3 February 2009

Aww, crap! (Deterring dog muck)

| shanefos
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My dining room offers a commanding view of my front nature strip and I enjoy my breakfast of a morning watching the human and canine traffic walk by.

However, I’m becoming increasingly frustrated by one particular bloke who insists on allowing his two dogs to defecate on my nature strip.

This morning I swear he looked straight at me as I stood looking out the window at his little darling pooch taking a dump on my nature strip.

Being unsuitably attired I wasn’t able to go out and confront the guy so I yelled out “I hope you’re not letting your dog sh!t on my lawn?!”, but he didn’t appear to hear me.

TAMS has helpful advice, but it seems a bit much to make a complaint to Domestic Animal Services when the guy would only get a $50 fine if he was caught by an “authorising officer”.

Apart from the obvious (confronting the bloke or stalking him and leaving flaming bags of excrement on his doorstep), does anyone have any advice as far as doggy-deterrents go? I’ve heard a couple of soft drink bottles filled with water will stop dogs from crapping on your grass, but does that really work?

I don’t particularly care for my nature strip (in that I haven’t planted anything on it and rarely mow the grass on it), but I do walk across it on a daily basis and would rather not have to run the gauntlet through Barkersville!

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Alas, the past three mornings I have awaited the return of the furry white poo machines and each time they have walked by without even a cursory sniff of the grass on my nature strip!
Perhaps the bloke in question is a fellow RiotACT aficionado?

tylersmayhem1:24 pm 04 Feb 09

Wanna know something really gross? My dog eats fresh turds, especially cat ones.

This distinctly reminds me of a birthday party I went to when I was about 8. It was around at the kids place, yeah – you know him…he was the one who always got the head lice, smelled a bit like poo and the family was poor as hell – but some of the coolest people. Anyway, he had 2 mongrels and the party stopped when the black dog saw it as apprope to drop trow in the middle of the pass-the-parcel game and do the dump of the century. The staked were upped when the ginger haired dog ran in to the game as well and proceeded to eat up the steaming mess.

All of us kids lost it and panicked when Ole’ Ginger decided to start his own game of “chase the little ones and lick them”. Memorable indeed! 😐

my hound’s doings in the back yard go white in a couple of days – when i don’t get round to picking them up that is (which i usually do – just wanted to note the observation)

so, what diet are our furry friends on then, if this is affecting the faecal colouration?

my 46kg rotty girl gets a handful of kibble in the morning, supplemented by a can or sardines or a whole raw egg (shell intact) about two or three times a week), and a couple handfuls at night with a handful of ‘protein’ (either a lamb’s heart, chunk of ox heart, chicken wings, etc) has a brisket or other bone every so often.

Beserk Keyboard Warrior said :

Wanna know something really gross? My dog eats fresh turds, especially cat ones. Absolutely rank and does little to improve her breath. Makes me wonder whether I should get her put down?

Gross is smearing the special, toxic cream around and in the hole where your pet’s cancer used to be.

Feed the dog pineapple. For some reason after pineapple has passed through a dog it’s so unappealing even the most avid poo-muncher won’t touch it.

The turd eating dog was on last week in the “It’s Me or the Dog” tv series on Ch10, in that case it was due to a neglectful breeder.

gun street girl12:10 pm 04 Feb 09

I think I get the picture; I’m just struggling with the concept. In all the years I’ve had dogs, I’ve never had to do that. Thank god.

Think carefully now, do you -really- want me to explain?

gun street girl11:50 am 04 Feb 09

Skidbladnir said :

They also won’t need their anal glands manually squeezed, because their poo is harder.

What the…?

mother of many11:42 am 04 Feb 09

Yup – commercial dog food makes for some retch-making aromas, both from your dog’s rear end and from its front end too.

If you want some informative debate on dog diets, try Dogz Online; their forums have threads on pretty much anything dog-related.

I repeat – you essentially are retarded, social intelligence-wise, if you can’t bring yourself to pick up your dog’s crap.

Beserk Keyboard Warrior11:34 am 04 Feb 09

tylersmayhem said :

Why is it that dog poo never seems to go white these days. I remember as a kid, there’d always be white chalk sticks around the yard which were once dog turds. They never seem to turn white any more!

Haha that’s a bloody good, albeit random observation TM!! I remember the white turds. If you had to step in a turd then they were the most benign.

Wanna know something really gross? My dog eats fresh turds, especially cat ones. Absolutely rank and does little to improve her breath. Makes me wonder whether I should get her put down?

Dogs eating sufficient amounts of meat and bone should have their poo turn white after only a short time.
They also won’t need their anal glands manually squeezed, because their poo is harder.

tylersmayhem10:47 am 04 Feb 09

Why is it that dog poo never seems to go white these days. I remember as a kid, there’d always be white chalk sticks around the yard which were once dog turds. They never seem to turn white any more!

Pandy said :

I walk down many walkways, seeing dog crap, they don’t reek.

It depends on how long they have been sitting there and what the dog has been eating. My dog can lay out some absolute stinkers sometimes. Yes I do pick them up , I have been known to dry retch in the process but that’s just a part of dog ownership. Its not that hard to carry a plastic bag home with you, double bag it if you have issues.

Best Thread Ever. I’m dying here (luckily not at work, I’m gazing upon the slopes of 2 very expensive Utah resorts).

I take it the shanefos in his dressing gown snapping one off is doing it on the poohing-dog man’s front lawn? That would be perfect. Unless he lives in a flat. In which case, you could just move operations to his doormat.

Pandy said :

I walk down many walkways, seeing dog crap, they don’t reek.

I remember walking to the bus interchange to get to work and gagging at the stench coming from what squirted out of some dog’s arse on the footpath, with the flies trying to land on your face the final insult. Old dog doo is fairly inert, the fresh stuff can be quite aromatic.

Claymore. End of story.

I walk down many walkways, seeing dog crap, they don’t reek.

mother of many7:04 am 04 Feb 09

bd84 said :

I don’t carry plastic bags when I walk my dog, I’m not going to carry a plastic bag full of steaming sht around for half an hour as much I would sht myself and carry in around in my dacks for the same amount of time especially when there are no bins to put it in. quote]

In that case you need to get over yourself. If my five year old son can see the sense in this less pleasant aspect of dog-ownership, what is your excuse – are you claiming to be less socially intelligent than he is?

Frankly, it sh1ts me to tears to be walking my (three big) dogs and see how much dog crap is lying around. The walkways that go down between houses reek – I feel sorry for the people with houses on either side, picking up and transporting dog poo just requires a little less self-regard and a tiny bit of intestinal fortitude.

Mind you – there is a dung-beetle researcher here in Canberra who has several species of native dung beetles that colonise dog crap, if that is all there is to colonise – maybe we need to lobby the local pollies to sponsor a mass release of a few different types in the suburbs.

It is the nature strip . Not your front yard.

It’s both. People are protective of the road in front of them when they drive, and people are protective of the yard they have to maintain.

Don’t be rude. Pick up your (and you are responsible for your animal) litter

I don’t carry plastic bags when I walk my dog, I’m not going to carry a plastic bag full of steaming sht around for half an hour as much I would sht myself and carry in around in my dacks for the same amount of time especially when there are no bins to put it in. But then I don’t allow my dog to go on anyones lawn or on/directly near any footpaths, she happily goes off in the long grass or scrub on public land where people don’t walk.

It is the nature strip . Not your front yard.

mother of many7:46 pm 03 Feb 09

*sighs*

I personally find that ‘too good to pick my dog’s poo’ attitude teeth-grindingly irritating.

Add to it the ‘my dog HAS to shit SOMEWHERE, f***ed if it has to be in MY yard!’ attitude, and I get that choked-up, gonna-go-psychotic sensation. The one where I say things, loudly, to people that I am convinced they need to hear.. or that I need to get off my chest, or something.

Personally, I like the idea of nipping outside with a plastic bag, and helpfully (and loudly) explaining it is for him to use, to pick up his dog’s crap himself.

If he ignores you… pick up the crap in said bag, then throw it at him (don’t forget to say ‘catch!’) either right then and there, or whenever you see him next.

Good luck with it. You are entitled to do/say something – he is really asking for it.

If he is smaller than you then beat him to within an inch of his life

Then move address. He knows where you live.

Rawhide Kid No 26:07 pm 03 Feb 09

niftydog said :

No idea what you look like, shanefos, but right now I’m picturing a 30-40 something man in a dressing gown, squatting down and snapping one off on a grassy front lawn while a guy with his dog looks on, horrified.

He probably looks like Arthur Dent.(The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy)

Die Lefty Scum5:58 pm 03 Feb 09

Thankf god stuff like this doesn’t happen in Kambah.

If he is smaller than you then beat him to within an inch of his life. If he is bigger than you then just put up with it. Any other action merely disrupts the foodchain.

My favourites so far…

Two words: potato cannon.

Mail any poo left behind back to him.

pick up the dog poo from the previous day in a bag/newspaper. Then next day when he comes past follow him home and tip it out on his front lawn/nature strip

or sever his legs; then he’ll be taking that l’il hound on no more pooing excursions!

Or, after stalking him to find his address, write a nice letter explaining your issue and requesting he refrain from allowing it. Then make several copies and send them to him, animal control, law enforcement and anyone else you think needs to know.

Or

Mail any poo left behind back to him.

Tell him you’ve just called the police ….

*heh heh heh*

Print this out – http://www.legislation.act.gov.au/sl/2001-30/20010830-505/pdf/2001-30.pdf, and place it on your lawn.

When you see the guy next, ask if he’d kindly get your dog to crap on items 19 and 20 on this document instead of the lawn……because that’s what the owner is already doing. 🙂

19 – not removing faeces – $50 fine
20 – not carrying equipment for removal of faeces – $50 fine

The otter would make a better dinner party story.

If you don’t feel like a confrontation maybe try purchasing a bottle of Citronella from any hardware store (it’s about $4), and lightly spray it around the yard. Dogs hate it.

you need a large, hungry dog, like a rottweiler or something, and unleash this in a surprise ambush as they approach. may still defecate, but he won’t be stoppping…

When I noticed a bloke was regularly using my nature strip as his dog’s toilet I kept an eye out until I saw him step onto my strip again, bolted out as the dog started to let rip and started sharing my feelings about the situation, including my thoughts about having to mow the grass ( this was back in the days when it rained ) with his presents peppered throughout, or having to dodge aforementioned presents further along if I had to step off the street onto someone else’s nature strip.

As he beat an embarrased retreat pulling the dog along I raised my voice so he could hear better, not having the footwear for a road pursit, and I suppose the entire street knew my feelings by the end.

He changed his route so his dog crapped elsewhere at the beginning of the walk and by the time he passed my house the dog was quite empty.

tylersmayhem11:14 am 03 Feb 09

No idea what you look like, shanefos, but right now I’m picturing a 30-40 something man in a dressing gown, squatting down and snapping one off on a grassy front lawn while a guy with his dog looks on, horrified.

Awesome – so very “Me, myself & Irene”! I can picture it now! 🙂

Who is lucky enough to have a footpath ?

So, when you say “nature strip” do you mean your front lawn, or the strip of grass that runs between the footpath and the road (what I would call a “road verge” but a lot of others seem to call a nature strip.)

No idea what you look like, shanefos, but right now I’m picturing a 30-40 something man in a dressing gown, squatting down and snapping one off on a grassy front lawn while a guy with his dog looks on, horrified.

luther_bendross10:31 am 03 Feb 09

Two words: potato cannon.

tylersmayhem10:16 am 03 Feb 09

I’ve got it, invite Clint Eastwood and his Gran Torino around for a few weeks. Problem solved!

a couple of soft drink bottles filled with water
My dog likes to pee on them.

As someone who carries plastic bags around with them on a walk, I hate it when I see dog poo on my front lawn.
This works, and is slightly diplomatic. Get ready for him (i.e. wear suitable attire), and when you catch the dogs in the act, go out front with a plastic bag, and politely ask him if he’d like a bag to pick that up with. It will be really hard for him to say no.

Blackberries. About as inpenatrable as barbed wire, and you can make Jam (useful if you run out of Plum Jam).

You could pick up the dog poo from the previous day in a bag/newspaper. Then next day when he comes past follow him home and tip it out on his front lawn/nature strip. Keep doing it until he gets the idea.

Plant thistles?

I did have one really good one grow in the garden last spring, but alas I dug it out. Do they grow from cuttings? Do any nurseries in the ACT sell thistle seeds?

Build a porch in front of your house. Install a rocking chair. Buy a banjo.

I suggest a combination. Get some extra strength citrus oil, squirt it in the hose, hook it to the sprinkler, and Roberts you Dads Brother.

Next time it happens take a picture.

Post it here.

Madame Workalot9:34 am 03 Feb 09

LOL Shanefos 🙂

Seriously though, it’s worth a try before resorting to other, more devious (and infinitely more amusing) measures.

I second s4anta’s suggestion of citrus scents.

Madame Workalot said :

Here’s a wild suggestion – maybe try asking him politely not to let his dogs crap there first?

What? And completely discount the oodles of levelheaded advice I’m sure to obtain on RiotACT? Are you insane?!

Oh, and please take a video camera out there with you when you hose him down… this one should be pretty fun to watch =)

Most pets find any citrus oil offensive, and mint or menthol ranks a close second.

Orange, lemon mandarin peels, oils etc. pop a few around, due to the offending dogs heightened sense of smell he should quickly decide to find another locale for the best work of his day.

Madame Workalot9:22 am 03 Feb 09

Here’s a wild suggestion – maybe try asking him politely not to let his dogs crap there first? Doubtful this will have any effect, as anyone who lets their dogs crap randomly without picking it up is probably pretty selfish, but worth a go, surely.

Then go the sprinkler option. Preferably using smelly water.

Set up a sprinkler, put a chair next to the tap, take the paper and some vegemite toast and wait…

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