The kangaroo menace comes to Garran

Caught the TV story on one of those morning shows this morning, slightly better presenting.

Went through the glass and all, answers my previous question, dunno why I didn’t think that. Doh! Was only being funny 😛

Would’ve been a shock and all… probably not quite as shocking as the mind of that journalist come Sentence Butcher Sarah!

They just had the guy on the Today Show.

I feel sorry for his kid. He just wanted to tell his dad to shut up.

Ninja’s indeed.

Funny carton in the CT today, with Rudd and Wong in a bed of coal, and Garnaut the rampaging roo bouncing on their bed – “I thought you had that one culled” says Rudd…

I have been wanting a cow to fall through my roof for some time. Some people have all the luck!

Still, despite the trashy reporting, a cornered frightened roo could hurt you quite badly…

Wonder who had the bigger fright, the roo leaping thru the reflection of an escape route, or the family in the looking glass?

STOP PRESS: Canberra Kangaroo goes global: http://shuurl.com/E3039

Granny said :

Bonds hero: Do you expect me to talk?
Kangaroo: No, Mister Bond, I expect you to die ….

That is gold.

fabforty said :

I was surprised though that there wasn’t a huge plug for Mr Ettlin’s restaurant.

“Mr Ettlin” (probably a fake name) has likely relocated and entered the witness protection program by now, hence the lack of publicity. You really can’t be too careful with those menacing roos…

fabforty said :

I really can’t decide who I think is more ridiculous – this couple or the so-called “journalist” that recounted their crap.

Do give Sarah Parkes credit by name … she deserves it! :]

It’s nice to see you getting a real buzz out of this thread Granny. I think it’s hilarious. Can’t wait to see the movie.

If it happened to me I’d be yelling, “What the hell are you doing to Skippy?! Stop hurting her you brute!!” and then when he’d wrestled the roo out the door it’d be like, “What did you have to go and do that for?”

Then I’d pack my bags and leave forever ….

Granny said :

Hoo hoo!!

This just gets better!

“My initial thought when I was half awake was: it’s a lunatic ninja coming through the window,” the 42-year-old said today.

A lunatic ninja … that was his initial thought?!

Good grief!

Indeed it does Granny…
A lot of lunatic ninjas in Canberra.
And this guy sleeps in his y-fronts heh? Hopefully not the ones he wore all day cooking at said restaurant? Ewww – that’d put a damper on the partner’s libido.

But to be fair, they were probably just telling the story as one of those ‘life in the burbs, with a twist’ stories, and the Times has turned it into a ‘tale of terror’, with the aforesaid atrocious sentence structuring thrown in for good measure.

I left a grumble on the comments bit of the story, but I wonder if they allow non-fawningly-positive messages to get through.

Yeah the one that got away!

Most people in Canberra are worried about letting insects in let alone kangaroos lol where were their screens I wonder?

I’m amazed anyone bothers to buy our paper! Shameful!

“Hi I’m calling about the kangaroo that hopped in the other day and it seemed a bit strange…”

http://shuurl.com/C3030

Remember every detail counts.

I expect that the size of the roo will grow with the re-telling. They’ll probably stick a few car chases in too.

The report said the roo was 40kg, that’s not a particularly big roo, and definitely not a bull roo.

Bonds hero: Do you expect me to talk?
Kangaroo: No, Mister Bond, I expect you to die ….

Pommy bastard said :

The injured animal jumped on top of the family, who hid under the covers, gouging holes in the furniture and spreading blood all over the walls, but miraculously without hurting them.

Hmmm an injured roo, spraying blood everywhere, leaping about in the bedroom? Obviously out to terrorise.

(Is it just me or is the above a particularly badly written segment?)

It’s not just you. Or perhaps the family did gouge holes in the furniture and spread blood all over the walls – all of which is no mean feat when you’re under a blanket with an enraged bull roo trying to piledrive you and the loved ones into pate, but perhaps a nervous tic one might develop under the circumstances. Anyway, apparently the walls and furniture were unharmed…

In overseas copy on this story, Rod McGuirk has attributed the following line to the wife:

“I think he’s a hero: a hero in Bonds undies.”

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/world/6300547.html

Hoo hoo!!

This just gets better!

“My initial thought when I was half awake was: it’s a lunatic ninja coming through the window,” the 42-year-old said today.

A lunatic ninja … that was his initial thought?!

Good grief!

I really can’t decide who I think is more ridiculous – this couple or the so-called “journalist” that recounted their crap.

I was surprised though that there wasn’t a huge plug for Mr Ettlin’s restaurant.

Not content with insinuating all Canberra suburbs are wealthy (“ritzy Yarralumla” as per a previous article), the Daily Tele has today described downtown Garran as “upmarket” in their coverage of the story:

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,25159886-5001021,00.html

If the roos are pillaging all our posh suburbs, god knows what they’re doing in Charnie…

The injured animal jumped on top of the family, who hid under the covers, gouging holes in the furniture and spreading blood all over the walls, but miraculously without hurting them.

Hmmm an injured roo, spraying blood everywhere, leaping about in the bedroom? Obviously out to terrorise.

(Is it just me or is the above a particularly badly written segment?)

Last year, I had a hawk chase a smaller bird into my house (in through the slidie door at the back and suddenly stopped by the absence of a bird sized egress). It was a bugger of a job getting them out.

It took me AND the man of the house ages to get them blanketted and outside. I didn’t scream. I didn’t need to alert the local media.

There was also the time a friend of mine had his car swooped by a magpie – it came in through the driver’s window and broke it’s neck on the other side. Again – no apparent need to alert the media.

Then there was the time . . .

Welcome to the Bush Capital, Swiss people!

‘I was under the covers thinking this is a very big possum.’

… As one does when encountering a 2m tall animal ….

*guffaw*

Other classic line:

‘I didn’t know what would happen if it got into my son’s bed.’

Those kangaroos are all paws!

Mr Ettlin, who is a chef and enjoys cooking kangaroo, thinks he might take a break from native cuisine.

Karma or revenge?

Even with the priceless quote ‘I screamed like a woman does’ and the Bogan Times’ usual in-depth reporting, I suspect this is pure fiction or at best a silly beatup. I thought it was just the Libs that were hell bent on making a buck out of commercial ‘harvesting’ of kangaroos.. Evidently Elmer Fudd’s lot are too.

3m fences? I thought I was being naughty by extending the height of my fences beyond 1.8m to shield my sheep from the dead eyed gaze of wandering hoons.

Best. Article. Ever. 😀

I’ve got craploads of roos all around me… my lawns are carpeted in roo pooh so you have to wear shoes when walking on them, but I’ve never had a roo come in and terrorise me! They hold battles under the deck sometimes, which generates some alarming thumps and bangs, but that’s about it.

“Skippy in home invasion scandal”

It could have been worse. The Canberra Times, in its new Pix Post incarnation, could just as easily have headlined the story “Innocent local kangaroo murdered by heartless migrant family of Aryan appearance” …

“Terrorised by a kangaroo”??

How about: A kangaroo in a yard was terrified by their dog and in its attempt to escape jumped through a gap, which turned out to be a window. Even more terrified and no doubt injured, the poor kangaroo was chased from room to room by the residents, with inevitable damage ensuing. Although eventually released, the kangaroo died a short time afterward from the shock.

(My extrapolation – I stopped reading the article part way through in disgust at the extraordinary editorial license being used by the journo/sub ed – well worthy of a Channel 7 ‘news’ report or a feature on Today Tonight.)