20 February 2013

The Ainslie S***ter?

| DangerMouse
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Has anyone heard of the Ainslie S***ter?

Someone I know who lives there told me about a guerrilla defecator who has been taking random dumps on front lawns near her house.

They know its human because there is always toilet paper left as well.

Some neighbours resorted to putting up a “please stop s***ting here” sign.

Is this the Bum Laden of Canberra? Will this s***storm of terror never end?

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Anyone in Ainslie got a domestic methane production system?

Now this is the sort of s*** we should have on RA!!

This guy is not a myth here’s the proof – http://youtu.be/-41frDsZs8c

Also, a map of the previous targets – http://imm.io/XkaY

justin heywood10:53 pm 24 Feb 13

FXST01 said :

DrKoresh said :

Matt_Watts said :

I think they can do DNA tests on this, can’t they?

Not to mention that the culprit may not be from Ainslie themselves, but Hackett or Dickson or somewhere. The best criminal super-villains still abide by the old adage “don’t s*** where you sleep”.

Maybe the Narrabundah tyre slasher’s, alter ego.

Yeah, but the guy will never achieve legend status with a name like the ‘Ainslie shi**er’

How about the Brown Bomber? Or the All Bran Bandit?

Or more cryptically, The Bumblebee (his motions are apparently regular but his movements are erratic)

FXST01 said :

Can we just wipe this thread and go on with our lives?

What and be left with merely a smear,absolutely not!

Can we just wipe this thread and go on with our lives?

S*** happens.

poetix said :

Barcham said :

Look I think we might all be forgetting that these night time poopings may not be random.

We’re assuming this fiend is just targeting Ainslie, but has anyone looked for a connection between the specific locations? Do the victims have anything in common? Is there a pattern? ….

Alimentary, my dear Watson.

Watson is more affluent than Ainslie, less effluent though.

Barcham said :

Look I think we might all be forgetting that these night time poopings may not be random.

We’re assuming this fiend is just targeting Ainslie, but has anyone looked for a connection between the specific locations? Do the victims have anything in common? Is there a pattern? ….

Alimentary, my dear Watson.

Look I think we might all be forgetting that these night time poopings may not be random.

We’re assuming this fiend is just targeting Ainslie, but has anyone looked for a connection between the specific locations? Do the victims have anything in common? Is there a pattern? If we plot out all the points of attack on a map and ties red string between them will they draw out a gruesome image?

Anyone have a list of the addresses that have been hit?

DrKoresh said :

Matt_Watts said :

I think they can do DNA tests on this, can’t they?

Not to mention that the culprit may not be from Ainslie themselves, but Hackett or Dickson or somewhere. The best criminal super-villains still abide by the old adage “don’t s*** where you sleep”.

Maybe the Narrabundah tyre slasher’s, alter ego.

bundah said :

Robertson said :

bundah said :

Wouldn’t you just love to catch ’em in the act and rub their nose in it!

Not really, but it takes all sorts, I suppose.

Yeah but there would be consequences if you beat the crap out of them.

Perhaps someone has already beat the crap out of them!

‘Before you call Canturf, call Canturd.’

Astroturding.

Robertson said :

bundah said :

Wouldn’t you just love to catch ’em in the act and rub their nose in it!

Not really, but it takes all sorts, I suppose.

Yeah but there would be consequences if you beat the crap out of them.

I can’t stop imagining him as some sort of costumed super villain. Although every imaginary costume I conjure up in my mind is a bit gross.

I know so many people who complain that other people just don’t give a sh*t about them. When someone finally does start giving a sh*t people still complain! Just no pleasing some people.

Just post a sign next to it “Download of the Day”

Spiral said :

Sounds like that place must be a real dump!

I suppose we have all lived in a sh*tty place at one time.

Oh really, now you’re just being faeces-tious.

Sounds like that place must be a real dump!

I suppose we have all lived in a sh*tty place at one time.

Matt_Watts said :

I think they can do DNA tests on this, can’t they?

Yes, but apparently all you have to do to get away with bashing someone is to hide in your house and tell the police to go away. I imagine that not giving up sample DNA would be as simple as saying “piss off, officer.” when they come to your door.

Not to mention that the culprit may not be from Ainslie themselves, but Hackett or Dickson or somewhere. The best criminal super-villains still abide by the old adage “don’t s*** where you sleep”.

Matt_Watts said :

I think they can do DNA tests on this, can’t they?

Sure but only if they wanted to track someone down composed of corn and carrots.

poetix said :

Matt_Watts said :

I think they can do DNA tests on this, can’t they?

Are you volunteering?

A man’s got to know his limitations. I’m afraid I don’t have the expertise.

Matt_Watts said :

I think they can do DNA tests on this, can’t they?

Are you volunteering?

bundah said :

Wouldn’t you just love to catch ’em in the act and rub their nose in it!

Not really, but it takes all sorts, I suppose.

I think they can do DNA tests on this, can’t they?

You’re all crack-ing me up!

You help one neighbour fertilise their lawn and you get called the Ainslie S***ter.

They have diddly-squat chance of finding him…

LSWCHP said :

Actually, I hadn’t heard of the Ainslie s***ter before reading this post. And to tell the truth, I reckon I could’ve got by pretty well without hearing about him. Or her, unlikely as that may be.

I’m damn glad I’m not living in that neck of the woods right now.

Yeah – it’s kinda like Skid Row …

thebrownstreak69 said :

ToastFliesRED said :

maybe someone who is OCD enough to wipe their dog’s behind but not OCD enough to pick up afterwards?

Must be a fcking big dog!

Wilfred 🙂

thebrownstreak69 said :

ToastFliesRED said :

maybe someone who is OCD enough to wipe their dog’s behind but not OCD enough to pick up afterwards?

Must be a fcking big dog!

What would a brownstreak know about wiping butts?

…Hang on a minute, go on.

thebrownstreak694:41 pm 20 Feb 13

ToastFliesRED said :

maybe someone who is OCD enough to wipe their dog’s behind but not OCD enough to pick up afterwards?

Must be a fcking big dog!

Postalgeek said :

Does she live at Number 2?

And have the nickname “Nugget”?

Kerryhemsley said :

Has Don Lane been resurrected and posting under the name of DangerMouse?

OMG the rumours about Don Lane’s preference for glass-topped tables still circulate…

Actually, I hadn’t heard of the Ainslie s***ter before reading this post. And to tell the truth, I reckon I could’ve got by pretty well without hearing about him. Or her, unlikely as that may be.

I’m damn glad I’m not living in that neck of the woods right now.

ToastFliesRED2:31 pm 20 Feb 13

Maybe those two girls with that one cup finally had enough and have branched out?

Kerryhemsley2:13 pm 20 Feb 13

Has Don Lane been resurrected and posting under the name of DangerMouse?

ToastFliesRED2:05 pm 20 Feb 13

maybe someone who is OCD enough to wipe their dog’s behind but not OCD enough to pick up afterwards?

Happens at the ‘crack’ of dawn? He sounds poofessional though.

We used to have someone at residences dump a turd in the general toilet tiled area, but not in the bowl. The Brownish Bomber as he/she came to be known.

ewww…seriously???? it’s probably some hobo

Keijidosha said :

The answer is to build something like this:
http://youtu.be/uIbkLjjlMV8

😀 So beautiful! So simple!

Does she live at Number 2?

ToastFliesRED11:28 am 20 Feb 13

its the Brown Poo Poo Monster, a “natural” evolution from the Yellow Pee Pee Monster
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5V-_7Z7xt1g

Warning NSFW, do not watch if easily offended by modily functions. Do not watch if younger than 18, do not watch if over 18, do not watch if 18, do not try this at home or at your local shops. Just don’t watch it ok and don’t ask me how I know about it, ok I blame Tosh.0

Holden Caulfield11:20 am 20 Feb 13

DrKoresh said :

Holden Caulfield said :

Smoke less cones.

You mean “fewer”, surely?

Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

No, I meant Less Cones™. 😛

The answer is to build something like this:
http://youtu.be/uIbkLjjlMV8

Go down to Coles and buy one of those $30 android phones, install some IP camera software on it and stick it in your front window recording.

If the culprit is doing their business at night, then also get one of those motion activated floodlights.

Should be a good start.

I know who it is… it’s the Scatman! Ski-Ba-Bop-Ba-Dop-Bop…

But seriously, it’s a pretty awful thing to do on someone’s front lawn. The guy must be a real arsehole.

Now the Jerrabomberra residents who are living in fear of the slingshot bandit can see they don’t have it sooo bad.

Holden Caulfield said :

Smoke less cones.

You mean “fewer”, surely?

Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

Wouldn’t you just love to catch ’em in the act and rub their nose in it!

Holden Caulfield10:20 am 20 Feb 13

Smoke less cones.

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