10 December 2013

Try not to commit any crimes if you can help it

| Barcham
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simon corbell

Simon Corbell today asked if Canberrans could try and behave this Summer, and not commit any crimes. Nobody has simply asked everyone to follow the law before, and I hope Simon’s bold strategy pays off. Not one to put all his eggs in one basket, Simon also informed people that there are these guys called “police” and that these police-people will punish you if you commit crimes.

You know, just in case we had forgotten what a police was.

Minister for Police and Emergency Services, Simon Corbell, today urged Canberrans to take responsibility for their safety this summer, warning that police would respond appropriately to those who engage in violent or anti-social behaviour.

Mr Corbell and Chief Police Officer for the ACT, Rudi Lammers, launched the 2013-14 ‘Safe Summer’ campaign today which encourages Canberrans to enjoy the many events over the summer period by behaving responsibly and thinking of others. The campaign focuses on alcohol and responsible drinking, the issue of party drugs, how to help yourself and others stay safe, as well as traffic and road safety messaging.

Mr Corbell said the holiday period was a busy time for everyone, with school formals and Christmas parties currently underway and upcoming events such as New Year’s Eve, Australia Day celebrations and Summernats certain to attract large crowds.

“Canberra remains one of Australia’s safest capital cities, but it’s also a busy and cosmopolitan city, with celebrations, parties and get-togethers right through the lead-up to Christmas. We would urge people not to ruin their Christmas by alcohol-related risky behaviour. It is proven that an intoxicated person becomes more vulnerable to either committing a crime, or becoming a victim of crime,” Mr Corbell said.

That last bit is my favourite.

Drunk people are at risk of committing a crime! Oh no!

“I’m so sorry everyone, I drank too much and that crime just came out of nowhere. Before I could stop I just commited straight into it. If I’d known how easy it was to accidentally commit a crime while intoxicated I would never have gone out looking for a fight while drinking.”

[Photo courtesy Simon Corbell’s office]

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I think the AFP wrote this for him. We all know the police prefer to respond inappropriately. People on the RiotACT sometimes say so, so it must be true.

I particularly love this meaningless phrase “Canberra remains one of Australia’s safest capital cities” – so it’s in the upper four rather than the lower four in terms of safeness? Because if it was the absolute safest he would have said so.


Oh damn. I wasn’t aware. Now I need some new plans for Summer.

So nice of him to ask. I’m sure the Police will have nothing to do now.

He gets the prize for being the best at stating the bleedin obvious.

Blen_Carmichael1:11 pm 09 Dec 13

That’s got to be up there with that imposing sign on the Federal Highway “Thieves beware – this Territory is covered”. Is that still there?

I ran this through Google Translation and it came up with a nil result:

“The establishment of the Regional Targeting Team (RTT) in September this year in readiness for the
busy 2013-14 summer period marks the next phase in our approach of education, engagement and
enforcement, placing more resources under the RTT and attaching a dedicated intelligence officer to
the team to provide an intelligence-led focus and targeting to their activity.”

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