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Internet dating in Canberra?

By jenny123 17 September 2011 55

I have recently become single and finding it rather difficult to meet new people especially since I moved here for work. I am not into the whole clubbing/bar scene, so this makes it even harder.

I am curious about Internet dating in Canberra and was wondering if anyone had tried it –  is it any good or just full of weirdos?

I am 25 so I am looking for people around that age group.

If you have any suggestions on where I can meet some new people that would also  be great.

*I would like to think I am not too socially retarded,  I am just finding Canberra is a somewhat difficult place to meet people.

What’s Your opinion?


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Internet dating in Canberra?
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bec452 9:36 pm 21 Sep 11

There always has to be an ass who gets up on there soapbox

Haha…..gold!!!! There’s always one….

Canberra is one the hardest places to meet people & I’m not just talking about the dating scene but just people you want to be friends with. I am fortunate enough to have made some good friends here (through previous employment) but can definitely understand why people find it hard to meet friends in this fair city we call Canberra.

Canberrans operate in cliques. If your not in one then be prepared to be lonely until you get yourself into one. I find the most open minded people are those that are not actually from Canberra and have moved here for some reason.

A friend of mine (who was originally from Cairns) went to King’omalleys alone the first weekend she arrived in Canberra thinking that she would just start chatting with people. She found out quite quickly that you don’t meet new people at a Canberra pub (like you do elsewhere) and that it can be quite hostile. We laugh about it now and put it down to just plain ‘culture shock’.

fabforty 5:43 pm 19 Sep 11

I know a few couples who have met online and had great, long lasting relationships. In the end, it is only a means to arrange first meetings. What happens after that is pretty much the same scenario as if you met at a bar, your friend’s flatmates BBQ or Clean up Australia Day. Meeting new people is always risky.

I also recommend the Canberra Meet-up Groups. The singles one and the ladies one would, I think, suit your age group.

Innovation 4:25 pm 19 Sep 11

#49 Angelina – I thought that the second and subsequent dates were in case you met his nice brother or friend for you to go on a “first date” with.

#52 Angelina – I think you revealed your marital status and practices too soon. I hear there was a spike in RSVP memberships today and a lot of new members looking for Easy Angelina.

Angelina 3:10 pm 19 Sep 11

Mmm, because I was being completely serious too. Geez, Trollsniffer, don’t get your knickers in a twist!

I suppose I’m not an expert though since the only person I’ve had sex with in the last 8 years is my husband. Though I can tell you he didn’t have an issue with sex on the first date.

Also, since I would of course charge a fee for these lessons I could hardly consider it charity work.

troll-sniffer 2:09 pm 19 Sep 11

Angelina said :

Why the negativity about first-date sex? No point going on a second, third or fourth date if they’re a nice person who’s crap in bed.

Don’t you relish a challenge? If you’re so worldly and perfect you should make it your mission to pass on your brilliance in the sack with a series of lessons. Consider your charity work for the year.

Perhaps you don’t have the talent you assume you have and it’s your lack of talent that comes out in the sack, more than the other person’s.

Doc Dogg 1:00 pm 19 Sep 11

jenny123 said :

I was starting to feel some what OK about the whole thing until I read this..

Why? I just gave you a blueprint on how to get to know someone you meet on the internet in 5 dates with multiple exit points and built in ability to screen out people who are just interested in getting a leg over. Plus it removes the awkwardness of who pays for what that the traditional dinner and movie date has.

Don’t let the structured nature of it put you off, sure it came from studying literature on relationship theory and the psychology of sex, but that is why it works so well. It is designed to be low risk and easy.

milkman said :

I guess that’s when you need to weigh up the benefits of a BJ versus having to drive a chick home for half an hour when she believes you owe her one…

C’mon man, that’s what taxis are for!

You Canberrans…1/2 hour of driving for a BJ is nothing. I’ve driven 3 hours return to see a cute nursing student in my younger days.

Angelina 12:58 pm 19 Sep 11

Why the negativity about first-date sex? No point going on a second, third or fourth date if they’re a nice person who’s crap in bed.

YetAnotherBlowIn 12:04 pm 19 Sep 11

mr_wowtrousers said :

So where do all the geek and nerd girls hang out in Canberra? Anyone up for some Euro games or RPG’ing? Serious question.

For Euro board games there’s a group that meets three times a month at various locations http://boardgamegeek.com/guild/62
For minitaures/wargames (Games Workshop) the Canberra Games Society meets every Thursday at the Deakin Bridge Club

milkman 11:38 am 19 Sep 11

DUB said :

milkman said :

I saw a great T-shirt that you single lads should wear when meeting a lady, as it sends a clear message that your are available and approachable. It simply says “I F*** ON THE FIRST DATE”.

True story- few yrs back a girl once said to me, getting all comfortable- “I don’t f*** on the first date, but can give a bj”.Did I complain? 😉 No…..
But it came , as turned out later, at the price-I had to drive her from Manuka all the way to Dunlop-she lived in one of three first ever occupied houses there. 🙂

I guess that’s when you need to weigh up the benefits of a BJ versus having to drive a chick home for half an hour when she believes you owe her one…

C’mon man, that’s what taxis are for!

DUB 11:11 am 19 Sep 11

milkman said :

I saw a great T-shirt that you single lads should wear when meeting a lady, as it sends a clear message that your are available and approachable. It simply says “I F*** ON THE FIRST DATE”.

True story- few yrs back a girl once said to me, getting all comfortable- “I don’t f*** on the first date, but can give a bj”.Did I complain? 😉 No…..
But it came , as turned out later, at the price-I had to drive her from Manuka all the way to Dunlop-she lived in one of three first ever occupied houses there. 🙂

Buzz2600 9:06 am 19 Sep 11

Demonsthenes said: “Just go make some friends and like I said, if you are still single by choice within a year, I’ll buy you a slab of beer. It’s physically impossible.”

Jenny, I find this type of comment really annoying. For many people, “just make some friends” is not the same as “find a genuine, long-term partner”. I’m surprised by the conservative reaction and negative views of online dating here. Sure, its not for everyone but I do think its an valid option for anyone who its looking for a partner.

For myself, I returned to Canberra after being overseas for quite a few years. I still had my trusty friends to rely on for lunches, dinner, movies but most were either committed singles or committed married women. I’d describe myself as a reasonably good looking, friendly person but I am a bit shy in certain situations and I’m definitely not a nightclub scene person. Maybe I have a problem but I don’t think I’m the only person in the world who doesn’t like going along to voluntary organisations or nightclubs and bars alone.

After a year of wondering, I signed up to RSVP. I put up a photo which was a genuine resemblence (not some photoshopped goddess). I “chatted” to a number of blokes, vetted very carefully and ended up going out with a few different guys. After about four or five months, I met my partner on RSVP and we’ve now been living together for three years YAY!

So, it worked for me. I say, trust your instincts, vet carefully, meet in public places (don’t go to bed with them on the first date) and you’ll quickly sort the chaff from the wheat. I didn’t have high expectations … I just treated it as a bit of fun and an opportunity to meet new people. I hope it works for you. Good luck!

Shanski_0 8:36 am 19 Sep 11

I met my partner on a dating site, and we are getting married next Feb.

I have used RSVP and Ok Cupid.

There are plenty of weirdos…But also plently of lovely men/women, I’ve made form great friends from these sites too…. You just need to be careful.

If you have a pic, You’ll get all types of messages, just be aware of that… some people are very very.. forward??

mr_wowtrousers 8:06 am 19 Sep 11

Sounds like Doc Dogg has been working on his “game”. Sounds scarily similar to the D.E.N.N.I.S. system from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”:

The D.E.N.N.I.S. system is revealed to be an acronym:

Demonstrate value
Engage physically
Nurture dependence
Neglect emotionally
Inspire hope
Separate entirely

Later we learn the M.A.C. system, the acronym:

Move in
After
Completion

And finally Frank’s system, SCRAPS!, which is not an acronym.
Frank’s system consists of flashing a wad of $100 bills and a magnum condom, to show you have money and a monster dong.

milkman 7:18 am 19 Sep 11

I saw a great T-shirt that you single lads should wear when meeting a lady, as it sends a clear message that your are available and approachable. It simply says “I F*** ON THE FIRST DATE”.

jenny123 4:51 am 19 Sep 11

Doc Dogg said :

AdventureTime said :

It would be nice to have all the spare time that ‘Demosthenes’ (what a pretentious user name!) obviously has to join community groups, but for those of us who have unpredictable work schedules, meeting people over the internet sure beats not meeting anyone at all!

It just comes down to how you prioritise your life. If you find it too hard to schedule one or two hours per week to a class or community group, how are you going to find the time to actually date someone. Even when I was internet dating I was putting in a few hours each night sending emails and organising dates for the weekend. Not to mention the hours I put into reading and watching material on how to improve my “game”.

I’d also like to reiterate what others have said and never have a first or second date that involves food. I used to follow the following formula:

Date 1: Organise to meet up just after lunch somewhere like a museum or gallery (free parking, toilets, open gardens) and go for a short walk somewhere picturesque and maybe sit down under a tree and get to know each other. After 40 mins you should know if they are crazy or not. As soon as an hour has passed, thank them for a nice time and walk them to the original meeting place and leave. If it didn’t go well let them know, if it did go well say you will contact them and organise date two.

Date 2: Same as date 1 but maybe grab an ice cream or a coffee and extend the date for 2 hours. Kiss them when finishing the date.

Date 3: Invite them around to your place and cook dinner (or have them cook dinner for you), listen to some music, play a board game and get to know them. I usually threw some pillows on the lounge floor in front of the fire and sat and talked. Initiate some hand holding or physical touch of some time. Tell them you are going to keep it strictly PG that night and follow through.

Date 4: Same as date 3 but the PG stuff goes out the window. By this stage you will have spent 8 hours with them and know them well enough to get some sheet action. I used to take them home after the date was over but letting them spend the night is OK if it was mind blowing and you want some morning action.

Date 5: Go and do something fun and enjoy your relationship…or sleep with them and dump them.

I was starting to feel some what OK about the whole thing until I read this..

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