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Cooked out of his skull…

By Pommy bastard - 20 July 2009 36

Ironically, I was walking my dogs down to Cook shops to buy a couple of beers. (5.30 pm Sunday 19/7)

On the grass by the old Cook Primary School, I came across a geezer face down on the grass. Got into rescue mode and started doing the business. (I trained in mountain rescue, and still keep my skills up.)  Pulse fine, airways unobstructed, no obvious head injury, warm, eyes responsive, voice quiet (?epilepsy? ?diabetes?). Flagged down a guy on a pushbike, and he got on the blower for an ambulance, (the response he got was atrocious!) A young lady pulls her car up, having seen him there, and offers to assist.

When sonny Jim hears us phoning for an ambulance, he kicks off with loads of verbal and gesticulating agro, unfortunately his not being able to stand hinders this. He threaten to “do us all” if he ends up in an ambulance as he’s “only had a few drinks” and “know I’m a bit pissed” so we shouldf “F*ck off” and “stop interfering”. Well thank you too pal. I stand guard. (fortunately I’m also a black belt, second dan.) He then collapses again. My friend on the bike is still trying to convince 000 that we either need an ambo, or a cop, to assess this guy, but they aint keen.

Then matey staggers to his feet, and makes a winding way down the road, stopping only to fall in the gutter several times, and then to decide to have a sleep in the middle of the road . We watch over him. He has a brief lie down outside Cook shops, gives an elderly Chinese couple some verbal, and makes off down Lyttleton Cres, interupting his journey only to kick over a few dustbins and walk into a tree.

He then has a kip in the gutter once more.

By this time a fair crowd has gathered, and an ambulance arrives, so I, having better things to do with my time, leave them to it.

So if you’re reading this; geezer on the bike, top job mate in the face of unrelenting 000 disinterest. Other people who stopped, good on you for caring. Big fella that offered to thump the miscreant, good thinking.

Mate on the grass /out of your face, next time I see you I will recognise you easily. However, you will not be able to recognise me, as tonight you couldn’t even recognise the way up. I will take great pleasure in laughing in your face. You win the prize for being the biggest waste of skin I have had the displeasure of meeting in some time. May all your Sunday evenings bring you such pleasures as you had tonight, you deserve it.

What’s Your opinion?


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36 Responses to
Cooked out of his skull…
Pelican Lini 1:54 pm 20 Jul 09

Re: ebony 57
Now there’s a suburban marketing campaign for yer:
Fings go better with Cook!
Cheers, PB, I’ll be ‘avin two pints of lager and a packet of crisps in yer ‘onor.
‘Ow’s ver cricket goin’?

PBO 1:48 pm 20 Jul 09

ebony57 said :

Probably yet another of the charming customers of the dealer on Lyttleton. She’s been there for years, is well known to police et al, but apparently they are waiting to “catch the supplier”, or some such nonsense. Calling crimestoppers about her is a waste of a phone call – nothing ever happens.

Nice use of a government housing property, though – maybe the gubmint should get a commission on her sales.

Would this be the “Karen” that i have heard about from some police friends? I always wondered why they did not bust her but i heard it was because she had a deal worked out with them. From what i have heard, she sells a few pounds a week.

ebony57 1:35 pm 20 Jul 09

Probably yet another of the charming customers of the dealer on Lyttleton. She’s been there for years, is well known to police et al, but apparently they are waiting to “catch the supplier”, or some such nonsense. Calling crimestoppers about her is a waste of a phone call – nothing ever happens.

Nice use of a government housing property, though – maybe the gubmint should get a commission on her sales.

Jivrashia 12:37 pm 20 Jul 09

Jivrashia said :

let natural selection run its cause.

“Course” not cause.

Ronnie said :

I reckon I would have done this sorry gutter wretch with two swift yet slightly uncoordinated chops.

You have to first yell “It’s coming right for us!”

Pommy bastard 12:31 pm 20 Jul 09

My thanks for the replies.

The guy was so drunk/stoned/out of it, my darling daughter could have taken him with one hand tied behind her back.

Even though he was claiming to be drunk, there was no profound alcohol smell, and his presentation, first on the ground, then after, was not of a common or garden drunkard.

I’m guessing, but I think (if he hadn’t taken heroin, or some other soporific) he may have had a head injury, or as I said above, epilepsy/diabetes. (?Psychosis?)

Cor blimey, do what? You’re avin a laff me old china!

Pelican Lini 12:01 pm 20 Jul 09

Gor blimey guv’ner,
What a super geezer you are wiv yer mountain rescue skills and black belt, second dan.
And, fair dues, you’ve every right to give that geezer some verbals for bein’ ‘ow’s yer favver” in public, and givin’ no “respect” to yer Good Samaritan act.
Yer ‘avin’ it large, givin’ it sum and doin’ ve bizniz, old matey.

c9 12:01 pm 20 Jul 09

I’ve had the same problem before with an ambulance or police reluctant to come. The man was drunk, missing teeth and had been knocked out cold. I explained to 000 that even though he said he didn’t want an ambulance, my judgement was that he needed one. They dispatched police instead – and took 45 minutes while he played in traffic on Melrose Dr. Only cared because I was at work and he was discovered at our site. At least I discharged my obligations, but had he been hit or something happened to him afterwards, I don’t think the emergency services discharged theirs.

Ronnie 11:58 am 20 Jul 09

Jivrashia.. you’re dead right!!

PB and the Cook rescue gang – well done. Great to know people like you are out there. Like you PB I too am a master of a martial art. I achieved yellow belt (just) in Taekwondo back in ’84 and I reckon I would have done this sorry gutter wretch with two swift yet slightly uncoordinated chops. To the drunk dude – You’re lucky you walked into a tree and not me! (spoken in a Mr T voice)

TP 3000 11:48 am 20 Jul 09

I’ve also had a similar incident out at Point Hut Crossing on a Sunday morning, I was walking down to the water when I notice a still body, I chuck the dog back in the car & I called 131 444 (Police assistance) they answered pretty soon & just got me to try & wake the person. In my case it was another drunk person sleeping it off, but my thought was she was dead & I wasn’t going to touch the body & get blamed for the murder.

Jivrashia 11:22 am 20 Jul 09

PB.

As much as I commend highly for your altruism,
there’s a point where you have to step back and let natural selection run its cause.

There’s a line in the sand that separates humanity and beasts. The first couple of verbals from the creature should have alerted you that you’re dealing with a beast of the jungle and, in the same way that film crews never interfere in the affairs on the plains of Kenya, you should have left this creature be.

barking toad 10:43 am 20 Jul 09

Fair play to you sir for trying to assist the moron with the enlisted aid of the cyclist.

Can you really get that wasted just from the drink? Suspect there may have been other substances involved.

And while I can appreciate Ambos getting sick of calls to assist drunks & druggos, that’s not a call for a phone operator to make. If a call is made by someone on the spot, especially with a person on the scene with some expertise, just despatch the ambulance.

(Things have never been the same since those blokes jumped on the moon 40 years ago!)

Postalgeek 9:55 am 20 Jul 09

We need less nasty bashings and more good thumpings in this world.

bergamot 9:22 am 20 Jul 09

Had a similar experience, a chic was passed out at a bus stop, looked like she was going to roll off the path onto the road and get run over by said bus. When we tried to help she tried to get up and run away – didn’t make it too far though…. She didn’t seem to believe we only wanted to help get her home safely.

caf 9:21 am 20 Jul 09

Is it really the place of the ambulance phone operators to debate the need for an ambulance with you? Precisely how much medical training do they have?

Wraith 8:55 am 20 Jul 09

Top notch for helping, should have give him a kicking for giving you a mouthful for trying to help.

Bloody good story though, nicely written, laughed my ass off.

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