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Canberra Schools and changing lightbulbs

By johnboy 30 March 2007 38

Ducks emailed in the following joke doing the rounds which we thought amusing enough to be noteworthy:

So, just how many Canberra district school students does it take to change a
light bulb?

— Canberra Girls Grammar – One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

— Narrabundah College – Two. One to change the bulb and one to figure out how to get high off the old one.

— Lyneham High – None. They’re all too drunk to notice.

— Daramalan College – None. In a perfect school nothing breaks down. *Cough Shit hole Cough*

— Merici College – One. She’ll put through a call to maintenance staff because there’s no way she’s going to do manual labour.

— Yass High School – None. That hole looks better in the dark.

— Bruce CIT – Five. One to change the globe and four to discuss its benefits to future vocational training.

— Lake Ginninderra College – Six. One to change it but only after the other five have found an interpreter to translate the English instructions.

— ANU – Seventy six. One to change the globe. Fifty to protest the globe’s right not to change and twenty five to stage a counter protest.

— Canberra School of Music – Forty Three. One to change the globe and A 42 piece orchestra to accompany him.

— Canberra Boys Grammar – None. Those poor bastards are keeping their backs to the wall even if it means standing in the dark. “If you can’t get a girl get a Grammar boy”.

— Queanbeyan High – Five. One to change it, and four to go to Go Lo For new booner attire to wear for the occasion.

— St Frances Xavier – Five. One to change it, two to make sure her hair ribbons are still in place and another two to make sure her bag looks cool at all times.

— Belconnen High – Six. Four to break into the store, one to steal the globe and one to install it.

— St Clares College – None. It is too unsafe for pregnant girls to attempt such dangerous task.

— St Edmunds College – Five. One to install it, and four to tally the Number of times he says F*** or talks about rugby while he’s doing it.

— Karabar High – Five. One to change the bulb and four to complain that a school of their stature was ever built in Queanbeyan.

— Cooma High School – None. Everything not welded down had been flogged long ago.

— Dickson College – Fourteen. One to change it, one to throw the old one at the CIT students and six Italians and six Asians to kick the crap out of each other in the meantime.

— Marist College – Three. One to put in a formal complaint about the imposition, one to change the bulb and one to make the observation that it isn’t half as bright as the light shining from their arses.

— Goulburn High – None. Everyone is either suspended or wagging (including the teachers).

— Lake Tuggeranong College – Thirty One. One to change the blub and thirty to paint interpretive murals about it all over Civic.

— Batemans Bay High – Nobody bothered to ask because nobody cares about Batemans Bay.

— Gold creek high – 100. 1 to screw it in 1 to start a fight over it, 1 to call his 97 cousins to protect him

What’s Your opinion?


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38 Responses to
Canberra Schools and changing lightbulbs
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monomania 11:27 pm 14 Apr 09

And at Radford College. One person but we’ll say 30 and apply for another Federal grant.

monomania 11:24 pm 14 Apr 09

neanderthalsis said :

How many ACT Education Ministers does it take to change a school light bulb?

He won’t say because it was a decision based on advise to Cabinet. You’ll find out in 30 years.

trickydarts 9:36 pm 14 Apr 09

bubzie said :

I’ve seen so many versions of that, its losing its funnyness! (soo a word :D)

*Goes back to paining interpretive mural* 😀

or back to school .. it’s painting buddy

neanderthalsis 9:20 am 02 Apr 07

How many ACT Education Ministers does it take to change a school light bulb? None, he shut all the schools…

I-filed 7:00 am 02 Apr 07

When did Merici transform in people’s minds from what was always nicknamed ‘SCRAGGS’? It’s always been a down-at-heel school compared to St Claire’s hasnt’ it?

J Dawg 6:44 pm 31 Mar 07

Sorry, I’ve done a bit of a google search on this, turned up this:

– Radford College: None. The boys there were fighting over who would get to do it in order to impress the girls and score brownie points with the teachers that it never got done.

Also, here are some new additions or changes to the list:

– Daramalan: Five. One to change it, and the other four are just there to look up her skirt whilst she does it.

– Caroline Chisolm: None. Light bulbs are considered an illegal item in prison

– Hawker college: five. one to change it, and four to pick a frannies kid to beat up while he does

– Melrose High: None. No-one would have a clue how to do something requiring so much effort.

– Ginninderra High: Three. That’s the entire population of that school.

– Canberra High: Two. One to change it, and one to tell her if her fluro G-string is hanging out of her white pants in the process

J Dawg 6:31 pm 31 Mar 07

What would the radford joke be?

From memory, it was something like:

“None. The boys would be arguing about who is going to change it while the girls suck up to the teachers for brownie points.”

That was from one version of that I received about 2 (maybe 3) years ago, so it may not be word for word.

Gentleman Farmer 6:09 pm 31 Mar 07

Actually the School of Music one would be more like:

A: Five. One to change the lightbulb, four others to bitch about how much better *they* would have done it.

schmerica_ 11:36 am 31 Mar 07

Yeah, thats the one Ducks. It appeared in my inbox in late 2005 I think.

bubzie 10:16 pm 30 Mar 07

I’ve seen so many versions of that, its losing its funnyness! (soo a word :D)

*Goes back to paining interpretive mural* 😀

Vic Bitterman 8:40 pm 30 Mar 07

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Fish.

adeptacheese 7:56 pm 30 Mar 07

lyneham high till my liver gives out

Rara 5:25 pm 30 Mar 07

Anyone got a line for Canberra College – Phillip and Weston campus?

ducks 4:06 pm 30 Mar 07

This Nightlife Guide, schmerica?

http://the-riotact.com/sections.php?op=viewarticle&artid=215

I hadn’t seen that one, but I was looking for another one I saw here ages ago that was a PowerPoint presentation.

nyssa76 3:43 pm 30 Mar 07

Well it gave me a laugh after a busy week.

Sent it off to a few friends and they loved it too.

schmerica_ 2:52 pm 30 Mar 07

I think I first read this when I was in high school, I think in 1999? Although it has been updated to add in ANU and CIT.

One started last year named ‘The Canberra Nightlife Guide’ Well, that’s when I first got it anyway. Oh, and the ‘You know your from Canberra when…’

Not all spam is bad!

Thumper 2:46 pm 30 Mar 07

Wouldn’t Radford just build a complete new building rather than change the light bulb?

okay, lame, I know.

Where is my rock to crawl back under…

Woody Mann-Caruso 2:35 pm 30 Mar 07

Ditto on the Radford joke – I’ve got a grad here who’s waiting to see what somebody comes up with.

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