Internet dating in Canberra?

I met my partner on a dating site, and we are getting married next Feb.

I have used RSVP and Ok Cupid.

There are plenty of weirdos…But also plently of lovely men/women, I’ve made form great friends from these sites too…. You just need to be careful.

If you have a pic, You’ll get all types of messages, just be aware of that… some people are very very.. forward??

Sounds like Doc Dogg has been working on his “game”. Sounds scarily similar to the D.E.N.N.I.S. system from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”:

The D.E.N.N.I.S. system is revealed to be an acronym:

Demonstrate value
Engage physically
Nurture dependence
Neglect emotionally
Inspire hope
Separate entirely

Later we learn the M.A.C. system, the acronym:

Move in
After
Completion

And finally Frank’s system, SCRAPS!, which is not an acronym.
Frank’s system consists of flashing a wad of $100 bills and a magnum condom, to show you have money and a monster dong.

I saw a great T-shirt that you single lads should wear when meeting a lady, as it sends a clear message that your are available and approachable. It simply says “I F*** ON THE FIRST DATE”.

Doc Dogg said :

AdventureTime said :

It would be nice to have all the spare time that ‘Demosthenes’ (what a pretentious user name!) obviously has to join community groups, but for those of us who have unpredictable work schedules, meeting people over the internet sure beats not meeting anyone at all!

It just comes down to how you prioritise your life. If you find it too hard to schedule one or two hours per week to a class or community group, how are you going to find the time to actually date someone. Even when I was internet dating I was putting in a few hours each night sending emails and organising dates for the weekend. Not to mention the hours I put into reading and watching material on how to improve my “game”.

I’d also like to reiterate what others have said and never have a first or second date that involves food. I used to follow the following formula:

Date 1: Organise to meet up just after lunch somewhere like a museum or gallery (free parking, toilets, open gardens) and go for a short walk somewhere picturesque and maybe sit down under a tree and get to know each other. After 40 mins you should know if they are crazy or not. As soon as an hour has passed, thank them for a nice time and walk them to the original meeting place and leave. If it didn’t go well let them know, if it did go well say you will contact them and organise date two.

Date 2: Same as date 1 but maybe grab an ice cream or a coffee and extend the date for 2 hours. Kiss them when finishing the date.

Date 3: Invite them around to your place and cook dinner (or have them cook dinner for you), listen to some music, play a board game and get to know them. I usually threw some pillows on the lounge floor in front of the fire and sat and talked. Initiate some hand holding or physical touch of some time. Tell them you are going to keep it strictly PG that night and follow through.

Date 4: Same as date 3 but the PG stuff goes out the window. By this stage you will have spent 8 hours with them and know them well enough to get some sheet action. I used to take them home after the date was over but letting them spend the night is OK if it was mind blowing and you want some morning action.

Date 5: Go and do something fun and enjoy your relationship…or sleep with them and dump them.

I was starting to feel some what OK about the whole thing until I read this..

AdventureTime said :

It would be nice to have all the spare time that ‘Demosthenes’ (what a pretentious user name!) obviously has to join community groups, but for those of us who have unpredictable work schedules, meeting people over the internet sure beats not meeting anyone at all!

It just comes down to how you prioritise your life. If you find it too hard to schedule one or two hours per week to a class or community group, how are you going to find the time to actually date someone. Even when I was internet dating I was putting in a few hours each night sending emails and organising dates for the weekend. Not to mention the hours I put into reading and watching material on how to improve my “game”.

I’d also like to reiterate what others have said and never have a first or second date that involves food. I used to follow the following formula:

Date 1: Organise to meet up just after lunch somewhere like a museum or gallery (free parking, toilets, open gardens) and go for a short walk somewhere picturesque and maybe sit down under a tree and get to know each other. After 40 mins you should know if they are crazy or not. As soon as an hour has passed, thank them for a nice time and walk them to the original meeting place and leave. If it didn’t go well let them know, if it did go well say you will contact them and organise date two.

Date 2: Same as date 1 but maybe grab an ice cream or a coffee and extend the date for 2 hours. Kiss them when finishing the date.

Date 3: Invite them around to your place and cook dinner (or have them cook dinner for you), listen to some music, play a board game and get to know them. I usually threw some pillows on the lounge floor in front of the fire and sat and talked. Initiate some hand holding or physical touch of some time. Tell them you are going to keep it strictly PG that night and follow through.

Date 4: Same as date 3 but the PG stuff goes out the window. By this stage you will have spent 8 hours with them and know them well enough to get some sheet action. I used to take them home after the date was over but letting them spend the night is OK if it was mind blowing and you want some morning action.

Date 5: Go and do something fun and enjoy your relationship…or sleep with them and dump them.

Jethro said :

I read somewhere that ‘online’ is the number one place American newly-weds met, so online dating is obviously working for lots of people.

The divorce rate in the US in 10% higher than here. (according to wiki)

One last tip for Jenny if I may. Forgot to mention it in my other post. NEVER communicate with a profile on the dating sites that don’t have photo’s. There is a reason they might not display a photo!

I read somewhere that ‘online’ is the number one place American newly-weds met, so online dating is obviously working for lots of people. One of my close friends met her husband online and they are a great couple.

I also agree that it is really hard to meet people these days. Twenty of thirty years ago, people often met through their church or dated someone in their local neighbourhood. This type of thing is less common these days and once you leave school/uni your avenus for meeting someone narrow significantly. I think this is particularly true in Canberra, which can seem quite clique-ish and unwelcoming. If you aren’t from here and you don’t come here as a grad it can be really hard to form a social network.

That being said, I do think Demosthenes has a point. There are plenty of opportunities to meet people through things like social sports, and groups and clubs. I’m definitely not agreeing with him/her on the whole ‘internet dating is for chumps and crazies’ thing, but if I were in the market/looking I would be trying a few different options, and joining social clubs, etc would be one of them. I would say about a third of the people I am good friends with down here I met through social groups and clubs, etc.

Think about what you are interested in and find out where/when other people who like the same thing meet.

p1 said :

Any suggestions for dance classes for people in the 50ish age group? Mrs P1 is trying to (gently) get her mum back out there, and things this might be the way to do it…

Assuming you mean dance styles likely to include others in her age group, I’d suggest ballroom, Argentine tango, or rock n roll off the top of my head. Ballroom and tango because they attract a whole range of ages; I haven’t done rock n roll but have met people around her age who do it.

If she finds a style she enjoys, keep in mind it’s not just the class that offers a chance to socialise. Most partner dance styles will have a social scene attached, with regular social dances organised by dance schools or social clubs (e.g. ACT Rock and Roll Club, Tango Social Club).

Deckard said :

Well it looks like it’s better to stick to internet dating than try community groups if they’re full of stuck up genaralising w@nkers! who think they’re better than others.

Seems to be the way. Quite possibly some of the people posting here have been the focus of assorted community and charity groups, and have got confused.

“Well it looks like it’s better to stick to internet dating than try community groups if they’re full of stuck up genaralising w@nkers! who think they’re better than others.”

Ha ha, couldn’t have said it better myself! It would be nice to have all the spare time that ‘Demosthenes’ (what a pretentious user name!) obviously has to join community groups, but for those of us who have unpredictable work schedules, meeting people over the internet sure beats not meeting anyone at all!

I met my wife via RSVP. We now have a 2 year old, another on the way, and we’re very happy.

And really – the whole online dating thing is just the first step. From some of the comments on here, you’d think that after meeting online, you also live online together, and the rest of your relationship will be defined by the method you used to find each other. Rubbish. Our lives are no different for having met online, than if we’d been introduced by friends, met through a social group, hooked up in a bar, met at work, or any other way that people find each other.

Demosthenes said :

matt31221 said :

Ah ha ha! Higher calibre of person indeed – what if the person is forced to engage in the ‘voluntary activity’ due to court order?

Um, I don’t know what community groups you have in mind, but have yet to see anyone compelled to be involved in any of the groups I’ve been involved in – from Oxfam, to church groups (I’m not religious but some are actually pretty good), to political parties, sports groups, you name it. All voluntary.

Inappropriate said :

Your best bet is to steer clear of dedicated dating sites: they tend to be full of social misfits, players, married people looking to supplement, and normal people jaded and fed up with the Internet dating scene.

You’re better off joining interest groups, making friends and simply networking.

Couldn’t have said it better myself. It’s sad that political and community groups struggle for membership yet RSVP can afford prime time TV advertising worth a fortune. One of their advertisements would eclipse any chapter budget of any organisation I have ever been involved in, but all the best friends I’ve made have been through them. And it’s a field in these groups – if I wasn’t married I soon would be. There’s some gorgeous single energetic intelligent people in all the groups I get involved with.

Internet dating sites are full of people with social hang-ups or who are just too lazy to go out and get a real life.

DUB said :

First of all, if you are size 6-10, then you’ll have no problem finding people to socialize with.:-) It is pleasing to an eye.
Internet dating is for insecure about themselves/social loners.And yes, I have heard many times that photos on such sites lie at least 90% of the time.
Come party with me- do you like drum n bass?

Looks are important no matter what anyone says. A persons appearance can be indicative of their lifestyle. Some lifestyles you don’t want in your life. That’s for sure.

AdventureTime said :

Some of the comments on this post demonstrate that internet dating is still taboo for many people. Personally I think it’s a perfectly legitimate way of meeting people, so long as you are realistic about the process.

Of course it’s legitimate and legal. So’s being an alcoholic. Doesn’t make it right.

It’s taboo for a reason. It devalues human relationships to a basic commodity to be traded and measured.

Just go make some friends and like I said, if you are still single by choice within a year, I’ll buy you a slab of beer. It’s physically impossible.

As for comments there are no ‘opportunities’ in Canberra, rubbish. One group I am involved in is packed full of young professionals, many clearly there to actually find someone, as well as have some fun.

It’s impossible to remain single by choice if you lead an active life.

Well it looks like it’s better to stick to internet dating than try community groups if they’re full of stuck up genaralising w@nkers! who think they’re better than others.

matt31221 said :

Ah ha ha! Higher calibre of person indeed – what if the person is forced to engage in the ‘voluntary activity’ due to court order?

Um, I don’t know what community groups you have in mind, but have yet to see anyone compelled to be involved in any of the groups I’ve been involved in – from Oxfam, to church groups (I’m not religious but some are actually pretty good), to political parties, sports groups, you name it. All voluntary.

Inappropriate said :

Your best bet is to steer clear of dedicated dating sites: they tend to be full of social misfits, players, married people looking to supplement, and normal people jaded and fed up with the Internet dating scene.

You’re better off joining interest groups, making friends and simply networking.

Couldn’t have said it better myself. It’s sad that political and community groups struggle for membership yet RSVP can afford prime time TV advertising worth a fortune. One of their advertisements would eclipse any chapter budget of any organisation I have ever been involved in, but all the best friends I’ve made have been through them. And it’s a field in these groups – if I wasn’t married I soon would be. There’s some gorgeous single energetic intelligent people in all the groups I get involved with.

Internet dating sites are full of people with social hang-ups or who are just too lazy to go out and get a real life.

DUB said :

First of all, if you are size 6-10, then you’ll have no problem finding people to socialize with.:-) It is pleasing to an eye.
Internet dating is for insecure about themselves/social loners.And yes, I have heard many times that photos on such sites lie at least 90% of the time.
Come party with me- do you like drum n bass?

Looks are important no matter what anyone says. A persons appearance can be indicative of their lifestyle. Some lifestyles you don’t want in your life. That’s for sure.

AdventureTime said :

Some of the comments on this post demonstrate that internet dating is still taboo for many people. Personally I think it’s a perfectly legitimate way of meeting people, so long as you are realistic about the process.

Of course it’s legitimate and legal. So’s being an alcoholic. Doesn’t make it right.

It’s taboo for a reason. It devalues human relationships to a basic commodity to be traded and measured.

Just go make some friends and like I said, if you are still single by choice within a year, I’ll buy you a slab of beer. It’s physically impossible.

As for comments there are no ‘opportunities’ in Canberra, rubbish. One group I am involved in is packed full of young professionals, many clearly there to actually find someone, as well as have some fun.

It’s impossible to remain single by choice if you lead an active life.

DUB said :

First of all, if you are size 6-10, then you’ll have no problem finding people to socialize with.:-) It is pleasing to an eye.
Internet dating is for insecure about themselves/social loners.And yes, I have heard many times that photos on such sites lie at least 90% of the time.
Come party with me- do you like drum n bass?

Nonsense! I know a woman who is quite fat, a very successful career woman in the States (Australian) and she met her high-powered US Govt economist husband online. Three years on they are living comfortably in Geneva, married and having their first baby next week. Internet dating is quite normal among high-powered career folk.

First of all, if you are size 6-10, then you’ll have no problem finding people to socialize with.:-) It is pleasing to an eye.
Internet dating is for insecure about themselves/social loners.And yes, I have heard many times that photos on such sites lie at least 90% of the time.
Come party with me- do you like drum n bass?

mr_wowtrousers said :

So where do all the geek and nerd girls hang out in Canberra? Anyone up for some Euro games or RPG’ing? Serious question.

Those speed dating evenings sound about as much fun as stapling your scrotum to an automatic door. Without some kind of ‘forced’ interaction (eg, switch tables ever 5 minutes etc), it basically sounds like you have paid to go to a pub that doesn’t have food and has less alcohol, friends and music and has the standard “Three girls in a huddle giving off the don’t bother me vibe”. Sounds delightful!

WOW? Steam? Internet cafes? Uni?

Also, that singles meetup group looks wonderful…..unless you’re under 21..sight.

Doc Dogg said :

The dance classes were where it was at for me, high quality girls with decent jobs and a built in social event at the end. Met some really nice girls and learned how to shake my thing in the process. Out of the class of 14, 2 couples are now married and 3 couples are in LTR’s. If you go this route, pick a dance style like jive or rock and roll as it will attract the most normal people. Avoid ballet, jazz, hip hop and contemporary interpretive dance as that will attract the hardcore dancers and they are no fun. Also give latin dancing a miss, too many people use it as a pickup class and the quality suffers. It goes without saying that any dancing with a geometrical shape in the name (line, square, etc) should be avoided.

Any suggestions for dance classes for people in the 50ish age group? Mrs P1 is trying to (gently) get her mum back out there, and things this might be the way to do it…

I agree that Meetup is a great way to meet people in a safe, friendly atmosphere and possibly check out the local talent! There are all sorts of groups, I have made some lovely friends through Meetup and also met a couple of slightly weird people in the mix. See:

http://www.meetup.com/find/?keywords=&mcId=&mcName=&lat=&lon=&userFreeform=canberra&gcResults=Canberra+ACT%2C+Australia%3AAU%3AACT%3Anull%3ACanberra%3Anull%3Anull%3A-35.34993%3A149.041595&op=search

So where do all the geek and nerd girls hang out in Canberra? Anyone up for some Euro games or RPG’ing? Serious question.

Those speed dating evenings sound about as much fun as stapling your scrotum to an automatic door. Without some kind of ‘forced’ interaction (eg, switch tables ever 5 minutes etc), it basically sounds like you have paid to go to a pub that doesn’t have food and has less alcohol, friends and music and has the standard “Three girls in a huddle giving off the don’t bother me vibe”. Sounds delightful!

I met my current beau here:
http://www.meetup.com/Canberra-Singles-Meetup-Group/

Some of the comments on this post demonstrate that internet dating is still taboo for many people. Personally I think it’s a perfectly legitimate way of meeting people, so long as you are realistic about the process. Not everyone has the time to commit to a dance class or community group that meets at the same time every week. I met my partner of 5-years through RSVP. We are both social people, but were working long and unpredictable hours and were looking for a way to meet people outside the confines of a standard 9-5 working week. I had fairly specific criteria e.g. must have a degree, have similar ideals, be of similar age, must not have two heads etc….

It worked for us, but there are plenty of bad stories out there. I think the advice that other people have given is very sensible. Meet in a public place, meet for coffee rather than dinner, and never meet anyone who hasn’t posted a photo of themselves (as deceptive as these may be!). Oh, and don’t have sex on the first (or second, or third) date – that will help filter out the men who are only after one thing! If you are sensible about your approach to internet dating and it doesn’t work out, you haven’t really lost anything and you may end up with some interesting stories to tell! Good luck!

Lolz at socially retarded… Lolzzz… But yes, Canberra is a backwater where there’s no singles.

jenny123 said :

There always has to be an ass who gets up on there soapbox

You would like to think you are not too socially retarded and then you go and backhand some genuinly good advice like that, go figure.

Your best bet is to steer clear of dedicated dating sites: they tend to be full of social misfits, players, married people looking to supplement, and normal people jaded and fed up with the Internet dating scene.

You’re better off joining interest groups, making friends and simply networking.

If you’re keen on Internet dating though, then I think Facebook apps like Zoosk etc have greater numbers than the dedicated sites.

Demosthenes said :

All the highest quality friends and networks in my life have come not through work, but through community involvement.

It’s also a nice form of Darwinian selection – only the motivated voluntarily engage in voluntary activities, so you are mixing with a higher calibre of people straight off the bat. They don’t *have* to be there unlike work, or family, and requires more motivation and interesting personality than a pub, club or p..s up.

Ah ha ha! Higher calibre of person indeed – what if the person is forced to engage in the ‘voluntary activity’ due to court order?

Internet dating is a way to start a relationship if you are isolated from the right social groups for whatever reason. I met my wife on RSVP.com. It can be alot of work but if your willing to put in the hard work and find the right dude you’ll get him. Be aware also that some of the guys on the sites (and gals in some cases) just want sex without a relasionship even if they tell you otherwise. Like a good mate of mine – his love of his live, his wife left him for some dickhe*d and it hurt him real bad. So he meets women on the sites and sleeps with them and dumps them before they become defacto. This has been going on for years. Be aware and you’ll be sweet!

Doc Dogg said :

The dance classes were where it was at for me, high quality girls with decent jobs and a built in social event at the end. Met some really nice girls and learned how to shake my thing in the process. Out of the class of 14, 2 couples are now married and 3 couples are in LTR’s.

So much for me getting on my soap box, this proves what I am trying to say.

Get out and socialise! The Internet is for news and fun, not for dating!!

Best chance to meet a partner? Interest groups. And that encompasses a lot of possibles!

If you’re into alcohol bars music etc, join a bar group.

But, if your interests run more with activities, then try joining any or many of a wide range of local clubs, be they walking, riding or bushwalking, dancing, crafts, arts, special interests, hobbies, team sports, etc.

From the like-minded people you meet, there’s a far better chance that you will meet or be introduced to someone with whom you will have enough in common to form a quality relationship. (IMHO)

However, nothing ventured nothing gained, can’t hurt to whack a profile up on RSVP or similar, and see what turns up. But IMHO the statistics of internet meetings are almost certainly similar to the real world, where you probably meet well over a hundred ‘compatible’ people before one takes your fancy. Also, just as in social situations, if you find you aren’t immediately attracted to something about your date, there’s almost no chance that you can learn to ‘want’ them, best just to move on.

I-filed said :

Huh? Those women are very pretty – what’s wrong with their size? Very nasty link.

I agree, they would all scrub up alright. Some of the supposed fatties were not fat at all.

When I was single I used a combination of internet dating, going to social type events (basically booze cruises and racing days) and classes where it is normal to interact with each other and have a quiet drink afterwards to chat (dance classes, drama classes, etc).

Internet dating netted me the most dates and I’d say 30% of the girls I met were keepers. 20% would have had a major flaw (mental or hygiene issues, still in love with their ex, crazy family who hated me) and the rest were nice girls but not for me. I was surprised at the number of girls who were looking for a well off guy to support them so they could quit there crappy retail jobs and be a house wife.

The boozy events ended up in a few good hookups but nothing long term. Might have been the girls I was getting, but they were more interested in getting wasted than having relationships.

The dance classes were where it was at for me, high quality girls with decent jobs and a built in social event at the end. Met some really nice girls and learned how to shake my thing in the process. Out of the class of 14, 2 couples are now married and 3 couples are in LTR’s. If you go this route, pick a dance style like jive or rock and roll as it will attract the most normal people. Avoid ballet, jazz, hip hop and contemporary interpretive dance as that will attract the hardcore dancers and they are no fun. Also give latin dancing a miss, too many people use it as a pickup class and the quality suffers. It goes without saying that any dancing with a geometrical shape in the name (line, square, etc) should be avoided.

jenny123 said :

There always has to be an ass who gets up on there soapbox

His name is Demosthenes, what else would you expect?

As to online dating I have personally tried Okcupid and without having exacting standards (if Idid I would limit myself to about 3 profiles) I sent legible and polite messages to a lot of people, without any reference to any kind of proposition (perhaps that was my problem) and I only managed to actually meet 1 person.

The main problem with a lot of these sites is as gospeedygo said, that they are virtually empty for Canberra, and a lot of speed-dating events I hear about seem to be aimed at on older market (perhaps they think young people are already falling over each other in the clubs). As much as I hate to agree with Demosthenes I think real life is your best option for Canberra.

I also support poisonivy’s suggestion, riotact online dating: for the cynical and high-horse riding crowd, Jersey Shore look-alikes need not apply.

Online dating?

The odds are good but the goods are odd.

I had a brief foray into the realm of internet dating websites a while back and was pretty quickly turned off by the fact that most of the profile pics seemed to fall in the category of duckface or extremely drunk.

My theory is you can have more interesting conversations and form more meaningful relationships with something like a cat or a football with googly eyes stuck on it than with people like this.

OzChick said :

Mothy said :

* Photos can lie.

They certainly do.

http://www.officialdatingresource.com/beware-the-dreaded-myspace-angles-pics/

Huh? Those women are very pretty – what’s wrong with their size? Very nasty link.

Perhaps you can join some online social groups? They have regular social meets.

http://meeting-new-people.meetup.com/cities/au/canberra/

OzChick said :

Mothy said :

* Photos can lie.

They certainly do.

http://www.officialdatingresource.com/beware-the-dreaded-myspace-angles-pics/

I am admittedly guilty of making this mistake……..twice ;-;

Demosthenes said :

I really struggle with this question. In an era where practically every community and political organisation struggles for membership, someone declares that is is ‘difficult’ to meet people. I really don’t know how to respond to this. Every person I have ever met who feels this way seems to have little interest, in, well, meeting people. Um, sort of obvious causal effect isn’t it? Try joining some groups for purely social, networking or interest reasons. You will not only enrich your life and your community, you will overnight expand your social horizons beyond your wildest dreams. In a city of 330,000 largely educated, ambitious and young people, anyone who is struggling to meet people, probably just doesn’t like meeting people.

Pubs and clubs, well, enough said on that option.

Just try for a few months, turn off the telly, get off the couch, and go get active in the community. If you are still single within a 6 months to a year, not out of choice, I’ll personally buy you a slab of beer.

All the highest quality friends and networks in my life have come not through work, but through community involvement.

It’s also a nice form of Darwinian selection – only the motivated voluntarily engage in voluntary activities, so you are mixing with a higher calibre of people straight off the bat. They don’t *have* to be there unlike work, or family, and requires more motivation and interesting personality than a pub, club or p..s up.

And from my experience, motivated people are generally more healthy and attractive too. Give it a try!

Demosthenes said :

I really struggle with this question. In an era where practically every community and political organisation struggles for membership, someone declares that is is ‘difficult’ to meet people. I really don’t know how to respond to this. Every person I have ever met who feels this way seems to have little interest, in, well, meeting people. Um, sort of obvious causal effect isn’t it? Try joining some groups for purely social, networking or interest reasons. You will not only enrich your life and your community, you will overnight expand your social horizons beyond your wildest dreams. In a city of 330,000 largely educated, ambitious and young people, anyone who is struggling to meet people, probably just doesn’t like meeting people.

Pubs and clubs, well, enough said on that option.

Just try for a few months, turn off the telly, get off the couch, and go get active in the community. If you are still single within a 6 months to a year, not out of choice, I’ll personally buy you a slab of beer.

All the highest quality friends and networks in my life have come not through work, but through community involvement.

It’s also a nice form of Darwinian selection – only the motivated voluntarily engage in voluntary activities, so you are mixing with a higher calibre of people straight off the bat. They don’t *have* to be there unlike work, or family, and requires more motivation and interesting personality than a pub, club or p..s up.

And from my experience, motivated people are generally more healthy and attractive too. Give it a try!

There always has to be an ass who gets up on there soapbox

Mothy said :

* Photos can lie.

They certainly do.

http://www.officialdatingresource.com/beware-the-dreaded-myspace-angles-pics/

I really struggle with this question. In an era where practically every community and political organisation struggles for membership, someone declares that is is ‘difficult’ to meet people. I really don’t know how to respond to this. Every person I have ever met who feels this way seems to have little interest, in, well, meeting people. Um, sort of obvious causal effect isn’t it? Try joining some groups for purely social, networking or interest reasons. You will not only enrich your life and your community, you will overnight expand your social horizons beyond your wildest dreams. In a city of 330,000 largely educated, ambitious and young people, anyone who is struggling to meet people, probably just doesn’t like meeting people.

Pubs and clubs, well, enough said on that option.

Just try for a few months, turn off the telly, get off the couch, and go get active in the community. If you are still single within a 6 months to a year, not out of choice, I’ll personally buy you a slab of beer.

All the highest quality friends and networks in my life have come not through work, but through community involvement.

It’s also a nice form of Darwinian selection – only the motivated voluntarily engage in voluntary activities, so you are mixing with a higher calibre of people straight off the bat. They don’t *have* to be there unlike work, or family, and requires more motivation and interesting personality than a pub, club or p..s up.

And from my experience, motivated people are generally more healthy and attractive too. Give it a try!

My wife and I met through RSVP a few years back Our advice;

* To answer your question – any good or full of wierdos – Both.

* Even horrible first dates turn to comedy in time.

* As a female, you don’t need stamps. Some norms still exist even online. As Poisonivy says, you will attract all manner of chancers.

* Rule of thumb for any internet dating – the guys that don’t share a photo tend to be married.

* Don’t use a photo of you where you are a bridesmaid.

* Photos can lie.

* Meet in public places.

* Its easier to hit the eject button on a bad coffee date than a bad dinner date where only the first course has been seved.

* As with everything, trial and error, trial and error.

I used RSVP and it was worthwhile – assuming you’re female, don’t bother with signing up for the stamps. Or do. But you probably don’t need to. The issue with RSVP is you need to be active all the time.
A friend and I recently went to a Single in the City party hosted by Fast Impressions which is affiliated with RSVP. She had a much better time than me. Bit of a plug – her review is http://inthetaratory.wordpress.com/2011/08/30/fast-impressions-single-in-the-city-party-t2-review/

+1 for OKCupid as a user-friendly place, although it too comes with the usual chancers out for a bit of cyber-titillation. The user essays are a fascinating glimpse into (part of) the human condition too. Great for exchanging banter with ‘perfect matches’ across the Pacific, HOWEVER, Canberra users are few and OKC don’t advertise. Perhaps we can lead a RiotACT-led recovery and deliver love to the loveless in our town?

My only other experience is with Oasis which, although full of bogans, is the only site that, for me, has led to face-to-face meetings. I think the rudimentary interface quickly forces people offline and into the real world, whereas with OKC you can be cocooned in a cosy chat space for longer.

And while you are looking for love online, do some work to build your friendship networks (joining interest groups, classes etc) – chances are they will be the ones that deliver a love interest that you have something in common with. And if not, at least they will be there to support you when your next relationship goes tits up.

Tune into your community – there’s heaps going on that can throw up opportunities for interesting connections. Stay positive!

I can only offer a male perspective on this. (I assume from your user name that you are female)

I haven’t tried any of the sites you have to pay for but in my experience of the common free sites:

OKcupid: Best designed and user friendly site in my opinion. I’ve found the user base to contain more of your more alternative and creative types but that is just me.

Plenty of Fish: Don’t. Seriously. It’s really not worth the time. Complete abortion of a website where dreams go to die. You’ll encounter more spelling mistakes, mirror poses and shirtless pics than is fit for human consumption. Not worth signing up.

Oasis Active: Better than POF, worse than Okcupid. It’s worth a shot I’d say.

Also from the stories others have told me, as a female be prepared to be bluntly propositioned for every weird and wonderful act under the sun by old and young.

In conclusion as a young male in the depressing and confounding world of internet dating in Canberra, I found all the interesting people I’d consider meeting far out of state and even over seas and the ACT is a baron tundra. You mileage will definitely vary as I suspect this is due to my demographic.

Good luck!

While its not a shortcut to what you want, there are a myriad of chatrooms on the internet where you can meet new people. If youre really after a lasting relationship (rather than becoming single again), Id be steering away from ‘dating’ / ‘pickup’ sites.

Then again, if you want a shortcut, I hear craigslist now exists in Canberra.

I tried R$VP.com.au, I am on okcupid.com now, which is free so it is cool.

I think the RSVP website hosts some events around Canberra for speed dating everyonce in a while, actually turns out there is something on tonight:

http://www.rsvp.com.au/content/event/act/fast+flirty+speed/35788.jsp

Good luck.