In our ongoing efforts to educate young rioters with the skills necessary to ward off scurvy while maximising their drinking budget in the new year please allow me to present an essential accessory for any young single, the housemate.
You might be able to afford a one-bedroom hovel where the sun doesn’t shine in Queanbeyan. Or, with the same money you can share something nice, somewhere nice. The downside is you have to share the same personal space, kitchen, and bathroom with nutball psychopaths you wouldn’t normally cross the road to piss on if they were on fire.
If you’re interviewing for flatmates make sure you ask them if they’re a nutter, the results might surprise you.
Also remember that any admitted substance use is, in reality, 10 times greater. “I like the odd drink” means “I drink every night”. “I like to smoke weed a couple of times a day” means “I am continuously stoned”.
If you’re being interviewed to fill a position remember that you’re trying to convince these people they want to spend 2/3s of their life around you. Try and engage them in conversation and find common interests. If the whole interview is spent discussing the new Strokes album, the Brumbies, or the latest exhibition at the gallery (just some examples) you’re probably going to get the spot. If you start demanding they draft a cleaning roster during the interview you might be waiting a while for their call.
Finally remember it is normal to be driven crazy by your housemates (and in turn to drive them nuts). It doesn’t mean they or you are bad people and if you stay philosophical about it you can probably stay friends, after you’ve moved out and waited a few months.
Just think of all the dinner party anecdotes you’ll have in years to come!
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