Ironically, I was walking my dogs down to Cook shops to buy a couple of beers. (5.30 pm Sunday 19/7)
On the grass by the old Cook Primary School, I came across a geezer face down on the grass. Got into rescue mode and started doing the business. (I trained in mountain rescue, and still keep my skills up.) Pulse fine, airways unobstructed, no obvious head injury, warm, eyes responsive, voice quiet (?epilepsy? ?diabetes?). Flagged down a guy on a pushbike, and he got on the blower for an ambulance, (the response he got was atrocious!) A young lady pulls her car up, having seen him there, and offers to assist.
When sonny Jim hears us phoning for an ambulance, he kicks off with loads of verbal and gesticulating agro, unfortunately his not being able to stand hinders this. He threaten to “do us all” if he ends up in an ambulance as he’s “only had a few drinks” and “know I’m a bit pissed” so we shouldf “F*ck off” and “stop interfering”. Well thank you too pal. I stand guard. (fortunately I’m also a black belt, second dan.) He then collapses again. My friend on the bike is still trying to convince 000 that we either need an ambo, or a cop, to assess this guy, but they aint keen.
Then matey staggers to his feet, and makes a winding way down the road, stopping only to fall in the gutter several times, and then to decide to have a sleep in the middle of the road . We watch over him. He has a brief lie down outside Cook shops, gives an elderly Chinese couple some verbal, and makes off down Lyttleton Cres, interupting his journey only to kick over a few dustbins and walk into a tree.
He then has a kip in the gutter once more.
By this time a fair crowd has gathered, and an ambulance arrives, so I, having better things to do with my time, leave them to it.
So if you’re reading this; geezer on the bike, top job mate in the face of unrelenting 000 disinterest. Other people who stopped, good on you for caring. Big fella that offered to thump the miscreant, good thinking.
Mate on the grass /out of your face, next time I see you I will recognise you easily. However, you will not be able to recognise me, as tonight you couldn’t even recognise the way up. I will take great pleasure in laughing in your face. You win the prize for being the biggest waste of skin I have had the displeasure of meeting in some time. May all your Sunday evenings bring you such pleasures as you had tonight, you deserve it.