Where are those good old-fashioned values on which we used to rely? Image: nurlankani.
I don’t consider myself to be old-fashioned, but there are a few key manners that I feel are crucial to fostering a sense of community.
These include greeting people you pass on walks (which I feel fewer and fewer people do), holding lift doors open for others, and ensuring you never push in when there’s a queue.
But even more important to me are the commonly known gestures of etiquette on the roads when driving. Specifically, the wave of appreciation when someone does you a good turn, and vice versa. Recently, I’ve been appalled by the complete lack of any acknowledgment from fellow drivers in situations that I feel warrant some.
For example, as I’ve written previously, my street is horrendous for people parking on both sides of the road, making it impossible for two cars to drive through at the same time. Someone has to pull over and allow the other to pass, which I’m generally happy to do. But having kept a mental tally this past fortnight, I have been shocked by how few people acknowledge me as they pass.
In fact, the vast majority of drivers have completely ignored me, even when I’ve waved at them. Equally, when I’ve let people merge off slip lanes, most people have waved, but a fair few haven’t.
Am I old fashioned in expecting some driverly camaraderie? And where do these manners originate from in the first place?
Looking back, I’m not sure where I learnt the common expectations of courtesy on the road, but I’m fairly certain my parents told me to smile/wave to other drivers where necessary, and I do it religiously. I now have a few young people in my life who are on their L’s and P’s, and have primarily learned through driving schools. Is that the culprit?
I appreciate that no one owes me a wave for letting them pass or merge, but it definitely brightens my day and makes me feel better for having done the nice thing (noting that I’m referencing occasions where I have right of way). But society is already pretty disconnected and these small gestures make me feel like there’s still some semblance of a community out there.
It feels particularly important on the roads, where we take our own, and each other’s lives into our hands every time we get behind the wheel. Acknowledging other drivers means you’re at least aware of them as human beings who are affected by your safe driving, not just faceless cars who stand between you and your destination.
Call me a fuddy-duddy, but I’ll keep waving my way through the streets in the hopes that I’ll get a response – whether it comes or not!
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