What to do when an idiot is up your tail and honking?

Love your work, bitterman, exactly the kind of thing I’d do.

I also agree re the stupid moles in cars with flowers with big sunnies.

This same scenario happened to me this morning on my motorbike.

I was trying to turn right without entering the intersection till a suitable time as the cars on the other side of the lights were green and going straight ahead blocking me from going.

And I swear to god, I was so close to dismounting my bike and holding everyone up even more to see what the idiots problem was. Tell you what, here’s a warning for anyone going to do that to me again next time – I will rip your friggin horn out of your car and place it somewhere I deem it would do better use.

I think in that situation I would have reversed just enough to stop the car behind from easily travelling around me, and then just waited there for a couple more light changes!

but the last two lines don’t rhyme…

I like the Offspring’s approach….

Drivers are rude
such attitudes
but when I show my piece
complaints cease
something’s odd
feel like I’m god
you stupid dumbsh*t
goddamned motherf*cker!

frangipani tarts

Gold.

Geez, and you guys think the frangipani tarts are passive-aggressive 🙂

Piratemonkey said :

Oh and if they decide to follow you, clear your schedule, don’t speed, dont do anything too dangerious/illegal just make them follow you on the most random slow speed drive of their life. Indicate one way, turn the other, random u turns, make them work for their i’ll founded and entirely unlikely retibution they so clearly hunger for. So much fun.

LOL! I like it, Piratemonkey! That is gonna keep me chuckling quietly to myself for the rest of the day!

No no no no. Bust out the middle finger and do anything to piss them off as much as possible.
Then should they get outta the car, grab a handful of reverse, throw in some revs and watch them run for their life. If they don’t run move a bit. If they still don’t run its time to flatten them.

I had a rather obese old fart running faster then i thought humanly possible the other day. He even jumped and slammed his van door behind him. 🙂 Much rofl followed.

Oh and if they decide to follow you, clear your schedule, don’t speed, dont do anything too dangerious/illegal just make them follow you on the most random slow speed drive of their life. Indicate one way, turn the other, random u turns, make them work for their i’ll founded and entirely unlikely retibution they so clearly hunger for. So much fun. Oh and if things get outta hand re-read my first point.

DawnDrifter said :

lol @ ant and bitterman
may take a leaf out of your book if it happens to me. I got one of those bike racks attached to my toe bar, would make a nice impression on the offending tossers front end

Hmmmmmm. I think if someone ran into your ‘toe bar’, you might have to foot the bill.

lol @ ant and bitterman
may take a leaf out of your book if it happens to me. I got one of those bike racks attached to my toe bar, would make a nice impression on the offending tossers front end

I saw one with the classic red line across a circle thing: F.CK FRANGIPANIS.

I saw that sticker too! It was a spoof on the domestic violence ads. I wanted one.

Although, really, those frangipanis are like a big red flag: warning, passive-aggressive little tartbitch in car.

Sticker I saw the other day: Frangipani stickers – Australia Says ‘No’.

there is apparently a facebook group to the effect of ‘i reserve the right to run into you if you have frangipani stickers on your car’. word.

So true about the skill-less, rude little chicky babes with their giant sunglasses and horrible frangipani stickers (they fade, those things, and look even worse before long!), usually with a witty sticker like “the bitch” or something equally repellant.

The problem with them, other than their amazing behaviour, is their utter lack of driving skill, knowledge of basic rules, and complete oblivousness to the concept of courtesy.

Ah well. They’ll be pregnant before long, and miserable. Good.

^ Or you can post their numberplates on this site…

http://www.canberraonline.com.au/driverreport/

Don’t know how effective this site is though.

I wonder what happened to canberraroadwatch.com? This site had heaps of reported bad drivers.

Just post the number plate here, it seems the RiotACT’s way of naming and shaming people/businesses etc

S4anta said :

I tend to find following them, waiting for them to park then leaving a steaming turd on their bonnet does the trick.

That’s true, and you will often find them somewhat hesitant to actually get out of the car.

But if you do manage to miss them, you can always pack it up under their door handles…..

What to do when an idiot is up your tail and honking?

Tell them you don’t do it goose-style.

This exact situation happened to me a few years ago. Intersection blocked, I was at the front, and wasn’t going to drive forward and potentially block the intersection should the lights change.

The tard behind me was beeping, gesticulating (wow, such a big word! 🙂 wildly and generally carrying on like a pork chop.

I popped my car into reverse and slowly went backwards until I made contact with the front of his car. A gentle touch, but I saw it rocked his car. Note, I have a tow bar. I then selected first and rolled forwards 50cm or so.

The pork chop stopped carrying on.

Good luck trying to claim any damage done was from me *reversing* into him! 🙂

She did exactly the right thing – ignore her. Nothing infuriates somebody chucking a tantrum more than denying them the attention they so desperately want.

Speaking of black cars: is it just me (and/or self-confirming bias), or is there a new class of idiot on the road? It’s not your traditional bogan or ricer – it’s girls in recent model black cars (with one or more of the following – rims, frangipani stickers, personalised plates, ricer sticker), sunglasses bigger than their cretin heads and something to prove. Keep your eye out and see if you notice these precious darlings. It’s like Paris Hilton meets Mad Max.

“A block up a truck”

Being a visual person, this phrase really stumped me. I spent a long time trying to figure out what kind of a block was up the truck…

A big protrudng tow bar and selection of reverse gear tends to shut them up.

S4anta, in such circumstances I’ve found it’s a good idea to do the macarena hip movements while laying cable to achieve a satisfying Mr Whippy effect.

S4anta said :

I tend to find following them, waiting for them to park then leaving a steaming turd on their bonnet does the trick.

Yes but I could only achieve that once a day… the timing could be a challenge.

I tend to find following them, waiting for them to park then leaving a steaming turd on their bonnet does the trick.

Brake hard. That way they crash into you and it’s their fault. Lesson learned.

Put a cap in the bitch’s ass!

oops that should be “watch” not “was”.

Of course the only problem with this is that they may injure someone else and you’ll be stuck behind the accident.

switch on hazard lights, was them surge round you and run into something 🙂

riotACT – Is there any series of gestures with which one can inform an idiot

on topic, there probably is, but this is a family site. i always find a polite smile does the trick, actually…