8 February 2013

Matt Nelson, boy genius.

| Ben_Dover
Join the conversation
45
i will get you

Dear Matt,

I was young once, I know how hard it can be when you are trying to work out what girls are about. Obviously Abbey did something to upset you, maybe she put chewing gum in your hair, dropped your mobile phone in the loo, or kissed another boy. Or maybe she just wouldn’t let you put your hand inside her bra, we don’t know. So you decided to extract your revenge. Ok, not what most real men would do, but if that’s your choice, have at it.

However, you made one fundamental mistake.

How can I put thsi Matt? Writing your intent to “get” Abbey, on the wall of a busy office block, in two foot high letters, on a busy cycle path, behind the police station, probably wasn’t the cleverest of ideas, was it? You do know now that if any harm does befall Abbey, (we hope none does, obviously,) you will not only be the prime suspect, but there will also be evidence “written in stone” so to speak.

Pretty dumb move Matt. I’d go as far as to say, that is world class stupidity with bells on, and sprinkles.

Yours sincerely,
Ben

PS. It’s “you’re” as in “you are”, not “your”. Paying attention in school may have been a bit wiser than you gave credence too.

[Ed – Got an image of Canberra you want to share with the world? Email it in to images@the-riotact.com ]

Join the conversation

45
All Comments
  • All Comments
  • Website Comments
LatestOldest

or it could be: abby: your [sic] a dog and i’m going to get [you] matt nelson

so it could be matt who is grave fear of his wellbeing from the disgruntled abby…

or it may be just art? how much did katy’s team spend on this, and what universal mesage does it convey? is it a covert cry for attention, to bring into relief the cry for help of those without voices? or is it a reference to the power of some sectors of the community over others – represdnted here by gender inequality and so obviously a reference to ‘reclaim the night’ movements (not that the night wass ever ‘claimed’, so how one could ‘re-claim it is a mystery and perhaps this is obliquely and witily referenced in this genius work) and these are all ironically portrayed as graffiti to depict the only way the voiceless of the community can have a say on issues of importance to them, particulalry youth culture. yet violence is rife at all strata of the community, including the aged, so this is another wry depiction of the issue – a very cunning work and one on which our $230,000 is well spent.

@ Ben Dover

See what happens when you highlight a grammar error and you inadvertently bugger it up all the fusstedious gwamma nazi(‘)s are only tooooo happy to bend-u-over and ram it home!

Poetic justice one would have to believe, as I am a grammar nazi by inclination myself. Though it does one good to have an error eviscerated every so often, it keeps one’s feet on the ground.

LSWCHP said :

Deref said :

Disregarding the spelling and grammar, even punctuation would have helped.

Punctuation’s important. It’s the difference between helping your uncle, Jack, off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Come on Deref, admit it, you’ve been waiting for that opening for a long time, haven’t you? 🙂

Yes. Yes I have. 😀

You’re all missing the point. It’s an ingenious ad for Subaru.

Deref said :

Disregarding the spelling and grammar, even punctuation would have helped.

Punctuation’s important. It’s the difference between helping your uncle, Jack, off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Come on Deref, admit it, you’ve been waiting for that opening for a long time, haven’t you? 🙂

Ah, semiotics! Can’t live with it, can’t live without it.

That’s Saussure.

Tetranitrate7:25 pm 08 Feb 13

Jivrashia said :

bundah said :

See what happens when you highlight a grammar error and you inadvertently bugger it up

*nod*

Couple of things to remember when posting on the internet.

1. Goodwin’s Law
2. Muphry’s Law
3. Rule 36. NO EXCEPTIONS.The internet is a happy and safe place.

Uh actually it’s rule 34.

Pitchka said :

So if you are going to correct someone, be sure that your spelling is flawless.

(-:

Excellent advice. Though it would mean no-one would ever correct anyone, and that would be tragic. (I so wanted to write trajic, but I just couldn’t.)

Disregarding the spelling and grammar, even punctuation would have helped.

Punctuation’s important. It’s the difference between helping your uncle, Jack, off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

bundah said :

See what happens when you highlight a grammar error and you inadvertently bugger it up

*nod*

Couple of things to remember when posting on the internet.

1. Goodwin’s Law
2. Muphry’s Law
3. Rule 36. NO EXCEPTIONS.The internet is a happy and safe place.

@ Ben Dover

See what happens when you highlight a grammar error and you inadvertently bugger it up all the fusstedious gwamma nazi(‘)s are only tooooo happy to bend-u-over and ram it home!

Solidarity said :

Maybe Matt Nelson is some sort of dog trainer, and Abby is a canine who thinks she is people? It can be quite annoying when your dog doesn’t know not to sit at the breakfast table etc

HAHAHA! Awesome explanation! It all makes perfect sense now! 🙂

Hi OP, whilst we are correcting grammar/spelling, i noted this small typo…

“How can I put thsi Matt?” I believe the spelling is infact THIS.

So if you are going to correct someone, be sure that your spelling is flawless.

Sorry, my reply was in response to the quote below.

Duffbowl said :

Ben_Dover said :

tim_c said :

“PS. It’s “you’re” as in “you are”, not “your”. Paying attention in school may have been a bit wiser than you gave credence too.”

PS. It’s “to”, not “too”.

You think so? I’m not sure? Any other grammar pedants on here?

Sorry, Ben, tim_c is correct. You’re suggesting that they should have given credence to their education. “Too” just doesn’t work.

Then I accept that correction. Live and learn eh?

poetix said :

Deref said :

How many Matt Nelsons are there?

Sounds like a wrestling hold.

Reminds me of the catholic school wrestling joke. They had the full nelson, half nelson and father nelson…

Maybe Matt Nelson is some sort of dog trainer, and Abby is a canine who thinks she is people? It can be quite annoying when your dog doesn’t know not to sit at the breakfast table etc

Ben_Dover said :

tim_c said :

“PS. It’s “you’re” as in “you are”, not “your”. Paying attention in school may have been a bit wiser than you gave credence too.”

PS. It’s “to”, not “too”.

You think so? I’m not sure? Any other grammar pedants on here?

Sorry, Ben, tim_c is correct. You’re suggesting that they should have given credence to their education. “Too” just doesn’t work.

Ben_Dover said :

Jivrashia said :

Bend Over, just admit it.

You had a brain fart moment that lead to reading comprehension failure.

I still contend that each interpretation is apposite.

Ben_Dover said :

tim_c said :

“PS. It%u2019s %u201Cyou%u2019re%u201D as in %u201Cyou are%u201D, not %u201Cyour%u201D. Paying attention in school may have been a bit wiser than you gave credence too.”

PS. It’s “to”, not “too”.

You think so? I’m not sure? Any other grammar pedants on here?

You’re not one to admit when you’re wrong, are you Ben, even though you’ve publicly named someone and made several questionable accusations?

It’s ‘to’, a preposition, as in ‘you don’t give credence to an unsubstantiated accusation’.

Girt_Hindrance2:54 pm 08 Feb 13

Ben_Dover said :

tim_c said :

“PS. It’s “you’re” as in “you are”, not “your”. Paying attention in school may have been a bit wiser than you gave credence too.”

PS. It’s “to”, not “too”.

You think so? I’m not sure? Any other grammar pedants on here?

*CRASH!*
“Did someone call a grammar pedant? Yes, it’s to, unless it’s in excess, in which case it’s too- ie- too far, too loud.
My work here is done.”

FB said :

More like disgruntled employee. Abby is actually Bruce Abdullah, Matt Nelsons boss. Although not located in that building the are both employed by a directorate based there. Nuff said!

Well in that case perhaps one could assume that both Abdullah and Lord Nelson have conspired against the disgruntled operative prompting this work of genius?

tim_c said :

“PS. It’s “you’re” as in “you are”, not “your”. Paying attention in school may have been a bit wiser than you gave credence too.”

PS. It’s “to”, not “too”.

You think so? I’m not sure? Any other grammar pedants on here?

“PS. It’s “you’re” as in “you are”, not “your”. Paying attention in school may have been a bit wiser than you gave credence too.”

PS. It’s “to”, not “too”.

FB said :

More like disgruntled employee. Abby is actually Bruce Abdullah, Matt Nelsons boss

Sounds like they both made the right decision by letting this employee go. Especially with their atrocious spelling and grammar.

Deref said :

How many Matt Nelsons are there?

Sounds like a wrestling hold.

Jivrashia said :

Bend Over, just admit it.

You had a brain fart moment that lead to reading comprehension failure.

I still contend that each interpretation is apposite.

DrKoresh said :

The most offensive assumption of Ben’s has to be the spelling of Abby. Honestly, no matter how big she is, she’s not as big as a cathedral. Even if she were it would be ungentlemanly to say so.

Guilty as charged yer honor, I’d like 3300 other offenses taken into consideration, society is to blame.

Romans, go home.

Romanes eunt domus

Romans go home is an order!

Romani ite Domum

FB said :

More like disgruntled employee. Abby is actually Bruce Abdullah, Matt Nelsons boss. Although not located in that building the are both employed by a directorate based there. Nuff said!

How many Matt Nelsons are there?

*sigh* the moment you post, and realise you’ve stuffed it.

People called Romanes, they go to the house.

The most offensive assumption of Ben’s has to be the spelling of Abby. Honestly, no matter how big she is, she’s not as big as a cathedral. Even if she were it would be ungentlemanly to say so.

Romans, go home.

The people called Romans, they go to the house?

Ben_Dover said :

So we have two possible interpretations;

Bend Over, just admit it.

You had a brain fart moment that lead to reading comprehension failure.

FB said :

More like disgruntled employee. Abby is actually Bruce Abdullah, Matt Nelsons boss. Although not located in that building the are both employed by a directorate based there. Nuff said!

A rather primitive and low-rent way to get back at an employer. Why doesn’t he do what John Moulis does and post videos on YouTube so the whole world can discover what b*****ds his bosses and the other employees are.

Holden Caulfield10:57 am 08 Feb 13

frontrow said :

Where did you all learn to read? It’s right to left then down. Clearly the writer is buying dogs for both Abby Your and Matt Nelson.

C’mon, it’s a two column layout. This has been clearly marked by the fence posts, haha.

Where did you all learn to read? It’s right to left then down. Clearly the writer is buying dogs for both Abby Your and Matt Nelson.

Hmmmm. The threats against two people, Abby and Matt, certainly seem a possibility. However, I wouldn’t discount the sort of boy genius who would graffiti threats, being beyond stupid enough to sign it.

So we have two possible interpretations;

“Abby, you’re a dog. (And*) I will get you Matt Nelson”

(One would presume Abby has been doing the horizontal tango with Matt from this.)

Or:

“Abby you’re a dog and I will get you, Matt Nelson.”

(One would presume Abby has been doing the horizontal tango with everyone but Matt, from this.)

Fascinating, I’ll be on tenterhooks until I know the sordid truth. If only we had an Aussie version of “The Sun” newspaper….
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/

*One should never start a sentence with conjunctions.

dazzab said :

The way I read it, Matt Nelson is the one being threatened. I’d say Abby and Matt upset a previous boyfriend. Drama in the suburbs.

Ditto.

Unless Matt Nelson has the world’s least imaginative graffitist’s tag.

Holden Caulfield10:07 am 08 Feb 13

Pretty safe to assume that Abby (no e) and Matt are being threatened by the spray can bandit.

But, three stars for going to all this effort Mr Dover.

One more tip, when you’re going to have a go at someone for spelling or grammar, proof read your own material before hitting the submit button.

Hopefully, you will learn from thsi experience.

I’m not quite sure how someone could reach the conclusion that MN would be the one writing this on the wall when it’s clear that it’s a threat against him.

I do believe FB is correct regarding the workplace connection, therefore I think the individual writing this is probably known to them and a particularly stupid individual.

I wouldn’t like to be in the position of the individuals this fool has been stupid enough to graffiti, not only subject to the graffiti but now online for everyone to comment on an make assumptions.

Just to clarify I don’t think this was one statement written by Matt Nelson, rather two separate statements. One against Abby and one against Matt. It would be a monumentally stupid idea to threaten your boss on the side of your employers building.

You could just ask him when he comes back to correct the apostrophe.

It hasn’t occurred to you that someone other than Matt Nelson might’ve written it in a pathetic attempt to make Matt look bad?

More like disgruntled employee. Abby is actually Bruce Abdullah, Matt Nelsons boss. Although not located in that building the are both employed by a directorate based there. Nuff said!

dazzab said :

The way I read it, Matt Nelson is the one being threatened. I’d say Abby and Matt upset a previous boyfriend. Drama in the suburbs.

+1, I think!

The way I read it, Matt Nelson is the one being threatened. I’d say Abby and Matt upset a previous boyfriend. Drama in the suburbs.

Daily Digest

Want the best Canberra news delivered daily? Every day we package the most popular Riotact stories and send them straight to your inbox. Sign-up now for trusted local news that will never be behind a paywall.

By submitting your email address you are agreeing to Region Group's terms and conditions and privacy policy.