The tiny Abarth 500e might be an EV, but it sure doesn't sound like one

Ordinarily, if you told me you’d spent thousands of hours installing a speaker under the rear bumper of your electric car that makes it sound like a ‘Record Monza’ aftermarket exhaust, I would say that was silly. The same way you don’t buy a watch from Bali that says it’s a Rolecks.

But this is a silly car. So it’s perfect.

This is the new Abarth 500e, and you know the brief with Abarth. Take a Fiat, often a 500, and add enough stickers and go-fast bits so only a handful of people want to buy them.

So all these traits remain. The rear seats are useless, the interior plastics questionable and the price stratospheric.

On the positive side, it does still make you smile to look at it. Especially in its two colours – ‘Acid Green’ or ‘Poison Blue’ (check out the poll at the end of this article to see just how blue Poison Blue is).

However, like its Fiat 500 sibling, it’s followed the market trajectory and gone electric. There’s now a 42 kWh battery underneath and a bonnet full of electrickery.

By rights, then, I was prepared to criticise the fake noise, or as they call it, ‘Exhaust 2.0’. And yes, there is legitimately a speaker somewhere around the back imitating the sound of a Record Monza aftermarket exhaust from the outgoing Abarth 595/695.

To at least save you a Google search later, there is no button for it. You have to toggle through the settings on the little screen between their dials until you arrive at Display, weirdly, and then Electric Settings.

It’s antisocially loud at idle, and at highway speed, it drones like there’s an angry horde of bees just behind your head.

But after a few kilometres without it, the generic whine of the EV was boring me, so I ended up going back to the Record Monza.

It’s really well done. You can feel it through the seat of your pants – the grumble on take-off as the non-existent clutch pairs with the equally non-existent flywheel and the change in pitch as you come off the accelerator. You know, all that good stuff that gives a car soul.

In fact, I had it on until I entered an underground car park, then it seemed rude.

So, the worst thing about the noise is how hard it is to find.

There are three drive modes: Turismo, Scorpion Street and Scorpion Track – fortunately available through a cheap-feeling dial between the seats.

As far as I could tell, they only adjusted the earnestness of the regenerative braking. In Turismo, you’re basically driving with one pedal, while in Scorpion Track, it’s almost only charging the battery when your foot is on the brake pedal.

EV fanboys like to crow about the time a Tesla Model X towed a Qantas Boeing 787 in 2018. And there’s no disputing it can do it. The real, everyday-type question is ‘for how long?’ And in Scorpion Track, it’d be the same with this on an actual track.

The claimed range is only 253 km. Enough for a 160 km round trip on the highway from Sydney to the Central Coast to have me near sleepless with range anxiety.

The Abarth 500e, then, is a toy. It’s something to add zest to your commute.

With a 0-100 km/h time of 7 seconds, it’s just the right kind of nippy for city traffic, if not particularly forceful. And nor does it ride like the stiff shopping trolley you might expect.

It’s also easier to shrug off the $58,900 price tag for a toy too, the same way most of us wouldn’t even think to ask the Sea-Doo salesman about the price of a jet ski if we were in a position to buy.

Yes, this puts it on par with more practical rivals like the Cupra Born and MG 4 X-Power – both $59,990 – but they’re not really rivals. The Abarth is in a category all on its own. A very little one.

But it really is an absolute barrel of smiles – and that’s the first time I’ve ever said that about an EV. So, with just a little more finesse, the Abarth 500e could have been genuinely epic.

2024 Abarth 500e

• $58,900
• Electric motor and 42 kWh lithium-ion battery, 113 kW / 235 Nm
• Front-wheel drive (FWD)
• 0-100 km/h in 7 seconds, 150 km/h top speed
• 253 km claimed range
• 1335 kg (tare)
• 4-star ANCAP safety rating

Thanks to Fiat Australia for providing this car for testing. Region has no commercial arrangement with Fiat Australia.