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Dark day at ANU – disappears up own rectum

By johnboy - 18 March 2009 34

The world has a new contender for most incomprehensible and jargon laden sentence ever published:

    Work continues on the proposal to reconceptualise the Institute of Advanced Studies (IAS)

One would think the rest of the article might shed more light, but one would be sorely disappointed:

    Pro Vice-Chancellor (Research) Professor Mandy Thomas is heading a working party to oversee the development of the ‘New IAS’ and welcomes input from all staff into the development process. Further information on the proposal can be found at http://quicklink.anu.edu.au/ytl7 [unavailable to the public] and comments can be emailed to ias@anu.edu.au.

Bravo!

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34 Responses to
Dark day at ANU – disappears up own rectum
regularbrowse 12:58 pm 18 Mar 09

Written by an academic committee to insure minimum clarity.

Basically it means that money will be spent on new IAS logos, and then jobs will be cut.

DoogieH 12:53 pm 18 Mar 09

The IAS is the “research” part of the ANU (research schools, centres, and so on). The teaching part is “the Faculties”.

It all got shaken up a little with the move to the new “College” structure, which grouped teaching and research areas together along subject lines, hence the need for a review of the IAS structure.

anatoli 12:50 pm 18 Mar 09

For those that don’t know (apparently everyone in this thread), the Institute for Advanced Studies is the name used to collectively refer to the ANU’s various research schools (RSSS, RSPAS, RSPhysSE, etc.). It’s capitalised for a reason – it’s not jargon, that’s what they’re called when considered together.

astrojax 12:48 pm 18 Mar 09

while ‘reconceptualise’ is a tad grandiose and could be simpler, it is in context understand-able and the rest of the sentence is pretty well jargon-free, so one wonders how it might compete against some real heavyweights in the purported ‘most incomprehensible and jargon-laden sentence evah!’ category. i mean, it is harldy PoMo, now, is it??

is there an anti-anu beef here?

SheepGroper 12:38 pm 18 Mar 09

AngryHenry said :

You can’t make a pavlova out of sh*t either.

But you can put it in tins and sell it as art.

Google “Merda d’artista (1961)” I dares ya.

Furry Jesus 12:23 pm 18 Mar 09

Perhaps it’s a picture that would properly illustrate the title of this post.

I’d like to know what Advanced means too. If you do a full Google search for Institute of Advanced Studies, it appears that many other countries have universities with similar institutions. Sounds like a marketing tool to build prestige.

Is there a difference between a university student and an Advanced Student? E.g. do the latter spend less time in the uni bar, more time in the library, actually read their texts…or do they just understand the subject matter, cf their counterparts, the students enrolled at Institutes of Retarded Studies…

p1 11:54 am 18 Mar 09

Is there someone with an ANU logon who can explain what is on the other end of this link?

I also would like to know what Advanced studies are, and how there are more advanced then the studies undertaken by a top university (their opinion of themselves).

grundy 11:33 am 18 Mar 09

Danman said :

Makes perfect sense to me.

Party A wishes to realign what the institute of Advanced Studies undertakes and is preparing a proposal in order to gain their wish.

This is nothing compared to jargon currently being spewed forth by many a government agency, claiming realignment, internal synergies, convergence, shuffling, downsizing etc, when it just means that mass redundancies are around the corner.

I am aware of many government agencies currently and consistently tries to polish tur*ds by dressing them up with fancy language, but at the end of the day all it equals is that due to the current financial climate the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off for 30% of the workforce

It’s not just the Govt…

We get ‘SPAM’ from management all the time in HP that is worthy of the Awards at http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/ .

And yes, we just had the whole ‘internal synergies’ line thrown at us when the CEO announced the 5% pay cuts…

Furry Jesus 11:31 am 18 Mar 09

I thought universities were supposed to be institutions for advanced studies.

buyhercandy 11:22 am 18 Mar 09

Leaving that actual sentence alone, the main problem is that no-one at ANU actually seems to know what the Institute of Advanced Studies is or does. The staff are, for the most part, completely confused as to why it’s needed to begin with, and there’s a lot of controversy over it.

AngryHenry 11:19 am 18 Mar 09

You can’t make a pavlova out of sh*t either.

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_ 11:07 am 18 Mar 09

You can’t polish a turd.

But you CAN roll it in glitter.

frontrow 11:06 am 18 Mar 09

Will the Institute of Advanced Studies be sponsoring Awards for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence?

johnboy 11:06 am 18 Mar 09

Still no meaningful information in your translation Dan.

Danman 11:02 am 18 Mar 09

Makes perfect sense to me.

Party A wishes to realign what the institute of Advanced Studies undertakes and is preparing a proposal in order to gain their wish.

This is nothing compared to jargon currently being spewed forth by many a government agency, claiming realignment, internal synergies, convergence, shuffling, downsizing etc, when it just means that mass redundancies are around the corner.

I am aware of many government agencies currently and consistently tries to polish tur*ds by dressing them up with fancy language, but at the end of the day all it equals is that due to the current financial climate the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off for 30% of the workforce

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