See, royals can get into some bus action. Well, Diana and Charles did, back in 1985. Perhaps Camilla would prefer a horse. Photo: Libraries ACT.
When Charles and Camilla drop by on Monday for what is more than likely to be their last trip to Canberra, it would have been nice had we been able to make it a bit special for them.
Multiple gun salutes, trumpets and really fast things zooming past each other in the sky (no, not that sort of Zooming) may just be in newsreels past, but we could have made an effort.
They’re kind enough to bestow gifts on us like road closures, grateful thanks if we’re the worthy kind, plaque-curtain-removal and official openings of things that have been well, open, for yonks, for anyone. Why not give the King what he really wants?
This visit is special in the sense that it’s his (approx but who’s counting) 957th trip to Australia, and one too many for HM with the porcelain skin – where people, thankfully, no longer yell out, “We want Diana”. We could have organised something they wanted to do rather than what his minders thought would be a good photo op.
He seems to like the water. Remember that photo of him arising from the Bondi Beach waves a couple of lifetimes ago, carpeted in women. OK, only one woman and, as it turned out, she was paid to do it, but who’s counting (I bet she was.)
Why didn’t we, on this trip, set up a wave machine in Lake Burley Griffin? It would have made such a splash. He could enjoy the water and do his other favourite thing – wave at people.
Instead of one of those big long cars, why not shout them a couple of electric scooters – hers would have an in-built parasol, of course, so that porcelain skin remains, well, porcelain. They could have scooted down the Tuggeranong Parkway and up to the Arboretum to see how all the trees they’ve planted over the years, and those of their relos, had branched out.
Apparently, when He was here with The Other One in 1985, they braved buses to get about a bit. Maybe not put him through that again, so let’s just call them an Uber when they’ve had enough of the bowing and scraping – and that’s just from the bus.
Looks like their time here has been cut back, understandably, considering He’s still not in the best of health, so why not treat them to some really good tucker whilst here? It’s probably too late for them to make a reservation anywhere too fancy, so why not go down to Brodburger for a couple with The Lot? If they go early enough, they won’t have to wait too long in the queue.
Then they could go and get some frozen custard at that place that sells it – a perfectly balanced meal if they down it with a fine local bevvie – and if there’s sprinkles on the custard.
Now, what we should not do: show them a hospital – he’s had cancer for heaven’s sake, he knows what they’re like. Mount a gun salute – regardless of how many cannons are involved, it’s just not a blast anymore. Make him meet another politician or journalist – after this week, self-explanatory. Or absolutely anything to do with his late mum – he knew her better than any of us ever could – and hardly needs reminding.
Long may He reign over us.
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