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Stop making fun of the Winters family or they “well kell oll you muts”

By 7 June 2013 86

car

This exciting email just in:

to contact
From: dylan winters
Subject: f*** you

Message Body:

you no if you kep saing thes stuf i well kell you oll you muts and josh winters i my and i men my big bruther so f*** off naw

Not quite flame of the week. A bit on the short side.

The Winters had completely escaped my mind but after a bit of searching I imagine it’s related to allegedly ramming a stolen car into a passing motorist and leaving that motorist to die in the burning wreckage.

Which I think we can all agree is a class act only matched by that email.

[Photo Courtesy ACT Policing]

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86 Responses to Stop making fun of the Winters family or they “well kell oll you muts”
#1
ScienceRules9:57 am, 07 Jun 13

Oh this will be fun!

#2
arescarti429:58 am, 07 Jun 13

What language is that? Anyone willing to translate it in to English?

#3
Jardeath10:02 am, 07 Jun 13

Natural selection really needs to speed up.

#4
ScienceRules10:05 am, 07 Jun 13

How about a revolutionary sentencing structure that includes locking troggs like this up until they can compose a coherent sentence? Should keep them out of the way for decades…

#5
FXST0110:07 am, 07 Jun 13

Gosh, I actually felt myself getting dumber whilst reading that email.

#6
pptvb10:09 am, 07 Jun 13

Even with a lot of thought & effort, I don’t think I could write that poorly.

#7
johnboy10:09 am, 07 Jun 13

I’ve often thought that sentencing based on educational achievement would have some benefit.

“I sentence you to two trade certificates and a bachelors degree”

obviously still need a minimum for the rare clever clogs (sadly usually pedos and embezzlers).

#8
jessieduck10:09 am, 07 Jun 13

The mind boggles.

Dylan has enough brain cells to read the original story and to type an email but can’t spell “keep” “all” or “now”. I’d say those are some of the easier words most 4 year old can wrap their heads around.

Weird.

#9
neanderthalsis10:11 am, 07 Jun 13

Jardeath said :

Natural selection really needs to speed up.

I prefer compulsory sterilisation, it takes the element of chance out of the equation,

#10
Solidarity10:20 am, 07 Jun 13

100% fabrication.

A pretty crap one too.

#11
johnboy10:23 am, 07 Jun 13

I can vouch it’s as sent to me.

Who would take the interest in these guys otherwise is beyond me.

#12
bundah10:36 am, 07 Jun 13

One word ‘wadcutter’!

#13
ScienceRules10:37 am, 07 Jun 13

I also love how it took Einstein Winters here 6 months to make the connection between the original post and writing his delightful response. The synapses fire mighty slow in his neck of the woods…

#14
460cixy10:41 am, 07 Jun 13

We got a live one here

#15
Dilandach10:48 am, 07 Jun 13

johnboy said :

I’ve often thought that sentencing based on educational achievement would have some benefit.

“I sentence you to two trade certificates and a bachelors degree”

obviously still need a minimum for the rare clever clogs (sadly usually pedos and embezzlers).

As long as they had to do it while in jail. Although I’m not sure it would be fair on some like ‘bruther dylan’ here. It would probably take a considerable amount of time for him to write something like a dissertation, most likely longer than any actual sentence. Amusing though.

Don’t worry Dylan, there is always a place for you and your ilk in society. Scrubbing toilets and shining my shoes. That is if you survive long enough and don’t take the Mully Express before you’re 25.

#16
Dilandach10:59 am, 07 Jun 13

Out of curiosity is there anything that has changed recently? I’m not sure if its just me but it seems that there’s an increase of late of badly spelt emails such as the perfect example above from some relative who has googled the name of someone who has been in the news for being a d***head then gets mad over what they see here.

#17
Mothy11:10 am, 07 Jun 13

As good a time as any to ask:

How is the victim?

Well Josh/Dylan? Do you know?

#18
PBO11:13 am, 07 Jun 13

bundah said :

One word ‘wadcutter’!

Too big a word and they wouldnt know what it meant and they would think that it may be a wanking term, remember that they are the lowest common denominator. Less than zero. A number so low that it can only be comprehended by the mathematically gifted and the insanely stupid (and I work with mathletes and economic savants).

arescarti42 said :

What language is that? Anyone willing to translate it in to English?

It is called Bo-Gan, a simple dialect which has no relation to Bo (A recently deceased language that was spoken in India’s Andaman Islands). It is similar to the Polish phonetic structure of spelling but that is where the similarity ends. Popular phrases include: “Howtherfukareya”, “Farkoffyamoll”, “Eyellfarkingoyakhunt”, “Whersmefarkinlongbeetchpakyakhunt” and the everpresent: “DOCScangoangetfukedcusdeyaremostlymykids””

“well kell oll you muts” is roughly translated as “I will dispose of your mixed breed hound for you good sir and good-day”.

#19
EvanJames11:18 am, 07 Jun 13

johnboy said :

I’ve often thought that sentencing based on educational achievement would have some benefit.

“I sentence you to two trade certificates and a bachelors degree”

Sentencing him to 6th grade would consitute cruel punishment, he’d really struggle.

This is where our taxes go, all the law enforcement and emergency services and legal shennanigans needed to deal with people like this.

Look at that email, I can’t understand it but the gist is, how dare anyone find fault with our behaviour or hold us to account? This person feels they have a right ot behave like this. There’s nothing you can do with people like this. Sometimes I wonder if the southern US states have the right idea… chain gangs and the like.

#20
thebrownstreak6911:52 am, 07 Jun 13

Dylan Winters was easily the toughest kid in year 5. Probably because he was 17 at the time.

#21
Mr Evil12:31 pm, 07 Jun 13

Jesus, some men and women really do waste their semen and eggs.

Another ‘graduate’ of Caroline Chisholm????

#22
HiddenDragon12:31 pm, 07 Jun 13

I take it from all of this that the Winters don’t give a Gonski.

#23
Ben_Dover12:49 pm, 07 Jun 13

I’m sure I could train my dog to write a legible post quicker than Dylan could be trained to do so.

I bet he hasn’t mastered, “sitting on the toilet; the right way to do it,” as of yet.

#24
Dante12:56 pm, 07 Jun 13

I’m not even sure that Dylan is old enough to have completed high school as of yet.

#25
Ben_Dover1:19 pm, 07 Jun 13
#26
watto231:39 pm, 07 Jun 13

Mr Evil said :

Jesus, some men and women really do waste their semen and eggs.

Another ‘graduate’ of Caroline Chisholm????

I kind of take offence at this and agree at the same time as the only confirmed graduate of Caroline Chisholm with a degree in engineering.

#27
Pork Hunt1:40 pm, 07 Jun 13
#28
Dilandach1:55 pm, 07 Jun 13

watto23 said :

Mr Evil said :

Jesus, some men and women really do waste their semen and eggs.

Another ‘graduate’ of Caroline Chisholm????

I kind of take offence at this and agree at the same time as the only confirmed graduate of Caroline Chisholm with a degree in engineering.

A god among poop flinging monkeys.

#29
thebrownstreak691:58 pm, 07 Jun 13

Does it strike anyone else as ironic that if you change the ‘T’ in their surname to ‘N’ it spells ‘WINNERS’…?

#30
smashton2:36 pm, 07 Jun 13

Oh good grief….have you seen Dylan’s facebook page?

https://www.facebook.com/dylan.winters.52

Check out the comments that go with his profile pic. His mum, Melissa, features heavily with accusations of sluttery and pedophilia against his female friends. Dylan calms the situation with this (censorship by me):

“f**k mum you not my mum so go sak a dike and shoot up and dont pek on my famell courtnie and just f**k you”

The winningest winners in town? If you disagree then you can go sak a dike!

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