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Tax time headache?
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By billbixby1 23 April 2009 102

I recently had a pretty bad Sausage and Egg Mcmuffin at McDonalds Braddon. I’ve attached a picture and my complaint letter.

Anyone else had dodgy food there?

    Dear Mr McDonald, Ever eaten something mouldy, past its used by date or undercooked? For the next few hours you sit and wait anxiously hoping not to vomit or have a serious case of diarrhoea. Even a slight pang in your stomach and you think the worst, salmonella? E.coli? Anthrax!?!!?  I’m in the middle of that right now. Thanks to one of your Sausage and Egg Mcmuffins. 

    This morning, I purchased a Sausage and Egg Mcmuffin from your Braddon store in Canberra. I returned to my desk took one bite, thought something was wrong, stupidly took a second bite to confirm this, spat the second bite out, opened the patty to inspect and look what I found.

    I then took the Mcmuffin back down to the store to complain. A pimply faced teen (I think in McDonald’s speak they are called “Managers”) informs me that he will “speak to the people out back” and he offered me another Mcmuffin!  No! I don’t want another undercooked salmonella factory! Do you think if I was to step on a used needle on the beach I would go back and step on it again, just in case I didn’t quite catch HIV the first time?   

    I always thought going to McDonalds was the opposite of going round my slightly senile grandma’s place for lunch. The old lady has kind of forgotten to how to use the oven so you can’t always expect your meat to be cooked right through. McDonalds on the other hand has how many stores? Cooking how many sausage patties a day? Surely your meat cooking has been perfected? How can you get this wrong? I’d bet that you cook more meat patties a day then I take steps and I can guarantee you I have never messed up a step up in my life, why? Because I do it all the time, I’ve perfected stepping. WHEN WILL YOU PERFEFT COOKING A 2MM THICK PIECE OF SAUSAGE? 

    So right now you are probably thinking “big deal, it’s just one unsatisfied customer”

    WRONG! Let’s explore the wider ramifications of the uncooked patty? Some simple math will reveal all:  Four sausage and egg mcmuffins a week X 52 weeks = 208 McMuffins @ $3.15 each, we have a grand total of $655.20 in lost revenue per year. Let’s say I live till I’m 58 (a generous estimate if I’m eating this many mcmuffins) you are going to lose over $20 000.  I know you are a very wealthy man Mr McDonald but think of how many bright yellow jumpsuits that $20 000 would have bought. And now? Well now I’m going to give my business to Subway, remember Jarred, that chub that became less of a chub by supposedly eating subway? Well I’m paying for his Liposuction this year! Let’s hope one day Mr McDonald, you learn how to cook. Regards 

    Bill Bixby

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jakez 9:45 pm 24 Apr 09

And that’s why we call OP, HERO!

…or wanker, one of the two.

It’s not the complaint letter I object to, I have sent three to McDonald’s in my life. It’s the smarmy attitude, and stupid detail.

Short and succinct will suffice.


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