Biblical Plague in Giralang?

LSWCHP 22 September 2012 12

The plague I’m referring to is number 4 from Exodus:

“This is what the LORD says: Let my people go, so that they may worship me. If you do not let my people go, I will send swarms of flies upon you…”

So we don’t exactly have swarms of flies, but with the slightly warmer weather we are being afflicted with large numbers of really big, really fat, really lazy blowflies. They’re like the jumbo jets of the fly world, and most of them seem to have been smoking reefer, because they’re all noddin’ and chillin’ and kickin’ back as they slowly buzz around. One of them flew in to land on the back of my hand this afternoon, and just sat their placidly waiting to be swatted.

Has anybody else observed this, or do we just need to pay more attention to our personal hygiene and general cleanliness here at The Fortress.

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12 Responses to Biblical Plague in Giralang?
astrojax astrojax 12:36 pm 25 Sep 12

but the lord did hear the cries of victor and verily came he down and slew the maidens, causing their cotton wool buds to blow away and their kleenex to be laid waste utterly…

be victor.

poetix poetix 11:08 am 25 Sep 12

AAMC said :

poetix said :

Look on the bright side! It could have been boils (number 6).

Don’t be too sure; you should see my foot…….might be a blister tho.

So the LORD said, I will send a container of slightly rubbing shoes…and sauce bottles that give forth their contents in an almighty gush in the manner of another red sea…and endless advertisements for Abbusters…and little useless plastic clips for plastic bread bags…remote controls that vanish into the air…trolls who shall never satiate their lust for trolling…hideous bald nut bags who call themselves Christian (to mix up My Testaments a bit; who shall gainsay My right to postmodernism?)…talent shows and yeah, even talent show judges…Lycra clad boombaladas…and American carols in September.

So toughen up!

AAMC AAMC 9:23 am 25 Sep 12

poetix said :

Look on the bright side! It could have been boils (number 6).

Don’t be too sure; you should see my foot…….might be a blister tho.

PoQ PoQ 1:18 pm 23 Sep 12

Have you considered releasing the slaves? Do we have to wait for Lake Gininderra to turn into toxic sludge? Must we endure seven lean years? Repent!

LSWCHP LSWCHP 12:59 pm 23 Sep 12

Well, apart from some good comedy action here it looks like we’re facing this crisis alone. 🙂

Yesterday I sent 6 of them to join the choir invisible in about 15 minutes, and 3 more this morning.

I’ve checked around the place and haven’t been able to see or smell or hear any decomposing, festering, buzzing pile of nastiness within my perimeter, so I’ll assume that they’re flying in from a neighbouring property. I’m guessing someone close by has a dead rat or possum behind their garden shed that they haven’t discovered yet.

PBO PBO 2:05 am 23 Sep 12

LSWCHP, Why was I hearing Woody Allen’s voice when I read that to myself?

But in your time of obvious spiritual and biological crisis, imagine how Jesus would have dealt with a problem like this:

“Oh Father, I beg you please show mercy and F#$k off already with the flies! It’s bad enough that I holes in my hands and when I try to swat them they just go right through, but when I do finally swat one it just comes back to life straight away, all healed, better than ever……well for a fly at least. It just creates a vicious cycle of unnecessary suffering for the flies and its just a bit creepy.

Oh for my sake, Look, havent I suffered enough for their sins? I have had to fake my death, leave my wife and now i’m going back to Kashmir”

Doesnt seem so bad now, huh?

Spykler Spykler 10:47 pm 22 Sep 12

Prefer these to the early summer aggressive kamikaze types who go for your mouth, ears or eyes..They don’t stop until a fatal response is prompted.

MWF MWF 10:08 pm 22 Sep 12

Are you sure there isn’t something large
decaying in your backyard?

Comic_and_Gamer_Nerd Comic_and_Gamer_Nerd 7:19 pm 22 Sep 12

Gross. Saw a couple of huge ones outside chapman shops this arvo.

Deref Deref 7:10 pm 22 Sep 12

Pft. If Jehova was really pissed off he’d have sent a plague of politicians.


poetix poetix 6:39 pm 22 Sep 12

Look on the bright side! It could have been boils (number 6).

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