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bed room noise

By ACTResident 10 February 2014 39

I’m not making it news, I just need people’s advice how to handle this situation. Due to the nature of this problem, if you want to make joke, please go away as I’m serious. If you offer help, much appreciated.

I’m living in a house, the next house’s window opens to our windows very closely. I saw a man and woman entering and leaving that house, not sure how many people living in, but there are no kids or old people. Last weekend in the evening, the noise from their bedroom was so loud that we can clearly hear from our living room while watching TV, a woman’s heavy breathing and moaning, lasting about 5 minutes then became deadly quiet. This is disgusting, polluting and damaging! This happened a few times before, but this time was very loud and clear maybe because we all open windows in the hot summer. I can not let it happen again as it really hurts us. Try to imagine while a family with old people and kids watching TV, and suddenly broadcasting porn.

I do respect people’s privacy but I am also entitled for a clean living environment. I need advice, which is legal, effective, and not hurting them. Probably a reminder, but who can send the reminder ?

thank you in advance.


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bed room noise
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Maya123 11:00 am 12 Feb 14

Comic_and_Gamer_Nerd said :

This is pure gold, but umm, and same goes to OP, where exactly are you living that this happens? I know new suburbs are ridic close together but I did not think that close.

I can’t comment on this example, but I once lived in one of four flats. My kitchen window was next to the neighbours’ bedroom window. Sounds of the bedroom were difficult to miss. The windows shared the same wall.

maccatsi 1:39 am 12 Feb 14

Maybe the OP should take a listen to this song…

http://youtu.be/EPqOx-Smqrc

Comic_and_Gamer_Nerd 11:42 pm 10 Feb 14

Apsara said :

We had the exact same problem when living in a rental … so much verbalising, that one night I shouted out at their bedroom windows “oh hurry up Brad – make her pop – we’re all trying to get to sleep”

That seemed to have done the trick.

This is pure gold, but umm, and same goes to OP, where exactly are you living that this happens? I know new suburbs are ridic close together but I did not think that close.

Apsara 10:19 pm 10 Feb 14

We had the exact same problem when living in a rental … so much verbalising, that one night I shouted out at their bedroom windows “oh hurry up Brad – make her pop – we’re all trying to get to sleep”

That seemed to have done the trick.

gooterz 10:04 pm 10 Feb 14

She’s clearly not reading the-riotact.. Wouldn’t last 5 minutes these days.

Alderney 9:59 pm 10 Feb 14

Antagonist said :

Hopefully they will get married soon. That will put a stop to it.

Hear hear.

A man of the world speaks.

Antagonist 7:07 pm 10 Feb 14

Hopefully they will get married soon. That will put a stop to it.

astrojax 7:03 pm 10 Feb 14

he’s not the messiah, he’s just a naughty boy…

Sandman 5:55 pm 10 Feb 14

Close the window.

gazket 5:12 pm 10 Feb 14

hm hmm as you close the window. I’m sure your ears won’t start bleeding.

ScienceRules 4:33 pm 10 Feb 14

rbka said :

Stormfront Org post = riotact delete

And rightly so, too.

lobster 4:31 pm 10 Feb 14

5 minutes? Must have done a fair ammount of foreplay… AND done it twice…

Ian 3:49 pm 10 Feb 14

Play TISM’s “Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me” loudly.

eyeLikeCarrots 3:06 pm 10 Feb 14

Well I for one welcome our new shitposting overlords.

rbka 2:56 pm 10 Feb 14

Stormfront Org post = riotact delete

bundah 2:55 pm 10 Feb 14

Tell ém to put a sock in it or perhaps something more appropriate 🙂

PBO 1:18 pm 10 Feb 14

Ben_Dover said :

Record it, dub in some farmyard noises, and add a porn movie theme tune.

Then play it back once to them at high volume.

I agree, but with some Tom Jones “Help Yourself” trumpet thrown in.

If they are essentially sharing their experience with you then you should be able to partake in their experience with any meansthat your voyeuristic intentions see fit.

If they stop and ask what you are doing, just gently bite the back of their ear and say, “Shhh…it’s just how i do my thing, just be quiet and go along with it..(quietly slips into pair of furry ugg-boots and put’s on a russian hat) …mmmmmmmm, (Breathes heavy) no no NO, dont look at me, look at him”.

All while Tom Jones is singing:

“Just help yourself to my lips
To my arms just say the word, and they are yours
Just help yourself to the love,
In my heart your smile has opened up the door”

If they freaked out and have stopped doing love-stuff by this stage and are cautiously staring at you, then just keep going at the speed of a thousand startled gazelles whilst smiling and keep eye contact the whole time as it will make them feel really awkward and uncomfortable. At this point go even harder, throw your hands in the air and make some noise.

When they finally ask what is wrong with you, you should whisper/sing quietly in a psuedo-erotic tone:

Everybody needs good neighbours, with a little understanding…………

By the end of all this they (one or both) should either be sexually terrified of you and will keep the noise to a minimum in the future or it will open the floodgates to overly-neighbourly relationships.

Either way is a winner.

.

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