2 April 2009

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! - Slamming arrives in the interchange

| johnboy
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The poetry slam craze is coming to Civic with a new slam starting at the Phoenix, planned for every third Tuesday of the month.

This from the event’s Facebook page:

    BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ THE PHOENIX, East Row Civic, the third Tuesday of every month
    Yes, you read right, BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ THE PHOENIX
    Sign-up 7pm, SLAMMING starts at 7:30pm; it is all over by 11pm


    BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is a new Poetry Slam starting in THE CANBERRA that will give ANYONE a microphone, and audience, and 2 MINUTES to perform WHATEVER. They will then be JUDGED by five judges chosen from the audience who PREFERABLY HATE POETRY, BUT WHO LOVE BEER!

    Yes, we will be hoping to get our poetry-hating judges as drunk as possible as they score YOU between 10 and Negative Infinity! The highest and lowest scores are dropped, and the three remaining numbers are added together WITH A CALCULATOR and the highest score WILL WIN FIRST PRIZE. Not to be out done by other Poetry Slams that only have one first prize, a random scoring system will be used to produce a second FIRST PRIZE WINNER! YES! Two winners. Then, again to doubly not be undone, a third person who has never slammed before, also wins!!!!!! Three winners! Exclamation mark!

    PRIZES: if you come first by scoring the most, you will receive CASH MONEY from the CHAMBERPOT OF DESTINY! If you come first by whatever cockamamie idea we’ve had then you will receive SOME STUFF probably a cabbage from the SIDE OF THE ROAD OF DESTINY. And finally, the third first prize will be an encouraging CERTIFICATE OF MERIT from the BAR COASTER OF DESTINY.

    April 21 at The Phoenix Bar, in the bus interchange
    Poets sign up from 7pm, Judges can start their cheap drinking from 7pm, Slam kicks off at 7.30pm!

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I am sooooo going to this. Sounds like a hoot.

Oh, I would have loved to hear about how you were a magical fairy princess! I can’t believe I could have missed such a big moment!!


It was about how I am a Magical Fairy Princess.

There are some great drunken poetry moments from babble Slam on youtube, especially Steve Smart abandoning his poem midway through to heckle the audience.

What was the piece you scored negative infinity for, Hadley?

Beer and poetry – creator of such poetic classics such as:

“Rose are red, violets are….what the f@rk are you lookin’ at, ya far…heh, you’re kinda nice lookin’…blargghhh….sorry about yah lap mister….zzzzzzzzzzz”

By Anonymous

I was the first person to ever be scored a negative infinity at Babble Slam in Melbourne. As the nature of Poetry Slams go, it was an honour.

I hope someone gets negative infinity from all five judges. After taking away the highest and lowest score from those scores, they can add THAT into their calculators.

Then you are a perfect judge. If you can’t come to the Slam then we will come to your lounge room and perform there. At 3am.

I don’t know if I hate all poetry, but I really hate people reading poetry aloud, especially poetry they wrote themselves.

We are actively looking for judges who HATE poetry. Your hatred will earn you cheap beer.

That’s right. Cheap.

Two minutes of “nutter of the month”?

Even though I would probably hate it, that rant makes me want to attend. I’ll have to work on my shopping list.

F#(kin A!

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