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Parent Exhibiting Bad Behaviour at Junior Sporting Events

By BerraBoy68 - 25 July 2009 34

As I was pacing up and down the sideline while coaching my sons soccer team this morning, I became aware of a women standing beside the field swearing at one of my players.  The term she used was “F****** little shit“.   Astonished, I asked the women to repeat what she said and in response was asked if I had seen one of my players ‘stomp’ on her son.

I replied I hadn’t but asked her to point out which of my team had done this. When she replied that it was the one in blue, I had to ask her to be more specific as my team were, not surprisingly, all wearing the same colour.

When she pointed out my son I told the women I would deal with him during the next break in play and again after the game.  However, I also advised her that the language she was using was unfit to be used around children, especially noting that this game was under 7’s.  I also advised if she swore at any of my team again, including my son, I would have her barred from football.  As she then told me to *Fukc off* in front of the kids I asked someone to summon a club official and have her removed from the field.

As I had to keep coaching my team, I turned away only to hear this women again carry on with her tirade and me and my son. I was interested, however, to hear this clown say she wasn’t now swearing at my child but at me for not taking any immediate action, even though the incident was now some 5 minutes old, had not been pulled up by the Ref and the game was continuing. While I should have just walked away I told her again that I would deal with my son after the game but if she thought I was going to take him from the field and then smack and humiliate my son in front of her for her personal gratification she had another thing coming.  At which point I was called a bad parent, bad coach and told I should have nothing to do with kids, all in front of the parents.   It’s amazing how hard it is to struggle with your own emotions when confronted with an idiot like this woman but ended up just telling her that if she thought embarrassing her son by carrying on and swearing at an under 7’s player made her think she was parent of the year, she had better see a counsellor.

In any event, after the game the other teams coach asked me if I had seen the ’stomp’ and I said I didn’t as I had to watch the entire team plus deal with substitutes, however, by that time I had already spoken to my son about it and told their coach I would do so again at home. While she happily accepted this I told her that the behaviour of one of her players parents was appalling and should not be tolerated in kids sports, at which point the coach readily agreed and said that this women regularly overreacts at games.

Incidentally, after the game my son and several parents advised that my son had, in fact, stomped on this women’s sons leg but only after my son had been elbowed in the ribs and pushed over several times by him during the game when the ball was out of play –  no excuses for my son but getting two sides to the story were interesting.  I was also reminded that when we played against this team earlier in the season this same mother carried on a treat when another one of our players pushed her son in response to her boy kicking our guy’s legs though-out the game, even when the ball wasn’t around.

Interestingly, when speaking to club officials after the game they advised that they heard the woman swearing but they when warned her about her attitude and the consequence that she would be banned, she claimed that the club official and I had both attacked her. So in the face of her accusations she was allowed to stay beside the field and carry on her abuse.

I know many Rioters will regard this as a storm in a teacup, but I honestly thought bad sporting parents had been all but removed from Canberra junior soccer.  Should I seek to take this further or just let it go knowing this idiot will continue her abuse at future under 7’s games?  Also, does anybody know of any similar incidents at other kids sporting events in the ACT?

BTW: in case anybody say’s name and shame, I won’t name the club involved as they are normally great, but I do feel this woman should have been removed from the field for everybody’s benefit, including that of her own son.

What’s Your opinion?


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34 Responses to
Parent Exhibiting Bad Behaviour at Junior Sporting Events
Pandanus77 5:51 am 26 Jul 09

One of my kids was playing junior soccer on the weekend, her team is not the greatest, losing more than they win, but the kids have a lot of fun and we have a lot of laugh on the sideline. One of the kids on the other team had more than twice the skill level that any kid on our team had and was playing a blinder, after a few goals our kids finally worked out that they should be marking him and giving him less room to move. It was pretty good to see they worked it out for themselves and just gave him less room to move. His response was to just crack it and he started to play with some aggression, certainly more than our kids skill level warranted. it was about 5 minutes to half time and you could just see his temper rising in the countdown to half time. His coaches solution was to put him in goal for the second half with the apparent full approval of his parents. No tantrums, no swearing, just firm guidance from all concerned and a kid that wasn’t embarassed by his parents or by his coach, he was just rotated into goal to diffuse what may have turned ugly. Full marks to all involved in how to participate in a team sport and moderate on field behaviour.

ant 10:00 pm 25 Jul 09

Definitely take it further. Such disgraceful behaviour should not be allowed to continue, it should be pulled up. It’s depressing to think that people like this are raising children, becuase they’re raising losers and future criminals. It’s also a shame that people won’t speak up when this kind of thing is happening. Sure, it’s unpleasant and the person is aggressive, but people need to speak up more rather than letting them verbally assault someone without intervention.

Granny 8:26 pm 25 Jul 09

A Member Protection Information Officer (MPIO) is the first point of call in a club or sporting organisation for any enquiries, concerns or complaints around harassment and abuse. The MPIO provides confidential information and moral support to the person with the concern or who is alleging harassment.

To become a MPIO, a person is nominated by their sport and completes an ASC approved two-day course where they are assessed as to their competency to undertake the role. Once accredited, a MPIO is listed (with their contact details) on the member protection database. The database allows people in need of the services of a MPIO, to find a MPIO in their sport and/or their state.

Australian Sports Commission > Supporting Sport > Ethics in Sport > Member protection > MPIOs

The following MPIOs are listed for Soccer in the ACT:

Mary Anne Brew 0402114446 Member Protection Officer
Kathy Mumberson 0416 285 561 Member Protection Officer / Member Protection – children & young people
Heather Reid 0417 250 759 Member Protection Officer / Member Protection Mediator

I would contact one of these people and see what they say, Berra.

I sincerely hope that somebody does something as the message they have sent this woman and her child is that they will get to behave as they like if they intimidate enough people.

I may be wrong but I was once told by a policeman that it is illegal to swear at somebody, and if you had witnesses you probably could press charges, and frankly I hope that somebody does.

(Somebody had left a vile message on our answering machine, which was stupid, duh! … and that’s what the police advised us at the time. But I am willing to be corrected on this).

astrojax 7:44 pm 25 Jul 09

Spectra said :

I used to referee junior soccer. Suffice to say that parent is hardly an isolated case (though in fairness, most parents are fine and the majority are very positive – I guess that makes ones like this stand out all the more).
I finally gave the job away when a parent said he was going to find out where I lived, come around and kill me for sending his son off (who had just told me to “get f****d”, leaving me little choice in the matter) – his tone and distance from my face left little room to think he was trying to be funny. And all this to a 15 year old ref just trying to do his best. Can’t say I miss it.

does loui have a son playing football??

this sort of behaviour is reprehensible at youth sport and i applaud the op for the sentiment of sending the mother home and giving her a season’s red card – pity she had any support and was able to stay on the side line. her child might have been given a good lesson if she had been sent away and he had been sanctioned for his unsporting behaviour and shown what could happen to his participation, watching mum…

i have, in my past, coached under 7s and have also co-managed (and just watched, often running lines) a 13 – 15yrs girls side and have been amazed that some parents take it sooo seriously – like, wake up and smell the coffee, it is social sport, for exercise and some community bonding, not the world cup (and that sort of behaviour by someone allowed on the touch line at the world cup would see global headlines!). sheesh. some folk need reality checks.

vg 6:46 pm 25 Jul 09

Most kids with turds of parents on the sideline will end up growing up fat turds as well, as they will chuck sports in because of the behaviour of their parents. Yes, we’d all love to see our kids represent Australia one day. The reality is they probably won’t but let them have some fun trying. There are plenty of people who ended up playing various sports for Australia who showed no potential as juniors. The fact they were probably around an encouraging environment would have kept them in the sport until one day, closer to adulthood, they bloomed. If their parents were assholes on the sidelines they probably would have chucked it in because of the stress their parents caused them. Honestly, there’s nothing more pathetic than one of ‘those’ parents on the sideline

housebound 6:39 pm 25 Jul 09

Don’t worry about how bad it feels at the time – it’s the result of finding yourself wanting to be rational and well behaved while copping a tirade of abuse.

Full marks for self control.

It’s also a good opportunity to use as an object lesson about how plain silly bad behaviour looks in people who don’t grow out of it.

Overheard 6:32 pm 25 Jul 09

vg said :

You will find most of these turds don’t have a sporting bone in their body and live their lard-arse lives vicariously through their kids.

Generally when they are confronted by other parents who do have sporting bones in their body they wilt like the pathetic turds they are

+1

There’s no place for it in the game, and at Under 7 level it just absolutely beggars belief.

I’d follow it up, BerraBoy.

vg 5:46 pm 25 Jul 09

You will find most of these turds don’t have a sporting bone in their body and live their lard-arse lives vicariously through their kids.

Generally when they are confronted by other parents who do have sporting bones in their body they wilt like the pathetic turds they are

Spectra 5:20 pm 25 Jul 09

I used to referee junior soccer. Suffice to say that parent is hardly an isolated case (though in fairness, most parents are fine and the majority are very positive – I guess that makes ones like this stand out all the more).
I finally gave the job away when a parent said he was going to find out where I lived, come around and kill me for sending his son off (who had just told me to “get f****d”, leaving me little choice in the matter) – his tone and distance from my face left little room to think he was trying to be funny. And all this to a 15 year old ref just trying to do his best. Can’t say I miss it.

Ivan76 4:47 pm 25 Jul 09

ScrappyKat said :

And they wonder why there are bullies at school. It all starts at home.

Indeed, and for this reason the parent should be disciplined. If anything, to at least to let the child know that the mums behaviour is unacceptable.

Sounds like she’s trying to create a monster not raise a child.

Clown Killer 4:28 pm 25 Jul 09

It’s always sad to see parents living vicariously through their children, it’s sadder still to see parents modelling exactly the sort of behaviour that leads to a lot of the problems in sport.

Woody Mann-Caruso 4:06 pm 25 Jul 09

Team sports are for losers. My kids are going to a remote mountain prison somewhere in central Asia to learn ninjitsu from Liam Neeson.

bd84 3:58 pm 25 Jul 09

You’re always going find push and shove and kicking on the football field, it should stay on the field and be dealt with by the appropriate officials. No doubt the woman thought she was the world’s greatest parent, it’s fairly normal in foul mouth parents whose little shts of kids run around replicating their behaviour. She should be banned asap, I think it wouldn’t hurt to ban the child too.

ScrappyKat 2:56 pm 25 Jul 09

And they wonder why there are bullies at school. It all starts at home.

Gerry-Built 2:50 pm 25 Jul 09

…not hard to see where some children get their aggressive behaviour from – modeled so beautifully by their parents…

It is hard to teach a youngster not to be violent/aggressive, when they are simply defending themselves from the aggressive attacks of another turd’s child who hasn’t got basic social skills, because no-one in their life is a suitable role model… grrrrrrrrrr…

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