.
The men bashing articles from this writer does her credibility no good. It works both ways when it comes to dating and women are just as bad as men. It may not be the same thing, but women are equally responsible for dating failures as men.

With regards to you and your friends hearing “straight away up front ‘I’m not looking for anything serious’ or ‘I’m not ready to settle down.’”, I’ve dated online and in other ways, and I find that women use these phrases just as often as men.

Mysteryman said :

Have you considered that perhaps you and your friends are not a typical cross section of the females in Canberra?

Your insightful, restrained and diplomatic response is a beacon for us all as we try to navigate the chaos implicit in these threads.

Have you considered that perhaps you and your friends are not a typical cross section of the females in Canberra?

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