[Ed. CG has kindly kept us in the loop on this one with further updates on the case from ABC online here]
I have been watching the posts about the Daramalan and Marist College sexual abuse by Paul Lyons and Brother Kostka for some months now. I have been watching the news and reading the reports, and also doing my own research for nearly a decade. (google “kostka” “marist”) There are some interesting opinions shown here on the RiotACT about this issue and I have appreciated reading them all……albeit sometimes difficult to keep an eye on all the different streams of comments.
Although I have been wanting to comment for some time…..I have found it difficult to post…..as I am also trying to come to terms with being a victim of that dirty pedophile Paul Lyons……(actually….I have being trying for 19 years).
I think I have finally realised that now it’s time to sort all this out once and for all, and start dealing with it rather than keeping it in the bottom drawer.
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Firstly I would like to say a few things……..I understand that there are good teachers, in all schools, and that this type of chronic sexual abuse is probably not happening anymore at Daramalan or Marist (well lets bloody hope not), but one thing has always stuck with me………where has the common moral duty gone from our teachers, schools, and more so, our society?
Lyons, Kostka and the others, well they are just simply, dirty, filthy pedophiles, treating our local schools as kiddy supermarkets. Looking for vulnerable kids to pray on for their own needs. Abusing them and putting them back on the shelf when they are finished. Wrong, disgusting…..inexcusable….(or in a language that the clergy will understand)…..unforgivable. Even by God’s standards……..(if he ever really gave a shit anyway). It’s dirty pricks like that that sometimes give reason for arguing for the death penalty. But that is another issue.
Others knew what was going on. That is a fact. Teachers, school management and the clergy……..yet what was done? Nothing. Nothing at all.
Well I shouldn’t say that. Some parents complained…..(actually a lot of parents complained over time….finding them to testify is the issue). Teachers complained….(I know of two teachers that complained on numerous occasions…..and have heard of many more.) Some were ignored, others relocated, some even forced out. But still nothing was acted on. No punishments…..against the pedophiles at least.
But I would have thought that common sense would say…’if you reported an incident of sexual abuse against your child to the school, and the school said, “nothing will be done”, (or after time you realised nothing was being done), surely you would report it to the police?’ Or go to the police in the first case? Wouldn’t you? Or am I missing something here? Seems like common sense to me.
As for Teachers…….where is their moral duty? Their duty of care?
It is becoming apparent that these schools did nothing to stop the sexual abuse when informed of it…….. But in as much as each school is responsible for the wrongdoing and their failure in their duty of care to their students, they also have a duty of care to all students. Don’t they? In otherwords, isn’t Marist responsible for sending Lyons to Daramalan, as it is alledged they knew of his issues as much as they knew of Kostka’s. Offloading him doesn’t reduce their obligation….it worsens the failure in their duty of care…..to all.
As for the teachers and parents. The one’s that knew all along…….and did nothing. I hope they are feeling equally guilty for the prolonged abuse of so many boys. Guilty for their inaction…(I know I am for not coming forward with my case of prolonged abuse)…if only for the abuse on their own child or those in their care.
Don’t they say inaction is participation…..?
Victim numbers are estimated into the 100’s (some say maybe 1000’s….over 30 years)…….not that we will ever know, as the vast majority will never come forward. Because like me, they have probably questioned whether it is worth opening the pandora’s box, exposing their family/children to the shame of what they themselves have felt all these years. Some won’t have told their wife’s/partner’s and have probably been denying it to their parents enquiries all this time. (God knows what would happen if some of my life long friends would say if they found out)………No matter what….the damage is done. It cannot be taken back, or reversed….nor fixed. We can only hope that coping mechanisms can be used to minimise life long trauma…. (and I don’t mean alcohol or drugs….although it has worked for me for years).
Yet there is something else that can be done. We can use our increasing anger to remind people of their moral obligation to report abuse. Use our anger to remind organisations like the church and our schools of their moral and legal obligation to report and prosecute the abuse……..and use our lawyers, to send a clear statement that failure to act will be a million times more costly than taking action in the first place. We need to make this so painful that they would never consider repeating their abuse, or inaction.
Reputation and political risk is what they try to avoid by sweeping it under the carpet in the first place……but I say let’s fight this in the courts if only to get this recognized in the public eye for what it is. And let’s fight it in the ‘court of public opinion’ to shame all these bastard for doing nothing. For allowing the sexual abuse of children to continue…. decade after decade.
I know I wouldn’t send my children to a pedophile sympathetic school. But then again, how do I know if their school is or isn’t? Again, another issue.
How the current parents of Daramalan and Marist students must feel everyday when they send their kids to school, wondering……..worrying……. “is someone fiddling with my child today.”
How those boys that took there own life (because of this abuse) must have felt. I feel for their families. I cry for them.
Finally…..a big thank you to the two boys that originally came forward to formally complain around 2000/2001 about their own terrible abuse by Lyons while at Daramalan. Thank you for your efforts in speaking out and taking this to court. Your selflessness has given 100’s of others the ability to resolve this grave issue in their lives, to start to close the loop of the pain and suffering against them and their families and to show these bastards that the game is over. We would not be where we are today without your extraordinary efforts. You give us all strength.
I would like to offer my sincerest heartfelt apology to you and all the victims of this abuse for my own inaction. I wish I had your courage…..to do what is right. If only I had reported my own abuse by Paul Lyons, maybe others could have been spared.
I am sorry.
As for you ‘pedophile bastards’ we are coming for you, we know who you are and will find you in your sleep if we have to…….start praying……god knows you need to.
WE ARE NOT KIDS ANYMORE……