Research has found connection to be the key antidote to distress for men, who often instinctually isolate. Photo: Marios Nicolaou.
One of the leading causes of mental ill health in men – and the number one suicide risk factor for men aged 25 to 44 – is relationship breakdown.
Transform Today – Empower Your Tomorrow, a webinar hosted by The Men’s Table in partnership with law firm Parker Coles Curtis, will bring expert speakers together to share valuable insights to help men navigate this difficult life experience.
According to webinar panellist and men’s mental health specialist Michael Wilson, men need urgent help to address this issue.
“There are a lot of gendered differences in what relationships provide for men. Being the ‘protector’ or ‘provider’ are among the stereotypical notions of masculinity, but they ring true for a lot of men and can form a core aspect of a man’s identity,” he says.
“Relationship breakdown can be psychologically distressing because there can be a rupturing of that identity, and that leads to a lot of complex emotions that many men are not equipped to process.
“Men definitely feel barriers to reaching out for support from peers – it can feel like a burden, especially if you’re of an age where most of your friends are in stable relationships.”
Mr Wilson, whose PhD for national youth mental health service Orygen focuses on the psychological impacts of relationship breakdown, will set the scene for the webinar.
His research has found connection to be the key antidote to distress.
“Because The Men’s Table provides a dedicated space for connection between men who have ‘been there’, the model helps break down those gendered barriers to seeking support,” he says.
The webinar will also hear from experts from The Men’s Table and Parker Coles Curtis to demonstrate how maintaining a healthy body and mind can dramatically influence your legal outcomes and overall life trajectory following relationship breakdown or separation.
The Men’s Table ACT and NSW Regional host Michael Collins says that while relationship breakdown is a key focus of the webinar, the ideas and skills covered apply to all transitions and disruptions in life.
“We have members whose kids have left home, who are starting new jobs or are new to town, and they often don’t want to discuss these things with the regular friend circles with which they share banter,” he says.
“Navigating emotional upset for a lot of men isn’t in their skillset – a lot of men haven’t been gifted with that ability in their upbringing. Often, for men who face a traumatic event, uncertainty or legal and emotional upset, the instinct is to isolate.
“Having a group of fellows around you who aren’t even necessarily in the middle of a relationship breakdown, but who might be in the before and after stages, and who are used to sharing feelings, emotions and upsets as well as celebrating the good stuff, has been a defining feature of our groups.”
The webinar will also outline how to take a “heart-centred” approach to navigating legalities.
“Legalities can be a reality of any relationship breakdown, but they’re relatively transactional. It’s a right-wrong, win-lose type of environment that can by nature feel adversarial,” Mr Collins says.
“Parker Coles Curtis has been great in helping their clients navigate that space with support. Part of that support network is legal support, but that must be balanced with emotional support, and that’s why they collaborate with us.”
The webinar is open to everyone across the country and invites the whole community to “bring their questions and curiosity”.
The Men’s Table has 206 groups Australia-wide and 10 in the ACT, with plans to launch at least another 10 in the next 12 months. Men who are interested in joining their local table first attend an ‘Entree’ – a meet and greet where they hear about the model and figure out if it’s for them before getting the details of their next local meet-up.
Tables meet once a month over dinner to share in a way that most members have never done with other men before.
“We don’t talk footy, politics, religion, our jobs, gardening, our latest home project … we talk about how we’re travelling, the good, the bad, the things we care about,” Mr Collins says.
“The response isn’t to try and fix these problems or counsel, but to listen and witness, and that’s a powerful tonic.”
Register to attend Transform Today – Empower Your Tomorrow, which takes place on Wednesday, 21 August, at 5 pm and costs $10. To join your local Men’s Table, register to attend an ACT Entree.
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