Monopoly busting Hargreaves takes on Norwood Park

johnboy 7 May 2007 22

It has been noted that the only obstacle to sensible, low cost cardboard coffins for cremation has been Norwood Park crematorium which profits mightily by clipping the tickets of all Canberrans seeking cremation as they pass into the hereafter.

The Canberra Times has the good news that John Hargreaves has let it be known that he’s planning to introduce a second crematorium, possibly in Tuggeranong, to bring some much needed competition to this essential service.

Mr Hargreaves said opening a second crematorium would improve standards, services and presentation. Prices should stabilise or come down.

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22 Responses to Monopoly busting Hargreaves takes on Norwood Park
johnboy johnboy 1:40 pm 17 May 07

We know the law was changed recently to allow it.

jenna jenna 1:35 pm 17 May 07

If there is still legal prohibition of the burning of cardboard coffins, as stated by Saskia, how could Norwood Park now be burning them. How do we know what is true?

VicePope VicePope 5:32 pm 10 May 07

Canberra Times reported this morning that Norwood Park is now doing cardboard coffin cremations. So the Hargreaves huffing and puffing worked this time.

Saskia Saskia 11:48 pm 09 May 07

Hi Guys I’m new here but i do want to point out that Mr Hargreaves only appears to have saved the day…….. Look at it this way… He only announced that he would have the ban on cardboard coffins lifted; it hasn’t actually been lifted. So Norwood Park is legally prohibited from burning cardboard coffins.. right? And they look like the bad guys. Now consider, a new public crematorium, which we pay for, building and operation, just so we can have cardboard coffins. THEY ARE STILL BANNED!!!!!!!!!! The ABC and the CBR times have jumeped the gun I’m afraid. By the way, i know it seems like it, but i have no affiliation with Norwood Park…!

Pandy Pandy 12:25 am 08 May 07

So who is making a killing from all this? I suggest there is more to this plot than meats the eye. I think more digging to get to the bottom of this story will need to be done.

el el 10:47 pm 07 May 07

Please guys, enough jokes.

This is deadly serious.

Ari Ari 7:35 pm 07 May 07

Oh, put it in your pipe and smoke it VicePope.

I’m incensed at your suggestions.

VicePope VicePope 7:17 pm 07 May 07

More hot air to keep Hargreaves on the grave-y train, je pense. Or perhaps, like the pollie he is, and facing the eternal fires as he no doubt will, he wants us all to share his pain, even if we’re dead when we do the sharing.

One of my many fantasies is that, upon croaking (which I shall do, at some point) my corpse shall be burnt to ashes, those ashes crushed powder small and that small heap placed in a container, ideally one constructed for the original purpose of bearing food of Asian origin from the place of purchase to that of consumption. The container will be handed to a trusted minion, ideally a 2.1m, 130k Pacific Islander of frightening appearance. This minion will go whence gather any of mine enemies or any other despised people, and blow some ash in their faces.

Ari Ari 6:18 pm 07 May 07

Well Riot-ACT does have a reputation for digging up all sorts of dirt around town, but I reckon this posting is just a rotten idea.

Stick to the underground music scene, I say.

VicePope VicePope 5:02 pm 07 May 07

Hearses for curses? It cinder public interest, ash far ash I can see.

jenna jenna 4:51 pm 07 May 07


Ari Ari 4:19 pm 07 May 07

Enough jokes everyone, it’s a grave situation.

jenna jenna 4:13 pm 07 May 07

Not for those of us who seem to follow hearses out there with monotonous regualarity. Ah, but for the dearly departed, you are correct! And they’re beyond caring.

Nik_the_Pig Nik_the_Pig 4:05 pm 07 May 07

But Jenna, it’s a once in a life time trip.

jenna jenna 2:24 pm 07 May 07

Woden is already nearly full, and I hear they are beginning to re-use some of the really old graves due to lack of space. Don’t know how true it is.

Seeing as Tuggeranong people have had to travel all the way to Mitchell for so long, how can we discriminate against them by denying them a service more accessible? Forrest is probably not feasible either due to lack of space, although I like the proximity to Parliament House. They could probably harness all that hot air to keep the furnaces going!

VicePope VicePope 2:18 pm 07 May 07

Where there’s smoke …..
But, if everyone gets burned up, who will be left to know where the bodies are buried?

cranky cranky 2:00 pm 07 May 07

First sensible thing this joker has done in years.

For his next trick, perhaps he could do the same for third party vehicle insurance?

astrojax astrojax 1:53 pm 07 May 07

aww vicepope, you kill us!

this is an issue the opposition won’t bury.

surely, really, some legislation will overcome norwood’s obstinancy – just make it unlawful for them to discriminate on the basis of the manufacture of the coffin. then it’s a dead issue…

VicePope VicePope 1:43 pm 07 May 07

Is this just another random thing for Hargreaves to say or is it a burning commitment?

bonfire bonfire 1:07 pm 07 May 07

we should use post hole diggers to dig graves, then use cardboard cylinders for coffins.

we could use the ones they use for cement forms.

less room, more efficient, cheaper.

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