Could this ute get any more oz?

This fascination with Boganism among many Canberrans has always interested me. Is it our insecurity? Is it fear of our own inner bogan? (much like the old cliche about homophobes)

Since we’re generalising about a stereotype based on a photo of a car; in my experience;

– Bogan man’s vehicle is a public extension of himself. No different to the Public Service wankers who spend much more money on not-very-good cars with a ‘prestige’ badge, or middle class suits who think that buying a Harley makes them an outlaw on weekends

– If civilization as we know it breaks down, and the NRMA doesn’t come when your Subaru breaks down outside that nifty little café in Kingston, Bogan man is much more likely to be able to help than the average Canberran, many of whom are unable to change a tyre

– Bogan man is generally ‘blue collar’. He may not be able to contribute to the discourse in a 2 hour meeting about the wording of the mission statement for the acronym du jour, but he is generally willing to call bullshit when he hears it

-If you get stuck in ‘rural and regional’ Australia, Bogan man is more likely to stop and help. Hipsters are likely to speed past, desperate to get to the airport and back to ‘civilization’ (I have experience of this)

-Bogan man may indeed spend Friday night with his mates at the Kambah Tavern – which is probably a better way to spend your time than anonymously throwing stones at individuals on an internet forum

Skidd Marx said :

Where’s this cricket reference?

I suspect in this instance it’s unintended, but when the Australian Test team has a win they’re winning song goes like this…

Under the Southern Cross I stand
A sprig of wattle in my hand,
A native of my native land,
Australia you f@#king beauty!

Looks like it will be getting sung at the Gabba a bit later today. 😉

You see some amazing utes around Qbn (visitors, I think), the current craze seems to be to do them up like minature Mack trucks. Conargo Pub (wherever the hell it is) seems to have got its stickers on a shedload of utes too. And now utes have gone over to those shiny useless Suit Utes, a lot of young aspirant ute kids have gone for those weird little nissan ones, but it’s not the same. For proper ute cred, it seems that you have to get a pre-noughties holden or ford ute, or at a pinch, a brumby.

OzChick said :

Going down Belconnen Way, heading towards Charnwood…

Probably a visitor from Tuggeranong.

I’m sure the “Under the Crux we stand” rally call includes the citizens of the few dozen or so pacific islands that can also see the constellation…

Going down Belconnen Way, heading towards Charnwood…

All of the above – and then switch out the Holden badge for a Chevy badge to finish off the whole ‘I’m Aussie as, but my dream is to live in Alabama’ look.

I wonder how many times he’s been caught for DUI.

astrojax said :

a black ute? strewth, she’s gotta be green and gold, mate…

Demarcation. Rural utes are always white (supposedly cooler) – black is suburban.

Could do with a coathanger aerial bent into a map of Australia?

A blue heeler or a kelpie? Possibly a Staffie? But not a Maltese terrier or chihuahua or poodle. It has to be a ‘working dog’ or at least look a bit macho. Otherwise people might be confused.

a black ute? strewth, she’s gotta be green and gold, mate…

Aerials. You can never have too many aerials, irrespective of whether you use them all. It tells everyone you venture beyond the fag latte world of mobiles; Real Australia™ country. Added bonus is they stop the pigeons from crapping on your Pride and Joy.

Where’s this cricket reference?

More bogan than Ostrayan. Needs a “save the whales, harpoon a fat chick” sticker to complete the picture though.

Where’s the postcode sticker?

Certainly could use an enormously over-sized bull-bar that would be more at home on a Kenworth than a ute..Then attach another two CB aerials onto the bull-bar to complete the effect.

You can add a shotgun , a playboy bunny sticker, two naked women and ‘gone fishin’. That should cover it.

Apology not accepted.

Ha, this reminds me of when my sister (a well educated doctor owning a nice house etc etc) bought a classic white hyundi excel sort of deal. She was considering kitting it out with the whole bogan look-frangipani stickers, playboy car seat cover, horrible dashboard orniments ect. just to see if people would see the irony. We assured her they would not (perhaps her car would have made it on here too). Who knows, mybe the car in the photo is being driven by a gay refugee, we’ll never know…but if not I agree, some big spotties on the roof would top off the look.

Home and Away and Jason Donovan stickers would complete it.

And he could always find the place that sells those classy “Australia: Built with spanners, not chopsticks” stickers. Such a delightful lark.

TheDancingDjinn said :

I can see room for at least 2 more Eureka stockade flags there.

yep, also a bundy rum flag too, oh and some new CAT mudflaps.

I can see room for at least 2 more Eureka stockade flags there.

Seriously bogan. Have fantasised about getting hold of some deeply gay advocacy stickers and plastering them on similar vehicles, while their drivers are getting methylated at the Kambah tavern or somesuch. Realise I would need camo gear and reliable runners.

Bundaberg Rum and “Shoot Ferals” stickers ?

Family sticker, ‘f*&k off, we’re full’ sticker, big spotties on the roof – there’s a few ways to make it more Orstrayan.