The famed Belconnen Owl. Sure, it’s ‘big’, but it’s not that big. Photo: Michelle Kroll.
Imagine that as a family drives into the ACT, they pass beneath the stretched legs of a 30-metre-tall SES Band 3 public servant — the Colossus of Canberra.
We do know lots of places in Australia have a ‘big thing’. The list is extraordinary – from the Big Merino in Goulburn to a potato in Robertson, the Big Banana in Coffs Harbour, a pineapple on the Sunshine Coast, a trout in Adaminaby, a prawn in Ballina and there is a cane toad, some kangaroos, gumboots, bullocks, an easel, a cassowary, an apple, a stubbie, a tractor and … you get the idea.
What do we have in the ACT? A big owl, but it’s not really a tourist attraction or gigantic. We do have Black Mountain Tower, which once belonged to the World Federation of Great Towers but no longer qualifies for that lofty list.
There is ‘Big Swoop’, but like Black Mountain Tower, it lacks, well, bigness.
Big Swoop before it moved locations … sure it’s big(ish), but the real things can be way scarier. Photo: ACT Government.
What truly ‘big thing’ would celebrate Canberra? What are we known for? Maybe a big roundabout – but we have plenty of those already.
Besides an SES officer, perhaps we could have a High Court Judge, a politician, a big fat cat, a lobbyist, a Royal Commissioner, a parliamentary speaker, an ambassador, a spy, a huge puffer jacket, maybe a press gallery journalist or an obscenely highly paid consultant, a political scapegoat, a boffin and/or a culled kangaroo.
Gigantic statues of Walter and Marion Burley Griffin would make sense – but in their namesake lake with just their heads sticking out so it would also become a dive destination.
The generic ‘big’ human effigies could have some problems. They would need to be gender-neutral and ethnically diverse or represent all genders and groups. If that is even possible, it would take decades and many committees and reports to come up with an agreeable solution.
Still, Canberra could maybe have an avenue of biggish things as people drive into Canberra.
Northbourne Ave could become the avenue of large statues, next to the light rail, 10-metre-high replicas of all the above.
Maybe we could have a series of giant modern Colossuses straddling the Federal Highway and extending onto Northbourne? A High Court judge followed by an ambassador, a politician, a public servant – each being smaller than the one before until it reaches a point where the ‘big things’ move from the road to next to the light rail and then they keep getting smaller until we reach the smallest of them all – the now extinct ASO 1.
Or could there be just one big thing that encompasses our City-State? A ‘big thing’ with shops and museums and interactive displays that help adults remember whatever the big thing represents, while the kids enjoy the bigness.
Maybe this big thing could celebrate the regular projects and reports that waste money and become white elephants. Perhaps that’s it – a giant White Elephant! Built between the Department of Finance and the new Tax Office in Barton. Next to the future Museum of Political Scandals and Conspiracies.
But no – the perfect big thing, in its place on top of Mt Ainslie, would be a question mark – a giant five-storey high question mark for all to ponder. Perfect.
Peter Strong was a Canberra business owner and CEO of the Council of Small Business Australia (COSBOA) for 11 years. He now consults on community economics.
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