Poisoned Tree

But Meconium killing them first and then raping them means you can use their blood as lubricant. So says the bunny rabbit from Sotuh Park

Sorry guys… I didn’t mean that!

I forgot to say you’re supposed to torture them first.

Buutt… if you’re too much of a pussy to go through with all this, buy yourself a copy of GTA IV and do it all in-game. It just got released fifteen minutes ago!!!

(my copy’s in the post)

Kill them and rape their corpses, and repeat this practice to their extended families and friends.

Then get an assessment from Parks and Gardens saying that the tree’s death had nothing to do with them.

You might feel bad about it, but at least you got some action.

Don’t use a spray-bottle of glyphosate, use a long range soaker-style water gun, so you can target plants away from your fence, even as far away as the other side of their yard. Then they can get themselves totally offside with the other neighbors and make idiots of themselves with baseless accusations. Oh, and does their front lawn have enough bindi-eye weeds?

Ooh, I have a nasty horticultural revenge! Plant bamboo up against the fence! You might need to put a barrier in the ground on your side. Watch it invade their veggie patch, garden, and ultimately house. that stuff can push through concrete.

Hehe some good ideas here. I have neighbours who keep trying to grow roses up the fence and *so far* I have restrained my response to cutting off anything that comes thru the palings – in particular I have resisted temptation to reach over while spraying roundup :).

You are all nasty nasty people.

On topic- Salt or motor oil will kill the ground and make it fairly useless for planting anything in the future. Game, set match for nasty neighbour vege patch killing goes to Special G.

Place a horses head in their bed.

LOL. Best. Thread. Ever!

I second the crapping on the vegie patch suggestion. Even if they don’t get dysentery, you’ll know that at some point they’ve ingested your turd.

Hint…your gonna need some proof or it wont go anywhere. Being in such close proximity with plenty of opportunity to do it without incriminating themselves will mean that your gonna struggle to find proof(if indeed they did it)

Plant a new tree, one thats already mature, if that one gets killed off, you may well be onto a winner and establish that the first one was definitely not a fluke …. lol Maybe a good fence vine would do the trick ?

One question …. had they ever complained about the tree before, or anything else for that matter?

My neighbours blatantly killed a massive shade tree last year (nearly five times the height of their house) – ACT Govt did nothing. The culprits are ACT Government employees but claimed they ‘didn’t know about the tree protection legislation’. Neither the arborist nor my neighbours were investigated other than cursorily. The tree was deciduous, so didn’t shade them in winter.

If you need proof of the tree’s height, get a higher-res satellite image than the google ones. The shadows should indicate the height of your tree. Do pursue it – if the ACT Govt doesn’t start acting on this vandalism, people will continue to kill trees with impunity.

Sunflower seed will attract cockies, they are horrible! I feed them on my deck, and lately they’ve taken to snipping off my chili plants if the seed isn’t provided on time. So they’ll probably shred this veggie garden.

how i LOLed at the parrot seed suggestion – crap now my colleagues will know i’m not doing work 🙂

I second that comment!

Nasty words written on their lawn, with petrol, will let them know how you feel

poison their pet in retaliation.

how i LOLed at the parrot seed suggestion – crap now my colleagues will know i’m not doing work 🙂

Re Thumpers advice, the birds will also tear into the vege patch trying to get the seed and ruin the garden. Double whammy.

Bastards. Spray cyanide onto their vege patch.

Or get some cabbage moth. If they’re growing stuff now, it’ll be caulis, broccoli etc. crucifers, winter stuff. Cabbage moth (from those green caterpillers) does a lot of damage to those things (easily detered with dust though).
Go the roundup, that’s fitting.

Geez, glad I don’t live next to some of you guys!! Them’s some nasty retaliation suggestions for what is an unproven theory! 🙂 At best it’d be an eye for an eye, I think slowly poisoning them, or throwing my poo over the fence might be a tad overzealous!

I love the idea of a pandanus though.

Perhaps I should collect a couple of hundred snails, and dump them over the fence one night, let em go to town on the vegies.

Is pandanus the pine that grows those humungous pine cones? I scored one of those cones when a kid, and I still treasure it. Pine cone the size of a very large football!

As for something harmful when eaten, you may not be gross enough to do this, but human pooh used to fertilise salad vegetables is why why a lot of people get dysentry in 3rd world countries.

Or you could fling handfuls of weed seeds on their garden (although you’d better hurry up if you want to harvest weed seeds, might be too late).

Or all of the above!

if you want a tree that hurts things try a Pandanus. Anything with a 5-10kg kilo that drops once a year is a ripper.

Young (NSW) has a bunch of them on a main road, next to a school car park. At least once a year one of those nuts falls onto a car creating sweet havoc.

Bless em.

Plant a pine, once it grows the falling foliage will kill anything growing under it. Also I love the Roundup idea.

Don’t kill their vege’s. Spray a chemcical (not sure what) that will get absorbed by the veges but is detrimetal to a persons health after consumption. If you continue to do this long term it is you who will have the last laugh.

Spray their veges with Roundup.

That’s really rough. I’d follow the advice here and get it investigated. Was the tree shading their vegetable garden? If so, that might be why they did such a rotten thing. Well, two can play that game! bit of roundup in a spray bottle at 3am…

and the worst part is, it used to provide a good cover between the houses, now there is a big gap where we can see into each others backyards 🙁

It’s off to bunnings to buy some privacy screen fencing I think.

If they are the only ones that suffer any detriment as a result of the tree, then i’d say it’s odds-on that they poisoned it.

My condolences for having such shitehouse neighbours.

smokey4 said: “Remember they are your neighbours and you will have to live next to them well into the future. IS PURSURING THIS WORTH THE AGRO?”

Do you reckon they thought about that when they allegedly poisioned my trees? if i find out for sure it was poisoned, damn right i’ll be persuing it.

Unless I can confirm it, it’s just heresay and I won’t bring it up with them, but I did place the piece of tree up on the wall next to the fence with the hole and bag facing over the fence, so if they are guilty they will damn well know I know what they’ve done!

Remember they are your neighbours and you will have to live next to them well into the future. IS PURSURING THIS WORTH THE AGRO?

It is very easy to make enemies of your neighbours and then almost impossible to repair the damage.

Now for confessional time. Recently the neighbour over the back from my property pumped/stole several kltrs of water from my rear dam and someone else has been stealing my fire wood however I am also guilty of the same crimes. My neighbour to the North persists with growing Prickly pear cactus on the fence line. But he is Southern Italian and has a fantastic restaurant. So by ignoring the nigglely things I am ahead on points.

It also likely that the plastic bag was just there to fill the hole. The best way to kill a tree is with copper. Although drilling a hole is a waste of time. I have killed the vines in my yard using just a copper nail, and i killed the tree in my front yard with a nail as well.

Call APrks and Gardens, there is a bunch of folk whose sole job it is to adjudicate on tree health. damaging neighbours trees is an issue that they deal with on a daily basis. Ultimate result (if proven that neighbours were the culprits), costs to remove and replace with sensible shrubbery is theirs to bear.

Post it to the AFP HQ. If they close their mail centre, then it contained nasty stuff. Remember to put your neighbour down as the person who posted it, and await the report via the media release.

If the tree was big enough to be significant its an offense to damage it, – of course proof is going to be a bugger.

I dont know about testing, but I’d be considering dobbing them in re water restrictions… but only if my name wasn’t used at all, otherwise there could be an A Current Affair – worthy neighbourhood war on my hands.