This morning I had to come into work, which is unusual for me as I normally work the afternoon shifts. Coincidentally, the wife needed the car this morning, for a trip to the dentist, so that left me with the bike as my transport. Nothing I like better than a spin into work on the bike, especially at rush hour when I can take advantage of the bike to nip in and out of the traffic. However, this morning there was this strange meteorological phenomena we call “thick fog” to add to the fun and games. Ah well, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
It’s not like I’m not used to riding in fog and rain, after all I am a pommy bastard, and therefore it is quite natural to me. Can I just make a slight suggestion though?
- Mrs Middle Class.
I know you don’t like speeding, you find speed frightening, and that’s all well and good. So I accept that you prefer to drive at 10 – 15 k under the speed limit, and normally in the right hand lane. I know your mind is full of your daughter’s forthcoming wedding, and the food for the nice buffet meal that you have to plan for it, and that the recipe for your cupcakes doesn’t seem to be turning out all that well. Poor you, you’ve tried them 18 times now, and they still are a bit too flavoursome.
I know you are extraordinarily proud of your two year old Ford Average, which you bought brand new, as the nice man in the salesroom told you it got 0.02 k per litre more than the Holden Boring, and it didn’t have the slightly differently shaped wing mirrors that the Toyota Dull has (you like to not stand out too much from the pack, don’t you?)
Your car’s a lovely silver gray colour too, isn’t it? Have you noticed how well it blends in with the fog? Matches in quite perfectly Well here’s a tip; if you want it to last further than the 3 year warranty you paid extra for when you bought it, why not be daring and SWITCH YOUR BLOODY LIGHTS ON?
It may save you wondering why all the other drivers are flashing their lights at you and making those exceedingly rude gestures.
Just a thought.
(Having said that I saw one getting beautifully rear-ended on Hindmarsh this morning.)
[ED – Photograph taken by Smee at the corner of Sulwood and Athllon Drives this morning]