Lifeline honours incredible women turning trauma into triumph

Dr Karen Demmery stands today a formidable source of strength for the many people she serves as a specialist in trauma – something to which the proud Wiradjuri woman is no stranger.

Her father walked out when she was young and, after getting kicked out of school in year 9, she formed a drug and alcohol addiction and found her fair share of trouble with law enforcement.

Some years later, a conversation with her son changed everything.

“He looked me in the eye and said ‘Who are you and what have you done with my mother’,” she said.

“With that, I was ready to start my healing journey.”

A critical part of that journey involved academic pursuits. Karen gained qualifications and experience in training, facilitation, coaching and counselling, as well as post-graduate qualifications in trauma and recovery, health and healing, followed by a Masters in Indigenous Health and a PhD at the University of Canberra.

She did it all while caring for her severely ill husband and her injured son, who had been medically discharged from the army, and suffering the loss of several close family members.

The trauma specialist uses her experience and knowledge to help others through her business, Burbirra, which offers training and development, cultural services, business development and management consulting.

Through her charity, SpiritHive, she provides counselling, trauma workshops, coaching and education services to those at risk of suicide, self-harm and other damaging behaviours arising from mental health issues. The ultimate goal behind its women’s gatherings, where they can chat, connect and get support, is to help all women achieve economic sovereignty.

“It has been a journey, but I’m now all about helping other women find their identities and heal their trauma,” she said.

For this, she won the Lifeline Women of Spirit Award 2023 (awarded on 15 August).

Since 2006 the awards have honoured incredible women in the ACT and surrounding regions who have triumphed over adversity and gone on to make a positive contribution to their communities while inspiring others to do the same.

“I was not expecting it. I don’t do what I do for recognition, so to receive this award is such a bonus,” she said.

“It means somebody out there has seen what I have done and it’s wonderful to be seen. That visibility means other women are shown that what we do is worthy of recognition.

“So while we don’t do it for the accolades, in a way this award means everything.”

Officials from Lifeline and presenting partner Icon Water, nominees and their supporters gathered for an elegant luncheon in the National Gallery of Australia’s Gandel Hall to honour the achievements of 11 exemplary women.

Guests were treated to entertainment from Prettirinas musical duo and heard from the keynote speaker, lived experience advocate Jenny Heddle.

Lifeline Canberra CEO Carrie Leeson said the awards acknowledged incredible feats that might otherwise go unnoticed.

“Women of spirit are often hidden in our community, quietly working away and giving their time to lift up others and support vital causes,” she said.

“For this reason, each year we ask Canberrans to help us uncover women of spirit in our community so we can recognise their efforts and tell their important and inspiring stories.”

The Rising Women of Spirit Award, which recognises women who have only recently overcome adversity, yet are still achieving amazing outcomes in the community, went to
Franchesca Isla.

A young mother of two who has been the target of prolonged bullying and a victim of personal violence, Franchesca cares for her younger sister who lives with a disability, and works as a counsellor for Toora Women Inc.

Her youngest daughter has also developed late-onset hip dysplasia and is in a brace 22 hours of the day. Franchesca lives with osteopenia and recently had her thyroid removed.

Despite her trials, and managing to work and care for three children, she created the Brave program.

Housed under the Bully Zero Australia umbrella, it allows people to unpack real stories about bullying experienced in all walks of life, and the ensuing mental health consequences.

“We know bullying is not limited to the schoolyard; it happens in the adult world, in the workplace and in the home,” she said.

“I started writing fearlessly about a stronger version of myself – things I would tell a younger me. That story resonated, so now we reach out to CEOs, lawyers, politicians – people in positions of power – to ask them about their experiences and feelings about bullying.

“We ask them the same five questions, and it always concludes with a message of hope to a younger version of themselves.

“The more we talk about bullying, the better placed we are to conquer it.”

Having completed a Bachelor of Science in Psychology with a Major in Counselling, and a Master of Social Work, Franchesca works as a counsellor assisting women impacted by domestic and family violence, alcohol and drug dependency, who are reintegrating into society after spending time incarcerated.

She also founded and directs Bella’s Bakery – an employment service for people living with a disability – and facilitates programs for children at schools on topics such as healthy relationships, body autonomy, bullying education, and creative feelings. She contributes to and collaborates with multiple mental health awareness and anti-bullying organisations.

Despite all this, winning the award amid such a high calibre of nominees came as a great surprise.

“I didn’t really think I had a chance, I was just there in admiration of all the amazing women around me. I think we all go through our struggles and don’t think anything of it – we just get on with it. To be recognised feels surreal,” she said.

“I just thought of my girls while I was up on that stage – I want to be a good example for them.”